Bloodlines Sequel
by pink n pretty barbie
Summary: This is set immediately following Bloodlines and is my speculation on what will happen next.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Okay, so this is my first fan fiction. I decided that I couldn't wait any longer for the next Bloodlines book, so I would start to speculate on what happens next. This picks up where Bloodlines ends, so if you haven't read it yet, this might not make sense. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

Chapter 1

The look on Abe's face was of utter amusement as he took in Adrian's expression once Dimitri Belikov entered the room. Trying to ease the tension, I instantly went to greet the newcomers with the polite ease that I had been trained to show.

"Ms. Karp. Guardian Belikov. So good to see you both again," I said taking both their hands in a polite handshake.

Glancing back at Adrian, I noticed that his stance had still not changed, so I pushed on hoping that he would come back to himself soon.

"I am looking forward to the research that you will be working on. If there is some way to protect against Strigoi conversion it would be groundbreaking." I could not bring myself to admit that the only way to accomplish this feat would be to use magic. Magic that was dark and just wrong.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Adrian retreat to the kitchen and return with a drink. I almost chastised him for this, but it was the weekend so there was little risk to Jill. Besides, I knew he was having difficulty facing the man who stole the woman he loved.

"Thank you so much for your support Sydney. I believe the Alchemists will be key to this research. Especially with the way your reports describe the Strigoi's reaction to your blood," replied Ms. Karp. I cringed at this, not wanting to remember the incident that had brought me face to face with two Strigoi not that long ago. "And do call me Sonya. I have a feeling we will be spending lots of time together."

Adrian finally spoke. "Yes, like one big happy family. Sonya will be our cousin after all." This was true. Sonya and Angeline's cover story would be that they were sisters and our cousins. I wasn't exactly sure how Dimitri would fit into this bizarre family charade. I had a feeling that Adrian was wondering the same thing, even though he had put back on his lazy smile and acted indifferent to the fact that Dimitri was standing in his living room.

Okay, Sonya," I replied with a smile. Glancing over at Dimitri I noticed that he had taken up his usual stoic look, but seemed to be watching Adrian wearily. I don't think he felt comfortable about being in this position either with Adrian.

"Well, this has all been very amusing, but I have a feeling that Sonya and Dimitri would like to get settled in at their apartment," interjected Abe. The tension had seemed to grow in the room and I was glad for Abe's comment. I was also glad that they were not going to be staying with Adrian. When I thought, it was just going to be Sonya coming it had seemed like a good idea to have her stay with Adrian, but now with Dimitri here as well, staying with Adrian would be out of the question. "I'm also sure that you need to be getting Angeline settled in at Amberwood," he directed at me.

"Yes, yes we really should be going." With the growing tension from everyone else, I was beginning to feel uneasy. I had learned to feel almost comfortable in Adrian's company, even if he was a Moroi, but by now I was realizing just how out numbered I was. The odds were now five to one; two dhampirs and three Moroi to one human. I knew that the nervousness that was building in me had to do with a lifetime of learning about how evil these creatures were. The fact that two of them had once been Strigoi didn't help.

Abe escorted Sonya and Dimitri out. I told Angeline to meet me at my car, Latte, and I would take her to Amberwood and help her get settled. When I turned to say goodbye to Adrian, he was no longer in the living room. I went into the kitchen where I found him pouring another drink. This time I decided not to hold back on my chastisement.

"I'm sure that Jill won't mind if you indulge considering what you have just been through, but do remember that what you do affects her."

With this, Adrian turned to look at me, no longer wearing a smile. "I don't need you to tell me who to consider. I know what I do affects Jill. I just need to get away from my thoughts for a little while," he said with an edge to his voice. It now seemed so long ago that we had shared that uncomfortable moment in his living room, when he had seemed to regard me so fondly.

"Fine Adrian, do what you want," I replied angrily. With that, I left him to his drinking and set off to Amberwood with Angeline.

**Please read and review. Any comments would be appreciated. I'm sorry for any errors.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you for the reviews. I hope this chapter is of a better length. Once again, I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_Fine Adrian, do what you want," I replied angrily. With that, I left him to his drinking and set off to Amberwood with Angeline._

Chapter 2

Back at Amberwood, I helped Angeline get checked in and introduced her to Mrs. Weathers, the girls' dorm matron. "This is Angeline Melrose. She is our cousin and will be attending school here with us," I explained to Mrs. Weathers.

"Of course, Angeline it is nice to meet you," Mrs. Weathers said with a pleasant smile on her face. "You will be rooming with your cousin, Jill. Sydney, here is your new room assignment. I know that you enjoyed rooming with your sister, but we like to keep students together that are closer to the same age. You won't have a roommate right now, but I hope this won't bother you."

I smiled politely at Mrs. Weathers, knowing that she did not realize that the new room assignments were the result of the Alchemists stepping in and making these arrangements. "It's not a problem at all. I will be fine by myself and I know Jill will enjoy staying with Angeline. Do you know if Mrs. Delaney is available for Angeline to get her fitting for her uniform?"

"I'm sure she is still in her room, but I would hurry just in case," replied Mrs. Weathers. With that, I set off with Angeline to get her fitted with her new uniform. After much grumbling from Angeline, Mrs. Delaney was finally able to get her in the uniform.

"I don't see how I am supposed to protect anyone in these clothes," protested Angeline on the way to her room. "Now I look just as prim as you." The tone of her voice was clear that it was not a compliment. It reminded me of her backhanded comment to Adrian about being to pretty to be useful. Not that she was implying that I was pretty. It was more that she implied the uselessness that she felt about me. "I'm sure that even you won't let a little clothing get in the way of your duties," I retorted.

Jill was waiting anxiously on her bed for us when we arrived. "Hi!" she exclaimed in her usually cheerful way. No trace of what I assumed Adrian had been doing was on her face, so either he stopped when I left or she was hiding it from me. "We are going to have so much fun. I've never met a Keeper before and I can't wait to hear all about you," rambled Jill. It was kind of cute how she would get this way when she was excited. "Rose had told me what an amazing fighter you are. Eddie has been teaching me some techniques, but he is always going easy on me. Maybe you could teach me some moves too." I could tell this shocked Angeline. From what she knew of the Tainted, they had abandoned defending themselves only to hide behind their Guardians. "Sure," she replied skeptically.

"Well, I'm going to leave you two to get to know each other, while I check out my new room. I will be just down the hall if you need anything." As I closed the door, I could hear them making plans to train and I hoped that Angeline wouldn't end up getting Jill into trouble.

Back in my new room, I felt relief at being alone. Don't get me wrong. I had really come to enjoy Jill's company, but I still was always a little on edge around her kind. As I looked around my room though, I took in how bare it really was. Except for my schoolbooks sitting on one of the desks and a few personal toiletries on the dresser, you wouldn't have known that anyone occupied the room. After having a roommate for so long, I almost wondered if I would be able to get used to being alone again.

I sighed and laid back on the bed. I decided that there was no way that I would miss rooming with a Moroi and it was just my fatigue from the day getting to me. At least that was what I was telling myself, but as I closed my eyes, my thoughts drifted to another Moroi, Adrian. The events of today were so confusing and Adrian exasperated me with his actions. I get that he loved Rose and that what she did with Dimitri hurt him, but how long was it going to take him to get past this. Then there was the whole awkward moment while he stared into my eyes. The way he made me feel when he did that just confused me more.

I must have drifted off to sleep because the next thing I knew there was a knock at my door. It was Jill accompanied by Angeline. "We are going to go meet Eddie and Micah for dinner. Would you like to come?"

"Sure," I replied. We were meeting them in our building's cafeteria, so we didn't have far to go. When we arrived, I noticed that Kristin and Julia were also sitting at the table with Eddie and Micah. It was good to see them. They had truly become the only real human girl friends that I had and it felt good to be able to have that connection. Growing up an Alchemist, you didn't have time for trivial things like friendships.

We introduced Angeline to Micah, Kristin, and Julia. Of course, Eddie acted appropriately as if he had known his 'cousin' forever. Angeline didn't take to Kristin and Julia so well, but she seemed a natural with Micah and Eddie. Clearly, there was a tomboy in her waiting to come out. I guess that should have been obvious with the way she handled herself. She never wanted to be one of those Keepers that married and had babies. She wanted to be out there fighting on the front lines.

I really had not touched much of my dinner, as I was lost in thought, so I excused myself to throw out my trash. It amazed me how easily Angeline had seemed to fit in and socialize, even though she had had such an odd upbringing. My childhood was different, to say the least, and I still seemed to have trouble understanding social cues. I always felt self-conscientious and awkward, especially around Jill with her perfect body and Adrian with his chiseled good looks.

"Earth to Melbourne."

I had not even realized that I had stopped by the trashcans and someone was talking to me. "Huh?"

"I said, 'Earth to Melbourne.' I have been trying to get your attention for a while now. What were you thinking about that had you so lost in outer space?" Trey asked.

"Oh. Just some schoolwork that I needed to do before tomorrow," I lied. It really wasn't a complete lie. I did actually have a few things I needed to do.

"Well, I was just coming to ask if you were going to go to the football game on Friday. Now that Slade doesn't have his handy tattoo to help him, I'm actually going to be starting in the game."

"I'll have to check and see if we have any family things planned, but if not, sure I'll be there." I really had no interest in sports, but it seemed rude not to act as if I wanted to go.

"So, is she another sister that has come out of the woodwork," Trey nodded towards Angeline. I chuckled. It seemed like the size of our family maybe wasn't as usual, as the Alchemists had hoped it would be when they came up with this plan.

"No, she is our cousin, Angeline, and she just enrolled. Her older sister, Sonya, just moved to the area for a job. Our parents boasted about how great Amberwood was, so my aunt and uncle decided to send Angeline here as well."

"Wow, more Melbournes join the ranks of Amberwood. Soon we are going to be overrun with Australians," he smiled.

"Ha, ha, you are just so hilarious," I laughed. "Well, I better be getting to that schoolwork. I'll see you tomorrow in Ms. Terwilliger's class." With that, I went to let the others know I was turning in and I headed back to my room.

I wasn't worried about Jill getting to her room safely, since she was already in the building that she needed to be in, besides, now she had Angeline to protect her. I actually felt a little bitter about this, not that I could physically protect Jill anyway, but I was beginning to wonder about whether I was really useful at all now. Angeline was enrolled as a freshman, the same as Jill, and the Alchemists had been able to get a class schedule that matched Jill's for her. This meant that Jill would never go unprotected. I knew that her protection was important, but that left me with nothing more to do than babysit and chauffeur my 'siblings' around. Overall, I was back to feeling like a mom again.

Back in my room, I finished-up my schoolwork and decided that I should get some rest. The nap from earlier in the day really had not done near as much for me as I had hoped. As I closed my eyes again, all of those feelings about being useless and motherly reared their ugly head. My mind wandered back to me chastising Adrian about his drinking. Really, what was I thinking? He was an adult, mostly. No wonder it annoyed him when I told him what to do, but I just couldn't help it. Being responsible just came naturally to me.

I wondered if I would ever be able to just let go and enjoy my life. Lee's comments about wasting my life and Keith's about being naïve were nagging at me again. Then there were Adrian's comments about me being a solid person. Was that really, what I wanted to be? Thinking about Adrian brought back that moment in his living room again. For just that moment, he seemed to regard me differently. Almost as if I wasn't the uptight Alchemist that I knew, I was. As I drifted off to sleep all I could see were his green eyes as they stared in wonder into my eyes…_"__They__'__re __beautiful. Y__ou__'__re __beautiful.__"_

**Please read and review. Again, any comments would be appreciated. I'm sorry for any errors.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you for the reviews, alerts, and people who have added my story as a favorite. It really does mean a lot. This chapter is considerably longer than the last. It just kind of took on a life of its own. Hopefully, I will be able to keep it up and do the characters justice. Once again, I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_As I drifted off to sleep all I could see were his green eyes as they stared in wonder into my eyes…"They're beautiful. You're beautiful."_

Chapter 3

I awoke to my alarm going off. Seriously, it couldn't be morning already. My restless sleep did not do much in the way of rejuvenating me. I even woke up in the middle of the night at one point, stressed out by all the prior day's events. Looking over at the empty bed beside me just reaffirmed how utterly alone I now was. This really should not have bothered me. I mean, I spent so much time alone prior to this, that it should have been comforting, but I couldn't seem to find the comfort now. I hastily got ready for school, grabbing a uniform and heading off to the bathrooms for a shower.

Once ready, I went to see if Jill and Angeline wanted to go get some breakfast, but they were already gone. Once again, I wasn't even useful enough to share a meal with. My depressed feelings stayed with me as I descended down to the cafeteria.

On my way, I ran into Kristin and Julia. They were talking giddily about fashion and what not. Nothing I was really interested in, but it was a nice change of atmosphere. I joined them, listening to their animated commentary about what was in and what was out trying to see if some of what other girls my age were interested in would rub off on me. Sadly I knew that what I considered fashion sense; blouses, blazers, A-line skirts, and slacks; would not remotely fit into what they considered fashion sense.

When we got to the cafeteria, I looked around for Jill and Angeline. They were nowhere around. They must have decided to have breakfast at the West Campus with the boys, I thought to myself. I grabbed a yogurt and ate about half of it before excusing myself from Kristin and Julia and heading off to my class.

Normally, I would have been excited to head to ancient history, but with everything that had happened with Ms. Terwilliger, I was a little uneasy in her class now. I had made it very clear that I never wanted to speak to her again about the so-called magic potential that she saw in me and she stayed true to her word about not bringing it up. There was just something about being around a human; a human who claimed to be able to perform magic and have 'coven status'; that was more than I was ready to deal with.

I always thought that the Alchemists had prepared me for anything out there, but a human actively performing magic was just one of those things that was not possible. Yes, humans could be persuaded to help vampires in hopes of becoming one of them or enjoying the endorphin high that came with one of their bites, but not this. Even in our world of Moroi, Strigoi, Dhampirs, and Alchemists, we still had a few things that were fairy tales like ghosts and witches. The thought of someone proving these myths to be real was more than I could handle.

When I entered the room, I saw Trey lounging at his usual spot up front. I knew that he was rather intelligent, but he always looked so aloof to learning while here. Not many other students had come in yet and Eddie wasn't in class yet either. I decided that I had had my fill of socialization this morning with Kristin and Julia, so I just found my desk and skimmed some notes since we were going to be having a test today. This was all stuff that I already knew, but it never hurt to be prepared. I could feel Trey watching me, but since I had not made an effort to talk to him, I guess he decided that he would leave me alone.

Eddie came in shortly afterwards and took the seat beside me. "We missed you at breakfast. Jill said that she didn't want to wake you." Sure, they missed me, considering they hadn't even come to get me before they left. I wasn't going to let on to how much that hurt.

"That's okay. I ate with Kristin and Julia. It was fun talking about girl stuff," I smiled. He looked at me a little oddly and I hoped he wouldn't see through my façade.

With that, class started and I was able to put aside all of my feelings for a little while. If there was, one thing that I was good at, it was learning. I could delve into almost any subject and no matter how much I already knew, I could always find something more to learn.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Trey kept his distance in AP Chemistry, maybe sensing my mood, even though I tried to hide it. Angeline had stepped up during PE to aid Jill with her inabilities at athletics. I was worried that this might offend Micah, since that had usually been his task, but he seemed amused to have another athletic Melrose to hang out with. I probably should have hoped that this would deter Micah, since he was human, but I had begun to grow fond of having him around. I also knew that Jill knew the boundaries that are set for her kind and I was sure that she would make sure that Angeline understood them as well.

When it came time for my independent study, I headed off to meet Ms. Terwilliger in the library. She had taken up her usual spot with a coffee in hand.

"Ah, Ms. Melrose, I'm so glad you're here." Ever since our last discussion, she somehow managed to remember my name. "I could use another coffee and here is your next assignment." It was another dusty old book. I gave her a level stare as I said, "There better not be any ulterior motive to this. I told you that I would continue with the note taking, but nothing more."

"I gave you my word that I would not speak to you again about it, unless you bring it up and I meant it. Please complete the notes just as before, typing out the directions to any spells that you come across, strictly for research purposes of course," Ms. Terwilliger smiled.

I was not exactly sure what she was hoping to accomplish by assigning more tasks like this, but I was not going to let her think that she would be able to peak my interest in something that I felt so strongly against. My Alchemist training kicked in as I politely took the book and told her that I would get these notes to her soon. I left and headed off campus to get that coffee that she had requested, being sure to buy one for myself as well and turn in the receipt. I felt the least she owed me was the cost of my coffee for what she had put me thru.

I returned shortly with her coffee and told her that I would work on the notes out in the main library. I assured her that I would have them to turn in by the end of the week. I thought maybe if I kept myself busy doing this assignment, I wouldn't have time to think about anything else that was going on in my life right now.

Once settled at a table in the library, I received a text message from Adrian: WOULD U COME TO THE MEETING AT 5 PM.

I knew exactly what meeting he was talking about. He was going to have to finally sit down in the same room with Dimitri while they discussed how to go about researching the magic that had saved Sonya and Dimitri. The very magic that was inside of Adrian. I did not want to say yes. This had the potential for me to be surrounded by something so wrong if they decided to test any theories. Whenever I was around their magic, I always felt like I would never be able to get it off me. Nevertheless, something about Adrian asking for my help, even after the way we had left things between us, was something I couldn't turn down. I sent a short text back: I'LL B THERE.

Trying not to think about what I just committed myself to, I started up my laptop and delved into the dusty old book that I had been given. Unfortunately, most of the book was spells, spells that she had wanted typed word for word. I was beginning to regret telling Ms. Terwilliger that I would have it done by the weekend.

I worked tirelessly until 4:30 pm. I figured that would give me enough time to get over to the apartment that Sonya and Dimitri were staying at. I decided to stop by my room quick to drop off my work and change. Adrian always seemed to point out how there wasn't much difference between my clothes and the uniforms, but I didn't want to go meet them looking too formal.

On my way out, I saw Jill, Eddie, Angeline, and Micah off behind that same cluster of trees that they had seemed to make their training ground. I decided not to head over there and let them know I was leaving. They probably wouldn't miss me anyway. I headed out to where Latte was parked and took the short drive over to the apartment.

The apartment was not far from the school. It was basically located between the school and Adrian's. I assumed that was to make it easy for either one of us to reach. I knew that they had wanted to get my input on the research that they would be doing, but I assumed I wouldn't have to get involved until they had actually done the research.

When I came to the door, before I could even knock, Adrian was answering it. The expression on his face was relief at seeing me. "How did you know I was here?" I asked.

"I didn't actually. I was going to step out for a cigarette."

It figured. He hadn't probably been here, but a few minutes and he was already using his usual crutch. "Well do you think you can manage to let your lungs be smoke free for a little longer," I retorted.

"Anything for you, Sage," he replied in his usual charming way, but I could see that agreeing to stay was costing him a lot.

The apartment was small, but rather nice. It was not as extravagant as Keith's decorating, but definitely not the used stuff that Adrian had to purchase. There was a nice couch and coffee table with a modest television set in the living room. There were two bedrooms and a bathroom off to one side and a kitchen with a little table in it off to the other. Piled on the coffee table and kitchen table seemed to be every scrap of material that the Moroi had ever come across regarding spirit. It looked like Sonya had wasted no time beginning the research even though she had just arrived.

"Welcome, welcome," said Sonya as she walked over to me hands outstretched to take hold of mine. I managed to take her hands with a smile as she squeezed them affectionately. I really didn't like physical contact with vampires, but I knew that it was important to be polite.

Dimitri was sitting on the couch with a western novel, being his usual silent self. Seeing the western novel almost made me do a double take, but I guess a dhamphir is entitled to enjoy literary entertainment like the rest of the world.

"Come sit. We have just ordered a pizza. It should be here shortly. I hope you're hungry." I did not have time to grab anything before I left the school, so I was glad that she had gone to the trouble. I was also glad that she was not cooking something herself. I did not want to have to eat something that had been prepared by anyone not human, but I knew that I would have had to accept if she had offered.

"Thanks. I actually am rather hungry," I replied.

"Does this mean you might eat a whole slice then?" Adrian smirked. He was always on me about how much I ate…_"__easy__on__the__eyes,__if__a__little__skinny.__"_ Both parts of his prior comment bothered me. 'Skinny' was definitely not something that I was, especially when you put me next to the super model bodies of Moroi. Of course, the 'easy on the eyes' comment caused discomfort for a whole different set of reasons. Ones that I was not entirely sure I understood.

"How about we make a deal?" I mused. I didn't like him drawing attention to my eating habits, so I thought I would offer a little payback. "I'll eat one whole slice of pizza, if you resist taking a cigarette break for the rest of this meeting."

I could tell he was mulling over the idea. With it being a school night, Adrian was unable to drink because it would affect Jill. His cigarettes were the only vice he had left to him. Without them, he would have no excuse to leave the room and would have to remain in Dimitri's company for the rest of the evening, but he decided to take it in stride. "Well if you can make a sacrifice, so can I. Besides, you really could use the carbs, so it is more like I am doing you a favor. There will be plenty of time for me to help the lung cancer along later," he smiled.

The pizza arrived just then and we ate while filling the silence with getting to know each other. I found out that Dimitri was just here to help with the research and to protect Sonya, but would not be participating in our family ruse.

Once I relaxed, I found that I was enjoying their company much in the same way that I used to with Eddie and Jill at school. Of course, that was when Eddie and Jill still seemed to need or want me around.

I noticed that Adrian was staying silent, but I guess that was to be expected. I didn't pretend to think that small talk was something he had planned to endure with Dimitri. When I glanced at him though, he was regarding me with an odd look on his face, not glaring at Dimitri like I had expected. When I caught his eye though, his expression changed and he smiled as if he had not been staring at all.

After the meal, Sonya and Adrian showed me some of the research that had already been pulled together about what spirit users were capable of. I could see how passionate they both were about this. I'm sure it must have been a relief to find out they weren't crazy, just gifted with an ancient magic that had been lost. They also had records of strange occurrences in their world that resembled things that spirit users could do. Maybe they would be able to find that 'bastard spirit user' that had converted Lee. I know that the Alchemists had not had any luck with that.

Dimitri for the most part just stayed silent and vigilant while we discussed the documents at hand. Clearly, he planned to be the strong silent type during this mission.

When it neared curfew, I let Sonya and Dimitri know that I needed to leave, but it was nice to have been able to help. I turned to Adrian, "I'm assuming you took the bus to get here and I know how you don't like to deprive them of your company, but would you like to catch a ride back with me."

The smile on his face showed his amusement at my attempt at banter. "Why, Sage, that is so thoughtful," he said. "You do realize though, since the meeting will technically be over once we leave, that means I will be having that cigarette."

"Not in my car," I scoffed. The amusement never left his face. "Fine, I will continue to suffer for you, Sage. Like I said before, I guess no good deed goes unpunished." I felt this hardly compared to the time when he showed up to apologize only to find Lee trying to kill me, but I let it go.

Once in the car, I noticed Adrian regarding me again the same way that he had done at dinner. "What?" I said a little exasperated. He was beginning to make me feel uncomfortable. Just like that, his expression changed back to his usual lazy smile. "Just enjoying the view."

"Well, stop doing that. You were staring at me like that during dinner as well," I said.

"I was just checking your aura. It seems normal now."

"As opposed to what?" I asked. I wasn't comfortable with him using spirit, but he always seemed so interested in auras and to tell the truth I kind of wondered what it was that he saw.

"Well, earlier your aura seemed to darken. Not in the way that Rose or Jill's does from them being shadow-kissed, just more in an upset kind of way." I could see that it hurt him to say Rose's name, but he tried his best to hide it. "What were you thinking about?"

I didn't like the idea of being vulnerable around Adrian, even if I had grown to think of him as harmless. "Nothing that I care to discuss with you," I snapped, probably more bitter than I should have, but he didn't let it phase him.

I quickly changed the subject and he rolled with it. "So how are your art classes going?"

"Quite well, actually. I talked the teacher into giving me grades on my assignments, so that I would at least know how I am doing. I know that the grades won't count, but it is always good to know where you stand." I was happy to see him enjoying himself. When he started taking the classes, they really seemed to help him cope. Jill seemed better too, which meant that he hadn't been having too many dark feelings that were spreading to her.

"Well, that is good to hear. I will have to stop in sometime and check out what you're creating."

"Masterpieces, Sage. Masterpieces. I could create nothing less," he said with unbelievable grandeur. With a laugh I replied, "Of course, what was I thinking."

I dropped Adrian off and just made it back to Amberwood before curfew. Before I reached my room, I decided that I should stop in and check on Jill. I mean that was what my assignment was, keep the royal Moroi safe. That bitterness started to appear again, but when I knocked on the door and Jill answered, I let it go. Jill was glad to see me, even if I couldn't say the same for Angeline.

"Where have you been all day?" said Jill. "I didn't want to disturb you this morning, but I have hardly seen you since PE."

"Oh, I had to do some more research for Ms. Terwilliger and then I had to go with Adrian to meet with Sonya and Dimitri. I just got back, so I thought I would check on you guys. How has your first day been, Angeline?"

"Just fine. I don't see how anyone would think that it would be difficult to blend in here. I don't enjoy all the class work, but PE was pretty fun." Of course, she would be able to fit in just fine, I thought. I swear, what was wrong with me.

"Well, glad to hear it. I'm pretty tired so, I'm going to go turn in," I stated as I turned. Jill grabbed my arm, but quickly released it knowing how I felt about contact. "Do you have a minute?" she asked meekly.

"Sure."

She stepped out into the hall closing the door behind her on Angeline. "Listen, I can't always see what is going on through Adrian's eyes, but I know he felt really bad about what happened last night. He poured the drink out as soon as you left. I also know that he really appreciated you going to the meeting tonight with him, even after what happened the other night."

"Listen, Jill, I know you seem to feel like you need to protect him or make excuses for him, but it would just be nice if for once he stood up for himself without needing a crutch. The constant boozing and smoking, just gets old. I have seen that he can be so much more than that," I said. I think my sincerity shocked her a little. I know it shocked me.

"Thanks for believing in him. I know it means so much to him and it means a lot to me as well," she said with a smile. "Well, I'll let you get to bed and I will be sure to get you tomorrow for breakfast."

I said goodnight and went to the loneliness of my room to ponder all of the emotions that seemed to be going through me. A dreamless sleep eventually took me over.

**Please R & R. Comments are greatly appreciated. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thank you again for all the kind reviews. Sorry it took a little longer for this chapter, but I promise to never have longer than a week between updates. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I said goodnight and went to the loneliness of my room to ponder all of the emotions that seemed to be going through me. A dreamless sleep eventually took me over._

Chapter 4

Jill stopped by with Angeline, just as she said she would, when I was getting ready for the day. We headed off to the West Campus building to meet the guys. The weather was rather nice for once, not too hot with a slight breeze, so we decided to walk instead of taking the shuttle. Angeline was happy about this. It seemed that she felt having only one PE class wasn't enough in the exercise area.

As we were cutting across the campuses, we took a path that was near the track. The football team was out having practice. Angeline was taking it all in as we went.

"Man, I could teach those guys a thing or two about taking someone down. They are doing it all wrong," scowled Angeline.

Jill seemed to think this was amusing. "I'm sure you could, but the point to football isn't to incapacitate someone. It is just to tackle them to the ground. They are supposed to be able to get back up afterwards," she chuckled.

As they were talking, I saw a familiar figure off to the side throwing the ball back and forth with another player. He was wearing a tank top and some basketball shorts. I couldn't help but notice him. I never paid attention before to just how muscular Trey was, but as he threw the ball, you could see the muscles in his arms at work. His calve muscles weren't too shabby either. I didn't think I had ever noticed before, but Trey was rather attractive.

Trey must have felt that someone was watching him because he turned around. My cheeks heated a little at him noticing me, but I hoped no one saw. He threw up his hand in a wave at me. I returned the wave with one as well and smiled. I hadn't realized that I had stopped and now noticed that Jill and Angeline were several paces in front of me. I caught up quickly and was glad for once that they seemed to have been ignoring me.

Breakfast was uneventful. We ate together as a 'family' and as always Micah joined us. I had come to expect him wherever you found Eddie, or Jill for that matter. I just hoped that he wouldn't be too crushed when Jill didn't return his feelings.

When it was time to head off to our first class, our 'family' parted ways and Eddie walked with me to ancient history. When we got there, Trey was up at the front as usual lounging. I noticed that he had changed and his hair looked damp at the ends like he had just come from a shower. Looking at him now, I realized that he really did look that muscular, he just hid it well under his clothing.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Ms. Terwilliger, as she called the class to order and started in on the new chapter we were starting today. It was on another subject I already knew, but I loved history, so it didn't bother me to hear about it again. As usual, I was the only one to raise my hand as she rattled off questions, but I had gotten used to that.

When class was over and Eddie and I went to leave, I heard Trey call my name.

"Hey Melbourne wait up!"

Eddie looked over to see Trey coming up behind us and discreetly told me that he would see me later. I turned to Trey and couldn't help the smile that played on my lips.

"So, did you catch the practice this morning?" he asked. The image of how good he looked throwing the football around went through my mind causing a little bit of that blush from earlier to creep up on my cheeks.

"Oh, we were just walking over to the West Campus for breakfast, since it was such a nice day. I really didn't catch much of it."

"Oh," he said sounding a little disappointed. "Well, too bad. You could have seen me in all my glory. We have practice every morning if you want to stop by sometime and watch." I still really had no interest in watching football, but I might not have minded watching him.

"Maybe one morning I will stop by. I know my cousin, Angeline, seemed really interested in watching." I didn't want Trey to realize my interest in watching him, so I figured Angeline would be a good buffer. Of course, Angeline wasn't just interested in watching. She would have rather been out there delivering some of those bone-crunching blows.

"Yeah, you should bring her by. That would be great." He almost seemed a little dejected by my reply about bringing Angeline, but I think I had just imagined it.

"So, are you ready for the big chemistry project that will be announced today?" he asked. I had completely forgotten that we were going to be assigned a project that would be due by the end of this week. My mind started racing with how I would ever be able to complete a chemistry project and the notes for Ms. Terwilliger along with attending the meetings with Sonya and Dimitri.

"I had forgotten about that," I replied as I started to feel the pressures of all my duties weighing on me. The stress must have been written all over my face.

"Hey, don't worry about it. You know all this stuff backwards and forwards. This will be easy for you. I was only bringing it up because I wanted to see if you would be my partner," Trey said in a reassuring voice.

We grabbed our seats, as I agreed to be his partner. He seemed genuinely thrilled that I said yes. I should have realized that his eagerness to be friendly and invite me to practice was just an opening for this. I know it sounds egotistical, but who wouldn't want the smartest student in the class as their lab partner.

As we were leaving class, we signed up to use one of the labs at 6 pm. Trey said that he had to work before that, but he would be back in time to meet me at the lab. I told him that was fine and I would get everything prepared ahead of time. I hoped that we would be able to finish the project tonight, so it would be one less thing on my plate.

The rest of the day seemed to pass in a blur. My mind was on all the work that I had to accomplish by the end of the week.

When I was done with classes for the day, I headed to the library with the book that I was translating for Ms. Terwilliger. Well, actually I headed off to pick up the coffee she would undoubtedly want. As I brought her the coffee, I noticed that she was too consumed by her research to bother with me. Therefore, I left the coffee with her and headed to the main part of the library.

While I translated the spells, I also researched the lab project for later. Multi-tasking was, yet again, an important skill that the Alchemists had taught.

Once I had pulled together all the information we needed for the project and had completed translating half of the book, I decided to take a break. Walking around the campuses, I took in the beauty of the season. It was autumn, but it still felt like summer.

Off to the side, I caught the familiar sight of Eddie squaring off with Jill. I decided to catch a little of their training before I had to meet Trey to work on our project.

Eddie swung out at Jill and she feinted away from the blow. She reacted quickly, but I could see that Eddie's heart wasn't in trying to hurt her.

"You're doing it again," whined Jill. "Come on Eddie. You have to actually try if I am going to learn to defend myself."

Before Eddie could even respond, Angeline jumped in landing a blow easily on Jill. Jill turned, after stumbling, but tried to take Angeline on anyway. I could see that Eddie wanted to step in, but he could see that Jill was enjoying herself. Instead, he asked if Micah wanted to practice.

Eddie seemed to spar against Micah with the speed and strength that I knew all Guardians possessed. Even though Micah was just a human, he seemed rather quick himself. He actually landed some blows on Eddie, while being able to dodge some of Eddie's blows.

I had sat down at the edge of their little training circle watching as the four of them fought. It was graceful and violent all at one time. As I thought about it though, I realized that if someone hadn't known what they were doing, it would really appear as if they were fighting. Then, it occurred to me, that maybe the school's security wasn't the best. Especially, considering no one even noticed these four beat the crap out of each other on a regular basis. That thought was actually a little unsettling.

Jill noticed me sitting there and broke away from Angeline to come stand in front of me. "Come on Sydney. It wouldn't hurt you to learn to defend yourself," Jill got out between breaths. She had definitely been working up a sweat.

"Well, actually Jill, it really could hurt me to learn to defend myself seeing how you all are swinging at each other," I chuckled.

Angeline had come over at this point. "Come on, even your kind might need to defend yourself at some point," she said. Luckily, Micah was too involved with Eddie to catch Angeline's comment about 'my kind'.

Jill piped in then. "Yeah and Eddie did teach you how to swing a punch without hurting yourself." Once Jill said that, I could see Angeline was too keyed up to let me out of this learning experience, so I let Jill pull me up.

Before I knew it, a fist was coming at me and I was going down. After watching Angeline jump in without any warning with Jill, I should have seen that coming. Jill was by my side trying to help me up and yelled for Eddie.

Eddie, clearly wrapped up with Micah, had not seen what had happened. He instantly was at my other side, helping me up. "What the hell happened?" Eddie asked, clearly in as much shock as I think I was in. He looked from me to Jill to Angeline and I think the pieces started to fall into place for him. My eye and the whole side of my face were throbbing.

Once I was standing on my own, Angeline stepped in front of me. "I'm sor…" Before she could even get her apology out, I punched her. If I hadn't been in so much pain already, I would have been proud of the punch. It was perfectly executed, just the way Eddie had taught me.

It also took Angeline completely by surprise. She hadn't even tried to defend herself, but then her instincts kicked in. Heedless of the blood gushing from her nose, she lunged for me. Eddie caught her quickly, restraining her. Micah stepped in between us, clearly not sure what to make of our 'family feud'.

Eddie took charge and told Jill and Micah to get me to the clinic. I went with them without any arguments. I think I was still in shock about what had happened and what I had done. I did not think I broke her nose, but I definitely caused it to bleed.

Thoughts of what the Alchemists would think if this got back to them quickly started swirling through my head. "You know guys, I'm fine, really," I said hastily.

"You most definitely are not fine, Sydney. You need to get some ice on your eye and your hand to stop the swelling," Jill replied.

I wasn't sure how to say anything to her about the problems that might arise by going to the clinic with Micah around, but I think she sensed why I was reluctant. Jill turned to Micah, "Would you mind getting an ice pack from the clinic and bring it back to the girls' dorm, while I take Sydney to get cleaned up?"

Of course, Micah instantly complied. He had apparently picked up my stuff when we left and handed over my backpack to Jill, before leaving us.

"Thanks," I said. "I just don't want this to cause any problems for us here." Or for me with the Alchemists, I added to myself.

"That's fine," Jill replied. "I figured as much."

"Do you think Eddie will be able to deal with Angeline without having to involve the clinic?" I asked.

"I'm sure he has already thought of that and I don't think you broke her nose. I think you just hurt her pride. I imagine getting beat up by an Alchemist is pretty embarrassing for a Keeper."

"I didn't beat her up," I scoffed. "It was just one punch. Besides, now I have to figure out what I am going to say about my face. I'm not going to be able to hide this." We were back in my room now and I could see that my eye was swelling. I would definitely have a nasty black eye.

"Just tell the truth, well mostly. Just say that Angeline and you were goofing around and it was an accident. I'm sure that even if you didn't break Angeline's nose, it is going to be a little swollen, so she will need a story as well," Jill stated.

I agreed to Jill's story and told her I would be fine while she went down to retrieve the ice pack from Micah. By the time she returned, I had cleaned up and changed. She asked if I wanted her to stay, but I informed her that I needed to go meet Trey. With ice pack in hand, I headed out to where the labs were.

"Whoa! What happened to you?" Trey asked with a look of shock on his face.

"Angeline and I were goofing off. It was an accident," I lied. Trey seemed to see right through it.

"That might fly for the black eye, but your hand certainly doesn't look like an accident. It looks like you hit someone." He sounded surprised as he said that. Was it really that hard for someone to think that I could defend myself.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said flatly. I think Trey decided that if I had punched someone, he'd rather not be on the receiving end of it, so he dropped it.

"So, are you ready to work on our project?" he asked.

"Yes." I emptied out the contents from my backpack that had to do with the project and we got to work. The time seemed to pass quickly as we mixed chemicals and took notes. Trey talked about football practice and how things had changed since Nevermore closed their doors. It was nice to see him so happy to be back on top in football. I also thought about how nice it was to see him practicing earlier. I quickly dismissed those thoughts, though, remembering how eager he was to have me as a lab partner.

We were wrapping up, deciding that we would meet again on Thursday to double check our results, when I got a text from Adrian: HELP.

I dismissed the text figuring if Adrian was in any real danger, I would be the last person he would call for help. This, of course, made my mood plummet, seeing as the only help Adrian would need from me would be to drive him to the liquor store or to get cigarettes.

Trey seemed to notice the change in my mood with the text. "So who's the text from?"

"Oh, just my brother, Adrian," I replied.

"Ah," he said as if he understood why Adrian annoyed me. "So did he ever find that job that wouldn't require his hands to do manual labor," he said sarcastically. I had almost forgotten about the whole job-hunting adventure and how Trey had gotten an interview at the coffee shop for him. No wonder he thought he understood my annoyance.

"Actually, he decided to go back to college," I said. Clearly, that surprised Trey.

"Really, I never took him for that type," Trey said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, a little too defensively.

"I didn't mean anything bad by it," he said. "It's just that, well, you seem to be the brains in the family, Eddie seems to be the brawn, and, well, Adrian seems to be the beauty."

Okay, with that comment I did not know what to say. Trey wasn't exactly wrong, but the beauty, really.

Seeing the look on my face seemed to make Trey feel the need to go on. "I didn't mean to imply that you're not beautiful, too. It's just that I didn't necessarily see Adrian as having any brains."

Okay, now I was really speechless. Did Trey just say I was beautiful? Beautiful was not a compliment I received often, nor did I think I deserved it, especially sporting a black eye. I knew I needed to say something before this got any more uncomfortable, but I couldn't think of anything.

"Um…I better go see what Adrian wants," and with that parting comment, I left.

**Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: As always, thanks for the reviews and I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_Um…I better go see what Adrian wants," and with that parting comment, I left._

Chapter 5

I wasn't sure if I would make it to Adrian's before curfew, but I needed some air. I didn't respond to Adrian's text, I just drove straight there. After banging on the door a few times, I started to wonder if Adrian had really been in trouble. When he finally answered the door, his clothes were splattered with paint. That only mildly distracted me from the look on his face.

"What the hell happened to you!" he exclaimed. I'd forgotten about my face, but clearly, that did not mean that it had gone away.

"It's nothing, really. Angeline and I were just goofing around." The lie sounded even more ridiculous when I said it to Adrian. He moved to the side, so that I could come in and shut the door behind me. I could feel him still staring at me.

"Sage, you are not the physical type, even if your hand shows different." Darn it, why did he have to be so observant.

"Adrian, its fine. I didn't come here to talk about me. Remember, you asked for help," I said changing the topic.

"Fine, but this is not over," he said as he brushed past me. So much for Adrian being easily distracted.

I followed him into the kitchen. There was an easel sitting where the table had been. The floor was covered with plastic, I assumed to protect it from having to be cleaned by his hands. As I took it all in, my eyes widened when they fell on the painting that was on the easel. It was of me.

"Do you like it?" Adrian asked. I could hear the hope in his voice. The painting was a close up of my face at an angle, the side with my tattoo. The focal point seemed to be my eyes. It was amazing how he captured them.

"I don't know what to say." My mind was reeling. My thoughts drifted back to that uncomfortable moment standing in the living room with Adrian staring into my eyes. Looking at that painting, I could almost believe that I was beautiful, at least in Adrian's eyes.

"So, is that a yes or a no?" inquired Adrian. He was looking at me with that intensity that he would often get when he was checking out my aura.

"I'd say yes," I breathed. I was trying to get my mind and body back under control. My stomach had begun those flip-flops again. I needed to put my professional face back on, but it was so hard.

I could see Adrian smile at my approval out of the corner of my eye. "Yes, I'd say so also," he said still staring at me as if he knew some secret that I didn't. I could only guess at what my aura was doing, but I needed it to stop. This was all way too confusing.

I took a deep breath and turned to Adrian, trying to stay neutral to my feelings. "So what did you need help on exactly?" I asked.

"Well, I wasn't sure that I got the eyes right, so I wanted to see them in person. Now looking at you I can tell that I didn't," he said.

"You didn't? Why? What is wrong with them?" I asked a little hurt. I thought the painting was perfect.

"Now, looking at your eyes, I realize that there is no way I would ever be able to do them justice. There just isn't any substitute for the real thing."

At this point, I just needed Adrian to stop talking if I thought I would ever be able to gain my composure. I tried to think of something, anything, to change the subject and I came up with the only thing I could think of. I stepped out of the kitchen and sat on the couch.

"So, do you want to know what happened to my face?" I asked and just like that, thank God, the subject was changed.

"You're damn right I want to know what happened to your face," he said intently, sitting down next to me. "I thought Angeline was there to protect everyone, not start fights with them." He seemed a bit more flustered than I thought he should have been over this. I was hoping that some bit of spirit seeping into his emotions wasn't fueling it.

"Well, she didn't exactly start a fight with me. At least not in the way you are thinking," I tried to explain calmly. "They were all training together and Jill asked if I wanted to join in. Angeline had figured that I had agreed to join in and that's when she hit me." To this, I could see Adrian's face growing darker. "Really, it was fine and I did get a good punch in." I raised my hand as I said that, as if I needed to show him proof. "I even made her bleed." I cringed at my own comment, but at this point, I was trying to say anything to get him out of his dark mood. That last statement seemed to be the one to do the trick.

"Well, good. I hope she looks worse than what she did to you," he said with his lazy smile back on his face. I was glad to see he was back under control. I just hoped that Jill was okay back at school. I did not like the thought that I had caused Adrian to have a bad mood that might have seeped over to her.

I realized I was still looking into his eyes and he was staring back at me. The smile was no longer on his face. It looked as if he was thinking about something he wanted to say, but was undecided. "You know, I could take care of that for you," he finally said and just like that, any warm moment I had been feeling was gone.

"No," I said flatly, as I backed away from him on the couch. It was like I had been dowsed with cold water. How could I have ever thought anything that Adrian could say or do would make me feel anything, but wrong? He was a vampire, a vampire who wielded magic, magic that he wanted to use on me right now.

"Sage, I won't hurt you. I just want to help," he pleaded as he reached out towards my face.

"No!" I screamed as I jumped up from the couch. Adrian flinched and dropped his hand. I could see the hurt written all over his face, but how could he have offered to do that. He knew how I felt about magic. He had been there to see my reaction anytime I was around it.

I no longer wanted to be in the same room with him. I needed to get out of there, before something happened. Quickly, I moved to the door. "I have to get back to school. It is already past curfew." I could hear him get up from the couch, but I didn't look back. He also, didn't say anything. I had a feeling he was still hurt by my reaction, but I was too worked up to care.

Still facing the door I said, "Tomorrow is feeding day. Did you need me to pick you up on our way to Clarence's?" Even though Lee was gone, Clarence still agreed to open his house and feeder to us.

"Don't worry about me," Adrian replied. "I'll meet you there." I never turned, but I could hear the pain in his voice. I knew I just needed to go, so I opened the door and left being sure never to turn back.

Back at school, I was indeed past curfew and Mrs. Weathers made sure to make me aware. I apologized for my tardiness, explaining away how my brother had needed me. I also explained away the condition of my face with the story that Jill had come up with. If there was a skill we Alchemists had better than anything, it was explaining away any incident and being very convincing.

In my room, I was so exhausted from the evening's events that I just crashed. My dreams started with Trey, looking amazing, calling me beautiful and ended with Adrian's eyes.

When I awoke the next morning, I felt just as exhausted as I had when I went to sleep. Darn it, I needed to get a handle on my emotions. I was beginning to think that my life would have just been easier if I had accepted the offer to become the resident Alchemist and passed on the opportunity to keep this life up.

The sad truth was that I was beginning to enjoy having some kind of social life, even if it was with vampires. Besides, it was not as if I only socialized with vampires. There were Julia, Kristin, and Micah. There was also Trey.

Thinking of Trey brought back the dreams from the night before. Maybe, yesterday, Trey had actually been flirting with me. Maybe, it wasn't just a way to get a lab partner. A relationship with Trey would certainly be easier than say a relationship with Adrian.

I had to mentally slap myself. What was I thinking? For one, there would never be a relationship with Adrian. Secondly, I could not get involved with anyone. I was an Alchemist and even for me, getting involved with a human would be difficult. There were too many secrets that had to be kept. I had seen how it created problems with my parents and my sisters.

I got ready for the day trying to cover up my black eye as best I could and met up with Julia and Kristin as I headed down to breakfast. They both noticed instantly, but I was quick with my answer and they seemed to buy it. We sat with Micah and the rest of my 'family'. Angeline didn't speak to me and I could only assume that there would be a rematch in my future. The day proceeded like usual after that. Trey wasn't in class, so I assumed he was sick. Even though it was probably wrong, I was glad that I didn't have to face him after the way I had left things last night. I just wasn't prepared to deal with his comment yet.

Earlier in the day, I reminded Eddie that it was feeding day and he assured me that he would meet me by Latte with Jill and Angeline after their last class, so that we could leave. Like clockwork, they arrived shortly after the final class let out.

"So, I'm assuming we need to pick up Adrian," Jill said. I guess she didn't catch our conversation last night. I was somewhat glad about that, because I didn't think I wanted to discuss what had happened, with her.

"No, he said he would meet us there," I replied. This got me a few looks from everyone. I think the thought that I would have talked with Adrian was surprising.

"When did you talk to him?" Jill asked, clearly shocked that she didn't know.

"Um, last night. He asked if I could help him with a project, so I had stopped by his place." Once again, I received more surprised looks. I think Jill was truly baffled that she had not known I was with Adrian last night. Well, for whatever reason that Jill was not pulled into Adrian's thoughts, I was relieved. That meant she must not have had any bad side effects caused by what happened between Adrian and me.

The rest of the car ride to Clarence's was quiet. I think Jill was still pondering over the fact that she had not seen me with Adrian. Either that or she was trying to see if she could get into his head now. When we arrived, Dorothy let us in and assured us that Adrian was already waiting for us in the living room.

When we walked into the living room, I started getting that uneasy feeling again. Clarence greeted us and offered us something to drink. He looked just as he had the last few times I had seen him. His son, Lee, having been killed had really taken a toll on him, especially since it was clear that Lee had killed Tamara, his niece.

I declined the drink, as I always did, and looked around nervously. I didn't like being in Clarence's house. It just seemed creepy for a vampire's home, not that I had really been in many, but Adrian at least kept his place cheerful.

Adrian stood then and asked if I wanted to go outside. I wasn't sure why he would make the gesture, considering how I had treated him last night, but I took him up on it anyway. It had kind of become a ritual between us on these visits. Adrian would offer to go outside with me, so that I wouldn't have to endure being around while the vampires fed.

As we walked outside, I felt like I needed to apologize, but I wasn't sure how to begin. It was then that I noticed.

"You're not having a cigarette," I said unable to keep the shock off my face.

"You noticed huh. Well, I guess I'm just trying to live up to that image of 'more' that you seem to think that I am," he replied with a hint of frustration. I wasn't sure if the frustration came from the lack of smoking or from what I had said about him.

"So, Jill told you what I said." I wasn't really mad at Jill and it wasn't like what I said had been a secret, it was just that I hadn't expected her to actually tell him.

"Yep, there are no secrets between me and Jailbait," he replied with a sudden cheerful shift to his mood. I didn't think I would ever get used to his mood swings.

"Listen, about last night," I started, but Adrian instantly lifted his hand to cut me off.

"Don't worry about it. I shouldn't have offered when I already knew how you felt," he said and just like that, my apology was given and accepted. The only problem was that I still felt bad.

Adrian was eyeing me again with that intensity that told me he was looking at more than just me. "What's wrong?" he asked with a voice full of concern. "I don't like seeing your aura like this."

"Like what?" I asked. I knew I shouldn't be curious, but once again, I couldn't help it.

"It is so clouded, as if you are sad." He said it with such emotion, as if it actually pained him to see me that way.

"It's just that I know I hurt you last night with what I said and even if I have issues with some of the things that come with you being a vampire, I never meant to hurt you," I breathed. I still felt like there was a great weight on my chest, but in saying this, it felt like it had lifted a little. No matter how I felt about his kind, I knew that I never wanted to see him hurt as I had last night.

"Thank you," he said. His face was so sincere. "It means a lot to know that, Sage." The way he said my name stirred all kinds of emotions. It was the nickname he always called me, but this time it seemed almost magical.

Without even realizing it, we had gone back to staring into each other's eyes. It was as if there was nothing in the world but us. I saw his hand reach up as if he was going to touch me and I'm not sure I could have moved if he had, but he instantly dropped it.

He broke our gaze first this time. Looking back at the house he said, "Well, we probably ought to get back inside. I'm sure Jill is done by now."

"Yes, that is probably a good idea," I said slipping back into professional mode. I didn't know what to think of what just happened, but I knew that whatever it was, it was wrong.

We headed back into the living room and indeed Jill was done. Everyone was sitting already chatting about nothing particular with Clarence and I could see that he enjoyed the company. With our arrival though, Eddie quickly wrapped the conversation up, knowing that we would need to be leaving.

As we walked out, I turned to Adrian, "So, do you need a ride home?"

"No," he replied. "Sonya is stopping by for a feeding and then I will be heading back to her apartment to work on some more spirit research." I knew that he conveniently left out the part about Dimitri coming with her and that it was technically both of their's apartment.

"Do you need me to stop by later?" I asked. I felt like I at least owed him that much after everything that happened last night, especially if he really was trying to quit smoking.

Adrian smiled a little at the offer. I could see that he knew my gesture was sincere and not a professional courtesy. Jill, Angeline, and Eddie had already gotten into Latte at this point, so they didn't hear the way he spoke to me next. "I appreciate the gesture, but if you really meant it before about me being more, well then I need to start taking care of myself." His eyes showed such conviction, that I was overwhelmed with pride. I once again found myself unable to look away from his gaze and just like the last time, Adrian was the one to look away first.

I didn't say anything else to Adrian as I got in the car. Eddie spared me a glance when I got in, but continued his discussion regarding guardian techniques with Angeline. Angeline, of course, didn't bother to acknowledge me. Jill, though, I could see in the rearview mirror was regarding me with a slight smile on her face. She never spoke, but I had a feeling that this time, she hadn't been kept from Adrian's thoughts.

Back at the school, Angeline was eager to practice what she and Eddie had been discussing, but Jill always came first for Eddie, so his priority was doing whatever Jill wanted to do. Jill could see how much it meant to Angeline, though, so she agreed to go practice moves. Seeing, as I did not want to be involved in another practice session for quite some time, I instantly excused myself and went to the library to work on more translations before it closed for the evening.

As I started up my laptop and turned to where I had left off, I started to think more about what I had been translating. That amulet that I had created had actually worked. Was there more to this book than just myth? Should I be concerned that I created magic, even if it had probably given us the distraction we needed to stay alive long enough to be rescued? I decided that I couldn't dwell on this right now, not with everything else on my mind. It would just be ridiculous for me to believe that humans could perform magic. What happened with the amulet was a fluke and nothing more.

I translated the rest of the spells before the library closed, which left me with just some final notes before I would be able to turn in my research. Then, I would be done with this part of the project. I just hoped that Ms. Terwilliger would not be able to dredge up another book like this to give me.

I headed back to my room and just so happened to run into Jill and Angeline on my way up. I could tell Angeline was still excited by what they had been working on, but her mood seemed to plummet when she saw me. I knew it wasn't my fault for what happened, but I remembered what Jill had said about Angeline's pride. I decided if we were ever going to get past this, I would just have to be the bigger person and apologize.

"Look Angeline," I said, "I'm sorry about what happened the other day. I didn't mean to hit you and I'm not exactly sure where that reaction came from." Looking at Angeline, I wasn't sure if she was going to punch me or accept my apology, so what she said next actually took me by surprise.

"Listen, Sydney," she said my name almost in a friendly way. "I don't need your apology. There is nothing to apologize for. What you did was merely let your instincts take over. I was actually a little impressed, if not a bit annoyed that I was not able to continue to see what you had. Maybe sometime we could try again?" I knew that there would be a rematch in my future, but I certainly had not thought it would be for this reason. She actually just wanted to practice with me, not get even.

"Um, okay, but I think I would like to let the eye heal first," I said with a little uncertainty. I was hoping that that would buy me a little time before she swung out at me again.

"Sure," she said cheerfully as if I had made her day and she headed into her room like everything was right in the world. Jill and I were left standing in the hall staring after her.

"You know that you better try and get in some secret practices with Eddie, if you are going to want to survive," Jill said with a little smirk. "I'm sure you can defend yourself, but Angeline is a little intense even for a seasoned Guardian like Eddie."

"Yes, I can see that I seriously put my foot in my mouth with that agreement," I said trying to laugh it off, but inside I was seriously considering my safety once my black eye healed.

With that, Jill and I parted ways. I was thankful that she didn't bring up what she might have heard or felt at Clarence's house. Those emotions were still lingering around in the back of my mind.

I fell into a deep sleep thinking about Adrian's eyes and how they regarded me. It was a blissful sleep without any conflict. My mind just let me enjoy the way he made me feel without any questioning.

**Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Well, here is my third chapter for the weekend. I think three chapters a weekend will probably be my pattern, since I have more time on the weekends to write than during the week. As always, thanks for the reviews and I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I fell into a deep sleep thinking about Adrian's eyes and how they regarded me. It was a blissful sleep without any conflict. My mind just let me enjoy the way he made me feel without any questioning._

Chapter 6

When morning came, I felt completely refreshed. That had probably been the best night's sleep I had had in a long time. I got ready for the day without a care in the world. Even my black eye didn't bring me down.

Of course, as soon as I got to ancient history and saw Trey sitting up at the front, my mood changed. Sitting next to Eddie, I tried to avoid eye contact with Trey, trying to buy as much time as possible before facing our awkward moment from the other day.

It didn't look like Trey was going to be deterred by this. "Hey Melbourne, wait up!" he called after me as I tried to retreat from the class when the bell rang.

I briefly considered acting as if I didn't hear him, but decided that might be a bit obvious, so I turned and waited as he caught up. As usual, Eddie continued on without me. I almost wished Eddie had felt the need to protect me on occasion, because I surely needed protection from myself at this point.

I smiled at Trey, hoping that he would start the conversation, because I was not sure what I should say at this point. Luckily, he did start the conversation.

"So, are we still on for this afternoon in the lab?" he asked.

That was right. I had almost forgotten how we were supposed to double-check our results later today. "Sure," I replied trying to stay as neutral as I could and still somewhat avoid eye contact. Of course, by avoiding eye contact, I wasn't able to see how he was looking at me.

"Okay." His voice sounded as if he was wondering what he had done to make me not look at him. I couldn't help it, I glanced over at him as we walked to AP Chemistry and the look on his face was as if he was mulling something over. He didn't seem to notice me look, so I immediately went back to avoiding eye contact.

We didn't really speak to each other during class and I was beginning to think that I had overreacted to what happened the other day.

During PE, I think I took my frustrations out on everyone on the volleyball court. I started to think that sparring with Angeline would have been a good use of my energy at this point. I just didn't understand why I was so uncomfortable around Trey. Clearly, the other day did not have that affect on him.

As I was spiking balls and making saves, Miss Carson reminded me that the winter sports would be starting in a month and I should consider going out for volleyball. As usual, I politely told her that I would consider it.

By the end of my classes, I just needed to relax. I decided to take a walk across the campuses and try to forget all of my feelings. This didn't really work considering the football team was having a practice at that moment.

Trey was out on the field and I could tell that he was not paying attention to anything except what was happening on the field, so I decided to sit down and watch. I really had nothing else to do, considering I was almost done with the book from Ms. Terwilliger. Besides, maybe watching him would help me sort out my feelings.

As I watched him, I had that same feeling of attraction to him as I had the last time I saw him practicing. He was in great shape and seemed to be skilled in the sport, not that I knew much about football. As I watched the practice progress, I found myself cringing if it looked like Trey was getting hurt and silently cheering when he seemed to come out on top. I thought that I was starting to get the hang of what was going on out on the field.

When practice ended, I was still sitting outside the fence watching. Trey had taken his jersey off as he went over to the bench to get some water. That was when I saw it, the infamous tattoo that he never seemed to want to talk about. It was exactly as Eddie had described, like a multi-rayed sun, located on his lower back.

Again, I guess Trey was able to sense that someone was staring at him and he turned around. This time I don't think there was anyway to avoid the blush that heated my cheeks. Not only was I staring, but also I was alone with no one to blame my presence on. He smiled at me. I was worried that he might come over, but instead he grabbed his jersey throwing it back on and jogged off to the locker room. I almost got the impression that he was covering his tattoo up before I could see it again.

Well, it didn't seem like watching Trey had helped me sort out my feelings at all, because now I was even more confused. This really should not be hard. I was not going to get involved with anyone because of, well, every reason that I had ever come up with before. Of course, I could not seem to come up with any of them now.

I got up, frustrated by my traitorous thoughts, and headed off to the library. Kristin and Julia were there using one of the computers to look at upcoming fashion trends. I decided that some mindless girl time was exactly what I needed, so I joined them.

I didn't pay much attention to what they had to say and kept looking at the clock waiting until it would be time to head to the lab to finish the Chemistry project. Not being able to sit through any more outfits, I excused myself and decided just to wait at the lab until Trey got there.

There was a group using the lab when I got there, so I sat down out in the hall waiting for them to be done. I pulled out Ms. Terwilliger's stuff and started up my laptop. I figured that I might as well use this time to complete the book that had become the bane of my existence.

By the time Trey showed up, I had just put the finishing touches on my research and was shutting my computer down. He stopped in front of me and offered his hand to help me up off the floor. I took his hand without thinking about it, but after I was standing, I couldn't help but notice that he hadn't let go. He was looking down at me and I felt that familiar blush, so I instantly looked away releasing his hand and gathered my stuff up from the floor.

As I walked in to the lab with Trey following behind me, I tried to mentally talk myself down. I needed to put a lid on these feelings. There was no way I would allow myself to feel this way about anyone. I just could not afford this kind of distraction in my life.

As we double-checked our results, I kept our conversation strictly Chemistry related. Trey didn't attempt to talk about anything else, which I was extremely grateful for. When we were done, he noticed the book Ms. Terwilliger had given me and picked it up.

"Is this what you have been doing for Ms. Terwilliger?" Trey asked. It was the first time anything other than our lab project had been mentioned and at least it seemed to be a safe enough topic.

"Yes, she has me translating all of these ridiculous spells for her research," I said with an attitude that clearly showed how unimportant I felt they were, but I noticed interest cross Trey's face.

What he asked next took me completely by surprise, "Do they work?"

"Huh." Well, it was definitely not my most astute answer, but it was all I could come up with at the moment. Trey hadn't noticed the look I was giving him. He was still flipping through the book. Not even looking up to see my reaction, he repeated his question.

Deciding I needed a better answer, I went with a standard Alchemist response. "Of course, they don't work. There is no such thing as magic in the real world."

Well, that got his attention. "How can you possibly believe that there isn't magic in the world?" he asked as he looked up at me with a look as if I had offended him.

Okay, this discussion was taking a seriously different turn from what I had been originally worried about discussing. I almost would have given anything to talk about my earlier concerns of how he made me feel when he caught me staring at him.

Once again, I answered with an old Alchemist standby. "Because magic is not natural and anything that would try to create magic is not natural either."

Anger seemed to glint in his eyes. He was no longer looking at the book, but it was open to a page that I didn't know how I missed before. That very same tattoo that I had seen on Trey's back was pictured on the page. He didn't seem to notice that I hadn't been looking at him, but instead was trying to find something to say to me.

When I looked back into his eyes, I flinched back. There was so much anger and hurt hidden in them. Before slamming the book and storming out of the lab he said, "You've got a lot of nerve talking about magic being unnatural."

Just like that, I was left standing by the lab table, staring out the door that he had left through, trying to figure out what in the hell had just happened. I reached for the book trying to find that page again. Once I found it and read what it said, I knew exactly what had happened. I grabbed my stuff and went to find Ms. Terwilliger.

Back in her office, I stormed in slamming the door behind me. I know I am not normally the swearing type, but I could not contain myself after what had happened with Trey.

"What in the hell are you trying to do?" I shouted as I slammed the dusty old book down on her desk opened to the page with the multi-rayed sun. She looked up at me in her calm manner that I had really gotten tired of seeing.

With a slight smile on her lips she replied with a question of her own, "Why Miss Melrose whatever do you mean?" At that moment, punching her had actually crossed my mind, but I knew it would be the wrong thing to do.

"It is all right there," I pointed angrily at the book. "You knew what Trey was when you decided that he would be your aid, just like you had your suspicions about me when you agreed to let me assist you with your research." My anger had still not dampened, but I had stopped shouting.

She still looked at me in her level and calm way as she responded, "And your point is?"

Now, I was really amazed that I hadn't swung yet. I was beginning to think that the hit first, ask questions later approach that I had known Rose used, was the best plan of action right now. I guess my look of incredulity spurred her to add more to her response.

"You already knew what my interest in you was. You also knew that I was well aware of the hidden happenings in the world. Therefore, yes, I knew about Trey as well, but if you recall I agreed not to speak with you about these matters unless you approached me. It would also not be my place to speak about someone else to you," she said loftily.

"Well, it certainly seems that you have talked to him about me," I retorted still angry at her calm state.

"Whatever do you mean?" she asked, but I could tell by the look on her face she meant it.

I recalled Trey's comment about me having some nerve, but I didn't really want to go into the specifics of our confrontation so I simply said, "Trey seemed to imply that I would know something about magic."

"Oh, well, that could be because your world isn't as hidden from his world."

"What does that mean?" I was slowly beginning to calm down. I needed to have a level head if I was ever going to be able to sort this out.

"Well, in his world, your kind," she tapped her cheek on the side that my tattoo would be on, "exist and communicate with his kind. At least the upper ranks of your kind do. I am sure that the lower ranks, like you, don't have any knowledge of this."

"So are you trying to tell me that he is really a sorcerer?" my look of incredulity I think was back on my face.

"Yes, just as you are a witch," she answered simply.

"I am not, not that. I am human. Humans do not do magic. You're crazy!" I had a sudden feeling of déjà vu. This was almost exactly, what I had said to her the first time she mentioned her feelings regarding me and just as before she replied with almost the same response.

"So much denial for such a good scientist. Such a waste of talent."

I turned and left. I didn't feel the need to remind her not to bring up her crazy theories again, because I was fairly certain she wouldn't until I stormed in her office again demanding answers.

I wandered outside for a while trying to comprehend what she had just told me. I found a quiet spot under a tree near the track and sat down. After I sat down, I realized it was the same spot that I had sat at to watch Trey practice.

I started up my laptop and scrolled down through the spells that I had translated. When I got past the part about them being spells, I noticed that they were very similar to science experiments. Accept for the occasional odd ingredient or instruction, there really wasn't much difference. This got me thinking about the formulas we used to create chemicals. I had always thought they were based on science, but were they really. I mean, was it really possible to use science to disintegrate a Strigoi body or was it more like magic.

My mind was reeling with this revelation. Could it be that Alchemists really used magic to accomplish what we did and not science? I had never questioned what I had been taught before, but now I was beginning to question everything. How could I have been told magic was wrong, when that was exactly what I had been doing?

I had so many questions swirling through my head that I didn't notice right away that someone had joined me. It was Trey. He could see what I was looking at on my laptop, but he didn't say a word. Instead, he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards him. I rested my head on his chest trying to take the comfort that he offered.

We sat like that for several moments as I tried to get my breathing under control. I hadn't realized until he held me that I had been on the verge of a breakdown and was slightly hyperventilating. Once I felt that I would be able to speak, I pulled away to look at him.

He spoke first, "Sorry."

It was simple and to the point, but I could see that in that one word it held so much emotion. He reached up and touched my cheek, the one with the tattoo, and stroked it.

"When I first saw your tattoo, I assumed it was one of those Nevermore creations. It wasn't until later that I found out it was the sign of the Alchemists." I flinched as he said that, not wanting to acknowledge that he was correct. It didn't matter, because he continued anyway. "I had always been told that we worked together, sorcerers and Alchemists, but I had forgotten that those teachings had been lost to the younger generations of the Alchemists. I never meant to offend you and I know you didn't know you were offending me. Please forgive me."

Looking into his eyes, I knew that he meant every word and it scared me to realize that he might know more about the Alchemists than I did. The lily tattoo was created with a bit of compulsion to restrict us from speaking to anyone about us. Now, I was wondering if it was so we couldn't ask others about our secrets, because I found myself incapable of talking to him about this. The only words I could seem to get out were, "Yes, I forgive you."

What happened next took me completely by surprise. Trey leaned in and brought his lips to mine. It was so gentle the way our lips pressed together and my body warmed at his touch. It didn't last long and then he pulled back a little to look into my eyes. I'm not sure what he saw in them, but it seemed to make him smile slightly. "Thank you," he said and with that, he got up leaving me there to stare after him as he walked away.

If I thought, I had been confused before, well it was nothing compared to now. With everything I had just learned about the Alchemists and the fact that Trey seemed to know more about me than I did, well the last thing I wanted to add to that was him kissing me.

I noticed it was getting late, so I headed back to my room. Maybe sleep would help me come up with a plan for tomorrow, because I definitely needed to get some answers. I laid in bed mentally making a list of all the things I needed to figure out, Trey's kiss heading up the list. I smiled to myself as I dosed off thinking about how I really needed to get my priorities straight.

**Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: This chapter is not as long as prior ones, but I felt like it was a good place to end the chapter. As always, thanks for the reviews and I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I laid in bed mentally making a list of all the things I needed to figure out, Trey's kiss heading up the list. I smiled to myself as I dosed off thinking about how I really needed to get my priorities straight._

Chapter 7

When morning came, I was still not any closer to having a plan. There were just too many questions and I wasn't sure where to start. In addition, Trey's kiss was still weighing on my mind.

The school day seemed to pass in a blur as my mind remained on all of the questions from the prior day. Trey did not bring up the kiss or what we had discussed yesterday, but he hadn't forgotten to remind me about the football game that evening. I assured him that I would see him there, but I was already planning not to attend.

As soon as classes ended for the day, I found Eddie and told him that I was going to head over to Sonya's for a meeting. I knew that Eddie and the gang had planned to attend the football game that evening, so I asked if Eddie would let Trey know that something came up and I wasn't able to attend. I think Eddie knew that I wanted to avoid Trey, even if he didn't know why, so he agreed to let him know.

I hurried off to Latte, but once sitting behind the wheel, I wasn't sure where I wanted to go. I knew that Sonya would be meeting with Adrian today, but I really hadn't planned on attending. I merely was using it as an excuse to get my thoughts in order, but now I realized that I didn't have anywhere to go.

I decided that I might as well head over to Sonya's. Maybe being there as they talked about magic would help me sort out my own magical dilemma.

When I arrived at the apartment, Dimitri answered the door.

"Sydney, it is good to see you. I didn't realize you planned to come over today," Dimitri said pleasantly.

"Neither did I," I replied. This earned me an odd look from him. "I know that Adrian is meeting with Sonya today, so I thought I would see if any new discoveries had been made. Is he here?" I asked. Through all of my thoughts and questions, for some reason I felt that seeing Adrian would help me.

Dimitri had stepped back so that I could enter. "No, he hasn't come by yet. I think his class ends late on Fridays." I'd forgotten that Adrian would have anything to do, other than wait around to attend these meetings. I started to wonder about what else Adrian did with his time.

Sonya breezed into the room at that moment. "Why hello my dear. I wasn't expecting to see you today, but I am glad you came. We needed to speak to you about something, but I know that Adrian wanted to be here for this. He should be here any minute. Have a seat. Would you like anything to drink?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine," I replied, although I really wasn't sure if I was. I could not fathom what they would want to ask of me. Especially, if Adrian felt that he would need to be present for it. It looked like I wouldn't have long to wait though, because just a few moments later there was a knock at the door.

"Good, Adrian is here," said Sonya before Dimitri even answered the door. I knew that spirit users could sense each other, but it was still a little eerie.

When Adrian came in, his face seemed to brighten when he saw mine. I couldn't help but smile when I saw him as well.

"What are you doing here Sage? Didn't get enough of me the other day?" Adrian said with his usual flirtatious charm. The only problem was that I didn't know what I was doing here or why seeing him had seemed like a good idea.

I brushed those feelings off and replied playfully, "Well, I'm sure according to you, no one can ever get enough of you." This earned me an even wider smile from him and what looked like a humorous head shake from Dimitri.

Then just like that, the mood took a turn for the worse. Sonya broke our banter with a simple statement that instantly removed the delight from Adrian's face.

"Adrian, I figured that we would speak to Sydney about her blood, since she stopped by."

I think the smile had faded from my face as well with that statement. "What about my blood?" I asked trying to mask the fear that crept up from vampires discussing my blood. I wasn't sure that being here was such a good idea anymore.

Before Sonya could say anymore, Adrian looked at Sonya and said, "May I speak with you in the kitchen?" Adrian didn't wait for a response before he left the room and Sonya followed him. I remained on the couch, but my nerves were screaming for me to get up and leave. I had no idea what Sonya had wanted to ask, but Adrian's reaction had been enough to put me on edge.

I looked over at Dimitri who had sat down at the other end of the couch. "Um, should I be worried?" I asked him. I wasn't sure if he would tell me or not, but I had felt like we had built some kind of rapport during the time that I had helped with Rose's escape.

"I don't think there is anything to worry about. I am not sure what they want to ask you. Honestly, I try to stay out here while they conduct their research unless they need me. I don't like to make Adrian uncomfortable," he replied. I knew that Dimitri still felt bad about what had happened between Rose and Adrian and I was glad to hear how considerate he was of Adrian's feelings.

After that, we sat in silence. I wasn't able to hear what they were discussing. At least, that was until I heard Adrian raise his voice.

"We can't ask her this," he said rather loudly. I couldn't hear Sonya's response, but when they returned to the room, I had a feeling that Adrian hadn't won. He wouldn't even meet my eyes. My nervousness that had somewhat subsided while sitting with Dimitri, had now returned.

"Sydney," Sonya started, "we were going over how you had reported about Lee and the other Strigoi's reaction to your blood and we were wondering if we could test a theory. We already know from your experience that there is something about your blood that would make a Strigoi and a Moroi that had once been Strigoi not want to drink it, but we were wondering if it would have the same affect on a Moroi who had never been Strigoi."

I was still trying to wrap my mind around what she was saying. Adrian was still not looking at me. "What are you asking exactly? The Alchemists had my blood tested and found nothing out of the ordinary, just like they could not find anything out of the ordinary about Lee."

"Yes, we have those results, but that is not exactly what we are looking for. We were thinking more along the lines of a more practical way of testing it by taste."

My blood ran cold at that answer. Running for the door was becoming more of an option. How could I have trusted these vampires? Adrian was still not looking at me. I think Sonya could see that she had stunned me. She quickly added to her statement, as if she could say anything to make it better. "I don't mean feeding from you, I just was wondering if you would be willing to give us a sample of your blood."

That still did not make what she asked any better. I finally found my voice. "You want me to give you a sample of my blood, so that you can drink it," I said incredulously.

"Well, not me. We already know what the reaction would be for me. It would be so that Adrian, being just a Moroi, could see if he has the same reaction to it," said Sonya. Now I knew exactly why Adrian wouldn't look at me. I felt like the room was closing in on me and as the walls came closer, so did the vampires. I needed to get out of there.

Dimitri, who had remained quiet through our discussion, finally spoke. "Maybe we should give Sydney a chance to think about what you are asking of her, before she gives an answer." I was glad for his input, not that I needed to think about anything. At least, his comment might give me a chance to escape.

Adrian still wouldn't look at me. Calmly I stood, hoping that my legs would not give out on me. I felt the panic attack rising, but I managed to make it to the door.

"I really have to be going," I said. "I will let you know." I left the apartment building as fast as my legs would take me. Standing by Latte, I leaned forward against her and tried to catch my breath. Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped and gasped at the sudden contact. Visions of vampires closing in swam in my head. Without turning around, I knew who it was. Adrian, who could not even look at me while they asked to drink my blood, was now touching me and standing so close.

"You have to know that I didn't want to ask you," he said in a voice that sounded full of regret. "When we had discussed testing your blood, I assumed we would request a sample from the Alchemists. I never thought that Sonya would consider just asking you."

I didn't know what to say. I still had not regained my composure and I wasn't sure I would be able to with him so close. I never feared Adrian, really. He was the least terrifying vampire ever. However, when we were back in that apartment, I couldn't help but fear him.

"Please let me go." It came out as a whisper, but I knew he heard me. I felt his hand release my shoulder. I also felt as the warmth of his body moved back from mine. As quickly as I could, I got in my car, started it, and drove away. I saw Adrian standing on the curb in my rearview mirror. He was looking at the ground with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I almost felt sorry about my abrupt departure, but I couldn't go back, not now.

As I drove around, I realized that I really did not have anywhere to go. I couldn't go back to the school, for fear of running into Trey. I couldn't go back to Sonya's, well, for simple fear. I decided that I would go to Spencer's for a cup of coffee. I figured that Trey wouldn't be working before a game and when I went in to order my coffee, I found that I was right.

With my coffee in hand, I found a quiet table in the back and sat down with my laptop. I decided that I might as well drown my fears with caffeine and research. I logged into the Alchemists' site and started searching the history of the Alchemists. I was hoping that there would be some record of us working with sorcerers or humans that performed magic. Of course, I found nothing. I should have guessed that they would not keep records like that where every Alchemist could get to it.

It was getting late and I was growing tired. At one point, I had thought about hacking in to the system to find a higher up Alchemist's passwords. Maybe that would give me the access I needed, if the records did exist. I dismissed the thought, though, because I just could not imagine betraying the Alchemists like that. I was always so sure, where my loyalty lied, but should I be loyal to a group that might have been lying to me all along.

These thoughts just caused more confusion, so instead I started looking at the spells I had been translating. Some of them looked harmless enough and a lot of them seemed designed to produce the same results as many of the elements that the Moroi could wield. Was I really that different from them?

Thinking of Moroi brought back the sight of Adrian standing on the curb as I sped away. I had told him that I never wanted to see him hurt, yet I had done it again. The guilt from the way I had left things with him was getting to me. I was ashamed for even thinking that he would hurt me.

I packed up my laptop, tossed my coffee, and headed out. I had planned to return to the school, since it was past curfew, but instead I found myself heading to Adrian's place. I felt so consumed by my feelings that I didn't even realize where I was going until I got there.

It looked like a lamp was on inside and the television lights flickered against the wall. I decided that he was probably still up, so I knocked.

When Adrian answered the door, he was dressed in lounge pants and was not wearing a shirt. My earlier impression of him being like a sculpted piece of art came back to me. His hair was styled in its artfully messy way, but it looked a little more messed up than usual. I realized that I was staring at him and he had not spoken yet.

"Um, did I wake you?" I asked.

"I'm always awake for you Sage," he replied with a slight smile, but it did not reach his eyes.

He didn't invite me in, so I had to ask. "May I come in?"

He moved back to the couch and left the door open in way of response. I followed him in and shut the door behind me, wondering if maybe I had made the wrong decision by coming over to see him.

We sat on his couch in silence for several minutes. He stared blankly at the television and I kept looking down at my hands. Whenever we had had awkward moments in the past, they were usually because of the feelings he was stirring inside me, but this was different. He seemed different.

He finally broke the silence, but when he spoke, he sounded different, as well. I couldn't tell if it was hurt or anger. "What are you doing here Sage?"

I decided that honesty would work best here. "Well, I'm not really sure. I had really wanted to see you earlier and then, well, you know what happened. I just needed to see if you were okay."

He didn't reply. He just continued to stare at the television. I started feeling hurt by this. I just needed to see that he was okay and he wouldn't look at me. I started to remember how he had averted his eyes from me at Sonya's earlier. Was he avoiding my eyes now because I hurt him or because he had hurt me?

What I said next surprised even me because of the pleading tone that I used. "Please look at me."

He winced a little from the way that I said it, but he still didn't turn. If I thought begging for a vampire to look at me had surprised me, then my next action caught me completely off guard. I reached up and touched his cheek. It was as if my body had a mind of its own. Adrian took a deep breath and closed his eyes. I left my hand cupping his cheek, feeling how warm his skin was.

Adrian finally spoke, but his eyes stayed closed. "I can't. I'm afraid of what I might see."

My breath caught in my throat and I felt tears threaten my eyes. Then I broke. I had taken my hand back to bury my face in them. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It is just that everything, everything is just too much," I got out between sobs. I felt like I had been apologizing a lot lately. All of the pressures that had been weighing on me came crashing in. I couldn't stop crying.

I felt his arms go around me as he pulled me to his chest. It was warm, just as his face had been. I buried my face against it, trying to calm down, but I couldn't. Adrian was stroking my hair whispering nonsensical words against my head as he tried to comfort me. If my mind had been screaming at me for allowing this contact, I was not able to hear it over the rest of the chaos in my head. Eventually, my sobbing gave way to exhaustion and I fell asleep in his arms.

**Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Thanks again for the reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Eventually, my sobbing gave way to exhaustion and I fell asleep in his arms._

Chapter 8

When morning came, I awoke with a headache from all of the crying that I had done last night. That was when last night came back to me. I realized that Adrian still had his arms around me and that he must have pulled us up on the couch in a laying position, so that I was lying on top of him.

I leaned up carefully, trying not to wake him. As I did, I took in his features. His face looked so peaceful while he slept and his lips seemed to have a smile on them. I couldn't help myself, having never been so close to a vampire before, I reached up and touched his cheek while I ran my thumb across his lips. He felt so warm to my touch.

He stirred a little, but didn't wake, so I rested my head back on his chest. I listened to him breathing and his heartbeat. I ran my hand over his chest. It was warm and smooth. He wasn't overly muscular, but he was well toned.

Next, I ran my hand from his shoulder down his arm. His arms weren't as big as Trey's were, but I could feel the muscles that were flexed as he held me. Comparing him to Trey made my earlier thoughts of whether we were really that different come back.

I was having trouble seeing the difference being this close to him. Moroi and dhampirs had to breathe and had hearts that beat. They were also warm to the touch. They had feelings that could be hurt just like humans.

That is, of course, when the biggest difference between us popped into my head. Blood. Moroi needed blood to survive. Thinking about blood brought back what Sonya had asked of me. Lying there with Adrian, I realized that I needed to know. If Adrian couldn't drink my blood either, then I would never need to fear being around him, at least not for that reason.

While I was lost in my thoughts, I realized that I still had my hand on his arm and I felt as his arm moved, tightening around me. He was starting to wake up, but I didn't want to move yet. I felt safe in his arms, even with the nagging blood question in the back of my mind. I tried lying still to see if he would notice whether I was awake.

"Sage?" He said it in a whisper as if he did not want me to answer, so I decided not to. I just buried myself closer to him hoping he would think I was still asleep. He didn't say anything else and I started to drift off again.

This time when I woke, I could feel Adrian stroking my hair. It was a gentle soothing gesture and I realized that I no longer had a headache. Whether the additional sleep or Adrian, had fixed my headache, I wasn't sure, but I decided not to dwell on it.

I lifted my head from his chest to look into his eyes. They were beautiful as always and I felt trapped in that gaze. He didn't break the gaze, but what he said when he spoke made me wonder about why I was not able to look away.

"I know you are not able to wield compulsion like a vampire, but whenever I look into your eyes I feel like I am unable to look away. As if I would do anything you asked."

I couldn't help myself when I asked what I did next. "Are you making me feel the way that I do when I look at you?"

He didn't take offense to the comment. He just simply replied, "I believe it is I that am under a spell when I look at you."

With that, I rested my head back against his chest as I listened to his heartbeat. His mentioning of being under a spell brought back my magical dilemma. I decided it was time for me to start getting answers.

With great reluctance, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Once in front of a mirror, I took in my appearance. Even with Adrian stroking my hair, it was still a mess and sticking up everywhere. I found a comb by the sink and used it to try to put some semblance back to my hair. My face was blotchy from having cried so much last night and my black eye was still visible. I knew that there was not anything that I would be able to do for my face, so I washed up, smoothed my clothes down, and headed back out into the living room.

While I had been in the bathroom, Adrian had put a shirt on. I was glad he had the foresight to do that, because I was not sure if I would be able to concentrate otherwise. I found myself longing for the closeness that I had felt as we slept last night.

I put on my professional face and decided to jump right in. "When you said that I put you under a spell, did you mean it?" It was an odd question, but I did not know how to approach the subject of magic with him. I was certain that his earlier comment was merely spirit induced rambling, rather than anything else, but I needed to know.

Concern crossed his face. "Why do you ask?" he replied. He was looking at me with that expression that he got when his attention was on my aura.

"I just wanted to know, how you can tell if magic is being performed or not. Can you see when someone wields magic? For example, when Jill calls upon water are you able to see that? Does something change in a person's aura?" I had so many questions, but none of them were what I really wanted to ask. I really wanted to know if Adrian could see whatever it was that Ms. Terwilliger had said she had seen in me.

"I guess," he said thoughtfully. "Yes, I can see a change in someone's aura when they perform magic, just like I can identify other spirit users by their aura. I would say that I am probably more in tuned to spirit and when it is being used I can tend to sense it from far away."

I could tell he still was wondering why I was asking. I decided that I needed to speak to someone about my concerns and Adrian was probably the only one who would be able to help me. "Do you see anything in my aura that would make you think that I could perform magic?"

I think Adrian thought that my line of questioning had been caused by his earlier comment about being under a spell, so he seemed to try to reassure me. "Listen, Sage, my comment. I didn't mean to make you think that I thought you performed magic. I know how you feel about it. I wasn't trying to offend you."

I held up my hand to stop him. I didn't want to hear why he had made the comment he did. I had a feeling that his reasons would cause other feelings to stir and right now, I needed to stay on track.

"That's not why I'm asking. Listen, a lot has happened over these past weeks and I haven't had anyone to speak with. I was hoping that maybe I could confide in you." After I said it, I almost couldn't believe I had. How could I be looking to confide in someone like him, but if I was truthful with myself, I think I had come to terms with him not being so different from me.

Clearly, by the look on his face, I could see that he wasn't sure why I would decide to confide in him. If he had asked me, I don't think I would have been able to tell him when things changed for me. Maybe, it was after he held me last night when I had nowhere else to go, but I had a feeling that things had started changing between us long before that.

In response to his silence I simply said, "Okay, you were right." I paused for dramatic effect. "You are okay for a vampire." A smile crossed Adrian's face as I could see his serious mood lift.

"Well, Sage, I thought you said I would have a hard time getting an Alchemist to admit that," he said playfully. "It looks like my moments of brilliance have finally paid off."

Trying to get back on track now that Adrian's mood had lifted, I pressed on. "Well, I'm just asking for some more of your brilliance now. When you look at my aura do you see magic?"

"Looking at you is always a magical experience," he quipped, but then he turned serious. "What kind of magic are you talking about?"

I decided it was now or never, so I recapped all of my research work that I had done for Ms. Terwilliger including the incineration amulet that I had used on Dawn when she was drinking from Adrian. I included how Ms. Terwilliger had sensed a natural talent about me. I ended my story with Trey and the revelation of Alchemists working with sorcerers.

Adrian stayed quiet during my whole story. We had sat back down on the couch, while I had told him my troubles. He studied me thoughtfully and I wasn't sure if he was trying to see what Ms. Terwilliger had said or not. I didn't look into his eyes, for fear that I might see my thoughts of how crazy this all was, reflected back at me.

We sat in silence for what seemed like forever and I stared at my hands. Finally, Adrian took my hand and I looked up. His eyes only showed concern. When he spoke, it was in a reassuring tone. "Sage, I have seen a lot of unbelievable things within this past year. I have no reason not to believe everything that you have said, but if it is true then it seems like you have many things you need to find the answers to."

I stayed silent. Adrian was right. If all of this was true, then I would need answers. It was just the way I was. I just wasn't sure where I was going to get them.

"To answer your earlier question, no I don't see anything about your aura to suggest that you possess magic, but that doesn't mean that you don't. As I said before, I'm not as in tuned to other types of magic, as I am with spirit."

I knew Adrian was trying to be comforting, but right then, what I really wanted was answers, not comfort. Deciding that I wouldn't be able to get any answers about magic at the moment, I moved to a topic that I knew I could get an answer on now.

"About what Sonya wanted to do," I said. Adrian noticeably stiffened to this change in topic. I knew he regretted what had happened and I didn't want him to think that I was going to lash out at him again. I noticed that Adrian was still holding my hand, so I gave it a light squeeze hoping to reassure him that I wasn't going to go off on him again.

"I've decided that I want to help. I want to let you drink my blood." He looked at me with shock on his face and I realized that I hadn't completely clarified my statement. "I don't mean feed from me. I mean I am willing to give you a sample." I paused before finishing. "I need to know if you will have the same reaction to my blood." Also, so I will know if I can feel safe with you, I added to myself. I think deep down I knew it wouldn't have mattered either way, because I already felt safe with him.

I could see him visibly relax at my clarification. I was not sure if the thought of feeding from me had turned him off, but I was glad that he was no longer tense worrying about how I was going to react to Sonya's request.

"So, how do I go about giving you my blood?" I asked.

Well, that seemed to bring back his earlier surprise. "You mean right now," he said.

"Yes, now. I need to get answers to something, Adrian, and this seems to be the only question I will be able to answer quickly. Besides, once you have this answer, you will be able to proceed with your research. It is a win, win," I tried to say lightly.

He still seemed weary of my light tone. I tried to make a joke. "I just really want this to be over and if I am going to have to spill my blood, the fewer vampires in the room, the better," I smiled.

"I'm not exactly a doctor or anything. I don't really know how to draw your blood," he said, still unsure.

"Couldn't I just prick my finger and squeeze some blood into a glass," I said with a grimace. I didn't like the idea of cutting myself, but it seemed like a good alternative. "I mean, if you are going to have a reaction to my blood it is going to be fairly instant. Lee knew right away that it tasted wrong." Remembering Lee's perverse kiss on my neck made me shiver. From the way he was watching me, I think Adrian was remembering that moment as well.

I stood and went to the kitchen before he could say anything. I retrieved a knife and glass and brought them back into the living room. Sitting beside Adrian I pricked my finger with the knife and squeezed several drops into the glass. Adrian seemed troubled as he watched me.

Trying to lighten the mood, I handed him the glass and said, "O positive, your favorite, remember?"

He smiled and took the glass as his eyes met mine. "How could I forget, but to tell you the truth I prefer my blood directly from the tap." He said it jokingly, but I wasn't sure if there was a hint of truth in that statement.

He proceeded to tilt the glass and I looked away. My resolve to stay strong had faltered with the thought of watching him actually drink my blood. Then I heard him cough.

"Ugh. That is just wrong." I looked up to see Adrian cringing. "I don't think you ever have to worry about becoming a feeder, Sage. They wouldn't take you." I knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but clearly, my blood was something he did not want to taste again. He got up and went to the kitchen where I heard him get himself a drink of water.

The relief that I felt was great, but I still wasn't sure that this test regarding Alchemist blood was complete. If I was different like Ms. Terwilliger thought, then maybe that was what made my blood taste wrong and not the fact that I was an Alchemist. If we had a sample from another Alchemist, then we could be sure.

When Adrian returned to the living room, I explained my theory. He agreed that it would be worth getting a sample from a different Alchemist to run the experiment on. He seemed happy to see me focusing on something other than my earlier breakdown over magic and indulged all of my thoughts regarding testing my hypothesis.

If I was right, and it really was Alchemist blood that caused this reaction, there could only be one reason for it. Our tattoos. They were created with a special chemical compound of four liquids and a powder. They were always combined in a ceremonial way by a hierophant, our priest, but now I was wondering if the ritual was more like a spell and maybe the hierophant was really a sorcerer. Whether it was a spell or a chemical compound, the tattoos ink soaked into our skin and in turn soaked into our blood.

Excited about my revelation, I told Adrian I would make the necessary contact to the Alchemists to get a sample. I knew they wouldn't approve of vampires tasting their blood, but I was certain I could convince them that I needed it for a more scientific experiment and as long as I was the one handling it, I knew they would concede.

I caught sight of the clock and realized how late it was. Today was feeding day for Jill and I had not been back to the school the night before. "I think I am going to head back to Amberwood, so that I can get a shower and change. I'm sure Jill will be wondering where I am, since I'm supposed to take her to Clarence's for her feeding."

Adrian tapped his head. "You forget, she doesn't need to wonder what is going on when she can sense it or see it."

I had forgotten that. Had she seen everything that had happened between us earlier? I knew that they had not really learned how to control their bond. I think Adrian could sense my thoughts.

"Don't worry," he said reassuringly. "I have been practicing keeping her out, just like Lissa learned to do with Rose. I was the one that helped Lissa with that and I think I have picked it up rather quickly. Jailbait only catches what I want her to. Like she knows you're here, so she is not worried about you and she knows that we're okay."

I knew from Rose that Lissa and Adrian had worked on teaching each other their talents for spirit. I also, knew that they each had their strengths and seemed to excel at different tasks. Knowing that Adrian was the one able to walk dreams, I could see where this would be something that he would have excelled at, considering it seemed to be a mental skill.

That was when I realized that Adrian didn't seem to have his usual pained expression when he mentioned Rose. Maybe he was becoming that better person he had alluded to trying to be. I also realized that he hadn't taken a drink the entire time I was there and he didn't smell like cigarettes. This made me smile. I really was proud of who he was becoming.

He just smiled back at me. I'm sure he assumed that I was smiling because I didn't have to worry about Jill. I didn't inform him otherwise. As I left, I told him that I would be back for him before heading to Clarence's house.

**Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Here is my third chapter for the weekend. I actually have a four-day weekend, because the kids are out of school. I will try to get at least another chapter complete, before I take a break for the week. As always, I really appreciate the reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_As I left, I told him that I would be back for him before heading to Clarence's house._

Chapter 9

Back at Amberwood, I had to contend with Mrs. Weathers. She was angry, even though Eddie and Jill had already explained to her that I was with our 'older brother'. "The next time you see fit to stay out all night with your brother, you better make sure to contact me. Just because you are eighteen, does not mean that you are able to come and go as you please. There are procedures to follow and you can be grounded just as easily as your sister was, when she thought she was above the rules."

Seeing that Mrs. Weathers was serious, I apologized and promised that I would sign out and call if I was going to be late from now on. The last thing I needed was to be grounded like a child, when I had so much research to do.

I left for my room and got a quick shower. Before heading to find Jill, I called Stanton to request the Alchemist blood sample. I assured her that it was strictly to test scientifically and that I would be performing the experiments on the blood. I also, told her that any results that were found would be reported immediately. I was worried that she would be able to tell that I was lying about the experiment or reporting the results, but she approved the release of the sample and said that I should receive it shortly.

With that taken care of, I went to find Jill. Eddie, Jill, Angeline, and Micah were gathered in their usual spot working on fighting techniques. I hadn't thought about my black eye much, until that moment. It was fading fast, but it was still not gone. I hoped it would still save me from having Angeline insist on a rematch.

"Hey guys," I said as I came up to them. "We really need to get going or we are going to be late for church." Micah had become used to our odd religious habits and quickly left us, so that we could get going. I wondered sometimes if he was worried that we would try to convert him if he stayed around too long at those moments. Little did he know that the chances of that were highly unlikely.

As we walked to Latte, Jill asked if everything was okay with Adrian and me.

"Of course, why would you ask?" I said. I was concerned that maybe Adrian wasn't as good at keeping her out like he thought.

"No reason. I was just wondering why you guys were spending so much time together," she replied. I felt myself relax at that. I had not realized I had tensed up to her inquiry, but I could see it was clearly curiosity on her part and not any inside knowledge.

"We have just been going over some theories about spirit." I wasn't sure she believed me. "Really, he just likes having someone not directly involved in the research to bounce his theories off of." I also, wasn't sure how many more times I could use my helpfulness as an excuse for being alone with Adrian. I was certainly beginning to question all the time I was spending alone with him.

We picked up Adrian and Jill didn't bother to question him about last night. I didn't know if it was because she believed me or if she already knew I was lying. When we arrived at Clarence's, Adrian offered to walk with me outside like usual.

"I contacted Stanton and she approved the blood sample request," I said, excited that our experiment would be able to move forward. "I figured, as soon as I receive it, we could meet over at Sonya's to test it. We would also need Sonya to taste the blood, if we are going to do the experiment correctly." I did not add that, technically, we would also need a Strigoi to taste it as well. I figured that as long as Adrian and Sonya gave the same reaction, we could assume it would be the same for a Strigoi.

Adrian smiled at my enthusiasm. "I don't think I have ever known anyone that enjoyed science so much," he mused. I wasn't able to take my eyes off his smile. It was so genuinely happy.

I decided to change the subject and take the attention off me. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable that I might say something I shouldn't. After last night, I wasn't sure I could trust myself to stay in control of my emotions when I was with him.

"So, I was wondering what you do in your spare time. I know that you go to your art classes and to Sonya's for research, but what else fills your day?" I asked, hoping he would roll with the subject change and I was curious about him anyway.

"Well, there really isn't much more to tell. I spend most of my free time on my art. I find the different periods of art just so fascinating," he said. Then he delved into topics regarding impressionism, humanism, and many other periods of art. Adrian was so animated as he discussed his views on art. He even bridged the gap to architecture, which I had a similar passion for.

We had been wandering around the grounds at Clarence's and completely lost track of time. It was Jill, who came out to see where we were. She found us discussing the colors of the gardens and how Adrian was certain he could paint something worthy of their beauty. I had a feeling he could as well, after seeing the painting he had done of me.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but it's getting late and I wouldn't want to miss curfew," she said. "Besides, Adrian, you haven't gone in yet to have a feeding." Adrian almost seemed embarrassed about Jill discussing him feeding in front of me.

"Yeah, you really should get going," I said as nonchalantly as I could. "I know how you prefer it from the tap and I don't think it would be wise to keep Dorothy waiting." I put on a smile, hoping that he would not think talking about feeding was making me uncomfortable.

"Okay," he said. "I promise not to be long." He seemed so concerned about my feelings.

"Don't worry about it. I'll just go back inside with Jill and see what the others are doing," I said with that smile still on my face.

Once we were in the living room, I found Angeline and Eddie watching a football game on television and discussing the finer points of tackling. Clarence was nowhere to be seen, so I assumed he must have retired to his room to let the young folk socialize. Adrian had already gone off to the kitchen to find Dorothy.

Jill and I sat down on the couch and watched, but I had a feeling that she had little interest in the game as well. I did notice her glancing at Eddie often as he spoke with Angeline. I was wondering if there weren't some feelings there that she might be suppressing like Eddie was.

While discussing the game on the television, Angeline turned the conversation to the football game they had seen last night at the school. I had forgotten about the game, but quickly tuned into their conversation as Angeline recapped the highlights. Many of them included Trey.

Adrian had joined us again at this point, but I had to admit that I was too wrapped up in Angeline discussing Trey's triumphs as quarterback to spare him a glance. Then Eddie said something that I wished he hadn't.

"I told Trey you couldn't make the game and he seemed pretty disappointed," he said almost amused by Trey's disappointment.

This perked Jill up, "Yeah, what is up with you two?" I hadn't thought she was one for gossip, but she was clearly interested in this. "Micah had said that he heard you two were spending a lot of time together."

"He has been walking her to classes," Eddie said to Jill.

I started getting defensive. "It was just a couple times and we were working on a chemistry project together."

Next Angeline spoke up, "That's not what I heard. Kristin and Julia mentioned that they saw you guys kissing the other night."

Well, there it was, the moment that I did not want to discuss. I knew my cheeks had heated at that, but it wasn't because of how the kiss had made me feel, but because I was embarrassed about discussing this with them. It was the one detail I had left out while talking to Adrian about Trey.

I looked over at Adrian, but his expression was blank. He was studying me again. Jill had a look of giddy surprise on her face and Eddie had a teasing smile on his, as well. Of course, Angeline's look was of complete disinterest and that really annoyed me. If she hadn't cared about what had happened, why did she feel the need to mention it?

"So, is it true?" Jill asked pleadingly. "Come on. You have to give details."

I had never been in a situation like this with friends and I didn't know what to say. I really did not like all the attention, but I knew I had to say something. I didn't see Jill letting this go.

"Well, he kissed me," I said. Jill started squealing like a little schoolgirl.

"Ooh. What was it like? How long did it last? Did he say anything afterwards?" Jill was going a mile a minute asking question after question. I noticed Adrian get up and leave the room. I wished I could have followed him. I felt trapped under all of Jill's excitement.

"Really, it was nothing Jill," I said clearly putting an end to any discussion. She didn't look happy about my lack of details and if I hadn't been so horrified about being the center of attention, I would have found it amusing.

Eddie clearly found it amusing and started poking at Jill about her reaction. He mimicked her squeal and got a lighthearted punch in the arm from her. I wasn't sure if they realized how flirtatious they were being with each other, but it was nice to watch them let their walls down for a little while.

"Okay guys. Are you done? I really think we should be getting back to Amberwood and I still need to drop Adrian off at his place," I interrupted.

"Fine, but next time something like that happens, you better come prepared with more details than that," Jill said. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't see any more situations like that in my future, so I simply agreed.

When we went outside to find Adrian and leave, he was already waiting by the car. I didn't understand his expression. He was back to avoiding eye contact with me.

It was close to curfew, so I decided to drop Jill, Eddie, and Angeline off first. That way I could tell Mrs. Weathers that I would be late, because I was taking my 'older brother' home. She wasn't happy about it, but since I was notifying her first, she couldn't find a reason to argue.

The silence seemed to consume the car as I drove back to Adrian's place. It was hard to believe that not that long ago we were discussing art and architecture with so much passion. Now, you could have heard a pin drop in the car.

When we got to his apartment, he just got out when I pulled up and didn't say a word to me. I did not like his silence, so I decided to follow him to the door. When he reached the door, he seemed surprised to see me behind him. I would have thought he could have heard me coming from a mile away with his vampire hearing.

When he spoke, it was in a harsh tone. "What do you want?"

I was surprised by his tone and I wasn't sure how to respond. He'd sparked some anger within me and I snapped back. "What is your problem?"

He just turned and shook his head as he went in. I followed behind him and shut the door. He threw his keys at the coffee table and went into the kitchen. I stood at the door, not sure what to do next. I was angry, but it wasn't like me to be this bold.

When he returned from the kitchen he had a glass of what could have been water, but I was pretty sure it was vodka. My anger overcame any fears I might have had about confronting him.

"What the hell is that?" I asked him incredulously as he sat down on the couch.

"What do you think? We can't all be saints like you, Sage." What I did next shocked me as much as it did him. I marched right over to him and smacked the glass out of his hand as he lifted it to take a drink. The alcohol splashed all over him and his couch.

The look he gave me would have normally made me flinch back, but I was too worked up to care. "What the hell was that for?" he shouted.

"The saint is saving you from yourself," I shouted back. "I can't believe I was actually proud of you earlier. You have not changed at all. When are you going to start taking charge of your life?"

"I am taking charge of my life and doing what I want to do. Now why don't you go run along back to your quarterback and see if he can help you with your little magical dilemma," he snapped back.

"What? He is not my quarterback. Wait. What does Trey have to do with this?" I was still angry, but I was rapidly growing confused.

Adrian had gotten up to go back to the kitchen, I'm sure to get a new drink. He had left the glass that I knocked out of his hand lying on the ground. While he was gone, I went to the bathroom grabbing a towel and started blotting the couch and carpet. I was angry, but I couldn't help but feel as if I needed to clean up the mess I had made.

Adrian returned with another glass in his hand, but this time it looked like water. "Just leave it, Sage. I think it is time for you to leave." He was calmer now, but I still did not understand what had gotten into him.

I sat down on the couch next to him. I was not going to let him off that easy. "No, I'm not going anywhere. Not until you tell me what I did," I said trying to remain calm.

He looked at me as if he could not believe that I did not know and then he shook his head and turned on the television. I just sat there, not sure of what to do next. I had been so determined to find out what happened a few minutes ago, but now I was starting to feel like I should just leave.

Determined not to let him have his way, I asked him again. "What does Trey have to do with this?" I gestured between us. He turned and looked into my eyes and that was when I saw it. There was a hint of jealousy in his emerald eyes.

Well, that was definitely not what I expected to see. This was another situation that I had certainly never thought I would be in and I did not know how to handle it at all. I felt like I needed to defend myself.

"Adrian, I said he kissed me."

Adrian had turned his attention back to the television as he said, "So."

"So, he kissed me. Not the other way around." I wasn't sure why I felt like I needed to defend this to him. I also, didn't understand why he was jealous. My feelings were all over the place.

He turned to me as he said, "And you think that makes a difference."

"Yes!" I was exasperated at this point.

"Why?" he asked. It was a simple question, but I couldn't come up with an answer. I didn't understand why his question was causing me so much emotion.

"Because," I said.

"That is not an answer," he said still looking deep into my eyes.

What I did next, was completely beyond any self-control I had. "Because this," and I pulled him towards me and kissed him. I wasn't sure what I was doing. Once again, my body had a mind of its own. I pressed my lips hard against his, nothing like the way Trey had kissed me. This kiss was full of need. I needed him to stop being jealous, because there was nothing to be jealous of.

At first, I think Adrian was in shock, but then he responded wrapping his arms around me as he moved his mouth with mine. All of my sensations were on high alert. My body felt on fire as I twined my hands in his hair. He ran his tongue along my lips and I parted them moaning into his mouth.

He pulled me onto his lap and I was straddling him. I pulled myself closer to him and he moaned. It was the most amazing sensation I had ever experienced. I wasn't sure how I was even still breathing, because I never wanted to come up for air again.

Unfortunately, we had to break our kiss finally for lack of oxygen. We were still so close, as we leaned our foreheads against each other. I could have drowned in those eyes. They were filled with so much desire and I was sure that mine mirrored his.

Our breathing was ragged and I couldn't stand the lack of contact. I leaned back in, but before our lips touched Adrian whispered, "Wait."

It caught me completely by surprise, but I moved back. We were further away this time, but I could still see the emotions warring in his eyes as he tried for self-control. "I don't think this is a good idea."

Just like that, my mind starting taking control again. I was still straddling him, but we were no longer inches apart. My mind was screaming at me about the contact that I had just allowed myself to have with a vampire.

I moved off him and as I put distance between us, I started to realize how close I had just been to him. How intimate I had just gotten with a vampire. It was not like before, when I had laid with him. This was different. My mind was screaming at me about how wrong it was, but my body still held that warmth that it had brought.

The worst part about all of it was that Adrian had been the one to stop it. He was the one to think that it wasn't a good idea. What did he mean by that? I thought that he was the one who had been jealous earlier, because of Trey.

He hadn't moved from his spot on the couch. He just watched me with those damned eyes that I knew were studying my aura. I couldn't take it anymore. I just got up and left without another word.

Once I was back in my room at Amberwood, I cried. I cried because of all of those emotions that I didn't understand, but most of all I cried for the rejection that I felt from Adrian.

**Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thank you for the lovely reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Once I was back in my room at Amberwood, I cried. I cried because of all of those emotions that I didn't understand, but most of all I cried for the rejection that I felt from Adrian._

Chapter 10

The next day was Sunday, so there was no real need to get up. I stayed in bed continuing to cry about the night before. I wasn't sure I would ever stop crying and I didn't think that I wanted to.

At one point, I'm pretty sure Jill stopped by and knocked, but I didn't answer. She apparently did not feel the need to come in, either.

By the end of the day, I was still in bed having never felt the need to leave it. I was no longer crying, but I was fairly certain it was because I had no tears left. I fell asleep exhausted, but calmer.

When morning came, having gotten so much rest the prior day, I was up early. Well, I guess it really wasn't rest, more like restlessness, that caused me to no longer stay in bed.

I had realized that I needed to move on from this. I had spent entirely too much time crying over something that I did not understand. It was not like I had ever wanted a relationship with Adrian, nor could I have one.

He was right to stop us. It wasn't a good idea. I kept repeating this to myself and my mind totally agreed, but my body was having problems with it.

Since it was early and I knew Jill would not be up yet, I headed out to the track. I sat in the same spot by the fence and watched as football practice commenced. I had thought about what Adrian had said, about Trey helping me with my magical dilemma. Even though I knew that Adrian had not meant it, I thought maybe he was right. Trey probably knew more about the Alchemists than I did and I didn't really have anywhere else to start.

Once again, Trey did not notice anything going on outside of the field. It gave me a chance to watch him and not have to feel guarded. As I watched, I thought about the kiss that he had given me. It had been unexpected, but nice at the same time.

I knew that a relationship was not a priority by any means, but knowing now what I did about Trey, it almost seemed possible. He was human and he knew about the Alchemists, so it wouldn't be like the secrets that I saw my family struggle to keep from each other.

I had not realized how much time had passed, while I was collecting my thoughts. At some point, practice had ended. Trey was sitting next to me in the grass and his hair was damp as if he had just come from a shower and not from the field. I noticed that he smelled good. I couldn't place the smell, whether it was shampoo or cologne, but it smelled right on him.

"So, Eddie had told me you weren't able to make the game on Friday," Trey said as if he was grasping for something to talk about.

"Yes, I'm sorry about that. I just had some family stuff come up," I replied. It was not a topic that I wanted to discuss and I hoped my tone showed it.

"You sure seem to have a lot of family stuff that doesn't seem to include the family that is here," he said. I guessed my excuse wasn't going to be enough.

"Trey, I think we both know what kind of 'family stuff' comes up in my life and you also know that I can not talk about it," I replied flatly.

He did not reply to that. I stared down at my hands hoping that he would find something else to talk about. Being reminded of the other day was not helping me cope with it and I certainly was not going to talk about it with him.

"I think we are late for class," he said next. Well, that was something that brought me out of my slump.

"Shit!" I swore. It wasn't like me to talk like that, but so many things weren't like me anymore. I started to get up, but he grabbed my hand stopping me.

"I don't think you have to worry about it. It is not like you are behind in Ms. Terwilliger's class and I think she will be fine without an aid for one day," he said with a smile. I think he was amused by my earlier response.

I settled back down next to him, mulling over what he said. I'm sure he was right that Ms. Terwilliger would be fine if we missed class. Especially, since she would probably assume we were collaborating on spells or something.

"Listen, about the other day," Trey started. My body became tense with concern that we would have to discuss the kiss, but when Trey continued, he didn't mention it. "I know it was a lot to take in regarding sorcerers, Alchemists, and magic, but I do think it is important that you understand what you are capable of."

Well, that made two of us, but the only problem was that I could not ask him questions about it. Damn vampire compulsion tattoo. Luckily, I didn't have to try.

Trey reached up and stroked my cheek where the tattoo was. "I know you are forbidden to talk about it, so maybe sometime we could get together and you could just listen." I was grateful that he understood, since I wouldn't be able to explain it.

I smiled at him. "That would be nice," I said. We were looking into each other's eyes and he still had his hand on my cheek. It wasn't the same feeling that I got when looking into Adrian's, but it was still nice.

He leaned in placing a gentle kiss on my lips again and this time I leaned into it, kissing him back. It didn't bring fire to my body like kissing Adrian, but it still warmed me. Just like our prior kiss, it didn't last long, but this time when he pulled away, we were both smiling at each other.

He put his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to his side and I leaned my head against his chest. It felt nice also, not the same as lying with Adrian, but nice. I listened to his heartbeat and his breathing along with the sounds of the nature around us.

He pulled me back slowly and we laid down in the grass under the tree I had been sitting near. He gently rubbed his thumb across my shoulder as I curled next to him with my head on his chest. All of my earlier tension had left and I felt at peace in that moment.

It wasn't an awkward silence, but I was wondering how we were going to go on from there. Trey thankfully spoke first, so that I didn't need to figure out what to say.

"So, I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out sometime and get a cup of coffee. You know, so we can talk or you can just listen or whatever…" he trailed off.

I had not thought that he would be nervous about asking me on a date, considering he had been the one to make the first move, but it was kind of cute. At least, I knew I wasn't the only one not sure of myself.

"Sure, that would be great. Um, after school today would be nice, you know, if you're free," I said. I was hoping I didn't sound too eager. I wasn't sure of the social customs when it came to dating.

Adrian had been right about me not being an expert in social matters. I am sure if he had heard our conversation, he would have found it hilarious being the party boy that he was. Of course, maybe he wouldn't have found it so funny, considering how he had reacted to Trey earlier.

I was still thinking about Adrian when Trey spoke. "I have practice right after school today. Our final game of the season is this Friday and the coach added more practices."

"Oh," I said. I wasn't sure what else to say.

"But, if you're free later this afternoon, we could, um, meet up and go to Spencer's," he said.

While he was asking about meeting up later, I came to the realization that I really needed to stop comparing Trey to Adrian. Trey was perfect. He was human, he knew about who I really was, and he seemed genuinely interested. I spoke with a little more confidence when I answered him.

"You know what. I really don't have anything to do later today, so why don't I come watch you at practice and then we can go out for that coffee." I was proud of myself. I did not stutter once when I responded. I decided that I truly did deserve a break from Ms. Terwilliger's insane research projects. Besides, it would just be nice spending time with someone who did not drive me crazy.

I listened to him breathe out as if he had been holding his breath waiting for my response. "That'd be great," he said with relief.

We heard the bell ring off in the distance to signify the change in classes. We sat up together and he stood first, offering his hand to help me up. After standing, I didn't let go of his hand. We walked to our chemistry class in silence, still holding hands.

During class, it was hard to concentrate with Trey sitting next to me. Every once in a while when our hands were idle, he would put his over mine. It was the simplest of gestures, but it still made me feel warm. When class ended, he walked me to PE and brushed a kiss against my forehead as he left.

Jill and Angeline were coming to class at the same moment he was leaving and I knew I would never escape Jill's questions this time.

"Okay, spill. There is no way you can tell me that that was nothing." Well, Jill certainly didn't waste any time. As we walked into the locker room, she continued to plead with me for details.

"Okay, okay," I said. "I'm not really sure what it is, but we are going for coffee later this afternoon after football practice."

Jill was bouncing with excitement. "So you're going on a date?" she squealed.

"I guess," I replied trying to act casual. I wasn't sure how big of a deal this really was. I did enjoy spending time with Trey and he did make me feel good when he kissed me, but I don't think I was even as excited as Jill was for me.

Jill kept her enthusiasm up throughout PE. Angeline thought she was being ridiculous and could have cared less about my date. What intrigued me most, though, was that throughout all of Jill's excitement over Trey, she never once asked what had happened the other day to keep me locked up in my room. I guessed that she did not want to dwell on whatever had been bothering me.

I was glad when PE was over and I was able to get away from Jill. Before I left, Miss Carson had me sign-up for volleyball tryouts. With the fall sports ending, the winter sports were going to be starting shortly after Thanksgiving. Tryouts were next week and whether I wanted to admit it or not, I liked volleyball.

When my classes ended for the day, I went and found Ms. Terwilliger in her usual spot at the library.

"I just wanted to let you know that I am going to take a break from research today," I said, leaving little room for discussion. I had lost my ability to show the normal respect that I should to a teacher, where she was concerned.

"I see," she said looking at me as if my tone was amusing. "Just like you felt you and Mr. Juarez should take a break from my class this morning."

Well, it wasn't as if I had expected her not to notice that her star pupil and her class aid had failed to show up, but I didn't like the tone she took when she mentioned it.

"We certainly weren't doing what you think we were doing, if that is what you are implying," I remarked. My statement was so vague and cryptic that I had trouble following it myself.

"I don't doubt. I wouldn't expect you to come around so easily to your gifts. I just hope that spending time with Mr. Juarez will at least open you up to the idea," she simply stated.

Something about her approving of me spending time with Trey rubbed me the wrong way. I felt the need to defend my views, even though I wasn't sure what they were anymore.

"I am not going to change how I feel, because of some boy. I am above that. Magic is still not natural and I will not partake in whatever it is that you want me to do." After I said it, I realized how childish it sounded. Trey was not just some boy and I knew it. I also wasn't even sure where I stood anymore regarding magic. I had just felt the need to let her know that she would not have any effect on changing my mind. It was irrational and stubborn.

"Clearly," she said. She didn't add to her comment. I think she knew it would only fuel my ridiculous arguments and they were just that, ridiculous. I was already doubting everything that I had been told by the Alchemists, by my own father. Whether I liked it or not, Ms. Terwilliger may very well be someone who could help me unravel the mysteries that I needed answers to, I was just not ready to swallow my pride yet, so I simply left after her comment.

I found my spot out under the tree near the track and sat waiting for practice to start. When the players ran out onto the field, I could see Trey looking for me. When our eyes met, he came jogging over to the fence. I had gotten up to meet him at the fence and had placed my fingers through the chain links. He placed his hand over mine on the fence and gave me a small smile.

"I'm glad you could make it. You didn't have any trouble getting out of your research, did you?" he asked.

I was not going to go into the gory details of my temper tantrum that I had thrown with Ms. Terwilliger, so I simply told him that she was fine with me skipping today.

The coach called the players to the center of the field and Trey jogged off, leaving me to settle back down under the tree.

I watched him during practice. He was so focused on the field. I do not think anything, including me, could have broken his concentration. It made me think back to Ms. Terwilliger's comments about what was needed for a human to perform magic. Trey definitely fit the disciplined part.

I managed to stay focused on practice enough this time to see it come to an end. Trey once again, took his jersey off as he headed to the sidelines to get some water. I admired his body as he moved. He didn't have the chiseled looks that Adrian did, but he was still rather nice to look at.

He didn't throw his jersey back on this time as he came jogging over to me. I guess there really wasn't any point in hiding the tattoo now.

"Hey," he said a little out of breath. "I'll be ready to go in like fifteen minutes. Just let me go grab a quick shower. I'm sure I smell pretty offensive right now."

I had moved back to the fence when he came over. He was smiling at me as he spoke. He looked even better with out his shirt on now that he was closer.

"Yeah, sure. I'll just wait here," I said. He told me that he would hurry and jogged off to the locker room.

I watched him leave and noticed how nice the tattoo looked on him. Seeing that tattoo got me thinking about when Adrian had gone with me to Nevermore. I remembered that ridiculous tattoo that Adrian had described and how he had actually been interested in getting it.

I was still smiling about Adrian when Trey came back. "So you ready to go?" he asked.

"Sure." We walked out to Latte and he caught hold of my hand as we went. I was getting used to the way he felt and how we seemed to fit together.

As we walked, he talked about football practice and the upcoming game. I listened as he spoke, but my mind kept wandering. I was comparing how he spoke about football to the way that Adrian spoke about art. I wished my mind would quit comparing the two of them, considering it was dead set against me being around Adrian.

Once we got to Spencer's, Trey had changed topics trying to find out more about me. I was never good at being the center of attention, so I chose what seemed like a safe topic to talk about regarding me, volleyball.

I told him how Miss Carson had been praising me for a while during PE and insisted that I tryout for the team. This surprised Trey. I guess I really didn't give the appearance of being athletic. I assured him that I could probably match him spike for spike if he wanted to test my skills. He found this amusing and agreed that we would definitely have to play a match against each other.

The rest of the evening contained lighthearted conversation about school and classes. I felt relaxed and comfortable with Trey. He was just fun to be with. As I let myself become consumed by our discussion, I found myself forgetting Adrian all together.

Once we were back at Amberwood, Trey pressed a gentle kiss to my lips before parting ways. As I went up to my room, I could still feel the warmth that his kiss left behind.

Jill met me in the hall. "So, how was your date?" she asked. I could see she was interested, but she didn't have her earlier excitement.

"It was good," I said and I couldn't help but smile. It really had been good. I hadn't been on many dates, so I didn't have much to compare it to, but I think it had probably been the best one I had ever had.

"That's good," she said. I couldn't help, but wonder if something was wrong. I mean, I didn't need her to be as excited as she was earlier, but this was a drastic change from her earlier attitude.

"Is something wrong, Jill?" I asked.

"No, I guess not. It's just that I haven't been able to sense Adrian and I am beginning to get worried. I don't want to bring you down, though. I know he is not your responsibility and I'm sure he is fine…" she trailed off lost in thought or maybe she was just trying to get into his head.

"You know, he has learned how to block you when he wants to," I tried to say reassuringly. "I think he does it to try and keep some part of his life private. I'm sure if he was in real trouble, you would know." I was so proud that I had been able to forget about Adrian for almost my entire date and I didn't real want to start thinking about him now.

"You're probably right," Jill said with a smile. I knew she was hoping I would volunteer to check on him, but I could also see she wasn't going to ask.

"He hasn't been drinking, right?" I asked. I knew that those side effects flowed through to her and she certainly did not need that on a school night.

"No, I would know if he was doing that. I think that is what bothers me most. If something is bothering him and he is not drinking, then what is he doing," she said.

"I think he has learned how to handle himself better than that. I know he doesn't need a crutch and I think he has finally realized that too," I said with more confidence than I felt. Especially, after seeing the way he went for that drink the other night. I could not worry about it though, I knew he could be strong if he wanted to and I had to believe that he would be.

"You know, it means a lot to him the way you believe in him," Jill said. "I know I have told you that before, but you haven't known Adrian as long as I have. He has changed a lot and I believe you have a lot to do with it. I never thought he would be able to get past what happened with Rose, but you've never given him a break like everyone else. I think he really needed that."

I wasn't sure what to say. When I had come back from my date tonight, I had just wanted to go to sleep dreaming about Trey, but now all I could do was think about Adrian and if he was okay. Damn it, I wished I could just turn off all of my feelings that had to do with him.

"Listen, if it will make you feel better, I could run over there real quick and make sure he is still breathing," I said. I hoped she would tell me not to worry about it, but her face lit up at the offer.

"Oh, thank you, Sydney," she said excited. "As soon as you get back I want all the juicy details of your date." I didn't have the heart to tell her that I would probably be in no mood to talk to anyone after seeing Adrian.

"Okay, if it's not too late," I said and off I went to check on Adrian. I told Mrs. Weathers and as usual, she grumbled about it being a school night and that I better make it quick. Little did she know I was not any happier about having to go.

**Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: It has been a great four-day weekend. Here is the last chapter that I will be able to complete, though, until this coming Saturday. As always, thank you for reading and reviewing. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I told Mrs. Weathers and as usual, she grumbled about it being a school night and that I better make it quick. Little did she know I was not any happier about having to go._

Chapter 11

When I arrived at Adrian's place, I could see that all of the lights were on. I knocked at the door, but he did not answer. I had truly thought that if something was wrong with Adrian, Jill would know, but now I was beginning to wonder.

Concerned for him, I tried the door handle to see if it was unlocked and it was. I quietly pushed the door open to look inside and what I saw took my breath away. The living room was filled with canvas after canvas.

Every single one was a painting of me. Some were of my entire body, while others were up close. There were even ones with Adrian in them with me. It was overwhelming. There was so much of me on display.

I noticed one painting of us lying on the couch together and another one up-close of us kissing. It was almost as if they were photographs, they looked so real.

I inched into the room and shut the door quietly behind me. Adrian was sitting at an easel working on a painting of my tattoo. I was sure that he was so lost in the moment, that he hadn't heard me come in.

"Adrian," I said softly, just barely above a whisper. I knew he heard me by the way his body tensed, but he did not turn from his work.

I was not sure what else to say. My mind was reeling from all of the emotions inside of me and on display around me. I didn't know why he was doing this. He had been the one to push me away.

"Jill wanted me to come by and check on you. She said that she was unable to sense anything from you and was concerned," I said as steadily as I could.

Without turning around, he simply said, "Tell her I'm fine," but it was the way he said it that tore me apart. I could not begin to describe the emotions that went into it, but I felt a darkness and sadness in his words.

I no longer hid behind Jill's worries, because I was now deeply concerned about him as well. I knew from Rose, that Lissa would suffer from severe mood swings because of spirit and Rose was always concerned about her. I also knew that Rose had always seen those same signs in Adrian.

"I'm worried about you, too," I said trying to keep my emotions in check. I was on the verge of breaking down just from seeing him like this.

He still did not turn around, but I could tell he was trying really hard to put as much reassurance into his voice when he spoke. "I'm fine, Sage, really. Tell Jill not to worry and I will see her on Wednesday at Clarence's."

It was clear he did not want to discuss what was going on and I really wasn't even sure how to approach it. I took a deep breath trying to pull myself together and I saw Adrian relax as he heard me do this. I think he was worried that I would insist on talking. I took his dismissal for what it was and left as quietly as I came, praying to myself that he would really be fine.

When I got back to Amberwood, Jill was waiting anxiously to find out about Adrian.

"Jill, he's fine. He was just working on a project for his art class and he didn't mean to worry you," I said hoping that my reassurance sounded genuine. "He said that he would see you on Wednesday at Clarence's."

"Thank you for checking on him. I know you didn't have to. It means a lot to me," she said clearly convinced by the excuse that I had given her. I could not tell her the truth, because I didn't want to worry her. I also knew from Rose, that she was able to pull the darkness from Lissa when it got bad, but it was at great cost to her. I did not want to see Jill hurt herself like that and I knew Adrian would not want that either.

"Now, you have to tell me all about your date with Trey," she said eagerly. "Where did you go after practice and what did you do? Oh, and did you guys kiss again?"

I didn't want to disappoint her, but as I had thought, I was in no mood to discuss anything after seeing Adrian. I simply told her that it was getting late and I was tired. I promised that if she still wanted to hear all about it, we could talk in the morning. This seemed to curb her questions and I left her to go to my room.

Once lying in bed, thoughts of my date with Trey seemed so far away. All I could think about was Adrian. I hoped he really would be okay. I did not understand what was going on with him and I did not like the fact that it obviously had something to do with me.

This brought tears to my eyes, but I fought back. There was no way I was going to shed another tear over this. I had done my crying and now it was time to start coping. I just hoped that this was just Adrian's way of coping, as well.

I am not sure when I fell asleep, but I know that the only thoughts in my head as I dreamed were of Adrian.

When morning came, I decided that I would try to push Adrian from my thoughts again. I had to believe in the strength that I knew he had and trust that he would pull through whatever side effects that spirit was causing.

I had missed Trey's morning practice to meet up with Jill for breakfast. She had not forgotten about my promise to talk about my date, so I agreed to, as long as we could do it somewhat in private.

We sat at a table out of the way in our building's cafeteria. Eddie, Angeline, and Micah sat at another one close by, but didn't join us. Angeline must have told the guys that we wanted some girl time and I knew she had no interest in joining.

I answered Jill's questions trying to put as much enthusiasm in my answers, as she put into asking them. I was reminded again, about how it didn't seem that I found dating Trey nearly as exciting as Jill found it. It made me wish that I could convince Eddie to let Jill know how he felt.

Of course, I knew he was right about it being awkward to be dating your 'sister', but at least they could maybe have some private moments that no one else would witness, for instance, when we went to Clarence's. They always seemed more open with each other there. I had not realized how hard it must really be on them, having to live this lie.

I had apparently been lost in thought about Eddie and Jill, because Jill was giving me an odd look, as if I missed something she had just said.

"I'm sorry. What were you saying?" I asked trying to get back into the conversation.

"I said, how do you feel about Trey?" Jill replied.

Now I realized why I had probably zoned out. Most of her line of questioning had had answers that were factual. She had not really asked me to express anything personal, but now she was and I did not know what to say.

"Feel about him, um, I don't know. He is fun to be with and he seems to really care for me," I said.

"I get that, but what do you feel. You keep telling me about what you think he feels, but you seem to be avoiding how you feel," she said. She was no longer talking excitedly. She seemed more concerned, than anything.

I felt put on the spot and I had no experience with opening up to others. It was just not something I did. The only time I had ever really opened up was with Adrian and I wasn't ready to do that with anyone else after what had happened with him.

"I guess I like him. I don't really have much experience with dating, so I don't really know what else to say," I said hoping this would be a good enough answer for Jill to drop it.

It seemed to work. I could tell she wasn't pleased with my non-descript answer, but it seemed to satisfy her for now. I hoped she understood that I wasn't trying to be cold, I was just not good at all this emotional stuff.

It was time to get to class, so I was able to avoid any more questions that she might have had. As Eddie and I walked to class, he jokingly asked if I survived our girl time. I think he understood my apprehension to discussing feelings and it was nice to know that I was not alone.

Once in class, Trey instantly paid attention to me. The rest of the day, we spent together. He walked me to my classes, held my hand, and brushed a kiss to my forehead every time we parted ways.

Even though Kristin and Julia had seen us kiss, they had apparently not heard about us dating. As soon as they could corner me, they gave me the same line of questioning that Jill had. My answers came easier with them, since I had already formulated my answers with Jill. When they asked how I felt about Trey, I simply said that I liked him, putting enough emphasis on the 'liked' part to avoid them having any other concerns about whether I really meant it or not.

After school, I received more books to translate and take notes on from Ms. Terwilliger. Luckily, it had seemed that she had run out of spell books. I went to Spencer's to work on them, so that I could spend time with Trey while I did my research, since he had to work that afternoon.

When Wednesday came, so had the blood sample from the Alchemists, I had almost forgotten that I had requested it. I knew that Adrian would be at Clarence's that day and that he would be meeting with Sonya later that evening, so I figured I could give it to him then.

When we arrived at Clarence's that afternoon, though, Adrian was not there.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. Adrian had said that he was going to be stopping by later, because he had to stay after class to complete something," said Jill.

"Oh, okay," I said. I had not realized how much I had actually been looking forward to seeing him. I really hoped that he had told Jill the truth about why he would be coming later. I was still worried about the way I had left him the other day.

With Adrian not at Clarence's to occupy me, I was restless and rushed our visit, not wanting to stay in that house any longer than I had to. I gave the blood sample to Dorothy in a sealed padded envelope and asked if she would make sure to give it to Adrian or Sonya when they stopped by.

Even though, I was concerned about Adrian, I decided that I'd rather not be around while they conducted the experiment. Besides, I knew that he and Sonya were fully capable of obtaining the results without my presence.

Since our date, Trey and I had fallen into a routine. I would watch his morning practice and then we would go off to our classes together. After class, I would work on my research wherever he was, whether it was sitting outside while he practiced or at Spencer's while he worked. It had become a comfortable relationship and I had grown fond of it.

Occasionally, we would spend quiet moments together sitting under our tree and share a few stolen kisses, but nothing ever as passionate as what I had shared with Adrian.

I attended the final football game of the season on Friday with Eddie, Jill, Angeline, and Micah. It was the first game I had actually watched Trey play in. He was just as amazing as Angeline had described. I had seen enough football practices now, to follow what was going on. When the game ended, our team was victorious and I knew that they would not have won without Trey.

The weekend passed with me spending more time with Trey. He even joined in with Eddie and the group in a couple of their training sessions. Trey was just as impressive as Micah had been, for a human, when it came to going up against dhampirs.

When I had taken Jill and the gang to Clarence's for her feeding, I dropped them off and met Trey at Spencer's for a cup of coffee. When I returned to pick up everyone, Jill had said that Adrian would not be coming again until later on that evening, so I had missed him again.

Most evenings, I would lie in bed thinking about Adrian and how he was doing. I had not seen him since that night and I was beginning to wonder if he was avoiding me.

The following week was the week of Thanksgiving and the day before Thanksgiving was tryouts for volleyball. It was also, supposed to be a feeding day.

"I'm not sure when I will be able to squeeze in taking you to Clarence's," I told Jill. "I can't miss tryouts or Miss Carson will kill me."

"Don't worry. It's not a problem. Last time we were at Clarence's, he invited us to Thanksgiving dinner, so I can just wait until tomorrow for my feeding," Jill said. She had failed to mention that part to me when I had picked her up. Either that or I was too consumed with thinking about Adrian that I didn't pay attention to her.

"Okay, great. I'm glad we could work this out. I'm so nervous about tryouts. Trey has been helping me practice in his off time, but I don't know if I am good enough. It is not like athletics is something that Alchemists excel in," I rambled.

"Don't worry. You will do fine. I have seen you during PE. You are amazing. Besides, we are going to be right there cheering you on," she said reassuringly. Of course, I wasn't really sure I wanted an audience, but at least they would be in my corner.

"Thanks, I just hope I don't trip and fall or something equally embarrassing," I said.

She just smiled. "Sydney, have a little faith. I know you will do great." I have to admit I found it a little ironic that a vampire was telling me to have faith. I had to smile at that.

Later that afternoon, I met up with everyone outside the gym for tryouts. Kristin and Julia showed up to support me as well.

"Don't worry, girl," Julia said. "You will do great. If Miss Carson was that adamant on having you come, then I'm sure you already made the team."

I appreciated the additional support, but I wasn't as confident about my skills once I saw how many girls showed up for tryouts. They all left me to go find seats in the stands and I waited in line with the rest of the girls until my name was called.

Trey had taken a front row seat to cheer me on. I was glad to see his face. I had gotten used to having him as a constant in my life and I felt more confident when he was there.

During the tryouts, I performed amazing saves and showed off some of my better skills, like spiking the ball. Trey and I had been practicing that a lot. When tryouts were done, I was fairly confident that I had made the team. Miss Carson said that the team roster would be posted after Thanksgiving and I had to admit that I was filled with anticipation at having to wait.

"I told you, you would do great," Trey said as he lifted me off the ground in a hug and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. I could see Jill behind us, excited about the public display of affection between us. I blushed a little from the kiss. We really had never shared a kiss when others were around.

"Thanks," I said backing away from Trey a little when he set me down. I could feel all of them watching us. I was glad when Angeline broke the awkward silence.

"Yeah, you weren't that bad actually," she said as if it was a total shock. My black eye had finally healed and I knew she was still itching for a rematch, to test my strengths. I had managed to put it off, saying that I needed to get ready for these tryouts. I was really hoping that she did not decide to take a swing now that they were done.

I think Jill could sense my concern regarding Angeline. "Hey guys, why don't we leave Trey and Sydney alone to celebrate her victory. I'm sure she made the team, whether it has been posted or not yet," she said as she pulled Eddie and Angeline away.

"Yeah, you guys go celebrate," Eddie said in a suggestive way, with a smirk on his face. I could not believe the way he had just said that and I knew my face had turned bright red.

Eddie, Micah, Jill, and Angeline walked off together and I could have swore I saw Jill whispering stuff to Eddie and giggling about it as she looked back at us. I was going to have a serious talk with the both of them later.

I turned to Trey a little nervous about what he would think of their comments and departure. He looked a little apprehensive, too. "So, do you want to go celebrate?" he asked and I could tell he wasn't exactly sure what he might be implying by asking that.

I hoped he just meant spending time together and nothing more physical than that. "That sounds fine," I said with a little apprehension. "We could go to a movie," I added.

He seemed to relax at that. I think he felt the same way about being put on the spot, in such a way to suggest more than just spending time together. "Yeah, that sounds great. There is a new movie showing at the theater by Spencer's. I'll wait here while you go get changed," he said with relief.

I showered, changed, and met him back outside the gym. At the movies, we were back to the comfortable way that we had been. He put his arm around me or held my hand. When we got back to school that evening, I received the usual gentle kiss goodnight.

Just like always, though, I fell asleep dreaming about Adrian. I was beginning to wonder if I should be concerned, but I brushed it off. I was with Trey and when I was with him, I was truly with him. It was just my dreams that I gave to Adrian and as long as it was nothing more than that, it was fine.

Somehow, I think my mind knew that I was lying to myself, but as an Alchemist, I could be very convincing, even if it was just winning the mental battle in my head.

**I hope it didn't seem too rushed. I felt like I needed to move forward at least a week, so that I wasn't doing a daily play by play. I hope that it flowed okay. Please read and review. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: This chapter starts another weekend of writing. I hope you enjoy. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Somehow, I think my mind knew that I was lying to myself, but as an Alchemist, I could be very convincing, even if it was just winning the mental battle in my head._

Chapter 12

The next morning I awoke early as usual. Unfortunately, it was Thanksgiving, so classes were cancelled and there really wasn't any need to be up early. On our date the night before, Trey had told me that he would be spending Thanksgiving with his family, so I knew I wouldn't see him today, either.

Lying in bed, I was having trouble finding the motivation to even get up. My only plans were to spend a day surrounded by vampires, in a house that made me feel uncomfortable. The only bright side I could find was that I would finally be able to see Adrian.

Of course, that is as long as he didn't come up with an excuse not to show up. It seemed as if he was avoiding me, like I was the evil creature of the night and even though it shouldn't have bothered me, it did.

A knock sounded at my door, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, Sydney, do you want to come down to breakfast with us?" Jill asked through the door.

"I'll meet you in the cafeteria," I called back. "I haven't gotten ready for the day yet."

"Okay," Jill replied and I heard her walk away. I wasn't sure I really wanted to get ready for the day, either, I added to myself. I had a feeling it was going to be a long one.

I met Jill, Eddie, and Angeline in the cafeteria. Micah had already headed off to see his family for the holiday and wouldn't be joining us this morning.

Looking around, as I sat with them, I noticed how sparsely scattered with students the cafeteria was. The students that were there seemed to be grabbing something quick before heading off to see their families.

I started feeling a pang of longing for my family. I hadn't talked to my mother much since I first arrived in Palm Springs. Right about now, she would be straightening up the house to prepare for the night's feast. Zoe, whom I'm sure hadn't forgiven me, would have been grumbling about having to help. Carly was still off at college, but would have been calling in later today to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Then there was my father. He would probably be locked away in his study working on Alchemist business, until my mother summoned him for dinner.

I might not have had a normal family, but it was my family and I missed them right now.

"Sydney," Jill said, "is everything okay?" I was not sure what emotions were on my face at the moment, but I put my professional face back in place.

"Everything's fine," I replied. "When were we supposed to head over to Clarence's?" I began to wonder when spending time with vampires had become the highlight of my day.

"He had said we were welcome at any time. I was thinking maybe we could head that way early, instead of hanging around here, if that was okay with you?" she asked.

"That's fine. It really doesn't seem like too many people are staying around the school anyway today," I said with a smile, trying to show that I really didn't mind the prolonged time I would have to spend at Clarence's.

I decided that if I was going to have to endure this outing I would need a distraction, so I told Jill I would meet them at Latte, just as soon as I grabbed my laptop. I figured that working on the research for Ms. Terwilliger would be a good excuse to escape from everyone.

As we headed out to Clarence's, Jill informed me that Sonya and Dimitri would be coming for dinner, as well. I couldn't help but smile and think back to when Adrian had called us 'one big happy family'. My smile faded a little as I remembered how I missed my real family.

We were the first to arrive at Clarence's and Jill decided to go see Dorothy when we got there. I knew it had to be uncomfortable for Jill to only feed twice a week, but I knew she would never complain. Eddie followed Jill as if he needed to protect her, even though there was no chance of a threat.

This left Angeline and me behind. No matter my upbringing, I felt no need to engage in civilities with Angeline and remained quiet in the living room waiting for Jill and Eddie to return, so it surprised me when Angeline spoke.

"Sydney, I need to speak with you about something," she said hesitantly. I was not sure what was coming next. It was not like Angeline to seem unsure of herself when she spoke. Even if she wasn't the most articulate person in the world, she was always direct.

"Jill and I were talking the other day about Moroi laws. Well, I guess we were more or less debating about them." I'm sure by debating, Angeline meant arguing, but I still wasn't sure where this was going. I remained silent, waiting for her to continue.

"It's just that the reason that Jill is here came up and I, or rather we, were wondering if you had heard anything." Well, that was unexpected. To be honest, I hadn't really given it much thought, but I guessed I should have. I mean, it was the whole reason I was wrapped up in this insane family charade after all.

"No, actually I haven't heard anything," I replied. "I will definitely inquire about it, though. I'm sure Jill is anxious to get back to Court and her old life." By the look on Angeline's face, I could tell that I had misread why she would want to know.

"Is something wrong?" I asked. It was not as if Angeline and I would be considered friends, but I couldn't help feeling concerned by her expression.

I could tell that having this kind of discussion with me was uncomfortable for her, but she managed to continue. "It's just that Jill doesn't actually want to go back to Court." I had to admit, I was a little surprised at Angeline's response. Then she added, as she looked at her hands, "And if she does go back, what will happen to me?"

Angeline didn't look back up. I knew this was hard for her to say. Vulnerability was definitely not a trait of the Keepers. I wanted to comfort her, but I knew it would not be welcomed.

Jill and Eddie returned before I had a chance to say anything. Angeline straightened back up and put on her usual lack of caring expression as they came in. "So, who is ready to spar," she said as if we had never even spoken.

Jill lit up at this. I found it amusing how someone like Jill, someone so beautiful and perfect, would be so excited about learning to fight. I could see that Eddie was regarding her fondly. I imagined Eddie would have been willing to do anything that involved being close to Jill. It got me thinking that maybe Eddie encouraged Jill to learn to defend herself just so that he could have those moments of physical contact.

Jill turned to me. "Do you want to join us, Sydney?" I was sure that Jill knew why Adrian would always take me outside when we would come and I appreciated the gesture to get me out of the house. The only problem was that I could see Angeline was waiting for my answer as well. Without Micah, their group was no longer evenly paired and I knew Angeline would prefer not to have to take turns sparring.

I still was not ready to face Angeline in a rematch. Regardless of my concerned feelings for her earlier, they weren't enough to let me allow her to pummel me.

"I really need to work on the research I brought with me," I said as Angeline's expression dropped. "But I'll come and watch while I work on it." Angeline seemed to brighten a little at this, maybe thinking there might still be hope for a rematch.

It was rather warm out for being November, but there were plenty of areas on Clarence's property that would provide protection from the sun. They picked an area surrounded by trees. It was a spot that Adrian and I used to spend time at.

I sat at the edge of their fighting circle and started up my laptop. Eddie had decided to let Angeline and Jill go first, while he stayed close to coach Jill on her defensive moves. Occasionally, he would step in to correct Jill's stance or show her a new technique. Jill always watched him closely, studying every detail of what he was showing her or maybe she was just trying to take in every detail of Eddie.

I really didn't have any research to do for Ms. Terwilliger at the moment, so I decided to see if I could find anything out about the Moroi voting laws. As I logged into the Alchemists' database, I was reminded of how I was unable to find anything regarding magic in the history archives.

A quick glance at current news showed that the voting laws were still being debated, but it did look as if progress towards removing the law had been made. Since, I had my answer for Angeline, I decided to look through the history again. Ms. Terwilliger had said that Alchemists and sorcerers worked together openly in the past and it wasn't until recent times that this had been hidden from lower level Alchemists. I was wondering how long ago things had changed. How far back would I need to dig?

As I scanned for references to magic, I would come across the occasional Alchemist compound formula and when it had been added to our database for use. I couldn't understand why we would keep such precise records regarding this, but not a single record regarding humans who performed magic. Whether I liked it or not, I could not deny that sorcerers did exist. There was just too much evidence, between the spell books and Trey's tattoo labeling him as one, but I didn't understand why the Alchemists would have nothing on them.

As I was pondering this, Jill came over to sit with me. I closed my laptop to avoid her seeing what I had been looking at.

"So, are you ready for that rematch?" she asked with a knowing smile. "I warned you that you needed to practice with Eddie in your down time," she chuckled.

"I know, I know," I replied with a smile. "I knew it would be too much to hope that she would forget. Maybe I will be able to at least put her off for however long you guys are here." Jill's smile dimmed at the comment and I was reminded of what Angeline had said.

"You know, they are getting closer to overturning the voting law. Soon you will be able to go back to Court and return to whatever it is that princesses do," I said. Jill still seemed down. I had been surprised by what Angeline had said earlier, but I could see by looking at Jill, that Angeline had been right.

"Wouldn't you be happy to return to Court? You will get to spend time with others of your kind, instead of having to mix in with humans. I know you used to feel uncomfortable trying to fit in. At Court, you wouldn't have to try, you would just fit," I said reassuringly.

"Do you really think it is that easy," Jill said frankly. "I didn't fit in at Court when I left. I was not raised as royalty and I certainly was not looked upon as it, either. Besides, what will happen to everyone else, if I go back? Eddie was on shaky ground when we left. This assignment has been a test for him. What will happen to him once he returns?" I had not thought about that.

Jill continued, "And what will happen to Angeline. She has told me that she has always wanted to get out in the world, but I know she will just be returned to the Keepers, if I go back." I could see that Angeline had expressed her concern regarding her fate to Jill, as well.

"Then there is Adrian," she went on. "What will happen to him? He was sent here to stay close to me. If I go back, he will too. You did not know what it was like for him there. It was a constant reminder of all of his losses, all of his failures. His father wanted nothing to do with him. His mother was imprisoned for trying to protect him. Rose chose Dimitri. Even before we were bound, I could see how hurt he was. Once we were bound…" she shuttered slightly. "I don't want him to feel that way again."

"Well, he's not that way now," I said hoping that her mood would lift. The more she talked about Adrian, the darker her expression seemed.

This time she looked at me with despair. "But how do you know that he will stay that way? Spirit amplifies his emotions and he is filled with so many. It was agony to watch him, let alone feel what he felt. I can't make him go back." As she spoke, I remembered the last time I had seen Adrian and how it had affected me. I understood her fears.

I knew Jill was concerned about everyone and clearly, she was overly protective of Adrian. I could only assume that protectiveness was because of the bond. I had seen the way Rose had needed to protect Lissa and I knew it had to do with more than just being a guardian. Honestly though, the fact remained that going back to Court would possibly not be up to her, but I didn't want to point that out.

"What do you want, Jill?" I asked. "I know you are worried about everyone else, but what do you want?"

She stayed silent for a moment. When she spoke, it was in a very thoughtful tone. "I want my old life back, but I know that can't happen. I would settle for the normalcy that I have now. I know it is not a Moroi Academy, but I have friends here. Friends that do not know I am royal and do not treat me as such. I just want the rest of this school year to figure things out. I believe I deserve that much."

I agreed with her. If she hadn't accepted her royal position, Lissa would have never become Queen. I did think that Lissa owed her this much. "When it comes time for the decision to be made," I said, "I will do my best to help you." I wasn't sure there would be much I could do, but Jill deserved to be happy, even if she was a vampire. She just smiled at me in response.

By the time, Jill and I had finished our discussion, Eddie and Angeline had come over to take a break. Well, it looked more like Eddie wanted a break. Angeline still seemed to be wired.

As Eddie sat down next to Jill, her smile widened. Angeline paid no attention to them, because she was too busy staring me down.

"Come on Sydney. At least train with me," Angeline said. "I promise not to hit you again without warning. I could show you how to land a kick on someone and help you perfect your punch."

I knew she would be mad if I pointed out that I thought I could already punch rather well, considering I had hit her before. I decided to give into Angeline, only because it gave Eddie and Jill some time together alone.

"Fine, you may show me some techniques, but we are not sparring," I said in a tone that I hoped made it clear.

I think she was just happy that I agreed. "No, I promise, just techniques, no sparring." She held up her hands as if to emphasize her understanding.

While Angeline was showing me the finer points of kicking, I hadn't noticed Adrian had arrived. It wasn't until Angeline made me try to land a roundhouse kick on her that I saw him. I was so caught off guard by him watching me, that I lost my balance and fell.

"I didn't even touch you," Angeline groaned. I picked myself up, putting back on a look of indifference, as I brushed my clothes off. I had not realized how much I had let my guard down, until I saw Adrian.

"Well, I didn't touch you, either, so I guess we're even," I said back. I was embarrassed enough by my falter, I did not need her picking on me. Adrian was watching us with amusement.

Eddie and Jill got up then and decided to step in. "Why don't you and Jill practice again for a little while and give Sydney a break," Eddie said. The change in partners didn't seem to faze Angeline. I think she was just happy to continue to be active.

"So Sage, I didn't know you had so much talent. Are you going to tryout to be a Guardian, because I would let you guard me any time," Adrian said in his usual flirtatious way. Unfortunately, I didn't have a witty come back. I just kept looking at him and seeing the Adrian I had left in his apartment a little over a week ago. All of those emotions started to resurface.

A frown crossed Adrian's face when I didn't respond. "Oh come on Sage. All of the words in the world at your disposal and you can't find any to say." I knew he was trying to be humorous, picking on how I had picked at him for calling me spunky, but I just couldn't snap out of it.

Adrian stood up and closed the distance between us. He was no longer looking at me as if he was trying to assess a situation, but he was gazing into my eyes as if he was trying to see into my soul. My mind started screaming at me because he was so close and that was what finally snapped me out of my stupor.

I broke the gaze with Adrian and went for my laptop. I did not know why I had froze or why seeing him had stirred up so many emotions, but I was not going to let him know that he had had any affect on me. I just simply changed the subject.

"So, did you and Sonya test the blood sample?" I asked as I settled back down with my laptop.

I didn't look up at him, but I had a feeling he was trying to figure out what had just happened. It didn't take him long though to move on from it. "Yep and Alchemists definitely would make bad feeders," he said as he settled down in the grass beside me.

I smiled slightly. I was glad to know that it wasn't just my blood that turned off vampires. I had been so afraid that there might have been something wrong with me.

"So, now that we have established that there is something special about your Alchemist blood, where do we go from here?" Adrian asked. I had already formulated that if it was in fact Alchemist blood that tasted off, it would be because of the tattoos, but I wasn't really sure the importance of it.

"It has to be our tattoos that change our blood to something that is undesirable," I said looking over at Adrian. We weren't touching, but he was still so close. "I just don't know what that would mean for your research," I said looking back down.

I saw his hand move next to me, as if he might touch me, but he moved it back. It was amazing how close we had come to know each other and then how quickly it all changed.

He was right, it had been a bad idea, I had to remind myself.

"Well, I'm sure Sonya will be able to help us sort it out," he finally said. "She said she would be coming later this afternoon." I noticed how he conveniently left Dimitri out of the equation again. It made me wonder how much better Adrian really was. Avoiding his problems was not any way to deal with them. I decided it wasn't the time or place to confront him about them, though, not with everyone only a few feet away.

I glanced up to see Eddie and Jill sparring, while Angeline shouted commands at Jill. You could see that Eddie wasn't really trying and I think it was frustrating Angeline just as much as Jill.

"So, do you want to try a little one on one?" Adrian tried again playfully, when he noticed my attention back on the others. I was not sure what came over me in that moment, but I knew I wanted to feel close to Adrian and I knew this would be a safe way.

"You bet," I said hopping up and grabbing a hold of his arm as I pulled him towards the others.

**Thanks to all of you who review. I really do find the reviews helpful. I did want to let everyone know, though, that going forward, I will be disabling the Anonymous Review feature. I hope this does not offend anyone and that you will continue to read and review my story, but I do like to be able to respond to my reviews and I have found it frustrating when I can't. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Here is the next and last chapter for the weekend. I will not be able to get out more than two chapters this weekend. I promise to post something next weekend. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_You bet," I said hopping up and grabbing a hold of his arm as I pulled him towards the others._

Chapter 13

The look on Adrian's face was priceless, once I got him out in the middle of everyone. I turned to face him and everyone just paused to see what would happen next. Angeline looked angry because we had interrupted their sparring. Jill looked worried, unsure of what was going on and I think Eddie just looked amused.

"Now Sage," Adrian said holding up his hands in a defensive gesture, "this wasn't exactly what I had in mind." I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Come on Adrian. I didn't think you were all talk. Show me what you got," and at that I lunged at him. I didn't swing for his face, well, mainly because it was just too pretty. I merely swung at his body, but not being as skilled as everyone else, it turned into more of a shove than a punch.

Angeline started shouting directions at me, the same way she had been doing with Jill. Then Eddie started trying to coach Adrian. I think Jill was not sure whom to root for. I knew we were supposed to be sparring, but I couldn't keep from laughing as we were doing it. I felt like a couple of kids on the schoolyard with everyone gathered around to watch.

Finally overpowering me, Adrian knocked me down to the ground and was on top of me. I knew we both looked a little worse for wear and I couldn't help, but laugh at the way his artfully messy hair looked just a little too messy.

"So, do you give up?" he asked through his ragged breaths. He had me pinned by my wrists looking deep into my eyes. At that moment, I think I would have given up anything for him. Trying to get my mind under control, I conceded defeat with a nod. I was afraid if I spoke, I wouldn't be able to control what I would say.

He got up, hoisting me up with him. I could hear Angeline groan at the fact that I gave in. He was still holding my wrists once we were standing.

That was when the clapping started and Adrian and I jumped apart.

"Bravo!" Sonya exclaimed. "I was always one who felt it was important to learn to defend yourself and clearly you two are naturals." I hadn't realized that in the middle of our scuffle, Sonya and Dimitri had arrived.

A blush crept up my cheeks from her praise and Dimitri seemed to have a fond look on his face as well. I looked over at Adrian, but whatever humor had been on his face while we were sparring was gone now that he had seen Dimitri.

Heedless of what was going on in front of her, Angeline spoke up. "Dimitri would you be my sparring partner?" she asked. I remembered the Godlike status that Dimitri and Rose had had back when they stayed with the Keepers. I knew that being able to spar with Dimitri would be considered such an honor for her.

"Sure," he said with an easy smile on his face that I knew was rare.

Adrian had wandered off to the side while Angeline had spoken. This time Eddie was clearly rooting for Dimitri and Jill was rooting for Angeline, a definite girls against guys rivalry.

I had stepped back from the fray and noticed that Sonya was looking off at Adrian. My eyes followed her gaze. Sonya turned to me, taking notice of the way I looked after Adrian. "He is hurting you know," she said, "I can see it in his aura." I did not need to be able to see auras to know that, but I did not say that, I knew it would be rude.

"I'll go talk to him," I said. I wasn't sure what I would say to him, though. Every time I tried to talk to him about dealing with his problems, things never went well.

Sonya smiled at me. "How about you just try to listen to him," she said with a knowing look in her eye. I knew she was right, but I'd have to get him to talk first, before I could listen and that was always the challenge.

I wandered after him. He hadn't gone far. He was standing by the garden where we had discussed him painting the beauty of the flowers.

"Adrian?" I said. Hoping that maybe he would just start bearing his soul to me and I wouldn't have to say more, but of course, he didn't answer.

When we had been sparring I had been touching him and letting him touch me and it was allowed because that was what happened when you fought, but now I stayed distant, afraid of what touching him under these circumstances would mean.

I tried again, "Adrian, I think maybe you should talk to someone." Well, that got a reaction. He turned on me and I couldn't place the emotions that ran across his face.

"You think I need to talk to someone," he said incredulously. "Did you finally get that experience in love that you didn't have before?"

The way he spoke to me hurt. It mirrored how he had spoken to me back when I had picked him up in Los Angeles at Jill's request. I was angry, but I didn't know what to say. He was right. I still could not say that I had any true experience in love to know what he was going through. Even now that I was dating Trey, I knew I wasn't in love with him, no matter how much easier it would be on me if I were.

I thought back to what Sonya had said. What Adrian needed was someone to listen, not someone to talk and certainly not someone to fight with. As calmly as I could, trying to mask the hurt, I said, "You're right Adrian. I don't know what it feels to love someone as deeply as you loved Rose, but if this is what I have to look forward to," I said gesturing at him, "then I think I am better off."

As I turned to go, Adrian said, "Wait."

"Listen," he said softly, "I know you're just trying to help and I shouldn't be taking my anger out on you. It is just so hard to see him sometimes. To know what he did with her when she was supposed to be with me." He sounded so defeated.

"You know he feels bad about what happened," I said. "And you know Rose is sorry for what she did. So, why can't you just forgive them and move on."

He looked into my eyes with that intense look that he would get. "I don't know," he simply said as he broke the gaze.

We stood there in silence for a little bit and then he spoke again. "Love, it's worth the pain, Sage. I know it may not look like it from me, but I would not have traded having Rose in my life for anything, even if it was only briefly. If you ever have the opportunity, don't pass it by."

He sounded so philosophical at that moment. I could see that he meant it. No matter the pain that it had caused him, he wouldn't have traded it for anything. I wondered if I would ever know those feelings.

He had seemed to pull himself together, so we rejoined everyone. Just as we arrived, Dimitri threw Angeline to the ground. I had a feeling it was not the first time from the look on her face. I felt some smug satisfaction as I watched her get up, only to be taken down again. Eddie had been a good match for her, but Dimitri was clearly more than she could handle.

Eddie, Jill, and Sonya had taken up seats in the grass near the edge and we sat down with them. Sonya looked at Adrian as if she was assessing his aura and then she nodded at me in approval. I was relieved to know that his aura looked better, and that he wasn't just putting on a good show.

I could tell that Dimitri was growing weary of Angeline's constant attacks, even though, I knew he would never allow her to overpower him. He decided to change from sparring to teaching mode. Angeline seemed to be just as content on having Dimitri teach her, as she was with being able to spar with him.

At one point, Dorothy came outside with sandwiches and iced tea for us. I ate minimally because of my usual fear of eating something prepared in a vampire's home. Everyone else seemed to have no problem with the food, but then again why would they considering they were vampires. For once, Adrian didn't make any snide comments about my eating habits.

Eventually, Jill seemed to grow weary of sitting outside watching Angeline and Dimitri.

"I think I'd like to go in and watch a movie," Jill said to what seemed like no one in particular.

Eddie jumped on this instantly. "Yeah, that sounds like more fun than this," he said gesturing to the teaching session that had resumed after our lunch.

Jill and Eddie got up to leave. I started to rise as well and that was when Adrian reached out and caught my hand to stop me. It was the first time we had touched since sparring and it warmed me in the simplest of ways. It was very similar to the way that Trey had stopped me from going to class, but yet it was different too.

I sat back down and Adrian let go. I knew he hadn't held on long, but my skin still felt warm where he had touched me. Jill and Eddie hadn't seemed to notice that I was going to leave with them, so they continued to walk back to the house.

I looked over at Adrian. "I think those two could use some time alone," he simply said as he gazed after their departure.

I had forgotten that Sonya was still sitting with us until she spoke. "Yes, I do believe there is more there than meets the eye," she smiled, "at least to the non-aura seeing eye."

It did make me happy to see that Jill and Eddie were able to have this time. Even though I knew Jill did not want to go back to Court, I couldn't help but feel that things might be easier for her and Eddie there. At least, they would not have to pretend to be brother and sister.

I knew that Adrian was doing well spending time in Dimitri's presence, but it seemed as if he was getting a little restless. I decided to use my own fears of talking openly with others to move us away.

"Sonya, would we be able to talk about the results of your blood experiment? Maybe somewhere a little more private," I said glancing over at Angeline. I knew Dimitri was part of the research, but there was no need to bring Angeline into it.

"Sure my dear," she said.

Adrian, Sonya, and I went off to a nearby gazebo where there was a picnic table. I had brought my laptop with me.

"Adrian had told me that the reaction to the other Alchemist's blood had been the same as with mine," I spoke. "I had a theory about it having to do with our tattoos, but as I had told Adrian, I wasn't sure what that would mean for your research."

Sonya remained silent as she listened to me. "What exactly goes into your tattoo?" she asked. I explained to her the process as I started up my laptop, so that I could show her the exact formula and process.

As she perused the formula, I noticed Adrian watching me. Sonya looked up from the formula questioningly. "I know that Alchemists have very strong feelings regarding us, our magic, and our way of life, but this seems very much like a spell to me."

That was the confirmation I was looking for. I could still feel Adrian watching me. I think he knew why I had wanted to ask Sonya about the tattoo. I was hoping to get my own answers regarding magic. I think Sonya also noticed my lack of surprise.

"But, you already thought that magic was involved, didn't you," she said more as a statement than a question.

"I have had my suspicions," I simply said.

"If Alchemists have been performing magic all along, then maybe that is the answer to stopping Strigoi. Maybe we just need to combine our efforts," she seemed caught up in her thoughts as she spoke.

"Would you be willing to discuss other formulas that you use?" she asked.

At this, I felt a little uncomfortable. I was having enough trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that I had been performing magic without even realizing it. I wasn't sure how much more I should reveal. Didn't my loyalties still lie with the Alchemists?

I think Sonya could see my discomfort regarding our discussion. "Please come to our meeting tomorrow evening. I won't press you for anymore details regarding the Alchemist formulas, but if you want to talk we will listen."

I accepted her request and just as I was closing up the laptop, Dorothy appeared to let us know that dinner was ready.

Adrian, Sonya, and I headed back to the house. Sonya walked ahead of us.

"Sage, you don't have to discuss anything you don't want to," Adrian said. "I know you are having trouble with all of this. Sonya will understand if you wish to remain out of our research."

Adrian was being so kind, that it was hard to think of him as the arrogant, carefree vampire that he normally was.

"It is fine, Adrian. You were right about me needing answers and Sonya might be able to help me get them," I smiled at him trying to show that I was not uncomfortable with the fact that I had to turn to vampires for help.

Back inside, we sat at a beautiful, ornate dining room table decked out with all the usual Thanksgiving Day trimmings. Clarence sat at the head of the table. To his right, Eddie, Jill, and Angeline sat and to his left were Dimitri, Sonya, and Adrian. I sat at the other end, figuring it was the farthest position from everyone in the room.

As the dishes were passed, I placed my usual minimal amounts of food on my plate. I figured I needed to be polite enough to eat, but I certainly wasn't required to eat much.

Clarence started the meal saying that it was tradition to say what we were thankful for. He went first stating that he was thankful for the good company that he had been blessed with that evening.

As they went around the table, everyone gave similar thanks for being together. When they got to me, I felt a nervous blush creep up on my face. I knew I needed to say something, but how could I really say that I was thankful to be spending time with a bunch of vampires.

I glanced over at Adrian and I could tell that he was studying my aura. "I'm thankful for being included in your gathering, since I am so far away from my actual family," I said sadly. I had not realized how much I was still missing them until I looked up at my mock 'family' as they waited for my response.

The rest of the dinner was spent discussing non-important matters, such as the weather or places of interest. I tuned out most of it, lost in my own thoughts about my family. They would have been sitting down to a dinner similar to this. Even my father would have been joining in the conversation. The holidays were those rare moments that I could almost see why my mother and father were together, even though they were so different.

When dinner ended, Clarence retired to his room clearly exhausted by the company and everyone else started to head back to the living room. Adrian moved next to me as we were leaving the dining room.

"Could I speak to you?" he asked. His eyes seemed to look at me with concern.

"Sure," I replied in an empty tone.

I followed Adrian off to a back room that I had not been to before. Once in it, I realized it must have been the bedroom that Adrian had stayed in when he stayed with Clarence. I was exhausted from the day and even though my mind was screaming at me for being alone in a bedroom with a vampire, I mentally blocked it out. I just wanted to shut down all of my thoughts for a little while.

Adrian gestured for me to sit on the bed and I complied, sitting at the end of the bed. Adrian was still standing looking at me or more like around me.

"Are you okay, Sage? Your aura seemed off during dinner," he said. Leave it to Adrian to be the only person in the room to notice my existence.

"Listen Adrian," I said my voice low. "I'm just exhausted. It's been a long day."

Adrian sat on the edge of the bed next to me. He wasn't touching me, but he was still close enough for me to feel.

"You know, I think you might need to talk to someone," he said mirroring my earlier concern for him.

I laid back on the bed, legs dangling over the side and closed my eyes. I knew I shouldn't feel comfortable in this situation, but it was Adrian. He was harmless and I was determined to shut off my mental alarms. I just needed to rest.

He followed suit, lying back on the bed next to me. I knew he had his head turned to me watching.

"It's just with everything going on, with the magic and the lies. It is just overwhelming. To know my own father is a part of this. To top it off, this is one of the first holidays that I have not spent at home and I miss my family," I said feeling some of the weight on my chest lift.

I knew I should not have looked, but I could not help myself. I turned my head to the side facing Adrian and I was met with his gorgeous emerald eyes. They were filled with so much concern. We laid like that for quite some time lost in each other's eyes in silence. We were lying similar to how Trey and I had been under the tree back at school, but my feelings now were not of peace.

I finally broke the gaze to stare back at the ceiling. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adrian do the same.

"Jill tells me that you and Trey are dating," Adrian said flatly. I felt an ache in my chest as he said that.

"Yes, we are," I said just above a whisper.

"Yet, you don't love him," he said almost as if that was the oddest thing.

"Adrian, you can spend time with someone and like their company without being in love," I said as if I had any idea about dating. I had to assume that I was right, though. People dated all the time. It would be insane for people to think they were in love with everyone they dated.

I had been thinking about what I had said to Adrian, when his movement caught my attention. We still were not touching but he had turned his whole body towards me with his head propped up on his hand looking down at me. I was trapped in his beautiful eyes again.

"Why would you bother, if it is not love?" he said questioningly. I didn't understand. I had always thought of him as the party boy, the one who would go out and spend time with anyone. He had made a point to go find some Moroi girls in Los Angeles to keep him company not that long ago.

I started to wonder, as I was locked in his gaze, if it just bothered him that maybe I was spending time with someone in the carefree way that he had.

"Sometimes it is just good to feel wanted," I said before I realized it. It was true though. I had not been feeling wanted or needed by anyone in a long time. Trey gave me that, whether I was in love with him or not.

Adrian never breaking the gaze reached over and ran his hand along my cheek. With my mind shut off for the moment, my body started giving in. I closed my eyes taking in the feel of his touch. It felt right and it stirred so many emotions.

He took his hand back and laid back down next to me, looking up at the ceiling. My heart had been racing at his touch and now that it was gone, I was trying to get my body under control. He stayed silent as he lay next to me, as well.

Once I was sure I wouldn't say or do anything that crossed my moral lines, I sat up. "We should probably be going, so that we are not late for curfew," I said. Adrian had sat up when I spoke, but didn't respond.

I looked over at him and his eyes were studying me again. I could not place the emotion that they held and once his eyes met mine he had hidden whatever had been there. I had an incredible urge to reach out and touch him, so I opened my mind back up and let the screams of how wrong this was back in. It was enough to snap me out of my emotions.

I got up and went out to the living room with Adrian following behind. Angeline was on a couch with Dimitri grilling him with questions about being a Guardian. Eddie and Jill were on another couch. Jill had curled up next to him and was sleeping peacefully. Sonya had been sitting in a chair off to the side vigilantly watching everyone. I was sure the auras in the room were very entertaining.

Sonya was the first one to look up when we came in the room. A small smile crossed her face as she studied us. I was hoping that our auras did not show we were doing more than what we had been doing. I felt a little uncomfortable under her gaze.

Eddie looked up next and his movement caused Jill to stir. "Is it time to go?" she asked groggily.

"Yes, I think we need to head back, so that we don't get in trouble with Mrs. Weathers," I said.

Eddie gathered Jill up, helping her out to the car, since she was not completely awake yet. Angeline walked out with Dimitri, looking depressed that her time with him had ended. Sonya offered Adrian a ride, so that we would not be late arriving back at the school. As we parted ways, I reassured Sonya that I would stop by tomorrow for their meeting.

We made it back to Amberwood right before curfew and Mrs. Weathers even allowed Eddie to walk Jill up to her room when she saw how tired she looked. Of course, to her she was just allowing a big brother to help his sister.

Back in my bed, I thought about everything that had happened that day. I remembered how my day had started with my dread at spending the day with a bunch of vampires. I smiled to myself at that thought. It had definitely been a long day. I snuggled further into the covers and closed my eyes. I remembered the feel of the gentle warmth of his hand stroking my cheek as I drifted off to sleep.

**Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Sorry it took me the whole weekend to post a chapter. I had writer's block and was having trouble getting the story to go where I wanted it. I hope you enjoy and I will try to update the next chapter sooner. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_It had definitely been a long day. I snuggled further into the covers and closed my eyes. I remembered the feel of the gentle warmth of his hand stroking my cheek as I drifted off to sleep._

Chapter 14

BANG! BANG! Startled awake by the sudden noise, I almost fell out of bed.

"Sydney, come on. Get up. They posted the volleyball team," Jill yelled through my door. I had almost forgotten that it was going to be posted today. The way Jill was acting, though, you would have thought it was her that had tried out for the team.

"I'll be right down!" I called back.

Rushing to get myself ready, I hurried down to the cafeteria to meet Jill. She was bubbling over with excitement, while Angeline looked at her as if she were being foolish.

"Come on. We need to get over to the gym to see if you made it," she said exuberantly.

"Okay, okay. Calm down. You are making me nervous," I said.

We decided not to wait for the shuttle and headed over to the gym on foot. On our way that direction, we ran into Trey who had come to find me.

"Are you going over to the gym to see if you made it?" he asked as he came up, giving me a slight hug and kiss on my forehead.

"Yes, I think Jill is going to explode if she doesn't find out," I said teasingly.

With Trey at my side, I slowed my pace and let Jill and Angeline go on ahead.

"So, how was your Thanksgiving?" I asked him. I had not seen him for a whole day. With all the time that we had been spending together up until then, I hadn't realized how odd not seeing him was. Looking back on my Thanksgiving, though, I really had not missed him. I was wondering if I should have felt differently.

"It was good. I told my dad about our final game of the season, since he wasn't able to make it. I think he was really proud of me," Trey said. I smiled at this. I knew Trey liked to make his dad proud.

"So, how was your Thanksgiving with the family?" he asked. I was never sure if he really knew who my 'family' was, but I also would not have been able to tell him considering my tattoo.

"It was good. We spent it at a Great Uncle's house," I said thinking back to last night. I remembered my time with Adrian. The way he looked at me. The way it stirred up emotions that I was trying to understand. Most of all, I thought about how odd Adrian seemed to think it was that I did not love Trey.

We walked the rest of the way to the gym in silence. Trey had his arm wrapped around my waist and I was leaning into him as we walked. It was nice being able to have this closeness with someone, but I wondered if it should mean more to me.

Jill had made it to the team roster before us, so she was already jumping up and down.

"You made it! You made it!" she squealed as she came running over and pulling me into a hug. It was unexpected, but I managed to hug her back and release her before my mind could react to her touching me.

Eddie and Micah were waiting by the roster as well. I guess they figured that would be the first place we would go in the morning. "The practice schedule is posted. It looks brutal," Eddie said. "You will be practicing every morning and afternoon. There will also be a game every Friday evening, starting next week."

Well, I knew that participating in a sport would be time consuming, I just hoped it wouldn't interfere with my Alchemist duties. They would not be happy about that.

"She will be able to manage," spoke up Trey full of confidence. "Sydney is one of the best managers of time around." I just shook my head to this. It wasn't exactly how I would like to be pictured, but he was right. Being an Alchemist gave me the discipline needed to achieve most tasks.

"So, what would you like to do your last school night of freedom, before you start down that path to volleyball stardom?" Trey asked jokingly.

That was when I remembered how I agreed to go to Sonya's that evening. "Well, actually I have a meeting around 5 pm that I need to go to, but we could get coffee before hand," I said hopeful that I didn't hurt his feelings by not spending the evening with him.

"Oh, okay. Coffee's great. Anything to spend some time with you," he replied with a smile, but it didn't seem to reach his eyes. Should I have been more concerned about his feelings? I brushed the thought off. I'm sure I was just imagining that I had hurt him.

The bell sounded for school to start, so Eddie, Trey, and I left everyone else and headed off to Ancient History. As Ms. Terwilliger gave her usual eccentric lecture regarding history, I kept thinking about what Adrian said about bothering if it wasn't love.

At one point, Ms. Terwilliger asked me a question and I had to have her repeat it, because I wasn't paying attention. The question of Trey and love was weighing heavy on my mind.

"What is up with you?" Eddie whispered to me.

I was startled out of my thoughts. "Nothing. Really," I said, but I could see the doubt on his face.

When class was over, it looked like Eddie wanted to talk, but when he saw Trey coming over, he just said that he would catch me later. Trey and I walked to AP Chemistry hand in hand, as we had been doing since we started dating. I was reminded of how comfortable it felt, but was that enough.

As I sat through class, I kept glancing over at Trey. I could pull up every reason as to why I was dating him, but none of them had to do with loving him. I had been so sure the other night, that people had relationships all the time with others they weren't in love with, but had I been wrong.

Is the feeling of love what brings people together, even if it is fleeting and doesn't last? Adrian had been serious about loving Rose only if it was briefly. He questioned how I could be in a relationship, if I had no feelings of love. I knew that my experience in these matters was limited, maybe I had it all wrong.

When lunch came, Eddie made a point to come find me. "Do you mind if I steal my sister away for a moment?" he said to Trey.

"No problem," Trey said and he went over and joined Jill and the others at their table. Eddie guided me over to a table far enough away to be private, but still within view of Jill. I always found it amazing how vigilant Eddie was.

"What's up 'brother'?" I said mocking his comment to Trey. I could tell by the way Eddie had spoke to Trey that he didn't need to speak to me about anything urgent concerning Jill, so I figured this must be social. Although, I was not quite sure what he would need to speak with me about socially.

"Well, um, okay. I know I'm not your brother or anything, but it just seemed like there was something wrong with you earlier and I thought maybe you would want to talk." Well, that was unexpected.

"I told you earlier that I was fine," I said dismissively.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't take a genius to see that you aren't fine. I can also guarantee that Jill is going to notice. I just thought maybe instead of getting sucked into some more uncomfortable girl time, you might want to open up to a guy."

I didn't say anything to this, so Eddie continued. "Is something going on with you and Trey? Has he done something to you, because I swear I will take care of it, even if you're not really my sister."

"No," I said emphatically. "He hasn't done anything. It's not that."

"Well then what is it? Last night when you left Adrian, you seemed so happy and then today when you are with Trey, you seem so distant." It was like watching a light bulb go on in someone's head when Eddie finished his statement, a connection that I certainly did not want anyone to see.

"Wait, is this about Adrian?" Eddie looked almost aghast. I thought it was funny that he seemed disgusted by the thought of Adrian and I, but was okay with Jill and Micah.

"It's not what you think. It was just something that Adrian said," I replied immediately. The last thing I needed was anyone thinking that there was anything going on with Adrian and me, because, well, there wasn't, right? Of course, I'm right, as I brushed the thought off.

"Okay, fine. I'll talk to you, but do not say anything to Jill. I don't need anymore girl talks," I said grudgingly. "You know how we talked before about romance and me not being an expert." I could tell by the look on his face that it was a conversation he wouldn't forget. "Well, do you think you are supposed to be in love with someone when you date them?"

Eddie seemed to be thinking this over. Was it really that hard of a question? I had answered Adrian so quickly the other day. "In a way, I guess so," he said. "I mean obviously it wouldn't always be true love, but your heart should be what guides you." Okay, not the answer I was looking for. I think he could tell from the look on my face.

"I mean, if you just like hanging out with someone, then you would call them a friend. If you have more than just friendly feelings towards them, then that would be because your heart was involved. Like with you and Trey, I'm sure that you feel like more than friends with him considering that you guys have kissed before." I blushed a little at his comment, but was he right? Did I have more than just friendly feelings towards Trey? I wasn't really sure.

Eddie took my silence for understanding. "So, even though it may not be true love, your heart is giving you that chance to have love for the moment." I didn't know how to tell him that I didn't think my heart was in it, so I changed the subject.

"So, how does this pertain to Jill and you exactly?" I asked watching his face flush.

"I've told you before, that what I feel for her is not something that I can act on. It falls under the lines of unrequited love. My heart still feels love for her that is more than friendship, but since I can't act on it, I go out of my way to make her happy. This is what I was talking about when I said you weren't an expert. When you are in love, the person you love's happiness is more important than your own. They should always come first. That is when you know it is true love." Eddie finished with a haunted look. I wanted to tell him that I've seen the way Jill looks at him and I don't think it is unrequited, but I knew he wouldn't want to hear that.

"Thanks Eddie. I appreciate the 'brotherly' advice," I said still trying to wrap my mind around it. I was sure that the feelings he described were not what I felt for Trey and my heart was not involved. At least, I didn't think so.

"Hey, anytime you need to talk I'm here sis," he said cheerily.

When the end of the day came, I met up with Trey and we headed off for that coffee. I hadn't seen him much since lunch and I was wondering if maybe he knew that something was off with me. We got our coffees and found a table off to the side at Spencer's.

"So, what did Eddie want to talk to you about earlier?" Trey asked.

"Oh, just brother stuff," I said not elaborating. He didn't push the subject. Instead, he turned our conversation to something that we had not discussed in awhile, but had been our original reason for getting to know each other.

"I know that I told you I would tell you more about the sorcerer and Alchemist relationship and I know that I haven't. I'm sorry about that. I really did want to talk to you about it, but every time we have been together I was more interested in getting to know you, than discussing business." He said this as if this could be why I was behaving differently towards him, like he hadn't lived up to his end of a bargain.

"That's okay," I said trying to be reassuring. I wasn't able to say anymore than this because of the tattoo, but I didn't want him to think that not speaking about it had caused me to treat him differently. I could tell he knew that my tattoo was stopping me, because he reached over and stroked it. Once again, it was a nice feeling, but it didn't invoke anything more than pleasantness and it certainly didn't feel the way that Adrian made me feel.

Trey continued, "Back in the day sorcerers and Alchemists were one in the same. They both used magic to further their experiments. Just as we both worked with vampire blood to extend our magic." I was trying to hide the shock from my face.

"Then, when vampires decided to start distancing themselves from humans, the Alchemists decided that their magic would be better used to hide vampires. Sorcerers did not agree. They felt that vampires would be better off contributing to society. This was also when the Keepers started separating from the Moroi." Again, I tried to hide the shock from my face. Clearly, Trey knew a lot about the hidden world I lived in.

"Now, sorcerers work with the Keepers, probably more than the Alchemists do. The Alchemists seem to forget, that without the help of vampires and their blood, they would not be where they are today. Sorcerers have not forgotten this. Occasionally, higher up Alchemists will consult with the sorcerers regarding new formulas that had been created and selectively choose what they pass on to the other ranks of Alchemists."

That was when it hit me. The only records I would probably ever find regarding magic would be the records of when new formulas were put into use. The Alchemists always acted like the formulas were some great discovery, but they were spells that had been taken from sorcerers.

It made me wonder what formulas were out there. If there were forgotten ones that would help aid in the fight against Strigoi or help prevent Strigoi conversion.

"Thank you, Trey. I appreciate you talking to me," I said with a smile. I leaned over to give him a peck on the cheek to show my appreciation and he turned at that moment and pulled me into a full on kiss.

It wasn't gentle like all the other times had been. It was as if he was searching for something in that kiss. When he pulled away, the look on his face was of disappointment. I was guessing that he did not find what he was looking for.

At that moment, when he had pulled away, I noticed Adrian standing off by the door as if he had just come in. Trey followed my gaze over to Adrian and then turned back to me. "I actually have to get to work. I decided to take an evening shift, since you said you had a meeting," Trey said. He got up from the table and kissed my forehead before heading behind the counter and into the back.

I had no idea what the look on my face was, but Adrian seemed hesitant to come over.

"Hey, Sage, so what was that?" Adrian asked gesturing to Trey's departure.

I was still flustered from everything that Trey had said and the way he kissed me, so I snapped at him. "What do you think it looked like? I was spending time with my boyfriend." I wasn't sure the boyfriend part was true anymore. That kiss from Trey had felt like goodbye and even if I didn't love him, it still hurt.

"Yeah, I can see that. I was talking more about the auras that were all over the place," he said as if I hadn't just snapped at him.

"Well, considering I can't see auras, I wouldn't know what you are talking about," I said defensively. I was a mess and I knew it.

"I need to get some air," I said getting up from the table and leaving Adrian behind. Of course, that didn't last long because he simply followed. I walked a short distance away and turned into an alley. It wasn't the safest place to be, but I just wanted to get away from people walking by. I leaned back against the brick wall of the building and closed my eyes. I could feel Adrian there watching me.

I tried to get my breathing under control. If we had just broken up and I was pretty sure that we had, well it was not as if I loved him, right? Without opening my eyes I said, "What did you need Adrian?" I just couldn't look at him.

I felt him move close and I knew he was in front of me. "Sage, it's okay," he said in a gentle voice and that was all it took. I leaned into him and let the tears fall and he wrapped his arms around me. He held me like that for several minutes as I tried to regain my composure.

As I pulled away, he took his hands and gently wiped away my tears.

"Was that love?" I asked him as I sniffled.

He nodded his head in confirmation.

"But, you said I didn't love him," I responded meekly.

"No, you said you didn't love him. If you hadn't have loved him, you wouldn't have bothered," Adrian said sincerely.

I leaned back into him, trying not to continue to cry. "You think that this is worth it," I said into his chest.

"As fleeting as it was, you have to admit it felt good to feel needed. To have that someone that made you feel at ease," he said into my hair as he held me close. I knew he was speaking from experience.

What Eddie had said to me though, about true love came to mind. "But if it was true love, then I would have been more concerned about making him happy, rather than feeling good myself," I said as if the realization of how many different kinds of love there were had just come to me.

"Why yes Sage that may be true, but just because it wasn't true love, doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt any less. It just means it is easier to get over," Adrian said with the expertise of someone who has lost love many times.

I pulled myself together. He was right. It hurt, but I would be able to get over it. I had been preparing myself for this all day, I think. It wasn't until I was able to get my emotions into check, that my mind was able to seep back in and boy was it screaming at me for letting Adrian hold me the way that he was.

I backed away from his embrace even though my body was not ready to let it go. "So, what are you doing here anyway?" I asked him.

"Well, Jill had called me to tell me that you made the volleyball team and said that you and Trey were going out for coffee to celebrate. I just figured that I would stop by and offer you my congratulations and see if you wanted to ride together over to Sonya's"

I looked at him a little skeptically. "So, you decided to catch a bus out to here just for that?"

His usual lazy smile was back in place as he said, "Well, that and I might have missed the bus that would take me over to Sonya's."

I chuckled at that. "Fine, I'll give you a ride." As we headed off to Sonya's I was already starting to forget about how I reacted to Trey. I had too many thoughts about sorcerers and Alchemists floating around to stay focused on the break-up. I was sure, though, that it would sink in more, later.

**Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I had too many thoughts about sorcerers and Alchemists floating around to stay focused on the break-up. I was sure, though, that it would sink in more, later._

Chapter 15

We arrived at Sonya's a little before 5 pm. Sonya cheerfully greeted us at the door, while Dimitri remained on the couch reading one of his beloved western novels. He nodded as a simple greeting towards us. It seemed like a common greeting from him to avoid verbal confrontation with Adrian. I wondered if they had been able to have a civil conversation since Dimitri arrived.

"I ordered pizza again. I hope you are hungry," Sonya said.

Considering I had not really eaten anything since lunch, I was actually a little. "Thanks. That was very kind of you," I replied politely.

Adrian disappeared into the kitchen leaving me in the living room with Sonya and Dimitri. I wondered if that was where he spent most of his visits.

I had brought my laptop with me, just in case I felt compelled to let them see the formulas that I had found on the Alchemist's database, so I asked if I could go into the kitchen to set it up. Sonya politely nodded and I went to the kitchen as well.

I found Adrian sitting at the table with a glass of water looking over papers that had to do with their research.

"So, is this where you retreat to as soon as you get here?" I asked casually.

"Why? Are you actually worried about an evil creature of the night like me, Sage?" Adrian said with a rye smile.

"Oh, don't get too full of yourself. I just want to make sure that you are being a productive part of this research," I quipped back with a smirk. I needed this ridiculous banter right now. It made everything that had happened earlier at Spencer's seem less important, made it hurt a little less.

"No need to worry. My part of the research is always the most productive part," he said with a glint in his eyes. I just shook my head and laughed to myself as I set up my laptop across from him.

When I looked up at him, I could tell he was assessing my aura. I couldn't help it when I said, "Like what you see?" After I said it, I realized just how seductively I had said it. Clearly, Adrian did not miss the tone because he raised his eyebrows at me in response. I blushed a little at this. I had not meant to sound like that.

"Well Sage, I certainly can't complain about the view of your aura or you," he said with a sly smile. My cheeks heated further to this. I looked back down at my laptop and began to log into the Alchemist database. I desperately hoped he would find something else to talk about, so that I would not be required to respond.

Still not looking at him, I heard him chuckle to himself. I wondered what my aura did look like at that moment, but, then again, I probably did not want to know.

Well, since he didn't feel the need to say anything else, I decided that I would just change the subject. Adrian was usually good about rolling with that. "Today, Trey told me more about the sorcerer and Alchemist relationship." Adrian met my eyes with curiosity and I knew I had effectively changed the subject.

"Do you want to discuss this with Sonya?" he asked, as if I would have the choice. It was nice that he did not want me to feel obligated, but I knew that I needed to share this information with them. Even if my loyalties lied with the Alchemists, this information was too important to keep to myself. Besides, it wasn't as if the Alchemists had been the ones to actually supply me with this information.

"Yes. I think it is important and it might help with your research regarding preventing Strigoi or even maybe just fighting against them," I replied. Adrian smiled at me.

"Be careful, Sage. Someone might think you do actually care about us evil creatures of the night," he retorted. I knew he was just being his usual playful self, but it hit a little close to home. Did I care about them more than I should? On the other hand, maybe I shouldn't worry about how I feel about them, considering the lies the Alchemists had already told me.

Adrian startled me out of my thoughts when he placed his hand on mine. I looked up and met his gaze. His gorgeous eyes drew me in like they always did.

At that moment, a knock sounded at the apartment door and I knew the pizza had arrived. As Sonya came in to let us know that the pizza was there, Adrian moved his hand away and broke our gaze. She hesitated before going back out to the living room, as if she were reading our auras before she left.

I told Adrian I would be right there, as he stood to go eat with Sonya and Dimitri. I just needed a moment to get my thoughts in order. He left me without question.

When I went out to the living room, Sonya and Dimitri were sitting on the couch eating and discussing the latest book that Dimitri was reading. Adrian had taken a seat on the floor in front of the coffee table. I sat down next to him as he handed me a slice of pizza.

I took it thinking of the first time I had been there and the bargain we had made. Looking over at Adrian, I smiled. It had been a long time since I had seen him smoke a cigarette. He really was trying to be a better man.

Adrian glanced over out of the corner of his eye, catching me staring at him. I immediately turned my attention back to my pizza.

I actually managed to eat two slices, which really was a record for me. I guess I had been hungry.

Adrian couldn't help but give me a look of mock horror at reaching for the second slice. "You better be careful there, Sage. I'm not sure your stomach can handle to have that much food in it at one time. It might cause it to go into shock," he joked.

I playfully elbowed him in the side and he doubled over as if I had punched him. I couldn't help but laugh at his antics. It felt really good to smile. I was pretty sure that I hadn't done much of that today.

When we were finished eating, Sonya, Adrian and I moved to the kitchen to discuss their research. Once seated, I went into the story of what Trey had told me today. I explained to Sonya that Trey was a sorcerer and that my first realization of magic being performed by Alchemists had come from him. Sonya stayed silent through my story taking it all in.

"So, I take it you believe this Trey person," Sonya stated. I had not told her that I had actually been dating Trey, so I could understand her questioning his credibility.

"Yes, I do," I said without further explanation and she seemed to take that as all the assurance she needed. I thought it was amazing how easily she would trust what I said, considering Alchemists and vampires did not have the best relationship. I wished it were that easy for me to trust someone.

Adrian eyed our interaction while remaining silent. It felt like he was more there for support rather than to actually contribute, but I had to admit I felt more comfortable with him there. I knew this was wrong. I should not feel comfortable around him.

"Have you looked to see if there are any other formulas that would help fight against Strigoi?" Sonya asked me.

"No. To be honest, I just found out this information prior to coming here, so I haven't had time to look into it." My earlier time with Trey started coming back and I felt my chest begin to hurt as I remembered how we left things between us.

Sonya was too consumed by her own thoughts of magic to notice that something was bothering me, but I could see Adrian watching.

"I'm not really sure that I would know what to look for as far as magic is concerned," I said trying to go on as if nothing was bothering me. "I was thinking that you could look through the formula database that we have and see if you could find anything that stuck out." I knew that I was going to get in so much trouble if the Alchemists found out I allowed a vampire to look through our private files, but I figured this would be the fastest way to get any answers.

This brought Sonya out of her thoughts. "Are you sure about this, Sydney?" she asked gesturing towards my laptop. "I doubt that would be allowed." I saw the concern for me in her eyes, but I had already made my decision.

"I'm sure," I simply replied. "I need to get something out of my car, but I will be right back. Go ahead and start looking. I already brought up the formulas." I got up and excused myself from the apartment.

By the time I got down to Latte, my chest had started aching badly from the memories of the way Trey had kissed me. It felt like goodbye, but Trey had not said that. Knowing that my experience was limited in these matters, I was wondering if I had overreacted. Maybe the realization that I had actually loved him was what was causing me to overreact.

Once again, I could feel Adrian behind me. I leaned my forehead against Latte and fought the tears that were threatening to fall. I was determined not to cry when I did not even know if I should be.

We stood like this in silence for several minutes as I slowed my breathing and got my emotions under control. Adrian never moved any closer to me. He just stood watching. When I turned, I could see the concern in his eyes, even though he did not speak.

"I'm fine," I answered to a question he didn't ask.

"You will be," he said with more confidence than I felt.

I just simply nodded and went to head back up to the apartment. Adrian walked back up with me in silence.

Once we had gotten back upstairs, Sonya had found several formulas that could be effective in fighting Strigoi. They were very old variations on the formulas that we used to clean up Strigoi bodies. I had never seen them before, so I was not sure if they worked, but I could not see why they wouldn't work. The science seemed accurate and they looked feasible.

It was getting late, so I agreed to meet with Sonya and Adrian again to try some of the formulas tomorrow. I was going to have to take Jill over to Clarence's any way for a feeding, so we could go back to Sonya's afterwards and perform a few experiments.

As I drove Adrian back to his place, he remained silent. I wondered what he was thinking about. He hadn't said much at all after we had eaten dinner, so when we got to his place, he surprised me when he spoke.

"Do you want to come in for a little bit or are you in a hurry to get back?" It wasn't until he asked that I realized he had never actually invited me in before. Normally, I just showed up on his doorstep. I actually was not ready to head back to school, so, whether I should have accepted or not, I did.

"No, I'm not in any hurry," I said as I parked. We got out and walked up to his building in silence. I was not sure what I was doing there. I really should not have accepted his offer, but he had never offered before and for some reason I did not want to leave him yet.

Once inside his apartment, he walked towards the kitchen. "Want anything to drink? I have Diet Coke. You like that don't you?" Adrian asked. I guessed he remembered seeing me drink that before at Clarence's.

"Sure. That would be great," I replied, as I remained standing at the door. As I stood there, I remembered the last time I had shown up. His living room had been covered with canvases of me. There was no sign of them as I looked around now.

When Adrian returned with my drink, I had not moved from my spot. He gestured towards the couch as he handed me my drink. "You can sit, you know. It's safe."

I did not know why I was reacting this way. I had been around Adrian several times, since I had seen his breakdown, but I had not been back to his place since then. I tried to snap myself out of it. "I know it's safe. Sorry, I was just thinking about something," I said.

As we sat on the couch together, Adrian turned on the television. I wasn't paying attention to what was on. I just kept looking around. What had happened to all of those paintings? Had he just thrown them out? Were there paintings of me, or worse paintings of Adrian and me, out in a public dump somewhere?

"What are you thinking about?" Adrian asked, bringing me out of my worries.

I couldn't resist. I needed to know. "What happened to all those paintings you did of me?" The look on his face was unreadable, I wasn't sure if I had offended him by asking. I felt the need to offer an explanation. "I just wouldn't want them to be seen by the Alchemists." His expression was still unreadable, as if he were lost in his own thoughts. I was now worried that mentioning them had caused some kind of lapse.

"Adrian?" I asked nervously. That brought his focus back to my face. His facial expression started to relax as we gazed into each other's eyes.

As he broke the gaze and turned back towards the television, he said "No need to worry, Sage. They are safe and sound in my bedroom." I wasn't sure if that was cause to worry or not. I was relieved that they weren't out somewhere in public, but his bedroom seemed almost too private of a place for them to be.

"Could I see them?" I was not sure why I was asking. Maybe it was to reassure myself that his walls weren't covered with paintings of me.

He looked over at me as if he were trying to see what my motives were and shrugged. I got up and went to his bedroom. Adrian didn't follow me. I braced myself as I went through the door, but found that I was worried for nothing.

In the corner of his room, there was a stack of paintings leaning against the wall. The one of us lying on the couch together was in front. I walked over to the paintings and flipped through them. They were gorgeous. He was an amazing artist and he made me look more beautiful than I really was in every canvas.

I had stopped on the painting of us kissing. It was the last one in the stack. The painting looked so real, that I could almost feel his lips on mine again. Adrian came up behind me, while I was staring at the painting.

"That one is my favorite," he said softly. I jumped a little at being caught staring at that particular painting. I hadn't realized that I had put my hand to my lips, as if I could still feel his there. I tried to find my voice.

"If it is your favorite, then why is it at the back," I said trying to act as if it had no effect on me whatsoever.

When he didn't respond, I turned to look at him. He was so close to me. My body took over again. My hand that had been touching my lips reached out and touched his. Our eyes locked as I ran my thumb across his lips, while my other fingers rested on his cheek. Neither one of us seemed to be breathing. I wanted to press my lips to his so bad, but I knew it was wrong.

I let my mind take control and I broke the gaze and stepped back. When I moved my hand away from him, I could still feel the warmth on my fingertips. The silence that filled the room just then felt crushing. I didn't know where to go from there, so I decided to walk out of the room in hopes that we could leave that moment behind.

Adrian followed me to the living room. As we sat back down on the couch, Adrian seemed happy to move on from our awkward moment. "Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked.

I mentally debated my options. After what I had just been feeling, my mind was screaming at me to leave, but my body wasn't ready to go. I could have easily used the excuse regarding curfew, but instead I gave in to my bodies needs. I decided it wouldn't hurt to remain close to Adrian. It was not as if anything was going to happen or at least that was what my body kept trying to tell my mind.

"Sure. Just let me call Mrs. Weathers to let her know that I will be returning past curfew," I said. I got up and went into the kitchen to make my call. When I came back out Adrian had found some black and white movie that had just started.

I sat down on the couch next to him and tried to focus on the movie. As the night went on, I kept glancing over at Adrian out of the corner of my eye. He seemed really engrossed in the movie. I started to relax and focus more on the movie.

It was a classic romance, where all the stars looked perfect and glamorous. The movie ended with the usual Hollywood happy ending. Throughout the movie, I kept thinking about my own romance life or whatever it was. I certainly had not had my happy ending with Trey.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts regarding Trey and what may or may not have happened, that I did not realize that Adrian had asked me a question.

"Sage?"

"Huh?" I said, looking over at Adrian.

"I asked if you wanted to watch another movie or if you needed to go?" Adrian asked again with a hint of concern in his eyes.

"Oh, another movie would be great," I said. I wasn't really tired yet and I was afraid to be left alone with my thoughts back in my bed at Amberwood.

Adrian started another movie, but I could feel him eyeing me every so often. I finally decided that maybe I would just be better off talking to him.

Without looking at him, I asked, "Did Trey and I break-up?"

"What do you mean?" he responded a little surprised.

I turned towards him. "I mean, did we break-up? When he walked away at the coffee shop, that was what it felt like, but he never said it. Then you seemed to react as if that was what happened when you talked to me, so I just wanted to know for sure."

Adrian still seemed in shock and took a moment to respond. "Honestly, Sage, I don't know."

"What!" I exclaimed. "How could you not know? You were the one to tell me that I would be able to get over him. If we hadn't broken up, then what would there be to get over."

Adrian remained calm next to me. "I was just responding to what I saw in your aura. That was what your aura showed me. I didn't pay attention to his. You truly believed that he was breaking up with you. Whether he was or not, I don't know."

I didn't know what to say. All evening, I had been battling with emotions that might have only existed in my head. What if he hadn't broken up with me, but by not calling him or making an effort to see him, I had caused problems. I was so confused.

"What do you see now?" I asked Adrian trying to calm down.

"What do you mean?" he replied.

"Damn it, Adrian," I swore. "What do you see now with my aura?"

"Sage, your aura shows the emotions that you are displaying at the time. It is not like a crystal ball that can tell your future or see the past," he said. His calm was beginning to break and I could see he was getting frustrated with me. "I think you know what you are feeling now, so there is no need for me to tell you."

He was right. I knew exactly what I was feeling. I was angry. If Adrian had never shown up at Spencer's, maybe Trey and I would have been able to talk. Maybe, I wouldn't have thought that Trey had broken up with me.

I think I knew deep down that it really wasn't Adrian's fault, but I didn't want to believe it. I had already thought that maybe Trey and I weren't right for each other before we had gone to Spencer's. Then again, I wouldn't have thought that if Adrian hadn't brought up the question of love.

What bothered me most was that Adrian had this kind of affect on me. Whenever I spent time with him, it was never easy. My emotions were always up and down.

I realized we were still glaring at each other. Maybe it was time for me to leave. I knew I was angry and he certainly did not look calm anymore. I looked away trying to relax. I didn't want to fight with Adrian. If I was honest with myself, he had truly become one of my closest friends.

"I think I'm going to go," I said. My voice trembled when I spoke. I had too many emotions running through me. I was angry, but I was upset that I had made him angry. I wished it hadn't bothered me, but it had. I remembered seeing his breakdown. I was scared that I might cause that again.

He reached over and took my hand. I did not dare look at him. "Stay," he said. His voice seemed to tremble too, as if he were trying to get his emotions under control as well.

By way of response, I did not move. Adrian moved closer to me on the couch and put his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him and placed my head on his chest. We sat like that, as we continued watching the movie together. I felt us both relax into each other as time went on. By the time the movie ended, I was sure we had both calmed down.

"I better go now," I turned to him moving out of his embrace. "I just told Mrs. Weathers that I would be late, not that I wasn't coming."

"Okay," he said.

When I reached the door, Adrian said, "Sage?"

"Hmm," I replied turning back.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you question you and Trey. If he makes you happy, that is all that I want for you," he said, not meeting my eyes.

Every part of my body wanted to go back to him and hug him, maybe even kiss him, but my mind knew I shouldn't do that. I simply said, "Thank you," and turned and left.

**Sorry for any errors. Please R & R. :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Thank you for the lovely reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Every part of my body wanted to go back to him and hug him, maybe even kiss him, but my mind knew I shouldn't do that. I simply said, "Thank you," and turned and left._

Chapter 16

The next morning, we met Eddie and Micah in our building's cafeteria for breakfast.

"Trey wanted me to tell you that he had to work today, so he probably wouldn't see you," Eddie said. I could tell he wasn't sure how this news would be received. Eddie didn't know about our time at Spencer's, but he did know that I had been concerned about our feelings.

"Oh, okay," I responded casually. I was actually rather happy. If Trey wanted to let me know where he was, maybe that did mean that I had overreacted. Maybe there was still a chance we could work out whatever problems we were having.

With this newfound hope, I excused myself and headed back to my room. Since I was going to work on an experiment later with Sonya and Adrian, I figured that if I pulled everything together now, I might be able to run over and see Trey for a little bit. I knew we needed to talk and I was afraid waiting any longer might make things worse.

When I was sure that I had everything I needed for later, I finished some other schoolwork that I had to complete over the weekend. I even moved ahead in some of my classes, knowing that volleyball would soon be consuming a vast majority of my free time.

As soon as I had completed everything that I could, I headed off to see Ms. Terwilliger. I had finished the notes from the last book that she gave me and I wanted to return it.

"Ah, Miss Melrose, are you bearing gifts of coffee?" Ms. Terwilliger asked as she looked up from her work that was lying all over her desk. It was funny how every time I would see her, she would act as if nothing odd had ever happened the last time we spoke.

"No ma'am," I responded politely. I knew that the last time we had spoken privately, I had been very disrespectful and I was determined not to have a repeat of it. "I just wanted to return your book and give you the notes."

She took the notes and looked them over. "As always, these are beautifully done." She set them aside and started reaching for a new book. Before she could hand it to me, I spoke.

"Um, actually ma'am, I was wondering if I could take a break for a little while," I said.

Ms. Terwilliger eyed me cautiously as she set the book down. "Is there a problem with the assignment? I thought you were okay with doing the research."

"Oh, I am. That is not the problem. It is just that I made the volleyball team and it is going to take up a lot of my time. I wouldn't be able to devote the time necessary to do your research properly," I said. "I just want to take a break until the season is over. I promise to start right back up when it is done."

"Oh, is that all," she seemed relieved. "For a second I was wondering if something had happened between you and Mr. Juarez." Her comment startled me. I had been working so hard to remain professional, but as usual, she crossed the line into personal.

"What do you mean?" I asked trying to keep my tone light.

"Mr. Juarez came to me earlier today and asked if he could switch his aid position to second period. I was just surprised, since that would mean that he wouldn't be seeing you then." I had trouble keeping the look of shock off my face. "I'm sure it had nothing to do with you," she tried to say reassuringly. "He said that his schedule was being changed around because a class he had wanted to take had opened up."

"He hadn't mentioned that to me," I said still in shock. When I focused back on Ms. Terwilliger, I could see she was concerned. I just needed to get out of there, so that I could think things through. "So, is the break from the research okay?" I asked again.

"Sure, my dear," she replied politely.

As soon as I was out of her office, I found a quiet hallway and sat down. If Trey was switching his aid period to second period that meant that he was moving out of AP Chemistry with me as well. Maybe things weren't as okay between us as I thought.

All I knew was that I really needed to speak with him. It had gotten late, so I went to find Jill. I would need to take her over to Clarence's, before I could go see Trey.

I found them outside doing their usual training. Jill was squaring off against Angeline, while Micah and Eddie stood by and watched. Jill had actually gotten rather good. Angeline never held back, so Jill really had to work at fighting back.

"Hey guys, are you ready to head out?" I asked. Angeline looked over when I spoke and Jill took the opportunity to strike out when her guard was down. It was rather amusing. Angeline even seemed to look pleased that Jill had taken the opening.

"Sure," Jill said as she moved back from Angeline, making sure not to give her the opening to retaliate. Micah took his cue to leave, as usual, not wanting to be caught up in our odd religious habits.

As we headed out to Latte, I said, "Do you mind if I drop you guys off at Clarence's? I was going to stop in and see Trey for a little bit. I promise not to be too long."

"I don't mind," said Jill as she looked at the others. "Not a problem here," said Eddie. Angeline just seemed to shrug as if she didn't care, either way.

When I pulled up to Clarence's, I let everyone out and left. I decided that I did not want to risk seeing Adrian. He could always tell when something was up with me and I wasn't sure how I was feeling right then. The last thing I needed was to be worried over what Adrian saw in my aura.

When I arrived at Spencer's, I did not see Trey behind the counter. I did recognize the other person working, so I went and asked if they knew where Trey was. They informed me that Trey had taken his dinner break, but would be back shortly. I knew he liked to go to the sub shop down the street, so I decided to go find him. I figured we would have more time to talk if he was on his break anyway.

When I walked in, I saw Trey sitting up at the counter. I walked up beside him, but he didn't seem to notice I was there.

"Hi," I said quietly, as I sat down on the stool beside him.

He looked over at me and smiled, but it wasn't the smile I was used to. "Hi," he responded.

"Um, could we talk?" I asked unsure of how he was going to respond.

"Sure," he said looking back towards his sandwich.

I looked around us. We were right in the middle of everyone. I noticed an empty table off in the corner. "Do you think we could move over there?" I asked gesturing towards it.

In way of response, he picked up his sandwich and drink and started heading towards the table. I followed behind him. This was not going at all how I had pictured things. Originally, I had thought that there was hope, but now it seemed that my thoughts from yesterday might have been correct.

As we sat, he continued to eat. I knew he was waiting for me to talk, but I wasn't sure how to start this conversation. "Ms. Terwilliger mentioned that you would be moving your aid period," I said hoping that this would prompt him.

He just nodded.

"She said that there was a class that had opened up," I continued.

Again, he just nodded.

"So, I guess we won't have any classes together anymore," I said realizing that my hope was gone. Trey met my eyes. His eyes seemed sad and I am sure mine mirrored his.

"What did I do?" I asked meekly. Looking at him, my heart started to ache. I really did love him and no matter how true that love was, I wasn't ready to give it up. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes and looked away. He gently put his hand to my cheek and turned me back towards him. I could see that he was just as upset as I was.

"It's nothing that you did," he said softly. "I just think that we are in two different places right now. I want nothing more than to make you happy, but I don't think that I can."

I knew that a tear had slipped down my cheek. What was he talking about? Up until I had started to worry about whether I loved him or not, I had been happy.

"I don't understand," I said, fighting back more tears from falling.

"Sydney, I know who your 'family' is. I know that they are not related. I saw the way you looked at him, after I kissed you," he said with such sadness in his eyes. I was wrapping my mind around the fact that Trey had realized who everyone was, that I almost missed his comment about the way I looked at him.

"What are you talking about?" I said defensively. I was still upset, but I didn't like where this was going.

"Your 'brother', the way you looked at him yesterday," he repeated with a little more certainty. "I knew when I met you that a relationship between us, a sorcerer and an Alchemist, might be tricky, but we're both humans. It wouldn't be taboo in any way."

His expression seemed to darken, as his sadness seemed to turn bitter. "But an Alchemist and a Moroi relationship, that crosses lines that I never thought you would cross."

I knew I had a look of shock on my face. He was no longer touching my cheek. I tried to explain myself or say anything, but the tattoo stopped me. All I could get out was, "I'd never."

I'm not sure what he saw when he looked at me, but his bitterness turned sad again. "Sydney, I know what I saw, even if you don't realize it. Just promise me that you will be careful. The sorcerers and Keepers tolerate these kinds of things, but the Alchemists do not. I'd never want anything bad to happen to you."

I was so frustrated. I was unable to defend anything to him. How could he think that I had feelings for Adrian? I would never cross that line. Damn tattoo. The worst part was that Trey knew I couldn't respond to what he said.

"Trey," I said as he stood to leave. He leaned down to me and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. Then he moved closer to my ear. "If you ever need anything, I will be around," he whispered. It sent shivers down my spine and I knew that more tears had slid down my cheeks. He kissed away a tear as he said, "Goodbye Sydney," and then he left.

When I made it back to Clarence's, I knew that a good bit of time had passed. I had pulled myself together in the car ride over and hoped that any sign of our actual break-up was no longer visible.

This time there was no question in my mind whether it had occurred or not. The problem was why it had occurred. I did not have feelings for Adrian and he did not have feelings for me. We both felt the same way about humans and vampires mixing. It hurt losing Trey, but it hurt worse having him think that I was that kind of person.

"Hey guys," I said as I walked into Clarence's living room. Jill, Eddie, and Angeline were on the couch watching television. "Did Sonya, Adrian, and Dimitri make it?"

"They just left not too long ago," Jill said. "Sonya wanted to get back to some research she was working on. She just asked if you would stop by later."

"Oh, okay," I said. "Well, I'll just drop you guys back off at the school and then head over there."

"If you want, you can just come back for us. We were just getting ready to watch a movie," Jill said hopefully. Dorothy came in just then with a bowl of popcorn for them. I hadn't realized how close Jill was sitting next to Eddie until just then. I could tell she didn't want to have to move away yet. If only Eddie would notice how much he means to her.

"Yes that's fine," I smiled at her. "I won't be too long and if you need me back sooner, just give me a call." Jill just smiled and nodded in response. I could tell she would not be calling.

As I drove over to Sonya's, I thought about how nice it would be to see Eddie and Jill together. Eddie had tried to explain to me that their relationship would be just as wrong as a human and a vampire because of Jill's status, but I still couldn't see it. At least they were both vampires. Why did relationships have to be so hard?

Before I could knock on Sonya's door, Adrian answered it. The last time he had done that, he was going out for a cigarette. I had been so proud of his behavior lately, that I wasn't sure I could handle it if that was what he was doing.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked hoping for a better answer than the first time I had asked that.

Adrian held up his cell phone. "I didn't. I was just stepping out to call you." I was so relieved that he wasn't stepping out for a smoke that I hugged him. Realizing what I was doing, I quickly released him and stepped back. Adrian studied me, as if he would be able to see what came over me. Then he stepped back to let me enter.

If Dimitri or Sonya had seen me hug Adrian, they were not looking at us now. I was relieved that it seemed to go unnoticed. I wasn't sure what had compelled me to do it anyway.

"I brought my Alchemist kit with me," I said. "I think I have everything if we want to try that one formula."

Sonya got up from the couch, where she had been working on her research. "Good, good. Why don't we set it up on the counter in the kitchen?" she said enthusiastically.

I followed Sonya to the kitchen with Adrian close behind. I asked Adrian to start my laptop up while I set out the chemicals needed. Sonya perused the items in my kit with fascination. "You have some interesting specimens here," she said. "It never occurred to you before that any of these items might have been magical?"

I knew she was just being curious, but it hurt. I did not like being considered naïve and that was exactly what I had been. "No, it hadn't. Only the vampire blood that we used for our tattoos," I said masking my feelings.

Adrian stood up, so that I could sit at my laptop. I logged into the database and located the formula that we had picked. The formula was essentially stronger than the one we used to disintegrate Strigoi bodies. It was supposed to be able to disintegrate Strigoi's before they had been staked.

After an hour, we had it complete. The directions were as painstakingly precise as the ones for the incineration amulet that I had created for Ms. Terwilliger.

"Now that we have completed the formula, I'm not sure how we will test it," I said to Sonya.

"Why don't you keep it with you," she said handing it to me. I was not exactly sure why I would need a Strigoi fighting potion. I think she could see my confusion. "I just think it would be best for you to keep this in your possession. It is an Alchemist compound after all." I guess I could see her point. I took it and stuffed it into my purse with my other alchemist vials.

"I better go and pick up Jill, Eddie, and Angeline. They decided to wait for me at Clarence's," I said. I turned to Adrian, "Do you need a ride home?"

"That would be great," he replied with a smile. He had been silent through the majority of the experiment, only doing things when asked. He even left to sit in the living room with Dimitri at one point. I never heard any arguing, so they must have at least gotten along.

As we drove over to Clarence's, Adrian broke the silence. "Jill said that you went to see Trey earlier."

I just nodded. I had spent the evening so engrossed in our experiment, that I had forgotten all about what had happened. Now with Adrian asking, I realized that I was not ready to talk about it. Besides, what could I really say? Trey had broken up with me because he thought I had feelings for Adrian. I certainly could not say that to him. What would he think?

"Do you want to talk about it?" Adrian asked.

"What's to talk about," I said. "It didn't work out and we broke up." I hoped my flat comment would end the conversation. It seemed to work. He didn't mention it again.

At Clarence's we found Jill curled up asleep next to Eddie, while him and Angeline were watching a movie. She looked so adorable next to Eddie. I wished there was something I could do to convince him to let her know how he felt.

Jill must have been able to sense Adrian's closeness, because she seemed to wake up without being stirred. As she slowly was opening her eyes, a smile had spread across her face. "Adrian, your back," she said as she stretched.

"It's good to see you too, Jailbait. Sage is giving me a ride home," Adrian responded fondly. Next to Eddie, Adrian was the most protective of her. It was a side of Adrian that always warmed my heart to see.

"Do you think you could drop us off first?" asked Eddie. "I think Jill needs to get some rest."

"Sure," I replied with a smile. I wished they would just give in to their feelings.

As I dropped them off at Amberwood, I ran in to let Mrs. Weathers know that I needed to take my brother back to his place and then I would be back. She gave me her usual irritated speech about obeying curfews, but let me go like always. There really wasn't much she could say. I was eighteen and I was essentially with family.

When we pulled up to his place, Adrian did not get out. Instead, he turned toward me. "Sage, what happened with Trey?"

"Adrian, I don't want to talk about," I said with a sigh. I saw his hand move as if he was going to touch me, but he stopped himself.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I looked into his eyes and my breath caught. No, I could not have feelings for him. It was not possible. I knew better than to have feelings of any kind for a vampire.

I broke our gaze. "I'll be fine," I said trying to pull myself together.

This time, he didn't hesitate as he reached out and touched my cheek. I closed my eyes, afraid of what I would feel if I looked into his again. "I'm sure you will be," he said softly. He removed his hand and I heard the car door open and close. When I opened my eyes, he was already at his door. I watched as he went in.

As I drove back to Amberwood, I kept telling myself that Trey was wrong. There was no way I had feelings for Adrian. The fact that my cheek still felt warm where he touched it had nothing to do with me having feelings for him.

**Sorry for any mistakes. Please R & R. Comments are always welcome. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews and alerts. They are greatly appreciated. Here is another pre-weekend chapter. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_There was no way I had feelings for Adrian. The fact that my cheek still felt warm where he touched it had nothing to do with me having feelings for him._

Chapter 17

I laid in bed trying to find a reason to get out of it. It was Sunday and I didn't have anything pressing to do. When Jill came by to ask if I wanted to go down to breakfast, I simply told her that I wasn't feeling well.

Truth was, I hadn't slept much the night before. My dreams were filled with images of Trey and Adrian. Why had Trey thought I had feelings for Adrian? Why did Adrian make me so emotional?

I remained in my room until the evening, oscillating between my bed and trying to function on my computer. I thought that searching through formulas would be a good use of my time, but it was hard to concentrate.

A knock sounded at my door around dinnertime. It was Jill. "Sydney, may I come in, please?" she asked softly. When I answered, she was alone. "Sure, come in," I responded.

Jill sat down on the edge of my bed. "Are you okay? You haven't come out of your room all day."

"I'm feeling better," I lied. She didn't buy it.

"Adrian told me about you and Trey," Jill said apprehensively. By the look in her eyes, I could tell she was worried about me. "He wanted me to make sure…" I held up my hand cutting her off.

"You both do not need to worry about me," I said firmly. I was confused enough about my emotions. The last thing I wanted to hear was that Adrian was worried about me.

I had been trying to figure out how I felt about him all day. Yes, whether I should have or not, I did consider him a friend. It was all the additional mixed up emotions that I did not understand. Adding Adrian's concern to the mix just added to my emotions.

"Sydney, what happened between you and Trey?" she insisted. "You two were so happy together before Thanksgiving. What could have changed?" If only she knew how messed up love really was. Everyone always thought that I was the naïve one, but Jill had love right in front of her face and never seemed to see it. Of course, according to Trey, I had it right in front of mine too.

"Jill, things just didn't work out. We decided that friendship would be better."

"If that were true, you wouldn't have locked yourself away in your room," she said. "You would have hung out with us and Trey would have been there as well." I had a feeling Jill was right. Maybe, I was the one who was naïve about love.

Regardless of which one of us was being more naïve about our feelings, she was right. I couldn't continue to sulk. I was a strong person, maybe not physically, but emotionally. I had to be to deal with all the things being an Alchemist had thrown at me.

"You're right. Give me a few minutes and I will meet you downstairs for dinner," I said with a smile that I hoped looked genuine.

"Okay," she said hesitantly, "but if you decide you want to talk, I'm a really good listener." Once she was gone, I rushed around trying to make myself presentable, just in case I did run in to Trey. I was fairly sure with the class switch that he would steer clear, but who knew. I certainly did not want him to see me looking like a mess.

When I got down to the cafeteria in our building, I saw Jill, Micah, Eddie, and Angeline sitting together. I had mixed feelings regarding the lack of Trey. On one hand, I was relieved that I wouldn't have to figure out how to behave as friends. On the other hand, I had become used to his presence and I found it difficult to be comfortable without him.

"So Sydney, do you want to join us for a movie?" Jill asked. They had apparently reserved a lounge in the library for a movie night. I knew it didn't hold the same allure that being at Clarence's would for Jill and Eddie, but they would still be able to spend time in each other's company.

"Sure," I replied. If I was going to stop sulking, I would need a distraction.

They had chosen a horror movie, which I found oddly amusing. Movies like that did not bother me, considering all the real horror I had seen in my life with Strigoi. The lounge had several beanbag chairs around on the floor. I guess it was to discourage cuddling up on a couch.

Angeline sat on one side of Jill and Micah sat on the other. I knew Eddie would have liked to be able to sit next to Jill, but he settled down next to Micah. I decided to sit by Angeline. I figured she would be most likely to ignore my existence and let me try to lose myself in the movie.

When the movie was over, Jill, Angeline, and I parted ways from the guys and headed back to our dorms. Angeline was talking a mile a minute about all the gore that was in the movie and how fake it looked.

"Horror movies don't normally look real once you have actually witnessed some violence in your life," I said to her. I saw Jill shutter at the comment. I was beginning to worry that the movie might have been a little too violent for her. She had been the target of a vicious attack that had essentially caused her to die.

"You okay?" I asked Jill.

"Oh, yeah, sure. It was just a movie. I'm fine," she said but I wasn't convinced.

We had just gotten back to our rooms. "If you need anything, I'm right down the hall," I told her reassuringly. She just nodded and went into her room. I really hoped that she would be able to sleep okay.

It was still dark when I heard the soft knock at my door as it creaked open. "Sydney." It was Angeline.

"Huh, what's wrong?" I said groggily. I was not sure why Angeline would be the one knocking on my door in the middle of the night.

"It's Jill. She seems to be having a nightmare and I don't know what to do," Angeline said looking about as awake as I was.

I would not consider myself the best person to comfort someone, but next to Angeline, I was a pro. When I went into Jill's room, she was sitting up in bed crying.

"Hey, it's okay. You're safe," I said softly as I put my arms around her small frame. It was an awkward gesture for me, but I hoped it would sooth her. She leaned into the hug, clutching at my nightshirt.

"It just felt so real," she sobbed. "I remember every moment up until I…" She couldn't finish her sentence.

"It's okay. It was just a dream. You're fine. Adrian made sure of it," I said as I held her.

"I know. I owe him my life. I will never be able to repay him for what he did for me and all that he had to give up."

"Jill, you don't owe him anything. He didn't save you for that reason. He just couldn't let you die, not when you had so much left to live for." I knew in my heart that was the way that Adrian felt, I just hoped she believed me.

After, I'm not sure how long, Jill settled down and was able to go back to sleep. I stayed by her bedside until she did. When I went to get up, Angeline said, "Thanks. I wasn't sure what to do for her."

"You're welcome," I said with a smile as I left. Who would have thought I would be the one able to give someone comfort. It certainly was not something I was taught by the Alchemists.

My alarm went off early the next morning reminding me of the grueling practice schedule that I would be starting this week. As I got ready for volleyball, I decided that this could be the very distraction that I needed. I made the decision to lose myself in volleyball and put all thoughts of Trey and Adrian out of my mind.

With my focus on volleyball, the week went by in a blur. I'd get up early for practice and stay late after school. I never crossed paths with Trey during the school day now that we no longer had any classes together. I even managed to avoid Adrian when feeding day came.

By Friday, I was exhausted. I had put so much energy into volleyball that it was starting to take a toll on me. Our first game of the season was going to be that evening.

"Are you excited?" asked Jill enthusiastically. She had been my biggest cheerleader when it came to practices. I had gotten rather good and was probably the best player on the team.

"Mostly nervous," I said not as enthusiastically.

"Oh please. You are amazing. That other team won't know what hit them." That was Angeline. She had attended practices with Jill and was actually my second biggest cheerleader. Who would have thought?

Kristin and Julia met up with us on our way to class. "You ready for the big game?" asked Kristin.

I just smiled. "I think so."

"Good, because we need this win. After the great season that the football team had, we need to show them that the girls can be just as good as the boys," said Julia.

"I'll do my best," I said, not sure I liked all the pressure that came with participating in sports.

"I heard Trey was coming to the game tonight," Kristin said. They both knew that we had broken up, but I think they were hoping we would be able to work things out. It was nice to have their support and I didn't have the heart to tell them that it was a lost cause.

"Kristin, she doesn't have time to worry about who is watching. She needs to stay focused on the game," Julia scolded. "Don't worry about who is in the crowd. Keep all your focus on the ball and we can't lose," she said to me.

"Okay, I will," I said as I retreated. I was beginning to crack under the pressure. I did not realize how much was riding on how well I performed tonight. I was so worried about how the game was going to go, that I didn't notice the person walking towards me.

As I bumped into them, I said, "Oh, I'm sorry." When I looked up, I realized it was Trey of all people. He had had his nose in a book and had not seen me there either. When our eyes met, an uncomfortable silence seemed to engulf us.

"No, it was my fault," he said. More awkward silence followed. "Um, I have to get to class. Good luck in your game tonight." He quickly moved by me. I turned and watched his retreat and noticed that he never glanced back. Well, if he could move on then so could I, so I turned and continued on to class.

As soon as my last class was over, I headed to the gym to blow off some steam. I was nervous about the game and frustrated at how bumping into Trey had made me feel. If we were going to remain friends, then I needed to get past being tongue tied when I saw him.

I spent the entire afternoon volleying the ball against a wall. By the time I needed to get ready for the game, my forearms were tender. I knew I was going to be hurting the next day.

Jill came to find me before the game started. "So, how are you feeling?" she asked and then she noticed my arms. "Oh my gosh! What happened?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just practicing some more before the game," I said dismissively.

"You haven't looked this bad after any of your other practices," she said with a look of shock. I guess I had been hitting the ball rather hard this time.

"I'm okay. Don't worry about it. I need to go warm-up with the others," I said as I jogged off to my teammates. I didn't turn to see where she went to sit. I figured if I did not look in the stands, then I would not feel nervous about having an audience. Besides, I knew I would be able to hear Jill, even if I didn't see her. She and Angeline were always loud at practice.

It was a grueling game, but we won. I made several saves and assists. When I looked down at myself after our victory, I realized how hard I had been playing. My legs were pretty banged up, even with the padding that I was wearing. My arms were also starting to turn colors from bruising. At least I would get the weekend to recover, before practice would start up again.

When the crowd came onto the court to congratulate the team, I saw Jill and Angeline come bounding towards me. Jill could barely contain herself. Angeline was excited as well. I saw Eddie and Micah standing off in the distance avoiding the mob of happy spectators.

"Oh my gosh! You were awesome!" Jill squealed as she hugged me. I couldn't help but hug her back, I was rather excited that we had won our first game as well.

Kristin and Julia came up to congratulate me and they had Trey with them. "You were awesome," Kristin said. "Totally," said Julia, as they both gave me hugs. I wasn't used to all of the praise, but it felt nice.

As Trey stepped up to me, it was as if everyone took several steps back giving us some space and talking amongst themselves. "You were pretty amazing out there," he said with a smile.

Well, if we were going to make this friendship thing work, then I needed to put forth some effort. "Thanks. I did have a pretty amazing trainer for try-outs," I said back, returning his smile.

"And I was afraid you would forget to thank the little people," he smirked. Banter, now this was something I could handle.

"Never, I would be nothing without the little people," I quipped as I poked him. He grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me into a hug. It felt good. I was glad that we were moving past the awkwardness. That was of course, until we stepped back from each other and I realized who else had been standing near Eddie and Micah.

Adrian stood with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He was silently watching my exchange with Trey. When our eyes met, he turned and whispered something to Eddie and then walked toward the door to the gym.

I looked back at Trey. His gaze had grown distant and the smile on his face seemed less happy. Any progress towards friendship that we had just made was gone. He quickly excused himself and headed out of the gym through an opposite door.

Damn it. I had been so happy just a moment ago and then Trey and Adrian had to happen. I was upset that the progress Trey and I had made was gone, but I wasn't as worried about that. What concerned me most was Adrian. I didn't understand what had just happened. Why did he leave with out saying a word to me?

I went over to Eddie. "Where did Adrian say he was going?" I asked.

"He just said he was getting some air. Why?" Eddie replied. "Where did Trey go?"

"He had to head out," I said, hoping I wouldn't sound hurt. "I'm going to go look for Adrian."

"You know Jill and Angeline want to celebrate your victory," Eddie said with a knowing look. I knew he understood my apprehension to being in the spot light.

"Would you please get them to put it off until tomorrow? I am really tired. Tell them that I promise to do whatever they want then," I said pleadingly.

"Fine, what are brothers for," he replied jokingly.

"Thanks," I said as I brushed past him and headed towards the door that Adrian left through.

He hadn't gone far. I found him sitting on the bench by the main office, where I had waited for Keith that one time.

"Hey," I said. "I didn't realize that you were coming." I sat down next to him trying to keep some distance between us.

"Yeah, I noticed. You didn't look exactly happy to see me either, so I figured I wouldn't ruin your moment," he said sullenly as he looked at his hands.

"What are you talking about?" I did not remember giving him any looks that would have made him think that I would not have been happy to see him.

"Your aura," he simply said.

"Oh." I wasn't sure what else to say. It was not as if I could control it. "What did you see?"

"You were happy and then you weren't." I didn't like seeing him like this. I was always worried that he would slip into that unstable state that spirit could bring on.

"How do you know that you are why I was no longer happy?" I asked.

"Oh come on Sage. The only thing that changed in that moment was you realizing I was there." He was growing agitated.

I placed my hand over his. "Did you ever think that there was something going on between me and Trey? Did you even think to look at Trey's aura?"

He turned toward me and I could see that his mood had shifted to anger, but it wasn't directed at me. "Did he do something to you? Hasn't he hurt you enough?"

"Adrian, calm down," I said soothingly. "It's not like that." I was hoping his anger would subside.

"Then what is it like," he said flustered. "You won't even tell me why he broke up with you."

"It's complicated," I said. "Just don't get all worked up about it. It's not that big of a deal." I was hoping that he would drop it, but no such luck.

"How can you say that?" he said incredulously. "First you tell me that you weren't sad because of me, but because of him. Then you say it's complicated and try to brush it off as no big deal. I thought in the very least that we were friends. Well, friends talk to each other, Sage. I didn't think you were that out of touch with social etiquette."

His jab hurt and I couldn't help the emotions it stirred up. The only problem was I could not find a response. I was angry, but mostly I was upset. I took my hand back from his and got up to leave. I did not know what else to do.

"Wait, Sage. I didn't mean it."

I didn't turn back. "Yes you did, Adrian. I don't need to see auras to know that. I thought, as a friend, you would have respected my decision not to discuss something that I was not ready to. I guess I was wrong."

He was behind me before I knew it, holding my arm. "Please, Sage. Don't go. I didn't come here to fight with you." I winced at his touch, because he had grabbed one of my bruises. He quickly released my arm looking down at it.

"Sage, what the hell happened?" he said, his voice full of concern.

"Volleyball," I simply stated. "And before you even ask, no I do not want you to fix it." I knew I had said it rudely, but I was still angry at the way he had just treated me.

I was still facing away from him. It was hard to remember why I had been concerned with his feelings when clearly he had not been concerned about mine. "I'm tired. I'm going to head to my dorm."

In a last ditch effort to turn our conversation around, Adrian said, "Is that an invitation?" I did not dignify him with a response. I just headed towards the East Campus.

**Well, I know I had told some of you that I wouldn't try a big jump in time again, but I did anyway. I hope it sounded smooth glossing over the week of practice. Also, sorry for any incorrect reference to volleyball that I may have made. I can't remember if they are called games or not. Please R & R :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: As always, thanks for the reviews. As for Adrian's little question at the end of the last chapter, I hope it didn't seem OOC. Also, I honestly can't remember if I actually read a comment like that somewhere else, so if I did, I'm sorry I didn't give credit where it was due. Just let me know. Sorry for any mistakes in this chapter. I kept finding them each time I proofed this, so I hope I finally got them all. At the end, I have a little shout out to two lovely reviewers, so please take the opportunity to check out their stuff. One last apology for making my author's notes so long this time. I promise not to do it again. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_In a last ditch effort to turn our conversation around, Adrian said, "Is that an invitation?" I did not dignify him with a response. I just headed towards the East Campus._

Chapter 18

I tossed and turned all night again. The way Adrian had acted the night before was infuriating and the fact that he had haunted my dreams just added to it. Why could I not stop thinking about him?

Over breakfast, Jill animatedly discussed all of the exciting things we could do today to celebrate my victory. I had really been hoping that celebrating would have lost its luster, but no such luck. I guess I should have at least been happy that Eddie was able to hold her off a day.

"Oh, we could go to the mall or we could go to a salon or a movie," she rambled. "It is going to be so much fun to have some girl time."

I looked over at Eddie for some kind of support and he just smiled and shrugged. I could see he was not going to help me get out of this. The only joy I could see in this was that Eddie was going to have to join us in whatever activity that we chose, so I decided to pick the really girlie one.

"A salon sounds great," I said with a smile as I cut my eyes towards Eddie when Jill looked away. She had borrowed my laptop to look up different activities and was now searching up local salons.

I could tell by the look that Eddie was giving me, that he knew exactly what I was doing.

"How about we just go play mini-golf again," Eddie offered up.

Nope, it was too late for him to try to save me now. "You know what, that sounds like fun also," I said. "How about we do both?"

This caused more squeals of delight from Jill and a not so nice glare from Eddie. I'm sure he would make me pay for this later during one of their little training sessions, but I decided I was going to enjoy the moment now while it lasted.

"Do you think we could get our hair and nails done?" I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I watched Eddie. "Oh and facials, wouldn't that be fun." Yep, I was definitely paying for this later.

It did not take Jill long to find a salon that she deemed to have enough stars for a rating. She borrowed my cell phone to call and make us appointments. Before long, we had ones set up for our hair, manicures, pedicures, and facials. By 'we', I meant us girls, but I knew it wouldn't be much fun for Eddie to have to sit in the salon and watch us while we got pampered. I doubted they would have sports playing on any televisions. He would probably be stuck watching soap operas or talk shows. I was definitely paying for this later, no doubt.

Jill pulled up directions on my laptop and I looked them over. They weren't too difficult and it wouldn't take long for us to get there. After finishing breakfast, we headed out.

The building that we pulled up to was not what I was expecting. I was used to salons in strip malls, but this was its very own separate building. It was huge. Apparently, it was more like a spa, than a salon. They also offered massages, tanning, and other body skin treatments.

When we walked in, the aroma of potpourri was overwhelming. I wondered if karma was going to land me with the worst headache ever. I knew with their heightened vampire senses that the smell had to be even worse for them, but Jill was too giddy to notice. I did see Angeline wrinkle her nose to the smell and Eddie looked uncomfortable as well.

Jill bounced over to the receptionist's desk and got us all checked in. Eddie sat down on a pink floral couch that looked more pretty than comfortable. The building seemed to be set up in different sections hidden by Chinese screens. I was wondering if Eddie was going to follow us to each section or sit by the door.

I got my answer when we were called back to get our facials. Eddie stood to follow and the look that the receptionist shot him was almost comical. I knew that there would be no way to talk him out of watching us, so I was glad that the receptionist only glared and did not open her mouth.

As we laid back in our lounge chairs and received our facials, Eddie stood like a statue watching everything going on around us. I knew we weren't supposed to be drawing attention to Jill and I was afraid that he was going to by following us around. He gave the appearance of one of us being important enough to need a bodyguard. I decided that I would try to convince him to go to the waiting area after our facials.

I had never had a facial before and I had to admit it felt amazing and my face felt so refreshed when it was finished. Jill had also set up a mini makeover that they completed after the facial. I allowed my make-up artist to put on some neutral colors, even though Jill tried to get me to be more risqué.

After we were done with the facials, we moved on to hair. I tried to talk Eddie into going back out into the waiting area, but he did not want to hear it.

"If I've got to be here, I'm not letting you guys out of my sight," he said sternly. I wondered if he was just scared to be left alone with the receptionist.

"Fine, but could you at least look less like a bodyguard and more like a friend hanging out with us? I don't want any undue attention called to Jill," I said. He just nodded.

As we were seated in our hairstylist's chairs, Eddie took a seat at an empty nearby station. I guess he thought if he sat, it would feel less like he was lurking. The only problem with this was that he now looked like one of those parents that had to approve of what we were having done to our hair. I hoped that the stylists would be able to ignore him.

"So, what would you like to have done today?" my stylist, Mallory, asked.

"Why don't you have your layers evened up," Jill said. "I've seen you try to pull your hair up and it would be much easier if you had fewer layers." She was right. I had been considering growing my hair out for that purpose and I knew trimming off the dead ends would help it grow faster.

"Yes, I think that is what I would like to have done," I said to Mallory.

"Sure thing, but to do that I will have to shorten it to a little above your shoulders," she said. Well, I knew I had to start somewhere, so if it was a little shorter for a while I guessed it would be okay.

"That's fine," I said.

Jill had decided to get her layers trimmed. After that, she had them style it half up and half down. All she needed was the tiara to complete the princess look. I noticed Eddie eyeing her with adoration.

Angeline, who had already refused the makeover, would only let her stylist cut off the split ends. She shot her stylist a cold glare when she suggested adding layers to her hair. I tried to hide my face, so that Angeline wouldn't see me laughing. I knew she wasn't interested in her appearance, so this outing was figuratively killing her.

When Mallory had finished trimming my hair, she styled it curling the ends under with a roll brush. I could not believe what a difference it made. My hair seemed to shine and I was beginning to feel as beautiful as Adrian had painted me.

As we moved on to our finale of manicures and pedicures, Jill whispered to me. "Your hair and make-up look great. Are you sure you want to waste it on mini-golf?" I had no idea what else she could come up with to do, but I had a feeling it would end up being more torture for Eddie.

As I glanced over at him, I decided that I had probably tortured him enough. "I thought mini-golf was fun, actually."

She looked at me a little surprised. "Okay, it's your day."

We got to sit in massage chairs, while we soaked our hands and feet. It felt heavenly. I had never really had a pampering experience like this before and I could not imagine being able to do it all the time.

I let Jill pick out my nail polish, since Angeline had already shot down the idea of putting a color on hers. She went with a simple clear coat finish. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to be paying for this experience with Angeline later as well.

Jill picked out a pretty pink color for her and me, so that we could be matching. I had to admit it did look nice on us. After our nails had had time to dry, Jill insisted on a picture. She had me hand my phone to Eddie. The three of us stood sideways close together. Jill made us put one hand out and one foot out while we looked toward Eddie. She wanted to make sure to capture everything that we had had done today in one shot.

Eddie handed the phone over after he took the photo, so that we could approve it. It was cute. It was the first time that I thought I might look just as good as Jill did.

"Okay, I'm starving. Do you think we could go get some lunch now?" Eddie asked. "Yeah," Angeline chimed in. It had gotten rather late and no matter how fancy the spa was, it did not serve food while you were being pampered.

"I guess," Jill said. "Where do you want to go, Sydney?"

"You are not going to ask her," Angeline said disgustedly. "She doesn't eat hardly anything anyway. She can find something anywhere." I had a feeling that Angeline was definitely going to make me pay for the spa day, so I figured maybe if I gave her this, it would lessen the punishment later.

"I'm good with whatever everyone else wants," I said. "Angeline or Eddie can pick."

With that, Eddie and Angeline got in to a heated discussion over food. We ended up at an Italian restaurant where, like Angeline said, I ordered a salad and barely ate half of it.

I noticed that Jill was picking over her food as well. "Are you not hungry?" I asked.

She seemed hesitant to answer. "It's not that I'm not hungry. I'm just not hungry for this," she said not looking up.

"If you didn't want Italian, you should have said something," Eddie said. I knew he would have agreed to anything that she would have picked.

"That's not what I mean," she said still picking at her food. Recognition came across Eddie's face, but I was still lost.

Eddie flagged the waiter down. "Could we get some boxes and the check?" he asked. The waiter hurried off to get what Eddie requested.

When I looked at Eddie questioningly he said, "We can take it to go and finish up at Clarence's." Oh, that was what she meant. I felt stupid for not thinking about Jill's feeding today. It was weird. We had had such a normal day today, that I had almost forgotten that Jill wasn't normal.

Dorothy greeted us at the door and Jill followed her off to wherever they go for feedings. As we walked into the living room Dimitri, Sonya, and Adrian met us. When my eyes met Adrian's all of my prior frustration with him bubbled back up. That was until I realized how he was looking at me.

"Wow, Sage. You look. Wow," Adrian said. I had almost forgotten our makeovers from earlier. My cheeks heated to his reaction.

"Very lovely," Sonya chimed in, "both of you." Angeline shrugged in way of response and went over to talk with Dimitri. That God-like image he held for her was so obvious.

"Thank you," I said politely. "Jill looks very pretty, too. She is with Dorothy now."

"I'm sure she does," Sonya smiled. She seemed to be glancing back and forth between Adrian and me. He was still eyeing me. As our eyes met again, I felt my blush deepen.

He broke the gaze and looked over at Eddie. "Clearly they couldn't do anything with you," he said gesturing at him.

"Watch it Ivashkov. I don't need all that pampering to come out looking great," Eddie retorted.

"You keep telling yourself that," Adrian quipped back.

"So, Sage, would you like to go take a walk while you wait for Jill?" Adrian asked with a smile. Looking at him now, I was having trouble remembering how he could have made me so mad the other night.

"That sounds great," I said and followed him out. We wandered the gardens in silence, just enjoying the beauty. It should have felt peaceful, but for whatever reason my stomach seemed to be tied in knots.

We sat down on one of the benches. He reached over and took my hand in his while we sat. I didn't pull back, I just enjoyed the comfort that his touch brought.

After several minutes of silence he spoke, "I am sorry about last night."

"It's okay." It was funny, even after all the obsessing that I had done over how he had acted, I just wanted to forgive him.

We continued to sit in silence. "You really do look lovely," he said softly. The way he said it stirred up my emotions again. The flip-flops started in my stomach.

Before I could stop myself, I had turned and met his gaze. His eyes seemed to shine. They were so gorgeous. He took his other hand and brushed a stray strand of hair back from my face, never taking his eyes away from mine. My breath seemed to catch and my heartbeat picked up. How did he do this to me?

It was as if forces beyond our control were pulling us towards each other. As we leaned in closer, his one hand was still caressing my cheek as our other hands were still entwined. My free hand had found its way to his arm as if I was pulling him closer.

When our lips met, it was gentle at first, but quickly deepened as we let our passion take control. We were no longer holding hands. My hands had found their way to his hair and his were around me pulling me closer.

That was when we heard someone clear their throat. We broke apart putting distance between us on the bench as we looked to see who had caught us. It was Eddie.

He had a wide grin on his face from catching us. "Um, if you guys are done, Jill wanted to know if you were ready to go play mini-golf," Eddie said holding back a chuckle.

I was mortified at being caught in that kind of a position with Adrian of all people. What had come over me? I could not find my voice to answer Eddie, much less look at him.

Adrian seemed to pull himself together better. "We'll been in, in a minute," he said.

"Yeah, I bet," Eddie mumbled as he left us.

I could feel Adrian watching me as I continued to stare off at the garden. "Sage?" he said gently. The way he said it broke my heart. I knew I was hurting him by not looking at him. Why was I feeling like this?

"Please look at me," he said pleadingly.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't continue to hurt him. When I turned to him, it was as if I could feel every bit of passion that we had just shared. My stomach seemed to be in a permanent knot.

He reached out to my hand and gave it a gentle reassuring squeeze, as he continued to watch me. Was I having the same effect on him, as he was on me?

"Could I join you for mini-golf?" he asked as he attempted to make our situation less awkward.

"Sure," I said shakily.

"We better get back inside, before someone else comes looking for us," Adrian said as he stood up. He was still holding my hand, so he helped me up. Once standing we didn't move, just continued to gaze into each other's eyes.

He broke the gaze first, which I was grateful for. I wasn't sure I would have been able to look away. We started walking back towards the house. As we moved closer towards it, I realized we were still holding hands. As I removed my hand from his, I knew he was looking at me out of the corner of his eye, but he never said anything.

When we entered the living room, everyone's eyes met us. I noticed that Sonya and Dimitri had left. Eddie still had that knowing grin on his face. Jill and Angeline looked as they always did, which was a relief. I was afraid that Eddie would have said something, or worse, that Jill would have felt what happened between Adrian and me. I guess he had gotten good at blocking her.

I tried to speak as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened to me, "So are you guys ready to go?"

"Yep," said Jill. "We sure are," said Eddie with that damn smile still on his face. "So, is Adrian going to be joining us?" he asked suggestively. I was beginning to think that my payback from earlier might come in a more torturous form such as ridicule from him.

Luckily, Adrian answered Eddie for me, "I sure am. Do you think you can manage to keep up with me this time? I would hate to make you look bad again."

Eddie seemed to drop the subject of torturing me for the moment. "What are you talking about? You know darn well you came in last the last time we played," he scoffed.

"Only because someone wasn't keeping score accurately," Adrian said as he shot me a sidelong glance.

"And you think she might change her score keeping tactics for you know?" Eddie said back with a bit of a chuckle. Oh, this was not going to be good. Eddie could not keep throwing comments out there like that. What he had seen was nothing. A lapse in judgment. I was beginning to feel tense.

I think Adrian could tell how uncomfortable Eddie's innuendos were making me feel. "If you are so concerned about it, why don't we have Jill keep score this time?" he said. Jill was sitting there watching the exchange between everyone. I'm not sure if she could tell what had been going on or not.

"That's fine with me," she said.

"Can we go already?" asked Angeline impatiently. As usual, she was oblivious to what was going on around her, either that or she just did not care.

"Yes, let's go," I said.

After what had just happened, I was regretting having to spend any more time with everyone. I didn't understand what had compelled Adrian and me to kiss, nor did I understand what I was feeling for him. I certainly did not like the fact that Eddie had seen us. What was I going to do now?

The car ride over to the Mega-Fun Mini-Golf Center was mostly quiet. Angeline was the only one really to speak. She had never played mini-golf, so she was asking about the rules. Eddie explained them to her and told her that the last time we played had been my first time as well. He also told her that I had won.

"Well, if Sydney can learn mini-golf and win on her first try, it must not be challenging at all," Angeline scoffed. I may not be able to beat Angeline in a physical fight, but I had a feeling that my skills for geometry would out weigh her ability to play. I was not sure it would be a good idea to beat her though. She seemed to be a sore loser.

"I'm sure you will be able to pick it up," I said as we pulled into the parking lot. As I looked over at Adrian, who had been sitting in the passenger seat next to me, he had an unreadable expression on his face. During the car ride, he had been quiet, but I could feel him eyeing me the whole time.

I knew he was going to want to discuss what had happened earlier. I just hoped I could put it off long enough to formulate a good response. I was not sure he would buy that gravitational pull had drawn us together. I just wasn't ready to face the fact that feelings might have had something to do with it.

**I have seen my pen name now twice from two lovely reviewers and I wanted to take a moment to thank them and promote their awesome stories. **

**_BoOkWoRm1807_ wrote a lovely lemon called _Rehabilitation_ that she gave me credit for using a little part from my story. If you like lemons, go check it out. It is juicy goodness. **

**_Lacrimosa Cruentus Luna_ put that she owed me Chapter 7: Love Me Bad from her story of lovely one-shots _The Sydrian Shuffle_. Her one-shots are a definite must read. They give you the great Sydrian moments without all the extra filler.**

**_Thank you both_ and as always, please R & R :) **


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Thanks for the reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I was not sure he would buy that gravitational pull had drawn us together. I just wasn't ready to face the fact that feelings might have had something to do with it._

Chapter 19

As we walked out to the putting greens, I noticed Jill looking at the waterfall that was in the middle of the course. I remembered the last time we had come with Lee. Jill's eyes had lit up at the sight of the waterfall. This time as I looked over at her, her expression was unreadable.

We acquired our clubs and balls at the front desk and headed out to the first hole.

"So, do you think you can manage not to maim the dragon this time?" Eddie chuckled to Adrian as we walked up to the start of the Dragon's Lair.

"I didn't maim it last time," Adrian replied casually as if he had no idea what Eddie was talking about. You could still see the mark in the paint where Adrian had hit the dragon's eye the last time we had played.

Jill told me to go first, since it was supposed to be my day, but I told her that I would rather go last.

"Why don't you go first Jill, since you are keeping score? That way you will be out in front of everyone," I said. We ended up deciding on an order of Jill, Angeline, Eddie, Adrian, and then me. I was trying to put some distance between everyone and me, but Adrian seemed to stay close.

As we progressed around the course, Adrian's complete lack of skills for the game kept putting more and more distance between the others and us. I did not want to hold Jill, Angeline, and Eddie up, so I waved them on ahead.

Angeline seemed to be enjoying herself and she kept trying to make a competition out of every hole with Jill. You could tell Eddie was just enjoying being able to be close to Jill.

I did notice him glance back every once in a while as they moved further away from us. It was funny, though, because he no longer seemed to be wearing that torturous grin when he watched us. It seemed to be more of a look of watchful concern.

Adrian was lining up his next shot, that he would undoubtedly miss, as he said, "Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?"

This had been exactly why I had wanted to put distance between everyone and me. I did not want to talk about it with anyone, until I had had time to figure it out. I looked over at the others to make sure that they were out of earshot.

"Nothing happened, Adrian," I said.

He looked up at me just as he swung and of course missed his mark. "I don't know what bench you were sitting on Sage, but the one that I was on certainly had something happening on it." He was wearing that arrogant lazy smile on his face.

"Adrian, nothing happened," I said again more forcefully, as my eyes darted back to where the others were now standing.

His smile faltered at my reaction of denial. "Sage, if you are worried about Eddie, I think he has other things on his mind," he said as he nodded towards the way Eddie was standing protectively close to Jill.

"This has nothing to do with Eddie," I said frustrated, keeping my voice low. "What happened was nothing. A lapse in judgment. It is never going to happen again."

I could see that Adrian was growing agitated with my reaction. "Sure, just like the other time that 'nothing' happened." I knew exactly what he was referring to. How dare he throw that at me after he was the one to push me away?

"That only happened because I was trying to save you from yourself," I snapped back.

I could see the anger flare in his eyes. I regretted my statement as soon as I had said it, but I knew I could not take it back. He moved dangerously close to me. "You're right. Nothing happened. It meant nothing," he said icily.

With that, he moved past me and on to the next hole, without even finishing the one he was on. I could feel tears burning in my eyes. Why had I pushed him away like that? There was a simple answer, because I could not have feelings for a vampire.

We continued through the course in silence, quickly catching up to the others. It seemed that anger made Adrian's game improve, because he no longer took more than two strokes to complete a hole.

By the time we reached the waterfall in the middle of the course, Jill was back to having an unreadable expression on her face. I would have thought she would have been ecstatic being surrounded by so much water at one time. I couldn't say that I was thrilled with the prospects of her wanting to reach out to her magic, but with everything that I had learned lately regarding magic, I probably would have been more willing to let her touch it without protest.

Eddie seemed to notice the change in her and moved protectively close. "What's wrong Jill?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

"It's just that the last time I was here, Lee was with us," she said softly. I knew that Jill had developed feelings for Lee before we found out how crazy he was, but I didn't think those feelings still affected her. Maybe mini-golf had been a bad idea.

Eddie put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. Angeline took that as a cue to move on to the next hole. Moments like that were not something Angeline was comfortable with.

I felt awkward standing with Eddie and Jill as well. I looked over and saw the concerned look on Adrian's face as he watched them together. We hadn't spoken since our argument, but I felt the need to move him away, so that they could have their privacy.

I touched his arm lightly, bringing him out of his thoughts as he looked down to where my hand was now placed. "I think we should give them some space," I whispered to him as I released his arm.

He didn't look at me or respond, he just moved onto the next hole where Angeline was. I followed quietly behind him. I hated fighting with Adrian and I could see this wasn't something we would get past soon. I just did not understand the feelings he stirred up.

As we finished the last hole of the course, I declared Angeline the winner merely because I doubted anyone had continued to keep score throughout the entire game. Jill and Eddie had still not returned from where we had left them. Adrian walked off as soon as he took his final shot and had not returned.

"Would you go return the clubs and balls for me?" I asked Angeline politely. She was still happy about her victory, so she politely complied.

I walked back to the waterfall and found Jill and Eddie sitting on a nearby bench. Jill was smiling down at a sphere of water that was resting above her hand. Eddie still had his arm around her protectively.

I cleared my throat, not wanting to interrupt, but knowing that we needed to get back. The sphere dissipated into her hand as she looked up. "Is it time to go?" she said distantly.

"I'm afraid so," I said. "Angeline and Adrian are waiting back at the car." Well, at least I hoped Adrian was waiting at the car. I did not want to have to go track him down.

"Okay," she said quietly and Eddie helped her up. She still seemed sad. I hoped that Eddie would be able to comfort her. Maybe I should have given them more time together, but I wasn't sure how much more time I could spend with Adrian.

When we got to Latte, Angeline was sitting in the passenger seat and Adrian had taken a back seat. He never sat in the back.

When we were all in the car, I glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed Adrian's blank stare fixated out the window. When I looked over at Jill I saw a pained and sad expression on her face. What if Jill's mood was really just an overflow of Adrian's? Not only had I hurt him, but also I was now hurting Jill. I needed to fix this. Jill did not deserve this.

Instead of dropping Adrian off first, I headed to Amberwood. I hoped we would be able to resolve our issues in a private car ride to his place, but as soon as I pulled up at Amberwood, Adrian got out.

"Where are you going?" I asked shocked at his departure.

"I will catch a bus. There is a stop not far from here," he said without looking back.

Eddie noticed our exchange and quickly passed Jill off to Angeline, telling her that he would stop by and see her soon.

"What is going on?" Eddie asked as he came over to me.

"He is being difficult," I said tightly.

"Does this have anything to do with what I interrupted?" he gestured towards Adrian. He seemed genuinely concerned.

"Eddie, I don't want to talk about it. Would you go get him before he leaves? I don't want him wandering around at night. Besides, I'm worried that his behavior is affecting Jill."

Eddie stiffened to my comment regarding Jill. "I'll go take care of it," he said as he jogged off after Adrian. I leaned against Latte and closed my eyes waiting for their return. My head was beginning to throb from all the thoughts and feelings swimming around in it. I just needed to get some rest.

Fifteen minutes passed before they returned. I opened my eyes as I heard them approach. Eddie wore a neutral expression as he walked up to me. "He should behave himself enough for the car ride, but let me know if you have any problems with him," Eddie said in such a brotherly manner.

I nodded and looked over at Adrian. He didn't look at me. He simply got in the passenger seat and turned his gaze out the window. I sighed. This was going to be a long car ride.

The last time we had had a car ride like this, it ended in a kiss that I would never forget. As I pulled up to his place, he exited the car barely giving it enough time to stop. I knew that I should have just driven away, but I couldn't.

I felt guilty, because of what I had said to him. My mind and my mouth might have been in denial, but my body knew that what had happened wasn't nothing. On top of that, it was now affecting Jill.

I exited my car. Adrian had already gone inside slamming the door behind him. I tried the handle and he had left it unlocked. Instead of knocking, I just walked in. He was nowhere to be seen. Hesitantly, I headed towards his bedroom where I could here things being tossed about.

Standing in the doorway, I took in the scene. The paintings of me that had been neatly stacked in the corner were now strewn about the room. Many of them were torn and now ruined. He had the painting of us kissing in his hands staring at it.

A tear escaped my eye as I watched his back. "Adrian?" I breathed. His back stiffened and I saw his hands tighten around the canvas's edge.

"Sage, get out." His voice dripped with anger.

I knew I needed to do this. I had to confront him. Slowly, I moved towards him. I tried again, "Adrian?"

He turned on me so fast flinging the painting towards the wall. I had never seen him filled with so much anger. I started to feel afraid. The tears began to flow freely down my cheeks. I couldn't have stopped them if I had wanted to.

He didn't say a word, just continued staring at me with an icy glare. My chest tightened. I looked over to the now ruined painting of us as more tears fell.

I may not have been a bold person, but I wasn't one to back down. At that moment, though, seeing the destruction that I had caused, I realized I could not face him. I turned and fled to my car.

When I returned to Amberwood, I was careful to make sure that I reached my room before anyone saw me. Once in my room, I buried my face in my pillow and cried until sleep consumed me.

My dream was filled with images of Adrian's bedroom and the look on his face, but as the night went on my dream began to change. I was sitting back on Adrian's couch, just how I had been that night we had watched movies together. I looked over and Adrian was standing by his bedroom door.

"Sage, we need to talk," Adrian said.

"I don't want to talk. Why can't we just watch a movie?" I said as I patted the spot next to me on the couch. I so desperately wanted to relive a happy moment between us.

He moved towards me, watching me cautiously as he sat down next to me. "You don't realize where you are," he said.

"Of course I do. I'm at your place and we were getting ready to watch a movie," I said wondering why he was acting so odd.

"Sage, this isn't a normal dream," he said earnestly.

"What are you talking about Adrian?" I asked, but as I did, the memory of the other time that he had pulled me into a spirit dream came back. I started to look around and that was when I felt it, that feeling of not quite a real dream, but not quite real life.

My eyes widened as I looked at Adrian. I desperately tried to calm my breathing. I was afraid of being around his magic, but I was more afraid of not being with Adrian at that moment.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I took a moment and then said, "Yes."

"Earlier, I shouldn't have acted like that. You shouldn't have seen that," he said with his eyes downcast as if he were ashamed.

"It's my fault," I said weakly. To this, he looked into my eyes. There were too many emotions crossing them to place.

"I should have never told you it meant nothing," I said looking down at my hands. I needed to say so many things to him, but all of them were wrong.

He took my chin in his hand, lifting it to meet his eyes. I felt another tear slide down my cheek. I wouldn't have thought I had any left.

As I looked into his eyes, I realized that I might never have an opportunity like this again. In the real world, I could not let my emotions take control of me again, but right now in this spirit dream, I had a chance to feel what I denied myself.

I moved closer to him. He continued to gaze into my eyes. Bringing my hand to his cheek, I stroked it gently. He closed his eyes. My hand ran down his neck and I noticed him shiver. He reached up catching my hand in his as he opened his eyes.

"Sage," he said fighting for control. "I said that we needed to talk."

"I know," I said as I scooted closer still. "Talk."

I watched as his feelings waged a battle in his eyes. I had no experience in seducing someone, but I hoped that my body would know how to do it. I pulled my knees up under me on the couch as I leaned into him and kissed his neck where he had shivered before when I touched him.

"Sage," he said again, his breathing beginning to become ragged.

"I'm listening," I breathed next to his ear.

I felt his body shiver again. I had a feeling I was doing something right. The reactions that I was getting from him were certainly having an affect on me.

He put his hands on my upper arms as he moved me back from him. "We can't do this here," he said, his eyes filled with desire.

I did not understand. His voice was saying one thing, but his body seemed to be saying another. Didn't he feel something for me? I knew now, no matter how much I fought it, that I had feelings for him.

"Why not?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"Because," he said.

Mimicking the last time we had been in this kind of situation I said, "That is not an answer."

His resolve broke as he pressed his lips to mine pulling me onto his lap. Our mouths moved against each other's with such hunger. Then he started trailing kisses down my neck. A moan escaped my mouth and I moved my body closer to his causing the same reaction from him.

I pulled back looking into his eyes. I never wanted to forget a single second of this moment. I knew that it would never be able to happen in the real world. I leaned back in trailing kisses up his neck to his ear as his hands ran down my back and another moan escaped him. While near his ear I whispered, "You mean everything to me."

As soon as the words escaped my mouth, I knew I would never be able to take them back. Trey had been right, no matter how much I had wanted to deny it. No matter how wrong this was, I had feelings for Adrian and right now in this dream I was at least able to admit it.

His arms went around my waist as he moved me in one deft motion on to my back on the couch. As he hovered over me, I slid my hands up his chest to his neck. His mouth crashed to mine.

And then, just like that, he was gone. I was startled awake by the ringing of my cell phone. My body was in shock from the loss of contact, even if it had been a dream. I fumbled around trying to find my phone.

When I looked down at the Caller ID, my breath caught. It was Stanton. I tried to get my breathing under control. Fear that she would have somehow known what I was just doing, or considered doing, filled me. I looked over at the clock and noticed it was 6 am.

I answered the phone hoping that she wouldn't hear the fear in my voice, "Hello."

"Sydney, I am in town to check on the progress of the research that is being performed. Meet me at Ms. Karp's apartment at 8 am," she ordered in a clipped tone.

"Yes ma'am," I responded and then she hung up.

**I know. I suck right about now. Please R & R. :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: Wow, I have had so many wonderful reviews from my last chapter. I'm sorry to have been absent for so long. Now that all of my Christmas shopping is done, I hope to get back on track. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_Yes ma'am," I responded and then she hung up._

Chapter 20

On the ride over to Sonya's apartment, all I could think about was what had happened with Adrian. What if Adrian is there? What if he says something? I had no idea what to expect. It was bad enough that I had come to terms with how I felt, but it could never happen. I was an Alchemist and he was a Moroi. I felt a headache coming on.

Once again, Adrian answered the door before I could knock. His eyes were studying me with concern.

"Sage, what's going on?" he whispered to me. "I received a call from Sonya that the Alchemists were coming." Well, at least he seemed to realize the urgency of this meeting enough not to mention our dream.

Then again, maybe it wasn't a spirit dream after all, but a real one. That would make life so much easier if I hadn't just revealed my feelings to him. I couldn't tell from the look on his face whether it had really happened or not.

"They just want to check on the research. It is very common for them to make surprise visits," I said with more certainty than I felt.

As I entered the room, I noticed that Stanton had not arrived yet. Dimitri was by the couch, standing in a watchful way. Sonya walked up to me, "I made sure to put away any record of the magic that we were researching," she said reassuringly. She seemed just as tense as Adrian did about this visit.

"I'm sure this is just routine," I said to both of them trying to remain calm.

A knock sounded at the door and Dimitri went to answer it. I had a feeling that he usually answered the door, being the guardian that was on duty, and that Adrian was only allowed to answer it for me.

Stanton swept into the room, followed by another man whom I did not know, but looked vaguely familiar. His cheek was bare where the tattoo should have been. Regardless of who he was, clearly the Alchemists felt secure letting him in on their business. I knew we had a few outsiders that we regarded highly, even if they were not Alchemists.

Stanton greeted everyone with a nod of her head, "Ms. Karp, Guardian Belikov, Mr. Ivashkov." There was no greeting for me. The fear of being in trouble started to consume me.

"I've come to see the research that you have been working on. Have there been any new developments?" Stanton asked Sonya.

"Nothing concrete at this point, but you are welcome to look. Please follow me into the kitchen and you may peruse it," Sonya said politely. I could see that Stanton was not happy about having to go any further into the apartment, but she covered it well.

"Thank you," she said stonily as she followed Sonya.

Dimitri moved off to a far wall that had a vantage point where he would be able to watch everyone. He looked uncomfortable having another Alchemist present in their apartment.

The man that had come with Stanton had remained in the living room with us. He moved towards me and I could have sworn I saw Adrian stiffen in response out of the corner of my eye.

"You must be Miss Sage," he said as he extended his hand towards me.

Out of proper etiquette, I took his hand. He was human after all, so there was no need to feel wary of touching him. When he took hold of my hand though, he did not release it right away. I felt an odd tingling sensation in my palm. Then he let go.

Trying not to show any reaction to what had just happened I said, "Yes, I am and you are?"

"Why my name is Mr. Juarez. I believe you know my son." As soon as he said it, it became so obvious. That was why he had seemed familiar. Many of their facial features were similar, including their eyes.

I fumbled over my next words. "Oh…yes…I do…Trey." I felt like an idiot, but my mind was racing. Did he know that I had dated his son? Did he know what his son had told me? Did he know about Adrian?

I pulled myself together. There was no way that I was going to let a stranger intimidate me. I had faced down Strigoi and the possibility of re-education. I could handle this. Besides, I would imagine that it would be wrong for a sorcerer to tell an Alchemist their secrets, so Trey probably would not have said anything to him.

"I mean, yes I know your son, Trey, since he attends Amberwood with me. He is a very talented football player," I said with a professional smile on my face.

"Yes, he is quite good and it keeps him in shape," Mr. Juarez said. I remembered how Trey had said that his father had expectations of him staying in peak physical condition.

I had no idea what else to say to him. I was not sure why he would even be here, so I was glad when Stanton returned after just a few minutes. She made no attempt to introduce Trey's father to everyone or explain his presence.

"It is our understanding that there have been some new developments at Court and that we will be having some guests arriving shortly to discuss the matter." She directed this comment to me, not bothering with any personal civilities.

"Okay," I said. "Is there anything that I need to do to prepare for them?"

"You will need to go retrieve the princess and her escorts and bring them back here. This is the agreed upon meeting place."

"Certainly," I responded and headed to the door. As I was leaving, I noticed that Adrian was coming with me. I turned to him, meeting his eyes. I hoped that my eyes conveyed the message that he could not come with me. The last thing I needed was for Stanton to think that I would want a vampire's company.

It seemed that even if Adrian did not understand how socially unacceptable it would have been, Sonya did. "Adrian, I could use you in the kitchen. I noticed something in our research when I was showing it to Ms. Stanton that I need your opinion on."

When Adrian turned to respond to Sonya, I slipped out the door. I just hoped that he did not protest and would just go along with her request. I already doubted Stanton's trust in me. I did not need him to give her more reasons to doubt me.

As soon as I arrived at Amberwood, I tracked down Eddie, Jill, and Angeline. I hadn't seen any of them since I dropped them off the night before after mini-golf. I found them at their usual location with Micah practicing.

Eddie noticed me first and with his guardian instincts, he could tell something was wrong. He left the group and came over to me. "Is everything okay? Did Adrian behave himself?"

I wasn't sure what look I had on my face, but the fight and dream were both far from my mind now. I had no idea what having Stanton and the mysterious guests from Court would mean for any of us and I was worried.

"Adrian was fine," I lied. It really was the least of my concerns at the moment. "We need to go though. There is some kind of meeting regarding Court that is going to occur at Sonya's apartment."

Eddie looked at me with concern. "Did something happen at Court? Is Lissa okay?"

"I don't know. I think if it were something like that, they would have told us. All I know is that my superior, Ms. Stanton, and another acquaintance of the Alchemists are waiting at Sonya's apartment for us." I wasn't sure that I should inform Eddie that the acquaintance with Stanton was Trey's father. I had a feeling that no one would introduce him anyway. I wasn't even sure why he was there.

Jill had noticed our hushed conversation and came over. "Is everything okay?" She looked better than she had the prior night. I felt that pang of guilt from probably causing her to have been depressed.

"Everything is fine, but we need to go over to Sonya's," I said. "Would you get Angeline and tell Micah that we need to head over to Angeline's sister's place?"

"Sure," she said. I could tell that she was worried that something was really wrong.

When we arrived at Sonya's apartment, Stanton and Mr. Juarez were no longer there. "She said that she would be back shortly," Sonya told me. I wondered if that meant that Mr. Juarez would not be returning with her.

Jill sat nervously on the couch next to Sonya, as Eddie and Angeline took up positions behind the couch. It was amazing to me the way that Eddie could fall into his guardian roll when I knew he would have much rather sat on the couch beside Jill. It was nice to see that his posture had rubbed off on Angeline as well. Dimitri was standing against the other wall being ever vigilant.

"May I speak with you a moment?" Adrian said quietly to me. What did he want to talk about? This was not the time or place for us to discuss the dream if it had even happened. I still couldn't tell from his expressions whether the dream had been a real spirit dream or not.

"Quickly," I said. All I needed was for Stanton to show up while I was off in another room with a vampire. We stepped into the kitchen for privacy.

"Listen, Sage, about last night," he started.

I held up my hand cutting him off. "No, Adrian. We do not have time to talk about that. I don't know what is going on with Stanton being here and I just can't get into that right now." He didn't seem offended. I wondered if maybe my dream had just been a dream.

His expression turned to concern. "You're worried," he stated.

"Yes, Adrian, I'm worried. I lied earlier. I have never heard of a surprise visit and I have no idea why Mr. Juarez would have been with her," I replied flustered.

"Trey's father," he said.

"Yes, Trey's father. You were there when he introduced himself." I was losing my cool fast. What if Trey had told his father his suspicions regarding how I felt for Adrian? What if they were here to take me away?

I had to calm down. I needed to be in control. That was the only way I would be able to get through this. I had managed to get out of being sent to re-education before. I could do it again.

I heard a knock sound at the door and rushed out to the living room, so that I would not be caught having a private conversation with Adrian. When Dimitri opened the door, though, it wasn't Stanton.

Abe Mazur sauntered in as if he owned the place. Of course, he very well might have, since he did set up the apartment for Sonya and Dimitri. I cringed at the sight of him. Nothing good could come of him being here.

"Aw, hello everyone," he said spreading his arms wide as a way of greeting. "Sydney, so good to see you again." Why did he choose me to speak to directly?

I was so consumed by seeing him that I missed the others that were with him. Rose and Mikhail were following behind him. Mikhail went straight to Sonya sweeping her up in a hug. I knew that this time apart was hard for them after all the years that they spent apart while Sonya was a Strigoi.

Rose stood with her hands on her hips as she said, "Don't let the old man intimidate you, Sydney." Then she walked over and gave me a hug. I hugged her back. I had missed her. She was the first one of their kind I could call my friend.

Even though it was good to see her, I released her quickly hoping that Stanton wouldn't walk in at that moment. I noticed her eyeing Dimitri. "Go on," I said. "I'm sure he has missed you." She shot me a big grin and went over to Dimitri giving him a big hug and kiss.

It was then that I realized that Adrian was nowhere around. Abe noticed me glancing towards the kitchen. "Is that where he is sulking?" Abe asked. I simply nodded my head, knowing that I could not go to him. If I did, it might look as if I cared more than I should.

"I'll retrieve the boy," Abe said and went towards the kitchen before I could stop him.

"So, what is going on?" Eddie asked since nobody had explained the reason for their visit yet. I knew we should probably wait for Stanton, but I was curious myself. I looked towards Rose. She glanced towards the kitchen as if to see if Abe would hear her.

"Well, Lissa was able to get the law passed removing the need for a relative to be able to vote. You guys are going to be able to go home. We're here to take you back." Rose was excited as she passed on this information, but I could see the sadness in Jill's eyes. I had promised her that I would do what I could to keep her here and I knew that I had to try.

"Rose, do you think I could speak with you in private?" I asked. She looked towards me and then to Dimitri. "You may use my room," Dimitri said gesturing back towards it and I followed her back.

Once the door was shut, I turned to her. "Listen, um," I wasn't sure how to explain that Jill did not want to go back. "Do you think that they could finish the school year?"

Rose gave me a surprised look. "I would have thought you would be glad to be rid of our kind. Have you grown a soft spot for us evil creatures?"

I knew she was just joking, but I really wasn't in the mood. "Listen, it has nothing to do with what I want. Jill has expressed that she would like to finish the school year here instead of being uprooted and to be truthfully honest, I think she deserves that much."

"Are you sure that is what she wants?" Rose asked, surprised that Jill would not want to return to Court.

"Yes, she is worried about everyone and what will happen once she returns. She just wants a little normalcy. Do you think you could arrange that?" I knew lobbying to keep the vampires in town would not help my already tainted status, but I had to do this for Jill.

"Well," Rose said as she thought, "I guess if Lissa is okay with it. It really is up to her. She is the queen."

"Please, Rose. You can sway Queen Vasilisa. Besides, just because the law passed, doesn't mean that Jill would definitely be out of danger," I pleaded.

"Okay, I'll convince Lissa, but I can't leave Dimitri here. We are trying to round up all the vigilante Moroi groups and I need his help with this."

"To be truthfully honest, I don't think he provides much in way of research anyway. He spends most of his time avoiding Adrian," as I said it, I was reminded of Adrian being trapped in the kitchen with Abe. I saw a pained look cross Rose's face at the mention of Adrian. Even if she was in love with Dimitri, she still cared for Adrian.

"Couldn't Mikhail stay with Sonya, so that she has a guardian with her?" I asked.

As Rose was brought out of her thoughts she said, "Yeah, I don't see why not. Is he okay? I mean Adrian," as if I wouldn't have known.

"I think so. He is not smoking or drinking anymore, so that is a plus," I said trying to be reassuring.

Rose just smiled, "Yes that is a plus. It was certainly something that I could not persuade him to do. I'm glad to see that he has found his own strength." So was I.

"We better get back out there before Stanton shows up," I said, now worried that we might have spent too much time alone.

As we moved to the living room, I saw Adrian sitting on the couch next to Jill. His expression was unreadable. Stanton had not returned yet. I noticed Rose go over to Abe and whisper something to him. His eyes glinted in response and he nodded.

Just then, someone knocked at the door. "Well, that must be our illustrious Alchemist. Go let her in for us, Rose," Abe said.

When Stanton entered, she was indeed alone. I wondered where Mr. Juarez was and the reason for his earlier visit, but I knew that those questions would have to wait. I could see the discomfort of being out numbered on Stanton's face, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

Feeling that I needed to show my loyalty to the Alchemists, I went and stood by Stanton. At least that would give the appearance of a united front. She seemed to relax at this gesture.

"So, what is the reason for this meeting?" Stanton asked looking straight towards Abe. I guess she knew who would be the ringleader out of the group.

"Why Ms. Stanton, you are lovely as ever," Abe smoothed on the charm. "Well, actually we have come to let you know that the law Queen Vasilisa was trying to pass has been passed."

Stanton seemed to relax even more, I'm sure with the relief that the vampires would be leaving.

"Since we are still trying to round up the vigilante Moroi groups, we have come to let you know that we need for the princess to remain here in Palm Springs until we are sure that it is safe. We will need to take Guardian Belikov back with us, though. Guardian Mikhail will be replacing him, as Ms. Karp's guardian." The way Abe spoke you would have never known that this story had been created a few moments ago.

I glanced over at Jill and saw the joy on her face. I was glad that I had been able to help her. She deserved this. The look on Stanton's face was another story. "You expect us to continue to baby-sit them," she said incredulously gesturing towards Jill and the others.

"Yes, I do," Abe said in one of his scarier voices. "Besides, I have a feeling that Miss Sage has been the one doing the baby-sitting, not you." Stanton flinched back from the stare that Abe was giving her. "I also think that you are the ones who wanted to form this little research group, that will undoubtedly benefit the Alchemists as much as the Moroi," he continued.

Stanton took a moment to compose herself before she spoke. "Has this been cleared with the appropriate people in charge?"

"Why of course," Abe said with a winning smile on his face.

"Fine," she said in a clipped tone. "Sydney, I expect you to continue your role in watching over the princess until further notice," Stanton said turning to me.

"Yes ma'am," I responded with a professional look on my face.

"Now if there is nothing further," she said looking back at Abe, "I really need to be going. Sydney, walk me out."

I simply nodded and followed her out the door. I hated leaving everyone like that, but I had a duty to follow Stanton's orders. Once down at her car, I noticed Mr. Juarez waiting for her.

Stanton turned to me once we reached him. "You have already met Mr. Juarez," she said gesturing towards him. "He will be checking up periodically on the research that is going on regarding spirit. You are to give him any data that he requests and trust me when I say that he will know if you are lying."

Well, there it was. I was definitely not out of the woods with the Alchemists. The fact that they would employ a sorcerer to monitor the research just goes to show that they must think we are up to something. I wondered if a sorcerer would be upset about us looking into the Alchemists performing magic. I did not think I wanted to find out.

I decided that showing fear was not an option. "Certainly, I would have no reason to hide anything from the Alchemists," I said politely. Stanton turned without another word and got into the car.

Mr. Juarez extended his hand to say goodbye. When I took it, I felt that odd tingling sensation again. "Until we meet again," he said as he let go with a sly smile on his face. That was when it hit me. Whatever he was doing when he touched me had to be some kind of spell. Was it to see if I was telling the truth? What else could he tell by touching me?

I watched as they drove away. What was I going to do? What if he could tell I had feelings for the vampires, for Adrian? I needed to put a stop to all of my emotions before things got worse.

**Sorry that there isn't much in the Sydney/Adrian department in this chapter, but I felt the chapter was important to the story. I promise to update another chapter soon. Please R & R. :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: Thank you for the reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I watched as they drove away. What was I going to do? What if he could tell I had feelings for the vampires, for Adrian? I needed to put a stop to all of my emotions before things got worse._

Chapter 21

"So, what just happened?"

I jumped at the sound of his voice, not realizing that he had come downstairs. "Where did you come from?" I asked as I turned towards Adrian.

"The same place that you did, the door," Adrian nodded back towards it.

I turned back in the direction that Stanton and Mr. Juarez had just left. "How long have you been standing there?" I asked worried that one of them would have seen Adrian waiting for me.

"Not long. I just saw them driving away," he said as I felt him move closer to me. "It was a little uncomfortable watching Rose and Dimitri make goo-goo eyes at each other."

I sighed as I turned back towards him. "Adrian, I know that I have said this before and I don't pretend to understand what you went through with Rose, but isn't it about time to move on. You have been doing so much better and, well, I think it is time that you just forgive them."

Looking into his eyes, I could see the struggle that was warring inside of him. I never realized before how much it hurt to see him still hung up on Rose, but it did. This confirmed it for me. The dream could not have possibly been a spirit dream, because in that dream when I looked into his eyes, I knew there was no one else except me.

"We better get back upstairs. I'm sure Abe is impatiently waiting for us," I said as I moved passed him towards the door. I could not bear to look into those eyes anymore.

When we returned to the apartment, Dimitri had gathered his few personal belongings and Abe was making arrangements to send for Mikhail's things. The joy on Sonya's face over having Mikhail there was overwhelming. I was glad to be able to have brought them together.

"We really should be going," said Abe. "I've got some important phone calls to make before Ms. Stanton checks up on whether this arrangement was approved or not." With that, he simply left the apartment knowing that everyone that was needed would follow his leave. Dimitri immediately followed him, but Rose hung back.

As I watched Rose look back over everyone she was leaving behind, she seemed to have a pained expression on her face. "Would you walk out with me Sydney?" she asked politely.

"Sure," I said with a smile. No matter what we had been through all those months ago, I knew that I cherished our friendship. If it were not for Rose, I would have never realized that my prejudices against her kind might have been a little shortsighted.

As we walked down in silence, I had a feeling that Rose wanted to talk about something. Her earlier expression of pain had not left her face. "What's wrong?" I asked with concern.

Rose looked at me and smiled. "I guess I never thought I would see the day when you would show concern for us," she said as she shook her head slightly. "I was just wondering how everyone was doing. I mean really doing. Don't just give me that 'their fine' crap."

"Really, I do think everyone is doing fine. Jill is settling in and finding her place at school, Eddie seems happy getting to protect Jill, and Angeline is enjoying learning guardian stuff from Eddie."

"And what about Adrian?" she asked.

"He has his good days and bad ones. I think it just takes him longer to get used to situations. He eventually seemed to warm up to the idea of Dimitri being around. I just don't think he takes change well, like when you showed up now," I said remembering how hurt I felt that he got upset from seeing her.

"You know, when we last spoke, he and I, he told me that I left a lot of collateral damage in the wake of my time on the run." I could see how much this bothered Rose as she said it. "I hate to admit, being in that room back there with all the people whose lives changed because of me, I believe he was right."

I did not like to see Rose blaming herself like this. The image I always held of her was of an invincible warrior. It was strange to see her vulnerable. "Rose, I don't believe that anyone back there blames you for how their lives have turned out. Every one of them made their own choices. Jill agreed to take her place. She wasn't forced. Eddie chose to help you at whatever cost to him. This freedom was exactly what Angeline wanted. Mikhail would have done anything to get his Sonya back."

"And Adrian?" she asked again.

"And Adrian knew what he was doing and made his own choices as well. No matter how much he denies it, he always knew how you felt about Dimitri. He helped you, because he loved you regardless of whether he thought you could return those feelings." I hoped I didn't sound bitter when I said this. I really did want to make Rose feel better, but it hurt knowing that Adrian would have probably still done anything for her.

"What about you? I know that Abe was holding something over you," she said meekly.

"I made my own choices as well. Abe may have asked for my help, but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't believe in your innocence." I could tell that Rose was skeptical about me being able to turn down Abe's request.

"Thank you, Sydney," she said. "I appreciate your kind words. I guess when I see Adrian, I am just reminded of all the hurt that I caused. I know that I can never fix the damage. I just hope that the wounds I inflicted will heal."

As I hugged Rose goodbye I said, "Just remember, everyone made their own choices. Any wounds that need to be healed will heal on their own time and there is nothing that you can do about it. It is not your fault."

She was smiling again as we released each other. "I think you have definitely grown a soft spot for us evil creatures of the night." I was glad no one else was around to hear her. I think she could see that I was wary. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," she said with a wink as she left me to join Abe and Dimitri.

When I returned to the apartment, I gathered up Eddie, Jill, and Angeline, so that we could return to Amberwood. Adrian was in the kitchen and I decided not to bother with asking him if he needed a ride. I was still hurt by his reaction to Rose and I was afraid that I might say something that I would regret.

Once back at Amberwood, Jill asked to speak with me in private, so I ushered her up to my room. "Thank you so much," she gushed. "I know that you are the reason we are getting to stay and I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Jill," I said. "I'm still not sure I agree with your choice, but I know it is what you want."

Jill seemed a little saddened by my statement. "Is it that bad to have us around?" she asked.

"No, it's not that," I said. I had not meant for her to think that. "It is just that, well. It's just that I can see the way you look at Eddie, those feelings that you try to hide. If you were back at Court you would have the opportunity to, I don't know, be with him."

"I appreciate your concern," she said, "but it isn't that easy. We could still never be together at Court. It would never be accepted. Guardians and royals don't mix. At least while I am here, I can still steal the occasional moment. It is more than I would ever get at Court." I could tell by the way that she spoke, that she had put a lot of thought into this.

"I guess," I said. "I just can't imagine that it would really be that hard."

She looked at me with sympathy. "I understand that this is hard for you to comprehend. It is always so black and white to you with the separation of humans and vampires, but every race has their own set of hierarchy. Even the humans do." I knew she was right.

"Besides, if we left, you would not be able to see Adrian anymore," she said.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked defensively.

"I just mean that the two of you seem to spend a lot of time together. I know that Adrian regards you as an important person in his life and I think that you feel the same way about him."

I was not exactly sure what she was getting at by the 'important person' part, but I knew if I didn't respond appropriately that she would get the wrong idea. "I do regard Adrian as a friend, but friends come and go all the time. Besides, it is not as if we could not keep in touch if he wanted to. There is always e-mail."

Jill just seemed to shake her head to this. "You're right I guess, but sometimes it is harder to lose a friend than you would think." With that, she left me to my thoughts.

The next week past uneventfully. My days were consumed by volleyball and my nights were filled with dreamless sleep. I had come to the decision that my dream of Adrian had just been a dream and not a spirit one. Otherwise, I was sure he would have tried to contact me again.

When we arrived at Clarence's on Saturday for Jill's feeding, I noticed that Adrian was not there. I had not spoken to him since our guests from Court had come to visit and I had missed him. I knew these thoughts were wrong, so I immediately dismissed them reminding myself of how Adrian had looked when he saw Rose.

"Sydney, would you mind if we hung out here for awhile?" Jill asked. "I know you don't like spending time here, so if you want to come back and get us that would be fine."

I smiled seeing how hopeful she was to spend time with Eddie. "That's fine. I'll just go outside for a bit. It is a nice day out," I replied.

"You know, Adrian could probably use your help if you wouldn't mind visiting him," she said coming over to me, so that no one would hear her.

"And what could he possibly need help on from me?" I asked tiredly.

"Well, he has been trying to fill out his paperwork for school. It is time for him to register if he wants to enroll next semester, instead of just auditing. I guess it is frustrating him, because he is letting his guard down more and I've been able to see things through his eyes again," she said with a distant look. I think his thoughts were pulling her into his head at that moment.

"Fine, I'll go help him," I said resolutely. I guessed it at least gave me a destination while they hung out at Clarence's. Besides, I probably should warn Adrian that he is not doing a very good job of blocking himself anymore from Jill. I know he doesn't like to affect her feelings.

On the car ride over to his place, though, the realization of what I was doing started to hit me. I hadn't been to his place since the night I watched him destroy all of those paintings of me. We really had never talked about what happened and I didn't count that dream as talking because I was sure it wasn't a spirit dream.

We had also never talked about why Trey had broken up with me or that Mr. Juarez had been sent to keep an eye on me. There had been so many things left unsaid between us that I wasn't sure if showing up on his doorstep was a good idea anymore.

When I parked the car, I sat there debating on whether I should get out or not. I missed Adrian, but I needed to bottle up those emotions before the Alchemists found out. I needed to move back to a professional relationship with everyone.

My heart leapt into my throat, as I was startled out of my thoughts by a knock at the car window. Adrian was peering in. "Are you going to come inside or just sit out here all night?" he said through the glass.

I guess there was no turning back now. I put my professional expression, which I hadn't used in a long time with him, back on as I exited Latte. "Jill said that you could use some help with your registration papers. Seeing as that paperwork is my specialty, I figured I could offer my expertise."

He frowned as I spoke to him. I noticed him studying my aura. "I didn't know that Jill was able to see that," he said continuing to watch me. I walked past him towards his door as I said, "It seems that you have been letting your guard down. I thought I should also inform you of this. I know how you like to be able to block Jill out, so that your thoughts don't bother her."

I felt him follow behind me as I entered his apartment. I knew that I was acting aloof, but I felt it was the only way. As long as I could keep some cool distance between us, I would be able to keep my emotions from the Alchemists.

I turned to Adrian. "So where is this paperwork at?" I asked not meeting his eyes. I knew if I looked into them, I would not be able to keep up this façade.

"It's right over here," he said as he sat down on the couch. He had all sorts of papers spread out over the coffee table.

I sat down on the couch, leaving plenty of distance between us, as I pulled the paperwork together towards me. "Well, this should be easy enough," I said as I took out a pen, "and I'm sure that you will be able to get the financial aid you were looking for this time." I never looked up from the paperwork as I started filling it out for him, but I could feel him watching me.

We sat in silence as I filled it out. It was an uncomfortable silence, but I knew that I needed to keep things professional. If I started to think about being in his apartment with him, I might start thinking about other things and that could lead to nothing but problems.

"Well, here you go," I said handing him his paperwork and not meeting his eyes as I turned to him. He took it with out a word. "Just make sure you turn it in on Monday, because that is the deadline and you wouldn't want to miss it."

I started to get up, when he reached out and took my hand. I think I stopped breathing at that moment. My mind was waging a mental battle with my emotions.

"Sydney?" Adrian said.

"I really need to be getting back to Jill." I removed my hand from his and did not look back. When I reached the door I said trying to remain distant, "Do try to block your feelings better with Jill."

Just then, Adrian's hand was beside me holding the door closed. I could feel his body so close to mine. All I had to do was turn around and I would be close enough to embrace him, to kiss him. A tear rolled down my cheek. I had to leave. It was the only way to keep the Alchemists from finding out. It was the only way to keep Jill here to enjoy her time with Eddie.

"Adrian, please let me leave," I said holding back any more tears. I needed him to let me go. I needed everything to go back to the way it was before I cared about him. Without a word, he removed his hand from the door and I slipped out without looking back.

As I drove, I had no particular destination. I just wanted to go somewhere and cry, but I had nowhere to go. I pulled myself together, so that I could pick up everyone from Clarence's. When I arrived, I found that Sonya and Mikhail had stopped by.

"So how was Adrian?" Jill asked. I saw Sonya studying me as I entered the room. Lord only knew what my aura looked like.

"He is fine. I squared away all of his paperwork for him and as long as he turns it in, he should have no problem getting enrolled next semester," I said matter-of-factly.

"Thank you for helping him," Jill said with a smile. "Oh and I guess for talking to him, because I can't feel his thoughts anymore again."

I was glad he had listened to me. "You're welcome." I saw that Sonya was still watching me, so I decided that now was a good time to talk with her about their research.

"I don't think I can help you with your research anymore," I said turning to Sonya. "Ms. Stanton made it clear to me that they would be watching the research more closely and I don't think it would be wise to continue to pursue that other aspect we were looking at." I didn't mean to be cryptic, but Eddie, Jill, and Angeline had not been made aware of the magical implications that we had been looking into and I did not feel that they needed to know now.

Sonya had no trouble picking up on what I was talking about. "That's okay dear. I'm sure there are plenty of other avenues we can pursue," she said with a knowing smile. I nodded a thank you to her. "I actually have a new idea that I would like to bounce off of you, if you would be free tomorrow. I promise that it won't cross any lines," she said.

I had a feeling that I would have to see Adrian again if I said yes, but as long as we kept my visit professional, I should be fine. "Sure. I will stop by tomorrow afternoon. How about around 1 pm?"

"That sounds good," she said with a smile.

When we returned to Amberwood, I left everyone saying that I needed to get caught up on the schoolwork that I had been neglecting because of volleyball. Once back in my room, I let my earlier emotions out and cried.

Trey had been right about how I felt for Adrian, but I had to stop. If I was sent away, the Alchemists would surely send Jill back to Court along with everyone else. Even if it hurt me to watch Adrian still hung up on Rose, I would never want him to have to face her all the time, not when he wasn't ready to.

**Sorry for any mistakes. Please read and review. :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: A Merry Christmas to all! I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays. Here is my next chapter, even though it is not Christmas related. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Even if it hurt me to watch Adrian still hung up on Rose, I would never want him to have to face her all the time, not when he wasn't ready to._

Chapter 22

My dreams were filled with thoughts of Adrian. What haunted me most was what he had said when I had been at his apartment. He had called me Sydney. He never called me Sydney. It had not occurred to me at the time, but now I couldn't stop thinking about it.

What did that mean? Even in the few intimate moments we had shared, he still used his affectionate nickname for me. Had something changed between us? He wasn't mad at me. The way he said my name, it was just different.

Just like the way he had tried to keep me from leaving. It was bolder than he had ever been with me. If I really looked back on all the intimate moments between us, I was the one who had started them. I was the one to make the first move. Adrian may talk a good talk, but he always let me be in control.

I knew now how I felt about Adrian and I always wondered if he felt the same way, if I caused the same feelings in him that he caused in me. Was that what this was about?

I spent the entire morning lost in my thoughts of Adrian. When 12:30 pm came, I decided I should start heading over to Sonya's for our meeting. When I arrived, Mikhail answered the door.

"Hi Sydney, come in, Sonya will be out in just a moment," Mikhail said with a smile.

"Thank you," I said as I brushed past him into the apartment. I had expected to see Adrian, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Is Adrian here?" I asked Mikhail.

"No, I don't think he was stopping by today," he said as he went to sit on the couch.

"Oh, okay." I was hoping that I did not sound too dejected. I knew I shouldn't have wanted to see him anyway, not if I was going to try to keep my relationship professional.

Sonya entered the room at that moment and I could tell she was studying my aura. I'm sure it gave away how I felt about Adrian not being there, but she didn't say anything. "Thank you so much for coming Sydney," she said with a smile.

"It is not a problem. So, what was this idea that you had come up with?" I asked hoping that I had been able to mask my feelings with my professional façade.

"Well it had to do with your tattoo and how we had discussed earlier that this might have been what made your blood undesirable," she started to explain. "Clearly the vampire blood in your tattoo is not the part that Strigoi would not like, because they have no problem drinking from Moroi. I figured it must be the other chemicals that make up the compound."

I nodded as I listened to her theory. I was not sure if discussing our tattoos and the chemicals that went into them crossed the magical line or not, but I figured I would hear her out.

"It is common knowledge among the Moroi that your tattoos are created by an Alchemist compound that uses vampire blood, even if we are not privy to the exact process. I was thinking that maybe the Alchemists could come up with some kind of variation on the chemicals that they mix together and create some kind of vaccine."

It really wasn't a bad idea and I guess as long as we never let on that Sonya already knew exactly what was in our tattoos besides vampire blood, then it wouldn't be crossing any lines.

"I think there is a lot of promise in your idea, but who would we vaccinate. Our goal, as Alchemists, is to hide the vampire world from humans. We can't very well go around requiring humans to get anti-Strigoi vaccines," I said pointing out the only flaw I could see.

"No, you wouldn't be able to vaccinate humans, but you could certainly vaccinate Moroi and dhampirs. Strigoi originated from Moroi. If we stop Moroi from being able to become Strigoi, we could drastically reduce the population of Strigoi."

I could see Mikhail listening intently to Sonya as she spoke. "If we reduced the Strigoi population and then took an active role to go out and hunt down Strigoi, we might just be able to eliminate them all together," he said.

I knew there was a lot of controversy in the Moroi world over taking an offensive position against Strigoi. One of the biggest arguments was the fact that there were so many Strigoi out there. A vaccine that would help reduce conversion would definitely help weigh in on that argument.

"I'll bring this information to Ms. Stanton and see what the Alchemists say. I think you have a really good idea, I'm just not sure how forthcoming they will be in creating a vaccine for vampires," I said.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. All I could think of was that it was Adrian. When Mikhail answered the door though, fear of what I had just been hoping for shot through me.

In walked Mr. Juarez as if he did not need to be invited in. Mikhail tensed at his intrusion, I'm sure ready to defend us if need be. I immediately stood, crossing the distance to Mr. Juarez, hoping that Mikhail would realize that it was okay for him to be here.

"Mr. Juarez," I nodded. "What brings you here?"

"I thought you would know," he said with a glint in his eyes. I had not told anyone about how he would be the one checking up on the research. I had hoped that he would have given notice before showing up and at least introduced himself.

"Ms. Karp, Guardian Mikhail, this is Mr. Juarez. He is the one that has been sent to follow up on any research that has been done," I said politely introducing him to Sonya and Mikhail.

Mikhail moved back towards the door taking up a watchful guardian stance, but he did not seem to relax. "How nice to meet you," said Sonya as she extended her hand to him. Mr. Juarez looked at it in disdain.

He turned to me and asked, "So what brings you here?"

I got the sneaking suspicion that Mr. Juarez had followed me in some way or why else would he have known I was here. "Ms. Karp asked if I would come over so that she could discuss an idea that she had to reduce Strigoi conversion."

I could tell by the look on his face that he was not the least bit interested in hearing about her idea. It seemed like he was more interested in why I would have needed to come to hear it.

"Well, now that you have heard her idea shouldn't you be getting in touch with Ms. Stanton regarding it," he said directly as if I would not know how to do my job.

"Actually, I was just leaving to go do that Mr. Juarez," I replied coldly. I did not appreciate his rude behavior towards Sonya and Mikhail.

"Good," he said as he turned to leave the apartment. I followed behind him glancing back at Sonya and hoping that she understood that I was sorry for his intrusion.

Once we got out to the cars, Mr. Juarez turned on me. "I do not enjoy babysitting you," he said with a glare. "You are here to do a job and that is all. There is no reason to take civilities with their kind. The sooner this research is complete, the sooner they leave and so can I."

With that, he turned and left. I watched dumbfounded as he drove away. He was sent here to baby-sit me? I thought he was here to keep an eye on the research. I thought that the Alchemists had found out I was looking into magic. Now, I wasn't sure what was going on.

I needed to go somewhere and think. I went to Spencer's in hopes that I would not run into Trey. When I walked in, Trey was behind the counter, but as soon as our eyes met, he moved into the back. I ordered my coffee and found a table facing the windows as far away from the counter as I could get.

Pulling out my phone, I called Stanton. I explained Sonya's theory to her and she told me that she would bring it up to the appropriate authorities for approval. I couldn't tell if she thought it was a good idea or not.

When I hung up with her, I pondered why Mr. Juarez was here and how he knew I was at Sonya's. I was brought out of my thoughts when the chair next to me was pulled out. I looked over as Trey sat down.

"Hey," he said meekly.

"Hey." I hadn't spoken to him since he had walked away after my first volleyball game.

"So, I hear you guys won your last game," he said. I could see that he was grasping for something to talk about.

"Yeah, it was close, but we pulled ahead," I said. It was funny to think of how comfortable I used to feel around Trey, trying to have this conversation now felt so awkward.

As the uncomfortable silence progressed, I wished I knew a way to remove myself politely from the conversation. That was when Mr. Juarez walked through the door. Trey looked surprised by his presence and immediately stood.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Trey asked.

"I was in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by to see you," he said in a very fatherly tone.

Trey seemed pleased that his father would have come to visit him. "Oh, okay. Well, this is my friend, Sydney Melrose," Trey gestured towards me as way of introduction. "Would you like a coffee?" he asked his father with a smile.

"It is nice to meet you, Sydney," Mr. Juarez said with a smile that was too big to be genuine. "Coffee would be great," he answered, turning back towards Trey. Trey hurried off to the counter to retrieve the coffee.

When Trey walked away, the look on Mr. Juarez's face turned icy as he turned back towards me. "Don't you need to be getting back to your school and watch over your charge?" he said. How was it that he kept finding me? What was going on?

I decided not to back down from him. "What's it to you, what I do? Are you following me?"

"I don't need to follow you," he snapped. "I know where you spend your time. I suggest that you find better ways to spend it, unless you would like the Alchemists to find out."

"Are you threatening me?" I retorted. I glanced over to make sure that Trey was still busy.

"Take it as a warning," he said as he turned to join Trey up at the counter.

When Trey's back was still turned I slipped out of Spencer's. I decided that I didn't want Trey to know that there was something going on between his father and me. I felt Trey deserved to think that his dad was just there to visit him.

As I drove back to Amberwood, I couldn't get the thought of how Mr. Juarez would know where I was without following me out of my head. There had to be something I was missing.

When I was walking back to my room, Jill came and found me. "Is everything okay?" she asked tentatively.

"Sure, why wouldn't it be?" I wondered.

"It's just that something seemed to be wrong between you and Sonya last night and I know you went to see her this afternoon," Jill said.

"Everything is fine," I said. "She actually came up with a pretty good idea. Now I am just waiting to hear from Ms. Stanton." I guess the look on my face still wasn't very convincing that nothing was bothering me.

"Is something else wrong?" she asked. When I hesitated, she added, "Maybe I could help. I've been useful before when you needed to talk things out."

She had been helpful that time I was trying to figure out if Kelly Hayes was a Moroi. "Okay, but let's head up to my room first," I conceded.

Up in my room, I explained the situation with Mr. Juarez. I had to let her know about Trey being a sorcerer, but I was confident that she would keep the secret.

"So basically you have a sorcerer keeping tabs on you," she said as she mulled over what I had told her. "I would think the only logical way he can always find you is that he is using a spell to track you. Didn't you say that when he shook your hand you felt an odd tingling sensation?"

"Yes," I said realizing that Jill might be on to something. "That makes sense, but why on Earth would he be following me? He said he was babysitting me and only threatened to tell the Alchemists if I didn't start behaving appropriately around your kind. That doesn't sound like he is working for the Alchemists, but he would have to be for Ms. Stanton to have brought him here."

Once again, Jill had a helpful idea. "Maybe Mr. Juarez is not only working for the Alchemists. Maybe he has someone else's interests in mind." She could be right. Whom else would Mr. Juarez keep an eye on me for, though? It was something that I would definitely have to think on.

Jill left me to my thoughts and I decided to turn in early. As I drifted off to sleep, my mind wandered back to the way Adrian had said my name. His voice held so much meaning, but I wasn't sure what to make of it.

Just like the other night when I had thought I was having a spirit dream, my dream began to change. I was standing in Adrian's living room and Adrian was at an easel in the corner. He looked up from his work as if he sensed my presence.

"It's about time you got here. I've been trying to reach you for awhile now," he said still sitting at his easel.

"You could have called," I said trying to shake the nervousness I was feeling from being surrounded by his magic. "Am I where I think I am?" I asked.

"If you mean, are you in a spirit dream, then the answer is yes," he said as he studied me. I wrapped my arms protectively around my body. I had been so sure before when we had kissed that it had been a spirit dream, how was I to be sure that this was for real or not.

"What are you thinking about?" Adrian asked as he continued to study me.

"I'm trying to decide if this is real or not," I said before I could stop myself. Adrian stood and crossed the room to me. I moved back further against the door as if I could become one with it. He stopped inches from me, clearly hesitating for fear that I might freak out on him.

"Can't you tell? Don't you have that feeling of not quite a dream, but not quite real life," he continued to look at me with concern.

"I thought I could tell, but," I hesitated before continuing, "I thought I had been in one before with you and clearly I hadn't been." I cast my eyes down, not meeting his.

"Sage, why would you think that the other dream wasn't a spirit dream as well?" His question startled me. I met his eyes searching them for what he meant. If that other dream had been a real spirit dream, then that meant that he knew how I felt. That meant that he acted as if it didn't happen when we had been around each other. Had he wished it never happened? When he had seen Rose, I could see how much he still cared for her. I did not understand the emotions that were welling up inside of me. I felt my eyes prickle with tears as I looked back towards the ground.

"Sage, please look at me," Adrian pleaded.

Without looking up I said, "If the other dream had been a spirit dream, then why did you act as if it never happened?" I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

"Sage, please look at me," he said again still not moving any closer to me.

I felt my world crumbling around me. I had confessed my feelings to him and he had done nothing when we saw each other in the real world. I knew in my heart that he really could not have acted on it, not with the Alchemists watching us so closely, but still. He could have given me some kind of sign that it had happened. He should have at least not been so upset over seeing Rose.

"Adrian, please let me go," I said softly knowing that he could hear me.

"No," he simply said. More tears ran down my cheeks. I couldn't face him. I turned to the door as if opening it would actually let me out of this dream. He moved closer to me, putting his hands against the door on either side of my body.

Leaning down to my ear, I shivered as he spoke. "Sydney, I need to talk to you and you are going to listen," he said softly. There it was again. He said my name, but I still couldn't place the way he was saying it. I tried to keep my breathing even and I nodded my head in response, not turning back to him.

"Yes, that dream was a spirit dream," I could tell by the way he was talking that he felt the need to confess to me. "Everything we did, everything that was said, it happened." His breathing seemed to hitch as he said this. "I didn't say anything to you because," he seemed to be fumbling for the right thing to say. "Well, because I wasn't sure that you really meant it. I wasn't sure if you realized that it was real. I wasn't sure if you would regret it." The way he said that last part, his voice was even softer, sadder.

I felt like I needed to say something, but before I could, he continued. "Then the Alchemists showed up and you were so scared. I didn't know of any way to protect you, but I felt like I needed to." He seemed to laugh to himself with that statement. "As if I could ever protect anyone from anything. I once thought I could protect Rose and all I ended up doing was sending her into the arms of the man that she truly loved," the way he said this carried a slight edge of spirit-induced insanity. I had been around it enough now to pick it up. I shivered again at the thought of being this close to Adrian when I was not sure what he was going to do next.

"Ah and then there was Rose showing up as if to remind me of my inadequacies. How I reacted, it was wrong. It felt wrong. How could I be so upset over seeing her, when you had just said what you had to me the other night?" his voice still seemed a bit unstable but it was also filled with so much regret.

I couldn't keep quiet any longer, "If it really bothered you so much, then why didn't you try to contact me at all?" I meant for it to come out bitter and angry because part of me was, but instead it just came out hurt. I knew that more traitorous tears had fallen down my face and I was glad that I was not facing him.

He sighed against my body. "Because Sage, I am weak. That is why I was slipping up with Jill. I'm not strong enough to protect anyone from my thoughts even." He spoke with such despair.

Again I spoke, "If that were true, that you are weak, then why are we here?"

"I don't know," he seemed to be struggling again for the right words. "When you came by, I was so happy. I thought that maybe, just maybe all was forgotten. The mistakes that I knew I had made were forgiven. But, then you acted as if seeing me was nothing more than a professional courtesy. As if I meant nothing and it hurt." He seemed to chuckle to himself again.

"You know, Sage, no one else has ever made me feel like this. I feel so out of control of my own thoughts when you are near. I feel like I can open up to you and say anything. Yet, I can't help but worry that I will scare you away when I speak."

I was clutching the door handle still, wishing that the door would disappear and I could go through it. Everything that he said, it hurt. It hurt because I felt the same way about him. It hurt because it could never be, we could never be.

"Sage," he breathed. "Please, I need to know what you are thinking."

I took a deep breath before I spoke. "I'm thinking that it doesn't matter how we feel, a Moroi and a human can never be together." As I said this, I could feel my own heart breaking, but I knew it was the right thing to do. "What happened the other night, what was said, I will never forget it, but nothing else can come of it. I am going to do my job to keep Jill safe and help with the spirit research, but nothing more."

I pulled myself together enough to turn around and face him. As I looked into Adrian's gorgeous eyes, I could see the hurt from what I just said hidden in them. His body was so close and he made no effort to move away now that we were facing each other.

Keeping eye contact I said, "You know that I am right. I will never forget how you make me feel, but you need to let me go. This is just the way that it has to be." In a bold move by me, I pulled him into a kiss. It was gentle and tender and perfect. As he pulled back and continued to look into my eyes, he let the dream fade. Before it was completely gone, I heard him say, "I love you, Sydney."

I woke up crying in my bed as I said to myself, "I love you too, Adrian."

**For anyone looking for that Sydrian Christmas cheer, checkout _Lacrimosa Cruentus Luna's 'Chapter 11: Disarm' _of her story _'The Sydrian Shuffle'_. Also, if you haven't heard yet, Richelle Mead released three out-of-context quotes today from the new book The Golden Lily. You can find them on her blog. She posted a link to it on her Facebook page. Sorry for any errors. Please read & review. :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews. It is also really nice to see new readers. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I woke up crying in my bed as I said to myself, "I love you too, Adrian."_

Chapter 23

Sleep did not come easily after the spirit dream that I shared with Adrian. I think I could have lived with the fact that I had feelings for Adrian, but knowing that he felt the same way was what made everything more difficult.

When my alarm went off to alert me to my morning volleyball practice, I knew that this week was going to be a long one. Adrian at least had been strong enough to keep what had happened between us from Jill. She noticed that something was wrong, but did not know what. I told her that I was just worn out by all the volleyball practices and schoolwork.

By Wednesday, when I took everyone to Clarence's for Jill's feeding, I prayed that seeing Adrian would not be awkward. We had not spoken since the dream and I wasn't even sure what to say once I did see him again.

As we entered the living room, Adrian and Clarence were seated on the couch and Adrian was excitedly discussing something with him. I could see that Clarence seemed very pleased by what they were discussing.

As soon as Adrian looked up, Jill squealed with delight. Whatever he had been thinking about, apparently he no longer could hide it from her.

"You got in! I just knew you would. Oh, I'm so happy for you!" Jill gushed as she went running over to Adrian hugging him awkwardly, since he was still sitting on the couch.

"Thank you Jailbait," he said with a smile as he patted her back affectionately.

Angeline said a half-hearted congratulations and went to sit over in one of the chairs.

"Congratulations," Eddie said extending his hand to Adrian as Jill moved off him. "I guess it won't be long before you will be teaching the masses how to create masterpieces." Eddie's comment surprised me. I was not aware that that was what Adrian had wanted to do with his college education.

Adrian clearly was surprised by Eddie's comment as well and glanced over towards Jill.

"Sorry," she said meekly. "It just kind of slipped out. You were having trouble, remember." That was when I realized it must have been something that was on his mind back when he was trying to fill out his enrollment forms.

"Yes, congratulations Adrian," I said as I remained by the door, keeping my distance.

When our eyes met, he smiled. He had such a gorgeous smile. "Thank you, Sage. I could not have done it without your help. So, are you ready to get out of here?" he asked as he always did, giving me that distraction that kept me from realizing I was in a vampire's home.

"You did notice that it was raining outside, didn't you?" I said as he ushered me out of the living room.

"I had a different distraction in mind," he said once we were in the hall and the living room doors were closed. I stiffened to his comment. I had hoped that seeing him would not be difficult, that we would be able to remain friends without the awkwardness, but being this close to him now and not knowing what he was suggesting had my mind running wild.

He moved closer to me. "Don't worry Sage. That was not what I meant. I understand our situation. I may not like it, but I understand it," he said as he looked into my eyes with such seriousness.

Then, just like that, his mood shifted and he was all smiles again. "Come on. I've got a surprise," he giddily said as he dragged me by my hand down the hall.

We came to a room that I had been in before, the billiards room. The balls were already racked and ready to go on the pool table. He released my hand as he went over to retrieve two pool sticks.

"You want to play pool?" I asked a little dumbstruck.

"No, I want to go bowling," he joked. "Of course I want to play pool. You do know how to play, don't you?"

"Uh…" I hated admitting that there was one more thing that I had never done growing up, but I wasn't sure I could fake knowing how to play.

"Sage, you have got to be kidding me. You've never done this either," he said almost exasperated.

"Well, it's not like I have spent a lot of time in bars or billiards rooms," I said trying to hide my embarrassment.

Adrian waved this off. "No matter, this really is simple geometry, unlike mini-golf. That is definitely talent," he said reminding me of how confident he had been about his talent for mini-golf.

He walked over to me handing me a pool stick. "Here, I'll break, so you can see how it is done. Okay?" He leaned over and positioned himself with the stick. I tried to pay attention to what he was doing and how he was holding the stick, but my eyes kept drifting to other parts of his body.

I guess his shot was a good one. I really wouldn't know. The balls splayed across the table and a striped ball went into one of the pockets.

"I'm stripes," he said as he turned towards me. A blush crept up on my cheeks as I realized I was still watching him, so I looked back at the table as he continued. "You know, since I hit a striped ball in. That means you need to try and hit the solid-colored balls in."

I took a step towards the table, trying to decide exactly how I was going to knock the white ball into a solid ball and make it go in, when I felt him move closer to me. "See, it's just simple geometry," he said while he stood close. "You just need to line up your shots, hitting them at the proper angles against the bumpers to send the balls in the right direction."

By the way he spoke, I could tell he knew exactly what he was talking about and that he clearly wasn't as uneducated as I sometimes assumed him to be. With his proximity and the way I could feel his breath against my hair, I just could not concentrate to figure out what I should be doing.

"Here," he said completely oblivious to my total lack of speech or movement. He moved closer to me putting his arms around me helping get me into position. Then as he leaned us closer to the table, he said close by my ear, "You place your left hand down on the table like this to line up the stick and hold it steady. Then you take your right hand and slide the stick through."

I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on what he was saying and not how he was holding me so close with his lips inches away from mine.

"Sage, you have to look at what you're doing," he said softly. I opened my eyes to see that his face had moved closer and was looking into mine.

I cleared my throat, hoping that my voice would not crack when I spoke. "Yeah, I knew that," I breathed as I turned my attention back towards the pool table. Adrian released his hold on me and stepped back, so that I could take my shot.

The shot was lousy. I at least hit the cue ball, but I totally missed the solid ball that I was supposed to be aiming for.

"Not bad for your first try," he said sounding a little baffled by how poorly I played this game, when I had been such a natural at mini-golf.

He explained as he moved to the table to take his shot, that he wasn't going to try getting a ball in, but instead he was going to line them up for his next shot. I tried to follow what he was doing and pay attention to the game, but I had trouble concentrating. Why was this so hard for me? He seemed to be doing fine with this whole friends thing.

When he turned towards me after making his shot, I was caught staring at him again and not paying attention to the game. "Do you not like this game?" he asked seeming a bit down as he watched me. "I thought for sure this would be your kind of sport considering it is based on math."

"No. I like it. It's great," I stammered. I needed to stop thinking about him and start focusing on what we were trying to do together.

"Here. Let me see if I can get this right," I said as I moved towards the table determined to make an effort to do better. I lined up a shot, got into position, and made one of the solid balls go into the pocket. I gave out an excited yelp at my achievement and without thinking, turned and hugged Adrian.

He held me in his arms tentatively, I think waiting for me to realize what I had done. As I did, I moved back, but remained in his embrace. We were so close, gazing into each other's eyes. I wanted to cross those inches. I wanted to kiss him. I knew we were playing with fire, so I backed out of his embrace completely.

As if he understood all the thoughts that had been going through my mind, he smiled slightly. Turning his attention back to the game, he said, "You get to go again, since you got a ball in."

The game went on like so. I would occasionally make a shot, if I weren't too busy being distracted by Adrian. He seemed to be able to handle our closeness better and stayed focused on the game. In the end, he beat me and by a lot.

"Do you want to try again?" he asked as he studied me.

"Um, sure." I decided that if I were going to have any chance at actually concentrating on the game, I would need a distraction, so I decided to question him about what Eddie had said.

After he racked the balls, he gestured for me to try to break them. I managed to move all the balls, but none of them went in.

"So, you want to teach art?" I asked questioningly.

Adrian just shrugged. "I've thought about it. I don't really know what I want to do, but I figured that I should get something out of this whole college experience." He took his shot and effortlessly sunk a ball into the corner pocket.

"Where would you teach?" I asked. I knew that there were Moroi who lived and worked among humans, but I wasn't sure I could see Adrian doing that.

Once again, Adrian shrugged. "I guess it all depends on where Jill goes. I figured I'm going to have to stay close to her, so I could at least get a job teaching wherever she goes to school. That way I wouldn't be the pathetic permanent guest at an Academy again." I caught a hint of bitterness at the way he said the last part.

"You're not pathetic, Adrian," I said, but he didn't respond.

"Well, I think you would make a great teacher," I said brightly.

Adrian looked up to meet my eyes. "You think so?" he asked a little surprised by my comment.

"Of course I do. You are very knowledgeable about art and architecture. You're also very skilled. Combine that with your natural charisma and you would make an excellent teacher." I could see that this praise from me was a bit unexpected.

"Don't look so surprised," I said to him. "Why wouldn't you think that I would think this of you?" We continued to play pool as we talked.

"I guess after the whole job-hunting fiasco, I didn't think you would think that I could work," he said.

"Adrian, I have always thought that you could do whatever you set your mind to. It is just whether you want to apply yourself or not and I could see you being able to apply yourself to this." He smiled at my encouragement.

"I have seen your passion when we have discussed art," I said. "The paintings that you have created are always breathtaking."

He had moved around the pool table to take his next shot and was standing beside me now. After he made his shot, he turned to me and said, "I had a beautiful muse." Our eyes were locked as he reached out brushing a strand of hair from my face. That unmistakable urge to close the distance between us reared its head again.

Fighting back the urge, I moved towards the table to take my shot. "Do you think you could give me some art lessons?" I asked, keeping my back turned to him.

There was a pause before he responded as if he were trying to get himself under control as well. "Well, if I'm going to have to learn how to teach art, I might as well start with someone who lacks the skills to do it," he responded trying to lighten the mood.

"Hey," I said. "How do you know I lack skills? Have you ever seen any art that I have created?" I was glad to be back to poking fun at each other.

"Considering you did not have time for games growing up, I seriously doubt you had time for art lessons," he said with a smirk.

As he said that, I made my shot and won the game. As I turned back to him, I smiled. "Well, I may not have grown up with these games," I said gesturing towards the pool table, "but I certainly have no problem learning them. I bet I would be your star student in no time."

Adrian moved closer to me, leaving barely any space between us. "You are probably right," he said looking deeply into my eyes. This time I wasn't sure I could fight the urge to close the distance. Luckily, a knock sounded at the door causing us to move apart. It was Eddie.

"Sorry to bother you guys, but there is some guy here to see you," Eddie said to me.

Eddie probably volunteered to find us, so that no one else would walk in on us if something were going on. Ever since the fight Adrian and I had, Eddie has been less teasing and more protective regarding us.

"Who is it?" Adrian asked.

Eddie shrugged. "I don't know. He didn't want to come in. He is waiting out front." I guessed it was a good thing it had stopped raining.

I went to the front door with Eddie and Adrian following behind me. When I opened it, Mr. Juarez was leaning against his car that was parked next to Latte. Anger flashed in his eyes when he saw Eddie and Adrian with me.

"You guys can go back inside," I said to them. "It's okay. He works with the Alchemists. I'll be right in."

Eddie said protectively, "If you need anything, I won't be far." Then he moved back into the house. Adrian hesitated a moment before following behind Eddie.

Mr. Juarez had a disgusted look on his face as I walked out to him. "You just can't do your job, can you?" he said.

"I am doing my job," I said coldly. "I am taking the princess to her feeding."

"It does not take that long for a feeding, unless the princess has decided to drink the feeder dry," he said irritated.

"I don't know who asked you to keep an eye on me, but you don't need to. I know how to do my job and I am not doing anything worthy of a babysitter," I said.

"Is that so," he retorted. "You do realize how long you have been here? Hours. Hours in which, what have you done exactly? What justifiable reason do you have for the length of time that you have spent in these vampires' company? Do you think that the Alchemists would classify playing games as a good use of your time?" I couldn't hide the look of shock on my face from him knowing about me playing pool.

"You may think that you do not need a babysitter, but clearly you do. You may think that your actions and reactions have gone unnoticed, but they have not. Not by everyone. Not by me. You are walking a thin line Miss Sage and I am growing weary of warning you."

He turned to get in his car. "Nobody asked me to keep an eye on you other than the Alchemists, but it was clear after seeing you two together that you needed it."

"What are you talking about? Seeing me together with whom?" I asked puzzled by his parting comment.

Mr. Juarez glanced back towards the side of the house before getting into his car and driving away. I turned towards where he had been looking. After I could no longer hear Mr. Juarez's car in the distance, Adrian rounded the corner.

"Were you spying on me?" I asked.

Adrian shrugged, keeping his distance. "Not so that he could have seen," he said. "What's going on? Sonya mentioned that he made a surprise visit at her apartment."

"How much did you hear?" I asked.

"All of it," he said watching me intently as he closed some of the distance.

I sighed. I decided that it was time that I explained what I knew about Mr. Juarez to Adrian, especially since it now seemed to have something to do with him as well. After listening to what I had to say, Adrian seemed to agree that someone else, besides the Alchemists, must be behind Mr. Juarez's reasons for watching me.

"He said that no one else asked him to watch me, though," I said.

"Maybe the key to what he said is 'asked'," Adrian replied. I gave him a questioning look. "Did he know that Trey and you dated? Maybe he is looking out for you because he feels Trey would want him to."

I guess it made sense. I had never told Adrian that Trey thought there was something going on between Adrian and me. I don't know whether Trey would have told his father or not. I guess Mr. Juarez could just feel compelled to make sure I don't get caught because Trey would be worried about what might happen to me.

As I was mulling this over, Adrian spoke, "Why did you and Trey break-up?" I looked up meeting his eyes.

It was probably time I told him, it was not as if it wasn't true. "Trey could see that we had feelings for each other and that I didn't feel that way for him," I said.

"Oh," he said a bit surprised that I even gave him an answer this time. It had been at least the third time he had asked me this. "Why tell me now?" he asked.

I moved closer to him. "Maybe I am just finally able to believe what he said." The gap between us had shrunk to inches. I could tell he was watching me, waiting for me to make the next move. As much as I wanted to make that move, I knew I shouldn't.

Stepping back I said, "I think I should probably be getting everyone back to Amberwood."

I watched as his expression changed, hiding the longing that I knew was mirrored on my face. "Probably," he said.

Once back at Amberwood, I discussed Adrian's thoughts regarding Trey being the cause for Mr. Juarez's concern with Jill. I did not tell her that Trey thought there was anything between Adrian and me. I simply said that Trey was concerned about how close I seemed to be with all of them.

"It sounds like it could just be Mr. Juarez looking out for you because he knows you and Trey were close," Jill said. "Eddie seemed pretty concerned by his visit. I didn't tell him who he was, but I did let him know that you said someone would be checking up on the research periodically."

I thanked her for keeping the secret regarding who Mr. Juarez was and parted ways with her. Angeline, Eddie, and Micah were waiting for her to go watch a movie in the lounge at the library. They had invited me, but I turned them down saying I needed to finish some schoolwork.

When my schoolwork was done, I decided to turn in. I laid in bed with a smile on my face, thinking back to the time I had spent with Adrian today. It had been fun playing pool with him, especially those moments when we were close together. Sleep came easily and, even though I kind of wished he would have, Adrian did not visit my dreams, at least not in the spirit sense.

**Please R & R. Thanks! :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: I am so sorry for the late update. The flu hit my family hard and took awhile for all of us to get past. Then came all of the postponed family get-togethers that we had to attend. Now that the holidays and festivities are behind me, I hope to get back on track with my story. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Sleep came easily and, even though I kind of wished he would have, Adrian did not visit my dreams, at least not in the spirit sense._

Chapter 24

An entire week had passed since Mr. Juarez's visit to Clarence's. Maybe that was because the time I spent with Adrian had become less casual. The few times that I saw Adrian, we spent very little time alone, during which, we strictly talked about his art classes and my volleyball practices. I think after how close we had come to giving in to our feelings over pool, we had come to a silent agreement to keep some physical distance.

That would be why I was so surprised by the text message I received from Adrian late Wednesday evening after I had already seen him at Clarence's for Jill's feeding. The text simply read: HELP.

I remembered the last time I received this same text from him. It had been when he had painted a portrait of me and he wanted to make sure that he got my eyes right. I also remembered the feelings that the painting had stirred inside of me. I knew nothing good could come of me going to see him, but I could not stop myself.

I told Mrs. Weathers that I needed to head over to see my brother and I would probably be back late. Considering it was already time for curfew, she was definitely not happy about the situation. I promised to call if it would be past midnight and she grumpily agreed, reminding me that it was a school night.

As I stood outside Adrian's door, I began to wonder if I should have just called to see what he wanted. I knew it was too late now, so I knocked. Again, just like the last time, he took awhile to answer the door making me wonder if 'help' had meant that he was in real trouble.

Also, just as last time, he answered the door with paint splattered on his clothes. This time the paint splatters were a bit more extreme considering they were flecked throughout his brown hair.

His emerald eyes were bright as they took me in. "You came," he said as if he had not been sure that I would.

"Of course I came. It is kind of hard to ignore a message like 'help'," I said hoping that he did not hear the relief in my voice of seeing that he was okay or the excitement that seeing him like this brought to me. "You never know when that could mean someone is in danger of bodily harm."

"Oh," he said. "I didn't mean for you to think that. Next time I promise to be clearer in what kind of help I need." He grabbed me by the hand pulling me into his apartment and then noticed what I was wearing. "I definitely should have clarified what kind of help I needed. You can't wear that."

As he said this, I looked down at myself. I wasn't sure what he meant by that. I was wearing the kind of clothing I always wore. I had purposely tried to dress more casual by wearing a knit sweater, as opposed to a button-down blouse. Then I looked at him and noticed just how casual Adrian was. He was in a t-shirt and sweatpants. I don't think I had ever seen him look so casual.

Before I could say anything, he had gone to his bedroom. He came back with a t-shirt and another pair of sweatpants. The fact that he owned one pair of sweatpants shocked me enough, but two pairs were almost unbelievable.

"Here. Go change into these," Adrian said as he handed me the clothes. I took them hesitantly.

"What exactly do you need help with?" I asked curiously.

"I'll explain just as soon as you get changed," he said dismissing me.

I went into the bathroom to switch into the clothes that he had given me. The shirt was an emerald green that would have matched Adrian's eyes beautifully. It was big and hung off me more like a nightshirt. The sweatpants were a simple heather gray. They were big as well but at least they had a drawstring that I could tighten and tie. I rolled the pants up at the bottom so that I would not trip and decided to leave my shoes off. They would not have gone with the clothes I was now wearing.

Adrian was waiting for me as I exited the bathroom. I could have sworn I saw a slight smile cross his lips as he looked at me.

"Are you going to explain to me what the emergency was yet?" I asked trying to ignore the look on Adrian's face.

He grabbed my hand taking me towards his bedroom as he talked. "Remember how I was telling you that I had to work on my abstract art for class."

"Uh-huh," I said trying not to seem the least bit concerned that I was going to his bedroom.

"Well," he said as we entered his room and I took in the paint splattered walls. "I thought that the best way to get better at my abstract art was to practice." His bed, dresser, and nightstand were pushed to the middle of the room and everything including the carpet was covered with plastic.

As he turned to me, I tried to put on a polite smile, but I knew I was failing. "I know," he said frustrated. "It's horrible. I was really hoping that you would be able to help me before I had to declare this room a disaster and never set foot in it again."

"Um, I'm not sure what you expect me to be able to do," I said glancing back over the walls. There was every color of the rainbow splattered across them.

"Please Sage," he pleaded. "You have to help me. I can't sleep in a room that looks like this." I couldn't help but smile. After the goldenrod living room walls, I wasn't sure why the rainbow splatters would bother him so much.

"Okay," I said. "Do you have anything dark but neutral, like a brown, maybe?" I hadn't noticed all the gallons of paint that he had lining the door to the closet until he walked over to them.

"Here are all the colors that I have," he said gesturing down to them. As I looked over the colors, I noticed that he probably did not have enough of any one color to paint the entire room. I separated the bright colors from the darker colors. I figured a darker color would cover the splatters better.

"Adrian, I think your only choice will be to paint all four walls a different color and these colors over here are the only ones that will be dark enough to cover what you have done," I said gesturing to the dark colors that I had pulled out. "I guess just pick which four you like best."

He leaned over looking at his choices. He settled on navy blue, forest green, burgundy, and brown. Over all, I did not think the colors would go horrible together, but the room would definitely be dark.

We got started on the first wall and by the time it was finished, I realized that it was nearing midnight. "I'm going to need to call Mrs. Weathers and let her know that I'm not going to make it by midnight," I said as we were washing out the navy blue paint from the rollers.

"Just tell her that you are spending the night here," Adrian said casually. I looked over at him trying to read his expression. "I am your brother, right? So, it's not like anything is going to happen," he said with amusement this time.

I shook my head slightly to his comment. "That's not the point, Adrian. I'm just not sure it is a good idea if I stay here," I said pointedly to him.

"Look, nothing is going to happen. I promise," he said. "We are just going to paint the room. If you want to leave when we are done, that is fine, but if you want to stay, you can sleep in my bed." My eyes widened to his comment. "I'll sleep on the couch," he added hastily realizing what he had implied.

"Fine," I replied apprehensively and then walked out into the living room to call Mrs. Weathers.

"Your brother really needs to learn that your education is more important than whatever he always seems to need you for late in the evening," Mrs. Weathers said condescendingly.

"Look, I don't normally like to talk about this," I started, trying to push as much sadness into my voice as I could, "but my brother is not well. He has a terminal illness that flares up at different moments, usually at night when he needs his rest."

I heard Mrs. Weathers take an audible breath. "I'm so sorry my dear. I did not realize. You spend as much time there as you need. Let me know if you will be unable to return to school tomorrow. I will make sure that you are excused from your classes," she said tripping over her words to make sure that I knew just how concerned she was for me.

"Thank you," I said sadly. "I appreciate that. Would you not mention this to Jill or Eddie? I don't want them to worry. Jill doesn't really know how bad it gets for our brother at times."

"Of course dear, don't you worry. If you need anything else, just let me know." As I hung up the phone I felt a little guilty about the lie, but I figured it would be best, just in case I ever needed to go out again this late in the evening.

As I turned, I saw Adrian leaning in the kitchen doorway with a smirk on his face. "Terminal illness, huh?" he said with a laugh. "So, how do you plan to nurse me back to health?" The suggestive comment rolled off his tongue in a way that was all Adrian, but I could tell after he said it, he wished he could take it back.

I decided to roll with it. I couldn't take the verbal tiptoeing he seemed to be doing now. I had made the decision to stay and I didn't want the entire evening to be uncomfortable.

"I don't plan on nursing you back to health," I retorted. "I plan to watch you die a miserable death sleeping in that room with those horridly splattered walls." His eyes lit up to my comeback.

"Now let's get back to painting those walls, before I decide to really go through with my evil plan," I said as I headed back to his bedroom with the rollers.

It was four in the morning by the time we had all the walls painted and there was no way I was driving back to Amberwood at that time. The only problem was that I wasn't going to be able to sleep in Adrian's bed either. The walls were still wet and the smell of paint was too strong.

As we wandered out into the living room, I noticed that the couch was really the only place left to sleep. I looked over at Adrian. We were both covered in dried paint and we were too tired to clean up. "You take the couch, Sage. I'll just sleep on the floor," Adrian said as he started moving the coffee table out of the way.

"Adrian, you don't have to do that," I said as I sat down on the couch. He turned to me, meeting my eyes. "Look, we've slept together on the couch before. It's not as if anything is going to happen. You are my ill brother after all," I said with a chuckle.

He smiled to my comment but continued to lay a pillow and blanket out on the floor. "Sage," he said turning to me after a moment, but the way he said it melted my heart. "I promised you nothing would happen." He turned back towards his makeshift bed. "I'm not sure I can keep that promise if we share the couch."

My body heated to the comment. I wanted to reach out and touch him. Tell him that I didn't care. Tell him that I needed to feel him next to me. I couldn't, though. He was trying so hard to do the right thing and I couldn't be the weak link.

I laid down on the couch and said "Goodnight Adrian." I heard him settle down on the floor beside the couch. "Goodnight Sydney." I closed my eyes willing back the tears knowing how hard this had to be on both of us. Forcing myself to remain still, I finally fell asleep.

When I awoke, I wasn't sure what time it was. I laid on my side looking down at Adrian. He was still asleep. He looked so peaceful. I reached down and ran my fingers through his hair. Then I ran my finger along his cheek. He stirred a little and turned on his side away from the couch.

I decided to get up and get my shower, because I wasn't sure I could lay there and keep my hands off of him if I stayed.

I started up the water, hoping that I wouldn't wake Adrian. As I stood in front of the mirror, I took in my dried paint appearance. Even though the clothes were too big for me, I could not help but feel content wearing his clothes. After I peeled them off, I held them close wishing that I could keep them.

I showered quickly, realizing too late that I had not locked the door. I was worried that Adrian would walk in on me. He may have made comments of how beautiful he thought I was, but I was not so sure he would feel that way if he saw me naked.

My appearance was always a touchy subject for me and it was even more so when I had no clothes on. As I wrapped the towel around me, I made sure to lock the door. I couldn't help but notice my reflection. I wasn't sure what Adrian could possibly see in me. I wasn't curvy like Rose and I wasn't super skinny like other Moroi. I was just there.

A knock sounded at the door. "Are you decent?" Adrian asked through it.

"Um, give me a second," I said as I hurriedly threw on my bra, underwear, and clothes that I had worn to see him the night before. When I opened the door, he was waiting. His eyes didn't hold the same light that they had from seeing me come out in his t-shirt and sweatpants.

"I didn't mean to rush you," he said. "I just kind of, um, needed to, um." I realized what he probably needed and moved out of the bathroom.

"No problem," I said gesturing towards the bathroom. "It's all yours." He gave a slight nod and went in shutting the door behind him. His discomfort in having to interrupt me just so that he could use the bathroom was almost amusing.

I went out to the living room and started folding the blanket from the floor. When Adrian returned, he seemed more awake. "You don't have to do that," he said gesturing towards where I was straightening up.

"It's fine," I said. "It's the least I can do for making you sleep on the floor." We knelt down at the same time to get the pillow.

"You didn't make me sleep on the floor," he said gazing into my eyes.

"You're right. You made you sleep on the floor," I said trying to lighten the mood.

"Would you believe me if I said I was just trying to be chivalrous?" he asked as we stood, eyes still locked both of us holding the pillow.

"Yes," I breathed. I was lost in his eyes. We moved towards each other, both of us letting go of the pillow that was between us and letting it fall to the floor.

Then a knock sounded at the door. You would think by now we would be used to this interruption, but we jumped at the sound moving back from each other.

"Are you expecting someone?" I asked Adrian as I turned to eye the door warily.

"The only visitor I ever have is already here," he said as he followed my gaze towards the door. It warmed me to know that I was the only one he ever had at his apartment.

He crossed to the door and looked out the peephole. "It's Trey's dad," he said confused as he turned to me.

"You have got to be kidding me," I let out exasperatedly. I walked over to the door and threw it open with such frustration. "What could you possibly want?" I snapped leaving behind any civilities that I would have normally felt compelled to say.

Mr. Juarez did not look surprised to see me and certainly was not bothered by my tone. He swept into the apartment, just as he had at Sonya's, obviously feeling that he did not need an invitation. I turned watching his back in shock as he entered.

"You should shut the door, Miss Sage," he said before he sat down on the couch. His eyes fell to the pillow that was lying on the floor. Adrian bent over picking it and the blanket up.

Adrian tried for the manners that I had forgotten. "May I get you anything?" he asked as he walked off towards his room tossing the pillow and blanket in. I hoped the paint on the plastic was not still wet, since we had left it all down last night. Mr. Juarez did not answer him, which seemed like his typical response towards vampires.

Turning towards me he said, "What exactly happened here last night?"

I grew angrier. How dare he ask me something like that? Who did he think he was?

"Why don't you tell me? You seem to be the one who always knows where I am and what I am doing," I replied furiously.

Mr. Juarez stood suddenly, rigid with anger. "Why don't you take a warning when you are given one?" His words were clipped.

I noticed Adrian coming towards me tensely, but I met his eyes with a look that stopped him. I turned that look on Mr. Juarez. "I am doing everything that I am supposed to and nothing that crosses any lines. If you have a problem with what you have seen, then report me to the Alchemists," I said icily.

"I don't think you would really want me to do that," he said flatly.

"There is nothing to tell," I said a little calmer.

"Nothing," Mr. Juarez said as he glanced from me back to where Adrian stood watching our exchange ready to jump in if I needed him to. "Miss Sage, I told you before that your actions have not gone unnoticed. Lucky for you, your time here together is almost up."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Well, if you had been answering your cell phone, you would know that Ms. Stanton has gotten the approval for the vaccine. Once the formula has been tested and approved, there will be no need for any further research and no need for the vampires continued presence." I was speechless. "You really should head back to Amberwood," Mr. Juarez added. "Your brother's illness seems to have passed." After casting a contemptuous look towards Adrian, Mr. Juarez left.

**It has been awhile since I have tried to delve into these characters, so I hope that they were not to OOC. Please R & R. Thanks! :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews and PMs. It was nice to know I was missed. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_You really should head back to Amberwood," Mr. Juarez added. "Your brother's illness seems to have passed." After casting a contemptuous look towards Adrian, Mr. Juarez left._

Chapter 25

"Sage?" Adrian asked tentatively as I started franticly rummaging around for my cell phone. How could I have missed that call? When I found it, I realized that I had it on silent. I started scrolling through the missed calls. There was only one and it was from Stanton.

"Are you okay?" Adrian asked seeming more uncertain regarding my frazzled state. He hesitantly moved closer, but not too close. I still did not answer him.

I noticed the voicemail and shakily put the phone to my ear. "Sydney," Stanton's authoritative voice rang through the phone. "I will be stopping by Ms. Karp's apartment tomorrow at 2 pm."

That was all that the message said. No request to return her call, nor did she request that I stop by Sonya's. It was all implied. You never missed a call from a fellow Alchemist without good reason and I knew that I would need to come up with one fast.

"Sage?" This time Adrian was right in front of me. He placed his hand on my arm and I could here the concern laced in his voice.

I looked at my phone again. It was twelve o'clock. I had just enough time to head back to Amberwood, throw on something more professional, and get to Sonya's.

I looked up at Adrian finally. "I have to go." I turned and hurriedly headed for the door.

Adrian came up behind me. "Wait Sage. What's going on? What was Trey's dad talking about?"

"Adrian, I have to go. I don't know the details," I said as I turned back to look at him. I could see the worried look in his eyes. It mirrored how I would look at him when I thought spirit might be touching his emotions too much. I took a slow steadying breath realizing that I needed to pull myself together.

"Listen, there will be a meeting at Sonya's at 2 pm," I said calmly. "I won't have time to pick you up for it." I raised my hand stopping him before he could ask. "I can't take you with me. I know you can make it to Sonya's by bus. That is how you always get there. Just be there," I said looking into his eyes and realizing just how much I needed his support. "Please." I didn't wait for his answer. I just turned and left.

As I sped back to Amberwood, I began to formulate a story. I knew I needed to return Stanton's phone call and I knew I would need a good excuse. The only problem was, if she decided to check on my excuse. I didn't think Mr. Juarez would say anything about where I was, but Mrs. Weathers might tell someone that I was with my ill brother if the right person asked her. I decided that I would just have to take the risk that Stanton would just believe whatever I said.

Once I had resigned myself to the lie I would tell, I dialed Stanton. She had called around 11 pm the previous night and I was kicking myself for not noticing the missed call when I had called Mrs. Weathers.

Stanton answered with a clipped, "Yes."

"I'm sorry I missed your call," I started, trying to sound very apologetic.

"I'm sure you have a good reason," she said, but not in a polite way. It was more the way you would say 'you better have a good reason'.

"Well," I tried for meekness. "I'm not sure how you will feel about it. I was working on creating that vaccine."

"What," Stanton said sharply.

I continued my lie remembering how I had used my ambition before as an excuse with the Alchemists. I hated making myself sound so shallow as if promotions and climbing the ranks were all I cared about, but I knew that this was how many Alchemists thought.

"I know it wasn't my assignment. I just thought that if I could come up with the vaccine, then I could get the credit." I hoped that my voice sounded like someone driven by a need to please and earn advancement.

Stanton remained silent. I wasn't sure if she believed me. She had been one of the Alchemists who had doubted my ambition with the whole Rose fiasco.

I thought throwing a little honesty into the mix might help my story, so I added, "I know that not all of the Alchemists have accepted that my loyalties are still with them. I just thought that this might be a way to show that."

"Sydney," she said, her voice seeming more kind. "I know you are trying really hard to prove yourself, but continuing to go out on your own does not accomplish what you are trying to do."

"I know. I'm sorry," I said hoping that I sounded sincere.

"Never mind," Stanton responded, back to her usual authoritative tone. "2 pm," and then she disconnected.

Classes were still going on when I arrived at Amberwood, so I did not need to worry about running into Jill or Eddie. When I passed Mrs. Weathers, I explained that I needed to take my brother to a doctor's appointment and I was just stopping in to change. She accepted my lie without question assuring me that she had already contacted all of my teachers to let them know that my absence was excused.

Back in Latte, I continued to pull myself together as I went over to Sonya's. I was fairly sure that Stanton had believed me. As long as Mr. Juarez remained silent, I would not have to worry about the Alchemists looking into my relationship with Adrian.

I arrived at Sonya's with ten minutes to spare. When I knocked, Adrian answered the door. "You made it," I said to him with relief.

"Of course," he smiled. "How could I not when you practically begged me." I knew he was trying to lighten the mood, so I returned his smile.

As he shut the door behind me I said, "Begged is a pretty strong word. I merely suggested that you come." I heard him chuckle lightly. "Whatever you say, Sage," he said and squeezed my hand as he walked past me.

Mikhail and Sonya were in the kitchen talking quietly, but came out to join us in the living room when I arrived. "So, do you know what we owe this last minute meeting to, Sydney?" Sonya asked.

"I don't know the specifics, but I think it has something to do with the vaccine we had discussed," I replied to her.

"What vaccine are you talking about?" Adrian asked. When I turned to him, I could see the confusion on his face. I hadn't spoken with him about Sonya's idea for a vaccine, but I had assumed that Sonya would have mentioned it to him.

"It was just a thought I had," Sonya started to explain. "I thought that maybe the other chemicals that go into Sydney's tattoo might be what makes her blood undesirable. I figured that if the Alchemists would be willing to create a formula using those chemicals, we could then vaccinate other dhampirs and Moroi. The more of our kind that there are with undesirable blood, the less Strigoi there might be."

I watched Adrian process Sonya's theory. "May I speak with you for a moment?" he asked turning to me. I followed him into the kitchen. "So is that what Trey's dad was talking about?" he asked questioningly.

"Yes. I thought that Sonya would have told you about her theory," I said. "You and I weren't exactly speaking when she had told me," I added softly.

He took my hand and squeezed it lightly again. "I'm not upset that you didn't tell me," he said. "I just didn't understand what was going on. This is big. If the vaccine works, then the Alchemists really will not have any reason to continue our research. We really could be done here."

I watched his eyes as he came to the realization that we might not have a reason to be near each other anymore. I knew the sadness that I saw in him all too well, considering it was the same sadness I felt. Once the spirit research ended, the Alchemists would push to send all of them back to Court. Especially since the law regarding the need for relatives had been removed.

I heard a knock at the door to Sonya's apartment and glanced over at the clock seeing it was now 2 pm. "Showtime, huh?" I said trying for a smile, mimicking what Adrian had said to me the day Abe arrived with the research party. Adrian simply nodded in response and followed me to the living room.

Mikhail answered the door and invited Stanton in. It was a relief to see that she was alone. "Ms. Karp, I have come to tell you the good news," Stanton said politely to Sonya. "Your vaccine suggestion has been approved and we are in the final stages of testing."

"That is wonderful," beamed Sonya. "Is there anything I may do to help facilitate this process?" she asked excitedly. I knew that, for Sonya, this was an exciting step towards fighting Strigoi, but for me this felt like the end of my world. I had become entirely too attached to all of them and I wasn't sure how I was going to adjust to life without them. Life without Adrian.

"At this point, we are requesting volunteer dhampirs to vaccinate," Stanton said professionally. "If you could relay this request to your superiors, I would appreciate it." I could see how difficult it was for Stanton to have to ask for something from vampires, but I knew she could justify it to herself by saying that she was really helping them more than they were helping her.

"I will relay the request immediately," Sonya replied.

"Good," Stanton said with relief. "I estimate that by the end of the holidays the vaccine will be complete and ready to administer to the vampire community. Then you all will be free to go back to your homes." I caught the look on Adrian's face as Stanton spoke. "I trust that you have been keeping your superiors apprised of your progress, so that they will be able to make sure to have any necessary arrangements ready for your departure once the time comes," Stanton added smugly.

As I watched Sonya, I realized that she was studying Stanton's aura as she spoke. I'm sure she could see the relief and triumph in it from being able to tell the vampires to leave. I did not know Sonya well, but I'm sure her next comment was just to spite Stanton.

"I certainly have been keeping in touch with my colleagues at the Royal Court, especially Abe Mazur," Sonya said with a smile as Stanton cringed at the sound of his name. Then Sonya added, "I can not wait to let Mr. Mazur know just how accommodating you have been."

Stanton cut her eyes towards me and I knew that that was my cue to show an Alchemist united front, so I moved to stand beside her. With renewed confidence Stanton said, "Once you have acquired the necessary volunteers, let Sydney know. She will be able to coordinate the meeting." Then Stanton turned to me, "Would you please see me out?" I nodded and followed her to the elevator.

Before she got on, she turned to me. "Mr. Mazur has informed the Alchemists that they plan to send the princess on a vacation for the holidays to some ski resort. As part of your duties to protect the princess, you will have to attend this vacation. I have made arrangements for Ian to come in your place to watch over Palm Springs in your absence."

"Oh, I wasn't aware of any trip. Does the princess know?" I asked stunned.

"I do not believe so. I think it is supposed to be a surprise. Regardless to say, it is a big inconvenience and not at all what you are here for, but Mr. Mazur has a way with certain authorities," Stanton said with a sneer. "Someone from the Royal Court will be in touch with you regarding the trip," she added as she entered the elevator.

Once the doors closed, I turned back towards Sonya's apartment. Adrian was waiting for me at the door. "What did she have to say?" he asked as he studied the baffled expression on my face.

I didn't have time to answer him because my cell phone rang. I answered it without looking at the caller id. "Hello?"

"How is my favorite Alchemist?" the voice on the other end said.

"Rose?" I asked glancing up at Adrian as I said it. His expression was unreadable at the mention of her name.

"The one and only. I needed to speak with you about the upcoming holidays," she said.

"Holidays?" I'm sure I sounded like an idiot, but I had a lot on my mind.

"Yes, holidays. You know, Christmas," Rose said. "Lissa wanted to do something special for Jill for Christmas and since it didn't seem like Jill really wanted to be at Court Lissa thought it would be nice to send Jill on a fancy vacation. There is this ski resort that is really secluded and secure. It is the one the Academy students were sent to after the first Strigoi attacks." Rose's voice sounded haunted when she said this last part.

She paused briefly as if to get back on track. "Anyway, the old man got the Alchemists on board with letting you all get away for the weekend. You'll be leaving tomorrow after your classes are finished."

"Okay." I looked up and noticed that Adrian was gone. "Is there anything that I should know regarding the plans to prepare?" I asked still unsure of this whole trip.

"Just plan to have fun Sydney. Think of this as a vacation from the Alchemists for you. The resort is well guarded, so there won't be any reason for you guys not to let yourselves relax for a little while. All of you will be going, including Sonya, Mikhail, and Adrian." I felt a flutter in my chest at the mention of his name.

"Is there any concern over Jill being recognized?" I asked trying to keep my mind on the planning part.

"No. I mean, I'm sure she will be recognized as the princess. It is a Moroi resort," she said. "It's just that we, the guardians I mean, are certain that we have disbanded all of the vigilante Moroi groups, so there shouldn't be any danger in her being recognized."

"Okay," I said again.

"Oh yeah. One other thing," Rose added. "When I mean it is a Moroi resort, I mean that you will be on Moroi time. A limo will pick you guys up at 4 pm at Amberwood and then swing by Sonya's to pick up everyone else before heading out to the airport. A private jet will take you to the resort. Very posh, huh?" she said excitedly.

"Sounds it," I said still unsure.

Before Rose got off the phone she said, "Sydney, please try to have fun. I know it's not normally like you and I get that you will be surrounded by evil creatures of the night and all, but this vacation is as much for you as it is for everyone else. Think of it as my way of trying to make up for all of the wounds that I inflicted."

I stood in the hall for a moment just staring at the phone after she was gone. Looking up, I saw that Adrian had reappeared. "So, what did Rose want?" he asked. I could see the forced smile on his face.

"Well, apparently we are all going on a ski trip," I said. The shocked look on his face I'm sure mirrored mine. I walked with him back into the apartment to tell Sonya and Mikhail the news.

Once I squared away the trip details with Sonya and Mikhail, I told her that I really needed to be getting back to Amberwood to tie up any loose ends before we left. I offered Adrian a ride home, which he of course accepted and we left.

Down at my car, there was a surprise waiting for us. "I see that you are still not taking my warnings seriously," Mr. Juarez said from where he stood next to Latte.

I sighed. I had too many other things on my mind, from the upcoming trip to the end of the spirit research, to put up much of a fight. "I am taking your warning seriously," I said exhausted from this line of conversation. "I just came from a meeting with Ms. Stanton and now I am dropping Mr. Ivashkov off at his place so that he can prepare to leave."

Mr. Juarez eyed me cautiously as I said this. "Really? As in leave for good?" he said.

"Really. As in leaving for a trip, but I'm sure you already knew that," I said.

"Well, at least you are learning that you shouldn't try to hide what you can't from me," he said pointedly.

"Might I have a moment alone with Miss Sage?" Mr. Juarez said to Adrian. It was probably the first civil statement I had heard come from his mouth towards a vampire. Adrian just nodded and stepped back towards the apartment building.

Mr. Juarez moved closer to me and said in a hushed tone, "You may not like my presence here, but it is for your own good." I saw a glint of what looked like concern in his eyes.

"I will be unable to attend your little trip with you due to my ties to this particular Alchemist location." His comment reminded me of how he was not only working for the Alchemists.

"Just be mindful of what I have told you. Others can see how you act around them and they are taking notice." Again, he spoke with more civility than I had heard him use before.

I couldn't help myself when I asked, "Why do you care?"

The look on his face grew distant. "You have no idea who I am, do you?" he asked.

"You're Trey's father," I said wryly.

I could tell he did not like the tone I took. "I'm not talking about who I am personally. Let me put it this way. I know that you know what I am. Why do you think Alchemists would need my kind to keep an eye on another Alchemist with a questionable past?"

What I saw in his eyes this time was something that young Alchemists' nightmares were made of. A look of horror crossed my face.

"Good. I'm glad you are starting to understand the importance of your behavior," Mr. Juarez said. "The reasons for why I am warning you are unimportant, just take heed of my warning." He turned and walked off to his car.

Adrian walked up behind me. "Do you want to talk about whatever that was?" he asked.

"Not here," I said as I got into Latte. Adrian came around to the passenger side and got in. I felt him watching me like he often did when he studied my aura.

"Whatever he had to say, it was definitely bad," Adrian said once we were on the road.

"You can tell all that by looking at me," I said trying not to think about Mr. Juarez and who he was.

"Well, I can tell that you're scared," he said softly, "and I've only seen you this scared one other time and that was when we were faced by two Strigoi."

I shuddered at the memory. "Do you want to talk about it now?" he asked again.

I was scared to give voice to my fears. I shook my head in reply.

"Sage," he said gently as he put a hand on my arm. I flinched at his touch, not meaning to. He pulled back and remained silent next to me.

When I pulled up in front of his place, he turned to me before he got out. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I met his eyes, but I was not so certain that it would really be okay. I simply nodded and he got out.

Back at Amberwood, I bottled up my fear and tracked down Jill, Eddie, and Angeline. They were getting ready to meet up with Micah in the library for another movie night.

"Hey Sydney. Where have you been all day?" Jill asked. "You weren't in class and when I asked Mrs. Weathers if she knew where you were, I thought she was going to start crying."

The thought of Mrs. Weathers attempting to cover for me almost brought a smile to my face. "I was with Adrian." I noticed the look that Eddie gave me. "We were working on spirit stuff," I said before he had a chance to wonder what had happened.

"I also heard from Rose." This also got Eddie's attention, but for a totally different reason.

"Is everything okay back at Court?" he asked.

"Everything's fine," I said. I turned to Jill, "Actually your sister thought it would be a nice treat to send you on a very fancy vacation for the holidays." Jill's eyes lit up.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes and we all get to go," I said looking over at Eddie and Angeline. Jill squealed with delight.

"Where are we going?" she asked as she bounced with excitement.

"I actually don't know the exact location, but is some ski resort." When I looked at Eddie, I couldn't place his expression. "It is supposed to be very secure, so there won't be any risks to Jill," I said to him, but his expression didn't change.

"I'm sure there won't be," he said. When he met my eyes, they almost looked haunted.

Jill pulled my attention away from him. "When do we leave?" she asked.

"Um," I still wasn't sure what was going on with Eddie. "We leave tomorrow after school. A limo will be picking us up at 4 pm and then we will pick up Sonya, Mikhail, and Adrian."

"So you really did mean that we all were going to go?" Jill gushed.

"Yep," I said turning my attention back to her.

"This is so exciting," she said turning to Angeline. "We will have to start packing as soon as we get back to our room before we go to bed tonight." Angeline did not look nearly as excited, but I had a feeling once she got there her feelings would change.

Jill started walking with Angeline talking about everything they would need to take as they headed towards the library to meet Micah. Eddie stood still, staring off into the distance.

"Is everything okay?" I asked Eddie. I had thought he had originally been concerned for Jill's safety, but clearly, something else was bothering him.

He turned towards me and seemed to regain his focus. "It's just that, I've been to that resort before."

"Was it that bad?" I asked still not understanding his reaction. The haunted way he had looked when I mentioned it, reminded me of the haunted tone Rose's voice had taken when she told me about it.

"It's just that, well, it was the last place I was with Mason before we, um, ran off," he said. The pieces started falling into place. Adrian had told me that Strigoi had captured Rose and Eddie along with a few others. I just did not realize that it happened to be during the time that they were supposed to be at this ski resort. Now I understood Rose's reaction to our vacation spot.

"I wonder why Queen Vasilisa picked this resort to send Jill to, knowing what this place meant to you," I said a little baffled by the queen's insensitivity.

Eddie tried to hide his emotions with a half-hearted smile. "I'm sure it is because as far as vacation spots go for Moroi, it really is one of the safest. Listen, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. It's not as if anything bad actually happened to me at the resort itself. If anything I think you should be more concerned about Adrian." I wasn't sure I completely believed him that he would be fine, but his comment regarding Adrian caught me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, this resort is where Adrian first met Rose." I'm not sure what look crossed my face, but Eddie quickly added, "I didn't mean to worry you. I just know how he gets when he comes across old memories of her. I just wanted you to be prepared." I nodded and Eddie left me to go join the others for their movie.

I numbly went around the school catching up with all of my teachers to get the work that I had missed that day. Luckily, with Christmas coming up, our usual Friday volleyball game had been cancelled.

Back at the dorm, Mrs. Weathers offered her sympathy for my brother. I let her know that we would all be leaving on a trip for the holidays and used my brother's illness as the excuse for us to need to get away as a family.

Up in my room, I blindly packed my bags so that I would not have to worry about doing it later. Then, I settled in at my desk to complete all of my missed assignments. It was late by the time I finished and I was exhausted.

As I drifted off to sleep the fear that I had bottled up escaped. The nightmares that I had not had since coming to Amberwood resurfaced. The nightmares of re-education. The worst part about the nightmare now was that it finally had a face, Mr. Juarez.

**I wanted to send a shout-out to _kirary_. She kindly asked and I agreed to let her translate my story into Spanish. As of now, she has posted the first two chapters. The links to the chapters are _www(.)purplerose1(.)net(/)t11363p420-fans-adrian-ivashkov_ and _www(.)purplerose1(.)net(/)t11363p450-fans-adrian-ivashkov_ with no parentheses. You will need to create an account there first to read them if you are interested. I'm sure if you PM _kirary_ she would be glad to give you any info on when other chapters have been translated and posted. **


	26. Chapter 26

**AN: As I seem to be saying a lot here lately, I'm sorry for the late update. I will try to update my story as often as possible, but unfortunately, right now I cannot make any promises. I appreciate all of the reviews and new story alerts that I have received. And as always, I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_The nightmares that I had not had since coming to Amberwood resurfaced. The nightmares of re-education. The worst part about the nightmare now was that it finally had a face, Mr. Juarez._

Chapter 26

When my alarm went off to wake me up for the day, I felt as if I had not slept at all. Several times throughout the night I had woken up covered in sweat sure that Mr. Juarez had shown up to haul me off to re-education.

By the end of my classes, I just wanted to go crawl back into bed, but I knew it wasn't an option. I met up with Jill and Angeline, so that we could get our bags and be waiting with Eddie in the parking lot for the limo.

The limo arrived promptly at 4 pm and the four of us piled in and then went to pick up the others. When we pulled up to Sonya's apartment building, they were waiting in the parking lot for us.

Once back on the road, I looked around at the others sitting in the back with me. Eddie, Jill, and Angeline were sitting together talking about the ski resort. Eddie seemed to have moved on from the depressed state he had been in the other day at hearing where we were going. I'm sure that had everything to do with being able to spend time with Jill. Jill animatedly discussed all the exciting things they could do together and Angeline seemed to have caught on to the excitement as well.

Sonya and Mikhail sat together. Mikhail had his arm around Sonya and she contentedly was leaning into his embrace while watching Eddie, Jill, and Angeline. As I watched them together, I could see how much they loved each other. Sonya looked over to me, realizing that I had been watching them and I just smiled. It was nice to see everyone so happy.

Of course, then I glanced over at Adrian and realized that not everyone was happy. He had not spoken since we picked them up and he now sat next to me silently staring out the window.

The limo pulled up to a private airstrip and the excitement coming from Jill seemed to buzz around everyone. As we boarded the jet, I was in awe. It was not the first time I had ridden in a private jet, but this one was almost unbelievable. The cushy leather seats were placed around the jet to allow people to sit across from each other or just sit by the windows.

Jill went for a window seat immediately, dragging Angeline behind her. I could see the wonder in Angeline's eyes as well. I doubted that she had been in many private jets in her life. Eddie followed sitting beside Jill. Sonya and Mikhail headed over to the other side and sat by a window.

I immediately became aware of Adrian at my side. "Would you like a window seat?" he asked, but it seemed forced, as if he felt the need to attempt to make conversation.

As I glanced over at him, I noticed that he wasn't really looking at me as he spoke. "No, I think I will just sit in the back," I replied and headed towards the seats farthest away from everyone. Adrian followed, but did not say anything else to me.

When the flight took off, a stewardess came around and offered us drinks. I noticed Adrian reach to take one, but then change his mind as he glanced over at Jill. She offered me one as well, which I declined, but I did request a blanket and pillow.

With the sleepless night that I just had and the fact that Adrian seemed upset by the way we had left things yesterday, I decided that I might as well try to catch a nap. Besides, we were going to be on Moroi time once we landed, which meant that the day would be well underway.

As I drifted off to sleep, I was vaguely aware of Adrian sitting beside me. It was mildly comforting to know, at least until the nightmares started. Mr. Juarez seemed to be around every corner, waiting to haul me off to re-education. And not just him, but many faceless sorcerers were there as well. He had warned me that he was not the only one watching, but I never thought it would be so many others. I kept running, but I couldn't get away. I never got away in these dreams. They always caught me, dragging me towards my fears, dragging me towards re-education.

I woke with a start, eyes darting around me. As my vision cleared, I realized I was still on the jet. I noticed that the others had decided to take a nap as well and no one seemed to notice my abrupt waking, no one except for Adrian.

His eyes were filled with concern as he watched me. I hastily wiped at my forehead with the back of my hand as I tried to calm my breathing. I could feel the sweat that glistened there.

"Sage?" Adrian asked hesitantly.

I settled back into my seat and turned from him. "I'm fine," I said but I knew I wasn't. At this rate, I would never be able to sleep again if I could not find a way to stop the nightmares. As I closed my eyes again, I felt Adrian pull my blanket up and tuck me in.

The next time I woke, it was because the jet was touching down. My sleep had been dreamless this time and when I looked down, I noticed that Adrian had entwined his hand with mine. I looked over at him and he had that same concerned look on his face as he watched me. I had a feeling he had not slept at all during our flight.

"Did you sleep better?" he asked. Using the excuse of stretching, I removed my hand from his and replied, "Yes."

Everyone seemed wide-awake and Jill was excitedly talking again. Looking out the window I noticed it was now night, which would be the middle of the day for the Moroi. I did not see how all of them could so easily adapt to being awake at night, but they were vampires after all, so I guess this was natural for them.

I took in the resort as we pulled up to it. It was gorgeous. The design of the building was amazing. It was a log cabin made of golden-colored wood and tall arched windows. Its three stories were set in the middle of an expansive lot of pines and mountains.

Someone came out and retrieved our bags. Sonya and Mikhail headed inside together to check us in. Eddie escorted Jill and Angeline inside as well. I don't know if it was the sudden feeling of stepping into a fairy tale or what, but Adrian turned to me as if there had been no tension between us and offered me his arm.

I absently took it still looking around in awe as he escorted me up the steps and into the gorgeous receiving area. The inside of the resort was even more amazing than the outside. Crystal lanterns and intricately carved log furniture gave the feel of a romantic resort getaway. Glancing over, I noticed Adrian once again watching me, but not with concern. This time his eyes seemed to be bright and filled with adoration as he watched me take in the room.

"This place is breathtaking," I said still awestruck.

Adrian leaned in closer to me. "You are breathtaking," he said in a low voice only meant for me to hear. When I looked back into his eyes, I could see every perfect moment that we had ever had together reflected in them. I looked away unable to breathe.

Sonya and Mikhail came over to us with room keys in hand. Sonya seemed to be assessing our auras as she approached, but just smiled at whatever she saw. At that moment, I wished I knew how to turn off my aura.

"Here are your keys," she said handing one to each of us. "Jill and Angeline will be sharing a room. Mikhail and I will be on one side of their room. You and Eddie will be on the other side," Sonya said to Adrian. "And you will be in the room next to them," she said to me.

Eddie, Jill, and Angeline had come to join us as Sonya spoke. Eddie seemed annoyed by the sleeping arrangements. "Why aren't I staying with Jill? I am her guardian," he protested.

At the same time, Adrian spoke up, "Why isn't anyone staying with Sage?"

Sonya took their complaints in stride as she responded. "For starters, I am not going to allow an underage young lady to stay in the same room as an older gentleman," she said to Eddie. I could see the argument rising in Eddie as she said this, but she simply lifted her hand to stop him. "I understand that you are her guardian, but so is Angeline. She is very capable of taking care of Jill while we stay in this well secured resort. As for why you are staying with Adrian, I should think that that is clear. He is also a royal and while at a place like this in the public eye, he too needs a guardian."

Adrian seemed to scoff at this. "I haven't had a babysitter since I was a teenager," Adrian huffed.

"I didn't say babysitter. I said guardian and it is only appropriate that you be assigned one when you are in the Moroi public eye," Sonya replied calmly. "Besides, it is not as if Eddie will need to trail you throughout your stay. Remember, I did say this was a well secured resort."

"Okay. Fine, but why is Sage staying alone. Shouldn't she be assigned someone?" Adrian said as he looked over at me. I remembered that I was still holding on to his arm, so I slipped from his grasp.

Answering for Sonya, I said, "Actually, as an Alchemist, I rank non-existent as far as Moroi are concerned. There is no need for me to have a guardian." I looked over at Sonya and she nodded. Looking back at Adrian I said, "Besides the Alchemists would question my motives if I stayed with a vampire when there was no need to."

I could see that the good mood that we had shared moments ago was now gone. He looked as if he wanted to argue, but noticing everyone watching he decided against it.

"Let's go check out our rooms," Jill said trying to lighten the mood that had definitely grown cold between us.

"Yes, lets," Sonya agreed, taking Mikhail's arm and ushering us towards the stairs. Adrian turned away from me and followed everyone up. I hung back from everyone as we went up taking in the view around us and trying to forget the look in Adrian's eyes.

We were staying on the top floor in accommodations definitely fit for a princess. As everyone went to check out their rooms, I went to mine alone. I knew staying by myself was important to keep up appearances, especially since Mr. Juarez had warned me that he was not the only one watching me, but I could not help but feel depressed as I took in the spacious room.

The room was gorgeous, just like every other part of the resort that I had seen. A huge plush king-size bed covered in pillows, a Plasma TV hanging on the wall, a leather couch placed for a sitting area, and a mini-fridge made up several of the obvious luxuries. I trudged across the plush carpet and flopped back onto the bed, kicking off my shoes.

As I laid there, I replayed the way Adrian had said I was breathtaking over and over again in my head. I drifted off to sleep and was placed back in a nightmare. There I was holding Adrian's arm as the faceless sorcerers descended on me ripping me away from him. Mr. Juarez stood somewhere in the distance condescendingly saying, "I told you they were watching."

I jolted awake to the sound of banging on my door. I stumbled to the door in a daze and opened it. Adrian stood in front of me looking worried. Wiping the back of my hand across my forehead to remove the sheen of sweat that I knew was there I asked, "What's wrong?"

"You tell me," he said as he entered my room, shutting the door behind him. I wandered over to the couch, well aware of my shallow breathing and trembling hands, but I tried to look at Adrian as if nothing was wrong.

He walked over to the mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. Crossing the room back to me, he sat down. "Here, drink this," he said passing me the bottle.

After several swallows, I was finally able to hold the bottle without shaking. "What did you want?" I asked trying desperately to seem okay.

"I was coming to see if you wanted to wander around the resort with me, but when I knocked on your door I heard you talking loudly. You seemed upset and I was worried about you," he said studying me. "Were you asleep?"

"Yeah," I said looking towards the bed. "I must have dozed off. The bed is really comfortable." Looking back at him, I tried for a smile.

"But not comfortable enough to keep your nightmares away," he said still studying me. My smile fell. "I know that you are scared about something. Your aura hasn't changed since the other day. Why won't you tell me what is bothering you?"

I looked away again. "What did Trey's dad say to you the other day? Why are you so scared? Why won't you talk to me?" I could hear the desperation and frustration in Adrian's voice.

How could I answer him? How could I tell him that the Alchemists were waiting for me to slip up and give them an excuse to haul me off to re-education? How could I tell him that every moment I spent with him was one-step closer to re-education? He would just want to protect me and he couldn't. There was nothing he could do.

I looked back at him and I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes. Adrian put an arm around me and pulled me towards him. I curled up next to him placing my head on his chest and desperately tried not to cry.

I'm not exactly sure when I drifted off again, but when I woke I was still curled up next to Adrian. He had the television on and was watching some old black and white movie. I lifted my head looking up at him and noticed his weary appearance.

Looking down at me, he tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "Did you get some rest?" he asked full of concern. He seemed to have let our earlier discussion go.

"Yes," I replied timidly turning towards the television and placing my head against his shoulder. "Do you still want to go exploring the resort?" I asked.

"Well, actually it is nearing bedtime," he said as he gestured towards the French doors that opened on to the balcony. I glanced over seeing that the sun was rising. The glass was tinted, but you could still make out the subtle brightness.

"Oh," I said realizing that I had wasted our first day at the resort sleeping in my room. "You should have woken me."

"No, you needed your rest. I don't think you have been getting much of it," he said still holding me.

"So do you," I said taking in his tired features again. "You really should head back to your room. Besides, I'm sure Eddie will be looking for you."

Adrian smiled slightly. "I'm sure Eddie is more preoccupied with looking at Jill than looking for me," he said with a chuckle.

I couldn't help but smile to that too. "Seriously though, you really should go get some rest." As I said this, his smile faded. "I'll be fine," I said. "I'm just going to take a shower and then head to bed as well."

I could tell he was torn. He may have let our earlier discussion go, but I do not think he was ready to let me go. Not after he had seen the way my nightmares had affected me. "I could stay if you want," he said casually. "I'll sleep on the couch."

God how I wanted to say yes, but I knew that he wouldn't rest if he stayed, being to busy watching over me. Besides, how would that look if he stayed? What if someone was watching my room right now? What if someone had seen him go in hours ago and never saw him leave?

"No, Adrian. I will be fine," I said firmly as I stood. He followed suit. "I'll see you in the morning or night or whatever. This Moroi time is so confusing," I said shaking my head as I walked him to the door.

"I'm sure you will get used to it," he said smiling at me again. "If you do need me, you can always text me. I'm right next door and I can be over here in no time."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said smiling back at him as I shooed him out the door.

After my shower, the tension in my body had seemed to subside. I pulled the heavy drapes across the windows to block out the little bit of light that filters in through the tinting and climbed into bed. It was even more comfortable once under the fluffy down comforter surrounded by all the pillows.

Thinking of Adrian and his offer to be there if I needed him, I had taken my cell phone to bed with me. As I lied there trying to fall asleep, I heard it vibrate on the pillow next to me. The text was from Adrian: SWEET DREAMS.

As I drifted off to sleep, it was almost as if he was beside me. For the first time in what had seemed like a long time, my sleep was not dreamless nor was it filled with nightmares. It was simply filled with sweet dreams of Adrian.

**Sorry that the chapter is kind of a filler. I was having trouble with getting them to the ski resort. Please R & R. Thanks! :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**AN: This chapter is a little longer than normal, but I was having trouble finding a stopping place. I hope you enjoy it. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_As I drifted off to sleep, it was almost as if he was beside me. For the first time in what had seemed like a long time, my sleep was not dreamless nor was it filled with nightmares. It was simply filled with sweet dreams of Adrian._

Chapter 27

Waking to darkness felt unusual, but after all of the lying around that I had done the day before I was ready to be awake. Rolling out of bed, I went to the windows and pulled the drapes back. The sun was just setting.

Grabbing my robe, I stepped out onto the balcony of my room. The view was gorgeous as the sun cast a dimming glow over the horizon. Soon the moon and stars would be glowing in the sky.

I breathed in the fresh forest air and felt a calm wash over me. My prior night's dreams of Adrian had left me with a peaceful feeling and now being surrounded by the beautiful outdoors, I felt as if I had nothing to fear.

When Rose had told me about the ski trip, she had wanted me to treat it as a vacation away from the Alchemists. I started to feel like just maybe I could. I know Mr. Juarez had said that they were always watching, but really how could they be. This was a Moroi resort. The only humans here besides me, were feeders. Everyone else were Dhampirs or Moroi.

With this new realization in my head, I decided to put my fears behind me in an attempt to enjoy this short reprieve from the Alchemists. Flipping through the clothes in my suitcase, I tried to find the most casual clothes that I owned. The best I could do was a green sweater and dark blue jeans. Looking at the sweater now, it reminded me of Adrian's eyes. I wondered if I had been thinking about that when I packed it. Smiling, I headed to my bathroom to grab another shower.

Now that I had time to really enjoy it, the shower felt amazing. The one I had taken the other night was more to wash away the nightmares and sweat. As I relaxed in the shower, I was able to enjoy the luxuries that it offered, like a massaging showerhead and the body sprays placed along the tile walls.

Once dressed, I headed over to Jill's figuring that she would be the one most likely awake. Eddie answered the door when I knocked. "Did I get the rooms mixed up?" I asked tentatively.

Eddie stepped back letting me enter the room. "No, I was just waiting for Jill to get ready," he said with a smile. "I couldn't take listening to Adrian snore any longer."

Angeline was sitting on the couch watching television and Eddie went to sit back down with her. "So, Adrian is still asleep?" I asked casually.

"Yeah, he got in pretty late. The sun was already starting to come up," Eddie said watching for my reaction. I just stood there casually returning his gaze. I'm sure he could have guessed where Adrian was, but was polite enough not to bring it up in front of Angeline.

"There you are," said Jill as she came out of her bathroom. She was dressed casually in a striped sweater and jeans with her hair pulled up in a ponytail. Even in casual attire, Jill still managed to look as perfect as a runway model. "We missed you yesterday," she continued.

"I had a little trouble adjusting to the time change, but I'm feeling better today," I said. "So, what did you guys do yesterday?"

"Not much really," Jill replied. "We mainly walked around and checked out the resort. You should see all the stuff that there is to do here besides skiing." I just smiled at her enthusiasm. "We were getting ready to go meet Sonya and Mikhail for breakfast. Do you want to join us?" she asked.

"Sure," I said as we started heading out into the hallway. "Shouldn't someone wake up Adrian?" I asked Eddie.

"Sure. You can," he said tossing me his room key with a smile. "I'm not waking him up. I've heard about how cranky he can be."

"Uh," I stuttered looking down at the key in my hands, "Okay." Looking back up at them, Eddie was already leading Jill and Angeline towards the stairs. He looked back over his shoulder and I could have sworn he winked at me.

My gaze dropped back down to the key in my hand as I turned towards the door to Adrian's room. I decided to knock first, hoping he was already awake. After several minutes, I knocked again thinking that maybe I hadn't knocked loud enough the first time.

There was still no answer. I knew that it would look awkward if I went down to breakfast without him, when they knew I was supposed to wake him up. I could always lie and say that Adrian decided to skip breakfast, but then I would have to deal with the possibility of one of them saying something to him.

Sighing, I put the key in the door. There was no reason why I couldn't do this, I told myself. It was not as if I had to actually get near him to wake him up. I could just simply walk in the door and yell for him.

As I stepped in and shut the door behind me, I realized just how dark it was with the curtains drawn at night. The only light coming in the room was a faint glow from the bathroom. The light had been left on, but the door was barely open. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dark. I could hear a soft snoring sound coming from the far wall.

"Adrian," I said nervously. I wasn't sure if Eddie had been kidding about Adrian being cranky when he was woken up and decided that yelling probably wouldn't be a good idea.

Once my eyes were adjusted to the dark, I could make out shapes in the room. It seemed to be laid out similar to my room, just with two beds on opposite walls instead of one in the middle. I slowly made my way over to the bed that I could hear the breathing coming from.

Stopping by the side of the bed, I could make out Adrian's body sprawled across it. His chest was exposed showing off his toned muscles. The sheets were draped over his lower half except for where a bare leg was peeking out. That was when I realized that this might not have been a good idea to get this close to him. What if he was not wearing any clothes underneath?

As I stood there studying him, he stirred and started to roll so that the sheets were slipping off him. Closing my eyes tightly, I turned away from the bed. "Adrian," I said a little louder than I had when I had been at the door.

"Hmm, Sage," he mumbled. I didn't want to turn around and see if he was talking in his sleep or waking up, so I said his name again a little louder.

This time, I heard the sheets rustle as if I had gotten his attention. "Sage…huh…what are you doing here?" he said groggily. "And why am I looking at your back?"

"Um…well… Eddie told me to get you for breakfast," I stuttered. "And I wasn't sure that you were…um…dressed under there."

"Oh," he said and I could hear him moving in the bed behind me, probably sitting up. "Well, I'm not completely naked, but probably not clothed enough for your liking." Something told me that I might not have minded, but I bit off the words before I said them.

"Could you hand me my clothes from the chair?" he asked. With my back still turned to him, I reached over grabbing his sleep pants and t-shirt that were resting on the chair beside the bed. Then reaching back behind me, I handed them to him. I heard some more rustling and then Adrian said, "Okay, I'm decent. You can turn around now." He almost sounded amused when he said this.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed fully clothed when I turned towards him. His hair was tousled from sleep, but still looked amazing. His eyes seemed to shimmer in the slight light that was in the room. It took me a minute to realize that I was just staring at him and neither one of us had spoken. "So, do you want to come down to breakfast?" I asked coming out of my stupor.

Adrian got up from the bed and pulled back the drapes, letting the moonlight filter into the room through the tinted windows. As he turned back, I realized that I was staring at him again. He looked even better in the moonlight.

"Do I have time for a shower?" he asked smiling at me.

"Um, yeah," I replied meeting his eyes. The way the moonlight reflected on them was breathtaking. "I can just wait outside."

"Don't be ridiculous," he said gesturing towards the couch. "Go sit and watch television. I'll be ready in fifteen minutes." He walked past me towards the bathroom.

As he closed the door to the bathroom, I took a seat on the couch. Flipping the television on, it was already on a station with one of those black and white movies I always seemed to see Adrian watching. I watched as the handsome man wooed the leading lady and wondered what it would be like to have a carefree romance like that.

I'm not sure how much time passed exactly, when I heard the bathroom door open. Glancing over, my eyes widened. Adrian was walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and water droplets dripping off his hair onto his chest. I quickly looked away and felt my cheeks flush.

"Sorry, Sage. I forgot to grab something to wear," I heard Adrian say as clothes began to rustle in a suitcase.

"Um, that's okay," I said continuing to look away from him. The practical side of my mind was running through exactly how I managed to get myself into this situation. Not only was I alone in a vampire's bedroom, but I was alone with a vampire who was practically naked.

The other side of my mind, the less rational side, was just thinking about the fact that I was alone with a practically naked Adrian. This side of my mind was rapidly winning the mental battle as I kept replaying the image of him walking out of the bathroom in my head.

Adrian spoke again bringing me out of my thoughts. "Ready to go," he said. As I turned back to him, I took in his crisp burgundy button-down shirt and his black jeans that hugged him in all the right places. I felt my cheeks begin to heat again.

"Uh, yeah, sure," I said getting up and heading for the door. He got there first and gallantly opened the door for me. Offering me his arm, as he had the other day, we headed down to breakfast.

As we passed people heading towards the little café that was located in the resort, I noticed several stares. I started feeling very self-conscious. Trying not to look too obvious, I glanced down at myself to make sure that there wasn't anything wrong with the way I looked.

Peeking over at Adrian, I noticed a pensive look on his face. His jaw was tightly set. He glanced over at me and noticed me watching him. His expression changed to his usual lazy smile. "So, do you actually plan to eat something this morning?" he smirked.

Unable to ignore his earlier facial expression I dismissively said, "I'm sure I'll eat something. What is wrong?"

Continuing to keep his smile in place, he simply said, "Nothing," and then escorted me over to where everyone was seated for breakfast.

Breakfast was pleasant. I managed to avoid any further comments from Adrian regarding what I ate, but I was also unable to shake the feeling that there had been something wrong earlier.

Sonya and Mikhail excused themselves when they were finished. They had planned to spend the day together, but made sure that everyone agreed to meet for dinner in the restaurant located in the resort later that evening to celebrate. With all the other things on my mind, I had nearly forgotten that today was Christmas Eve.

This was something that had not slipped Jill's mind though. "We need to go shopping," Jill said to all of us. "They have some great little stores on one of the sub floors."

"Sub floors?" I asked.

Jill smiled brightly. "Yep, this resort not only goes up, but it also goes down a few floors into the ground. We found them yesterday when we were looking around."

"I thought we were going to go skiing," Angeline said a little put off by the thought of having to shop. I knew she was interested in the more active type of activities that the resort had to offer.

"We will," Jill said, "just as soon as we do a little shopping. I thought that maybe we could do something like a secret Santa. You know, put everyone's name in a bowl and draw whom we shop for. That way we don't have to spend a bunch of time buying presents for everyone, just one gift and everyone gets something." She seemed very pleased by her proposal.

I had never been part of a secret Santa before, but I knew the concept. Up until Sonya had mentioned it was Christmas Eve, I hadn't even thought about the holiday or how I was going to be spending another one away from my family. I did think it would be somewhat nice to be able to exchange presents with someone.

"I'm game," Adrian said. Everyone else nodded agreement. Jill asked the waiter for a pen and an empty bowl. Then she tore a napkin into five pieces and wrote our names on each one. Placing the pieces in the bowl, she then passed it around so we could all take one.

"Okay, now make sure you don't have your own name, because you don't get to buy yourself something. Also, you can't say who you have, because then it won't be a surprise," she said giddily.

I looked down at the folded piece of napkin that I had. When I unfolded it, I read the name written there. It was Angeline. Okay, well it shouldn't be too hard to shop for her. I could just get her anything sport related and she would be happy. I smiled to myself, relaxing. For a moment, I had been worried that I would get Adrian. I would not have known what to get him at all.

"Now, one more thing before we head to the stores, don't worry about the cost. This trip is on my sister and this was actually her suggestion. She told me just to charge it all to our rooms," Jill said happily.

"You spoke with Queen Vasilisa?" I asked a little surprised.

"Yes, she called my room yesterday to make sure that we made it okay and to wish me a Happy Holidays. It was really nice of her," Jill said. "It felt very sisterly." That made me smile. I knew that Jill was always concerned about being accepted, especially by the sister that she never knew she had.

Heading down the stairs to the sub floors, I noticed the stares again. They weren't as obvious this time, since we were in a group instead of just Adrian and me, but they were still there. I also noticed the way Adrian's expression had seemed to change again.

We only had to go down one floor to find the shops. The floor was set up similar to a mall, but not as modern looking. I saw the destination I needed immediately in the form of a sporting goods shop. Funny thing was that Angeline and Adrian seemed to head towards it as well. This made me think that one of them had Eddie, but I wasn't sure who else would like a gift from a store like this.

Jill and Eddie headed off in the opposite direction, but then went their separate ways. Jill went into a hobby type store and Eddie went into a clothing and accessories one.

Adrian and Angeline split off from me once inside, heading in different directions. I was glad for that, because I wasn't sure how I was supposed to pick a gift out with Angeline right there.

As I wandered down the aisles trying to come up with something to get her, I came across the perfect thing, a boxing set with a training dummy. I smiled as I eyed it. Now, she would have someone to train with all the time and it would never have to be me, I chuckled to myself. I went over to the counter and spoke with the salesman arranging for the boxing set to be gift wrapped and delivered to my room. I then went to wait for everyone out at one of the benches outside the shops.

As I sat there, I watched as others passed me. There were couples hand in hand wandering from shop to shop. Groups of Moroi teens giggled and pointed out different stuff that they wanted as they walked along. Deep down I knew that I was surrounded by vampires, but at that moment, it didn't seem to matter. It just felt normal.

Shortly after sitting down, Angeline came out of the store and joined me. "Everyone else still shopping?" she asked.

"Looks that way," I replied.

Eventually, Jill and Eddie made their way out of the shops to come sit with us on the bench. Adrian was the only one still missing. I kept looking down at the sporting goods shop wondering what was taking him so long. Finally, he emerged, but not from where I thought he had been. He came out of an expensive jewelry store a couple of doors down.

Once he reached us, Jill spoke before I could ask him what he was doing down there. "Did everyone bring something nice to wear tonight?" I looked over at her unsure of what she was talking about. "What do you me?" I asked.

She smiled mischievously, "Well, the restaurant that we are going to is a black tie restaurant. The guys will need tuxedos and we will need evening gowns."

"You have got to be kidding me," Angeline grumbled. "We have to do more shopping." I had to admit I was kind of with Angeline on this one. Where were we going to find evening gowns on such short notice? Besides, I wasn't exactly enthusiastic about wearing one around all of these Moroi with their perfect bodies.

"Oh come on," Jill said to Angeline. "This is the easy part. All we have to do is go into the store and the sales women will do the rest. Trust me." She grabbed a hold of Angeline's hand and mine and started pulling us towards a very fancy dress shop. "You guys go pick out your tuxedos and meet us back in the lobby," she called over her shoulder to Adrian and Eddie. As I glanced back, I could see Adrian smiling at our retreat.

The dress shopping wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It actually was just as easy as Jill said. The sales women descended on us the minute we walked through the door and did not leave us until we had gowns, shoes, and accessories that matched. Overall, it only took us thirty minutes. Once arrangements were made for our things to be delivered to our rooms, we headed up to the lobby to meet the guys.

"Can we go skiing now?" Angeline asked, once we were with Eddie and Adrian. "Sure," Jill replied cheerfully. This made Angeline finally smile. I knew that shopping had been the last thing she wanted to do, so I was happy to see her finally get to enjoy herself.

"So, are you going to give me a chance to kick your butt out on the slopes?" Eddie asked Adrian. Looking over at me, I think he could see how apprehensive I was about the whole skiing idea. I wasn't real crazy about racing down a hill at uncontrollable speeds only to run into a tree.

"No, I think I'll pass. Besides, we already know that I would be the one kicking your butt," Adrian said flippantly. "So, Sage you want to take that tour around the resort now," he said to me, offering his arm again. Relieved by the fact that I did not have to go skiing, I thankfully took it and smiled.

As we wandered around the resort, I took in all of the gorgeous architecture marveling at the cathedral ceilings on the upper floors and the intricately carved stone walls of the sub floors.

"So, what were you doing in the jewelry store?" I asked Adrian trying to sound casual.

"Oh," he said absently. "I was just helping Mikhail out. He asked if I could stop by and pick something up for Sonya."

"Well that was nice of you," I replied with a smile. I'm not sure what I had been hoping for when I asked him that. It was not as if I expected him to be getting me anything, right?

As we wound further down into the sub floors, we came to a spa area. It was huge and there were several pools with steam rising off them. "Wow," I said as I took it in. "I didn't realize I would need to pack my bathing suit for this trip."

Adrian glanced over at me with a smile. "Well, I'm sure we can find you one in one of the shops upstairs if you're interested." I couldn't help but gaze into his emerald eyes and think about how nice it might be to relax in one of those pools with him.

I was brought out of my thoughts as some guy came up to us. "Hey Ivashkov," he said extending his hand towards Adrian. "I haven't seen you in a long time. You here on vacation?"

Adrian took his hand and turned on the charm, "Of course. This is the only place to be this time of year." The smile Adrian gave him was too broad to be sincere, but the guy didn't seem to notice the insincerity of it. He seemed a little unsteady and then I noticed the waiters walking around with drinks.

"Well, you should stop by and hang out some time. I have my usual suite. See you later," the guy said and then staggered off.

"Friend of yours?" I asked as Adrian dropped the smile.

"Not really," he shrugged. "More like an acquaintance from another lifetime."

"Oh and this other lifetime wouldn't happen to be that spoiled rich party boy lifetime would it," I jokingly said to him.

"Now Sage, who says that that is not the lifetime that I am still living," he replied smoothly as we continued on our tour of the resort. I just shook my head.

We ended our tour sitting in a glass-enclosed balcony overlooking the ski slopes. A waitress had come by bringing us hot chocolates. As I settled into the loveseat with Adrian, he put his arm around my shoulders. It felt nice to sit like this in public without a care. I relaxed into his arm putting all thoughts of the Alchemists out of my head.

A Moroi couple walked by us, as we sat in silence enjoying the view of the slopes. I had that same sense of being stared at by them as they passed. I looked over at Adrian and noticed the tight set of his jaw again. "Adrian, what's wrong?" I asked. "I keep feeling like people are staring at us, but I'm not exactly sure why and, well, it seems to bother you."

He turned his gorgeous smile on me and I could tell he was lying when he said, "Nothing's wrong." I gave him a level stare.

Adrian sighed and dropped the smile. "Fine, it's just the auras I'm seeing."

"What? What do you mean?" I asked confused.

He sat there for a moment as if to decide what he should say before he spoke. "It's not the staring that is bothering me, because, well, they are staring." That made me feel a little uncomfortable to hear that I had been right about people staring. "It's the feelings that go with it." He paused again. "Their either shocked or disgusted," he finally said.

I did not know how to respond to him. "Shocked or disgusted," I stammered. I'm not sure what look my face held, but I could see that it hurt him to say this to me.

"Well, they can tell your human and an Alchemist no less," he said and I absently brought my hand up to my cheek where my tattoo was. "With me being royal…seeing us together walking around…apparently it bothers them," he managed to get out.

I just sat there stunned. All this time I had been so worried about what the Alchemists would think about how I felt about Adrian, I never once thought about how Moroi would think about it. My thoughts started running wild. They were disgusted. Disgusted by me. What was I doing? I couldn't do this to Adrian. He had enough problems with what had happened with his mother. I wouldn't damage his reputation more.

"Um, I'm going to go back to my room for a little bit before dinner," I said, hastily getting up and out of his reach.

"Wait, Sage," he called out as I made my retreat. I had no doubt he could see the embarrassment and hurt in my aura, I just hoped he wouldn't follow me.

**Please R & R. I always love to hear what you think. Thanks! :)**


	28. Chapter 28

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews, favs, and alerts and as usual, sorry for the delay. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_Wait, Sage," he called out as I made my retreat. I had no doubt he could see the embarrassment and hurt in my aura, I just hoped he wouldn't follow me._

Chapter 28

I waited out the rest of the time before dinner in my room. I couldn't stop thinking about what being around Adrian was doing to his reputation. I knew that his royal status was tenuous at best. He had disgracefully pursued a guardian. Then his mother had shamed the family by stealing documents and paying off witnesses when said guardian was charged with murder. His father had all but cut him off. Now what was I doing, but complicating things more. I knew that we could never have a relationship. It wasn't just frowned upon. It was unthinkable.

I lied on the bed as my emotions ran rampant. I knew when I started having these feelings for Adrian that they were just wrong. He just drove me so crazy at times. Then there were times when everything was just right. I remembered when we talked about love. All of the emotions that he tried to explain that went into it. They were always there between us, no matter how hard I tried to deny it.

However, even love can't endure all of these obstacles, can it? The tears that I had held back while I tried to sort out my feelings began to flow freely. Why did I have to fall in love with him?

At some point, I must have fallen asleep, because I was startled awake by a knock at the door. As I trudged over to answer it, I prayed that it wasn't Adrian.

"Hey Sydney," Jill said as I opened the door. She was standing before me decked out in a full-length royal blue silk gown and three-inch heels. The dress was very slinky and hugged her curves nicely. Her light brown waves cascaded over her bare shoulders and the diamond dewdrop pendant that she wore around her neck pulled the look together nicely.

Angeline stood behind her in a lacy black dress that came to just above her knee. She wore a pair of wedge heels, which gave her the added height, but not the instability of walking on a skinny heel. Her auburn hair was held up with a silver clip and a silver heart pendant hung around her neck.

After I took in both of them, I realized how much of a wreck I must have been. My clothes were rumpled from sleeping in them and I was sure that my eyes were still a little puffy from the crying that I had done earlier. The last thing I wanted to do was go to this fancy dinner.

"Sydney, you're not even dressed yet," Jill squeaked out in shock pushing me back into the room. "Go get a shower now. I will get your clothes out and then I can help you with your hair and makeup," she said shooing me off to the bathroom. Startled by the way that Jill was taking charge, I hurried off and took a quick shower.

When I came out in my robe, she had everything already laid out for me. "Come sit here and let me fix your hair," Jill said hair dryer and brush in hand. She expertly styled my hair turning the ends under and pulling back one side in a gold clip. After she put the finishing touches on my makeup, she helped me into my dress.

My gown was a backless full-length silk dress with a slit up the side. When I had seen the sales woman with it in the store, I was extremely skeptical, but after I had tried it on, I was amazed at how well it fit me. It seemed to accentuate all of the right parts of my body. It was a gorgeous deep emerald green color. The sales woman said that my sweater had inspired her. I think the only reason I had agreed to the dress is that it reminded me of Adrian's eyes.

"So, we ready to go?" Jill said with a smile. I did another check in the mirror at my makeup. Either the puffiness from crying had gone down or Jill had done a good job covering it up. I still didn't feel up to going, but I did not want to let her down. "Sure," I replied.

As we started heading towards the stairs, I asked Jill where everyone else was. "Oh, they headed down already. I just told them that we would meet them there," she said. "Angeline, why don't you go on down, I've got something I want to give to Sydney back in my room," Jill said to Angeline. Angeline just shrugged and headed off.

"What did you need to give me?" I asked hesitantly. "I didn't miss the secret Santa exchange already, did I?"

"No, no it's not that. I just wanted to talk for a minute in private," she said, as she seemed to be looking for the right words to say. "Is there something wrong between you and Adrian?"

I tried to keep the look of shock off my face. I knew that we hadn't really been hiding the time we were spending together in public, but I had hoped it could be passed off as just friendship. Eddie had been the only one to ever witness anything that was beyond plain old friendship. "What do you mean?" I asked as casually as I could.

Jill gave me a level stare. "Come on. I'm not blind. Something has been up with you two for a while. I'm just not sure what." I remained silent, trying to figure out the best way to handle this. "You guys went off together to tour the resort and then we find Adrian alone sitting at a balcony. He was pretty upset, but I couldn't get a good vibe what it was about. It had to be about you, though, because you weren't with him."

"Jill, I'm sure it was nothing," I said hoping to cut her off. "I was just tired, so I went back to my room for a little bit. I have no idea why Adrian would be upset," I lied smoothly.

She seemed to eye me warily as if she were trying to decide whether to pursue the topic or not. In the end, she merely shrugged it off. "Okay, fine. Let's head down to dinner. Everyone is waiting."

As we descended the stairs and headed towards the restaurant, I tried to calm myself. I was not pleased with how much Jill had noticed. Were we really that obvious? I know that Trey and Mr. Juarez had said that they could see it, but I never thought we had crossed any lines in public.

Of course, I knew I was wrong to assume this. The simple fact of Adrian and I walking together was enough to cause stares from other Moroi. It was enough to cross the line between human and vampire.

Looking over at Jill, I realized that not only did our affection hurt us, but it also could hurt her. She was a princess. She would be involved in any scandal just from association. By the time we got to the restaurant, I realized I needed to keep my distance from Adrian, not only for him, but for Jill as well.

I followed Jill over to our table, not looking directly at it. I kept my gaze lowered, feeling the weight of the stares. Being here with everyone on this vacation, no longer seemed like a good idea. I wondered if there was any way to talk Rose into sending me back to Palm Springs. I cringed as I thought that maybe she could pull a few strings with Abe.

When my gaze finally swept to our table, it was as if my eyes knew exactly where Adrian was. Our eyes met and I could see so much emotion in his. He looked amazing in his tuxedo. As his gaze swept over me, shivers ran through my body.

Eddie was already by Jill pulling her chair out for her. Adrian quickly moved around the table to do the same for me. I let him offer this gesture, not wanting to shun him so openly, but I knew these public gestures needed to stop.

Once we were all seated, Mikhail tapped his glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention. "We have an announcement," Mikhail said gesturing towards Sonya as he stood. "I have asked my lovely Sonya to marry me and she has so graciously accepted." Jill squealed with delight as everyone started offering their congratulations.

"Ooh, let me see the ring," said Jill to Sonya. Sonya held out her hand with a very proud smile, showing off the beautiful ring. Jill, Eddie, and Angeline crowded around to get a good look and offer hugs of congratulations. I watched their joyous exchange with a smile.

Still smiling as I watched everyone, I realized that Adrian had come around to sit next to me. Turning to him, I watched as his emerald eyes shimmered with the joy that he felt for his friends. "So, is that what you were picking up for Mikhail when we were shopping?" I asked.

His eyes met mine and a sly smile spread across his face. "Why of course. What else would I have been in there for?" It was as if he was daring me to question his reasons.

As everyone came to sit back down, Jill took Adrian's seat next to Eddie and left me sitting beside Adrian. So much for trying to put some distance between us, I thought to myself.

As our meals were served, my eyes wandered over everyone in the restaurant. It was full of elegantly dressed Moroi, laughing and enjoying the festivities. There was soft classical music playing and part of the restaurant was set up for dancing. What I noticed most of all, though, was that no one seemed to be paying attention to us. It seemed that staring awkwardly at me had taken a backseat to celebrating the holidays.

With this realization, I began to relax and enjoy everyone's company. That was, at least, until dinner was finished and several of the Moroi had gotten up to dance. Mikhail turned to Sonya offering her his hand. "Would you like to dance my beauty?" he said with such love. Sonya took his hand and they wandered off to the dance floor.

Then just like that, everyone seemed to be pairing off. Eddie turned to Jill asking her to dance. Some other dhampir that I had seen when we were touring the resort came up and asked Angeline if she would like to dance. Angeline hesitated at first, but then decided to take the offer. I was glad to see that she was willing to try to enjoy herself, but that left me alone at the table with Adrian.

I picked at my napkin and glanced around at everyone dancing. "Sage?" Adrian said softly next to me. "Hmm," I answered as I continued to look anywhere, but at him. "You look especially beautiful tonight," he murmured. I felt a blush creep up my body, as I remained silent. "Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?" he asked gently.

I turned towards him fully intending to tell him no, that I couldn't harm his reputation any longer, but when our eyes met my heart felt like it was going to burst. Those eyes, his eyes, seemed to be looking into my soul. I glanced down seeing his hand that he had offered and without a word, I took it.

As he led me out to the dance floor, I felt the weight of everyone's stares, but when he pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me I quickly forgot everyone else. As I looked into his eyes, it was as if there were only him, the music, and me. All of my other worries of what everyone would think simply melted away.

As we swayed to the music, I became very aware of his hands placed on my bare back. Even though they felt warm, his touch sent shivers down my spine. With the added height of my heels, I was able to lay my head against his shoulder and found myself nuzzling in close to the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. I knew that I shouldn't have, but I felt safe being this close to him.

When the song ended, I lifted my head and backed away from him. As our eyes met, the grin that spread across his face was enough to make me melt. I was almost sorry for the song to have ended.

As we stood still, gazing into each other's eyes, I caught the sight of the Moroi that had spoken to Adrian down in the spa coming our way. He was dressed in a tuxedo as well, but looked nowhere near as good as Adrian did in one.

"Hey Ivashkov," he said as he came up beside us. His walking was clearly steadier than it had been when I had seen him down in the spa. "Do you mind if I cut in?" He had a handsome smile, but his eyes seemed to linger a little too long over my body for my liking. The gaze made me shiver, but not in the same way that it would have if Adrian had been the one looking.

Adrian glanced at me as if to make sure this was okay and I just nodded. I knew I needed to put some distance between us. Besides, it would have probably seemed rude not to accept this Moroi's invitation to dance and would have only drawn more attention to the closeness between Adrian and me.

As Adrian passed me to the other Moroi, he leaned down and whispered, "I won't be far," in my ear. It was as if he wanted to reassure me, knowing how uncomfortable I was around vampires. All it truly did, though, was send another shiver down my spine.

This new Moroi pulled me close to him without any preamble and placed a hand rather low on my back. It was warm like Adrian's and a bit clammy. He was a little shorter than Adrian was and as we danced, he kept his face close to the side of mine. In fact, it was a little to close to my neck for comfort. I felt awkward in his arms and my mind started screaming at me for allowing myself to be in the arms of this vampire.

He spoke as we danced. "So, you and Ivashkov, huh?" It was a question and yet a statement as well.

I flushed a little and stammered out an answer. "Um…No." I did not know what else to say.

Then I felt his nose run along the side of my neck and my body began to tense. This just seemed to cause his arms to move tighter around me. I had a feeling he was smiling beside me, even though I could not see his face.

He remained silent for a little longer as we swayed together to the music. I could feel my heart racing from fear and I was almost sure that it was turning him on. He finally spoke as the song was coming to an end. "I'm having a private party later in my suite, if you would be interested, since it seems you are not committed." The way he said this was almost as if he were propositioning a prostitute. "I can guarantee it will be fun with plenty of the high that you like." As he said this, he placed a gentle kiss on my neck and I realized with sudden fear just what he thought I was.

Pushing out of his embrace as the song ended, I looked at him in horror. "I am not a feeder," I snapped. Adrian was at my side instantly looking angrier than I had seen him look before. The Moroi I had been dancing with did not seem phased by this. He simply turned to Adrian and said, "Got yourself a feisty one there. How were you able to tame her?"

Without any warning, Adrian punched the Moroi sending him sprawling towards the floor. Several gasps ran through the crowd of people around us. Adrian continued to glare down at the Moroi where he lay holding his nose that was clearly broken. I couldn't move, frozen by the shock of what had been said and what Adrian had done.

I felt Jill come up beside me, gently pulling me away. Eddie had appeared and was trying to calm the situation down between Adrian and the other Moroi. As I was pulled from the crowd, I looked back over my shoulder. Eddie had helped the other Moroi up and was now, not so gently pushing Adrian out of the crowd in the other direction.

"What happened?" Jill asked, searching my face. I felt numb with shock. Jill sat me down on a bench outside of the restaurant, clearly worried that I was going to pass out. Angeline had joined her now, along with Sonya.

I wasn't able to find my voice. That…that Moroi…that vampire. He thought I was a feeder. Chills ran over me, raising goose bumps on my arms. Sonya took my hand and placed a glass of water in it. "Here. Drink this," she said her voice full of concern.

Jill sat down beside me, placing her hand on my free hand that was not holding the water. I distantly heard her telling Angeline and Sonya that she would stay with me and to go back and enjoy themselves.

As the time passed, I continued to stare off into the distance replaying the way he had spoke to me, the way he had held me and kissed my neck after running his nose along it. It was as if he had thought I was a fine wine.

Eddie finally came to find us. "I took Adrian back to his room," he said to Jill. I could feel the weight of his stare on me. "Is she okay?" he tried discreetly to ask Jill.

I turned my gaze to him and could only imagine how ghostly I looked. "I think I would like to go now," I said before Jill could answer him.

"Sure," Jill said calmly rising up from beside me. I waved her off. "I'll be fine. Go back and enjoy yourselves," I said as I numbly walked towards the stairs. I heard Eddie whisper something to Jill before he came up beside me.

He took my arm and I leaned on him. I had not realized how unsteady I felt until he had done that. "I'll walk you back," he said not leaving any room for argument.

As we reached my door, I released his arm and got my key out. "Are you sure you are going to be okay?" Eddie asked in that protective way that he had. I looked to him for the first time focusing and could see the lines of concern etched in his face. This was the way that people looked at each other when they truly cared about them. My chest tightened realizing how much I truly cared about all of them as well. It was wrong for me to feel this way, but they really had become like family for me.

"I'm sure. I'll be fine," I said giving him a slight smile. He gave me a brotherly hug and turned to head back towards the stairs. I stood at my door watching until he was out of sight.

**I will be starting the next chapter right now, so hopefully it won't be long before I update again. Please R & R. :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**AN: Well, here is the next chapter as promised. I went without sleep to write this, so I hope it is to your liking. This chapter is full of Sydrian goodness. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_I'm sure. I'll be fine," I said giving him a slight smile. He gave me a brotherly hug and turned to head back towards the stairs. I stood at my door watching until he was out of sight. _

Chapter 29

For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to go into my room. I just stood there staring at the door. I wrapped my arms around myself as if to fend off the chill I kept feeling as I replayed the way that Moroi had spoke to me, the way he had touched me.

Numbly, I turned towards Adrian's door. I had heard Eddie say that he had taken Adrian back to his room. No matter how scared I was of vampires at that moment, I knew that the only person who would be able to comfort me was just that, a vampire.

I don't remember crossing the few feet to his door and I don't remember knocking on it either. What I do remember is him opening the door. He was still wearing his tuxedo, but his jacket was off with his tie undone along with the first few buttons of his shirt. "Sage," he said, a hint of shock in his voice. I moved towards him collapsing into his embrace as my tears began to flow freely. He pulled me into his room and kicked the door shut behind him.

He held me like that for several minutes, murmuring softly to me and stroking my hair. As my sobs quieted, he placed a gentle hand on my chin and raised it so that our eyes met. His eyes were filled with so much concern and love. "Are you okay?" he asked me softly as he wiped away my tears.

I was lost in his eyes and I felt unable to breath. The only times I could remember ever feeling completely safe were when I was in Adrian's arms. "Are you?" I answered him with a question.

That was when I noticed the hand that he was stroking my cheek with. It was red and swollen. I moved back out of his embrace and took hold of his hand. He winced a little at my touch. "Is it broken?" I asked in horror at the fact that he would have hurt himself for me.

"It's okay Sage. Really," he breathed pulling his hand back. "I'm more concerned about you. If I had known that that was what he thought you were, I would have never let him near you," he said darkly. The memory of that Moroi's kiss on my neck sent another chill through my body.

Adrian moved closer to me placing one hand at my waist and cupping my cheek with the other. "No one will ever make that mistake about you again," he said fiercely. "I will make sure of it."

Seeing the passion in his eyes and feeling it in his words, I knew that he would do anything to protect me and at that moment that was all I needed. Giving in to the contact that my body was screaming for, I leaned into him gliding my hand into his hair and pulled him towards me.

Our lips met in a gentle and tender kiss. His hands slid to my bare back, pulling me closer. The kiss was similar to the last kiss we had ever shared. The one during that spirit dream, yet it felt like so much more. That prior kiss was goodbye, but this kiss was filled with so many promises of a future.

Breaking the kiss and stepping back, I tried to read the expression on Adrian's face. He seemed at a loss for words. He was staring at me with such awe and wonder, that I turned away as a blush crept up on my cheeks.

I took his injured hand in mine. "I think we should get some ice on this," I said moving him towards his couch. He let me lead him and remained silent as I got some ice from the mini-fridge. Wrapping the ice in a towel, I went back to sit on the couch beside Adrian and placed the ice on his hand.

We sat in silence for several minutes absently staring at the television that was currently playing "It's a Wonderful Life." I fidgeted with the slit of my dress, unsure of how to start a conversation after that kiss that we had shared. That was when I started hearing something that sounded faintly like fireworks.

I glanced over at Adrian with a questioning look. "It's a Christmas tradition at the resort," he said understanding the look I gave him. I knew that it was well past midnight and officially Christmas day, but I guess I hadn't thought about vampires really having Christmas traditions. He rose from the couch offering me his hand and led me to the balcony of his suite.

Stepping towards the railing, I watched the sky light up in awe. It was filled with green and red bursts of color creating a very festive display. The breeze was light, but the weather was still chilly enough to cause me to shiver. I felt as Adrian stepped up behind me draping his discarded tuxedo jacket over my shoulders. Grasping the edges of it, I pulled it closer around me and absently breathed in his scent.

He stood beside me with his hands on the railing gazing up at the fireworks. Turning slightly, I watched his profile as the sky continued to light up. He smiled as he caught me watching him out of the corner of his eye. Blushing faintly, I turned back towards the fireworks display.

As the fireworks continued, I became aware that he was watching me now. As I turned to him, he gave me a considering look and moved closer to me. Leaning in he brushed his lips against mine as he softly said, "Merry Christmas, Sage."

"Merry Christmas, Adrian," I murmured back before pressing my lips more firmly to his. It was as if we were in a fairy tale, kissing on a balcony with fireworks in the background. I lost myself completely in the taste of his lips on mine as I twined my hands in his hair pulling him in to deepen the kiss. His jacket had slipped from my shoulders and his hands were running along my spine sending shivers and causing me to gasp slightly as our lips parted and our tongues danced together.

Pulling back slightly to come up for air, he placed his forehead against mine keeping me close. His breathing was ragged and I know that mine matched his. When he chuckled softly, I gave him a questioning look as I raised my eyebrows. "I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop," he said. That was when we heard the door to his suite open. "And there it is," he added as he backed away from me glancing into the suite.

I realized now what he meant. I don't think there had been a time yet when we had shared an intimate moment and not been interrupted for one reason or another. As I glanced back into the suite, I saw Eddie, Jill, and Angeline coming in.

Jill came bounding out to the balcony. As Eddie and Angeline followed her, I could see that Eddie knew they had interrupted something. Adrian bent down and retrieved his jacket for me, placing it back over my shoulders. "Isn't it beautiful," Jill said to me gazing up at the fireworks display.

"It sure is," I replied trying to return her cheerfulness. She looked over at me and smiled. I think she was just glad to see that my prior state of shock had passed.

"So, who is ready for the secret Santa exchange," she continued excitedly.

"I for one am," Eddie replied with a smile. I knew he would have been ready for anything that Jill suggested.

"Well, I'm going to need to go get my gift," I said as we moved back into the suite. "Us too," Jill said gesturing between her and Angeline. I handed Adrian his jacket back as we moved towards the door.

"Eddie, would you mind helping me with mine," I asked. Even though a boxing set that included a training dummy was the perfect gift for Angeline, it certainly was not practical in size for me to carry back to their room.

Adrian seemed amused by me having to ask for help carrying my gift. "What the heck did you buy, Sage?" he asked with a smirk.

"You'll just have to wait and see once I give it to whomever it belongs to," I replied with a smile as I left with Eddie.

As Eddie followed me into my room he asked, "Are you okay now?" When I turned back to him, I noticed his prior look of concern back on his face again. "Adrian had told me what happened when I brought him back to his room," he continued. "I just wanted to let you know that none of us would ever let that happen to you."

I smiled at him remembering that feeling of how much I truly cared for all of them. "I know," I said. "And I'm fine. Really. It just took me by surprise. I went to see Adrian after you left and he was really comforting."

A knowing smile played on Eddie's lips. "I have a feeling he was more than comforting." I felt my cheeks heat with that telltale blush. Picking up Angeline's gift, he turned and carried it to their room.

Back in Eddie and Adrian's room, we gathered around the sitting area. Jill pulled me over to sit on the couch beside her. Angeline was already seated on Jill's other side. Adrian had brought over the two chairs that sat beside the beds for Eddie and him to sit in.

"Okay, everyone has their gift in front of them," Jill said giddily. "Who wants to go first?"

"Well, I say the person with the biggest gift should go first," Eddie said staring down Angeline's present from me.

"That sounds like a good idea," Jill replied. "We will open by size, going from biggest to smallest."

Angeline looked at the gift I gave her hesitantly. It was almost as if she was worried about what I could have possibly bought her. As she tore the wrapping off her gift, her eyes lit up. "No way!" she exclaimed. "This is so cool." She jumped up reaching across Jill and hugged me. It wasn't quite the reaction I had expected, but it was nice all the same. Everyone was laughing at how excited she had gotten. As she released me, I told her that she was to name the training dummy Sydney and never to ask me to train with her again. She waved off my comment as she continued to read the box regarding what all came in the set.

"Okay, it looks like Adrian is next," Jill said as she passed the next smallest package to him. "This one is from me," she added.

Adrian smiled at her as he took it and ripped the paper off. It was a very nice paint set with several tubes of colors and brushes. There were also a couple of blank canvas and a painter's palette. "Thanks Jailbait," he said with a smile as he came over and gave her a hug.

Angeline lifted up the next smallest package. "This is for you Eddie," she said as she passed it over to him. As he ripped the paper off, he revealed a long slender box. Opening the box, his eyes widened. Eddie pulled out a set of fairly lethal looking nunchucks. "These are awesome," he said as he continued to stare at them. It was almost as humorous of a reaction as Angeline's was. He moved around to Angeline pulling her up into a hug. "Thank you so much. I've always wanted a pair." Jill could not help the giggle she let out as she watched Eddie.

After Eddie regained his composure, he pulled out the next smallest gift and passed it to Jill. "This is for you," he said with a wide smile on his face. Jill took the present tearing the wrapping back to reveal a medium sized velvet box that would normally contain jewelry. She snapped the box open and sucked in a breath as she gazed at what was inside. She pulled out a delicate charm bracelet with two charms dangling from it. One of the charms was a sapphire dewdrop clearly representing her water element and the other was a little silver stake. "This is beautiful," she breathed. Reaching her arm across to Eddie, she looked at him under half lidded eyes, "Would you put it on for me?" Taking the bracelet, he gently clasped it around her wrist. Getting up she walked over to him, bending to give him a hug where he sat. They seemed to embrace longer than most casual hugs and I started feeling a little uncomfortable watching them. Adrian cleared his throat and Jill released Eddie whispering thank you in his ear before moving back to her seat on the couch.

"Well, after that great gift, I don't know how mine will ever be able to compare," Adrian said with a mischievous grin. Getting up and coming to sit on the arm of the couch next to me, he pulled a very small gift from his pocket and handed it to me. Taking his gift, I turned it over in my hand. It was clearly not in a box, whatever it was, and Adrian had obviously wrapped it himself. Not wanting to damage whatever was inside, I carefully opened the paper at the seams. As I looked down at his gift in my hands, I couldn't help the smile that played across my lips and I started to chuckle thinking about that day at Clarence's. "Come on, lets see," Jill pleaded next to me. To her dismay, I held up a keychain with a little eight ball dangling from it. She looked at it with confusion, but just shrugged seeing that I seemed to be pleased with it. I turned to Adrian pulling him down towards me in a hug. "If I knew you were going to be that grateful over a keychain, I would have got you two," he chuckled. I couldn't help but laugh into his shoulder at his comment.

"So who's up for a nightcap?" Jill asked. "I hear there is supposed to be some kind of party going on down in the spa."

"I'm in," said Eddie as he got up picking up his box and taking it over to stash it with his stuff. Angeline just shrugged in agreement and left taking her boxing set with her.

"Just let me get changed," said Eddie, "and I'll meet you guys at your room."

Jill looked expectantly at Adrian and me. "I didn't bring a bathing suit with me," I said.

"Oh. I guess I should have given you a heads up about the spa," she said with a sigh.

"That's okay," Adrian said. "I'll keep Sage company. You guys run along and have your fun."

"Are you sure?" Jill asked, reluctant to leave us behind.

"Yes," I said reassuringly. "I think I'm just going to go back to my room and relax on the balcony." Turning to Adrian I said, "If you want to go along with them, you don't have to keep me company."

By this time, Eddie had come back from the bathroom in his swimming trunks. "You ready to go get changed?" he asked Jill as he came to stand beside her.

Jill looked again towards Adrian to see if he wanted to go. "No, I'm good. I'm not really in a partying kind of mood anyways," Adrian said. Jill just shrugged and left with Eddie trailing behind her.

As I got up from the couch, Adrian stood as well. "Really Adrian, you don't have to keep me company if you don't want to," I said not wanting him to miss out on the party.

Now that we were alone, he moved closer to me. He reached out and ran the back of his hand down my bare arm until he reached my hand. "I want to spend time with you, Sage," he said with desire flickering in his eyes.

My body couldn't help the shudder that ran through it as I remembered our earlier kiss on his balcony. Trying to keep my composure, I took hold of his hand entwining our fingers together. "Well, when you put it that way, let's go back to my room then," I said as seductively as I could. He raised his eyebrows to my response, but said nothing as I led him to my room next door.

The door to my suite had just barely closed behind us before Adrian pulled me towards him placing a passionate kiss on my lips. Giving in to my desires, I kicked my shoes off and pulled him towards the couch. Not breaking our kiss, his hands continued to caress the skin that was left exposed by my dress as we moved.

It seemed like a great distance to get to the couch. When my legs finally bumped the edge of it, I released his lips gasping for air. My heart was racing and the desire burning in his emerald eyes was fueling the fire that was now burning deep inside me.

Adrian gently eased me down to the couch leaning over top of me on his elbows careful not to put all his weight on me. He softly placed butterfly kisses starting at my lips, running along my jaw line and then down my neck. A quiet moan escaped my mouth as I closed my eyes enjoying the feel of his lips on my skin. I felt his body shiver in response and then he slowly kissed his way back up to my ear, which only caused me to shiver as well.

My hands slid down the front of his chest as he kissed me. I started tugging on his shirt to free it from his pants. Then I slid my hands back up to the buttons. Pulling back from me slightly, he took hold of my hand to stop me. I watched the battle for self-control in his eyes as he looked down at me.

"You don't have to do this," he said breathlessly. "I won't make you do anything you don't want to." He looked so serious and I knew he was just being cautious. Taking some calming breaths I said, "I know and I'm not sure I'm ready for everything, but it seems a little unfair that I don't have any skin to touch as well."

Where he held my hand against his chest, I could feel his heart rate quicken from my response. Releasing my hand, he stared down at me with darkened eyes of desire as I unbuttoned his shirt. Leaning up together, I slid his shirt down his shoulders and back. He tossed it to the side and took me into his arms kissing me as if I were the only air he needed.

I ran my hands along his bare back trying to memorize every inch of skin, every moving muscle. I could feel him doing the same with mine as our tongues danced in a never-ending kiss.

I'm not exactly sure how long we caressed and kissed, but eventually we had to break apart as exhaustion took over. Somewhere during the melee of kissing, I had come to rest on top of him. I laid my head against his chest listening to his erratic heartbeat as we both tried to come down from the passionate high that we had been riding. He absently ran his hand along my thigh that was exposed from the slit in my dress.

Breaking the silence Adrian said, "You know, we never made it to the balcony." I couldn't help but laugh. I pushed up from him, so that I could look into his eyes. "Well, next time, I guess you will have to wait until we are at the balcony before you start kissing me."

He gave me a devilish grin to which I asked him, "What?"

"I just wanted to make sure that there was going to be a next time," he smirked.

Pulling him up from the couch, I led him out to the balcony. "Oh, there will definitely be a next time," I said seductively. Running my hands up his chest to his neck, I pulled him closer to me. "And I was thinking that now was a good time to start that next time."

He smiled against my lips. "Don't you think it is a little cold out here for this?" he asked between tender kisses as we stood on the balcony together in the early morning breeze. The sun was just starting to rise in the distance.

"All I know is that I never want this night to end," I said breathlessly against his lips.

Pulling me closer to him he said, "I promise that you may have as many nights like this as you want, but I do think it is time to go inside before you catch a cold." Thrilled by his promise, I decided I wouldn't push the fact that I rarely got sick because of my tattoo.

As he led me inside, he closed the glass doors and pulled the drapes across them. Turning towards me, I could see that he was struggling with having to leave this moment between us. I made the decision for him as I came closer resting my hand on his arm. "Stay," I said as I met his eyes.

Never breaking our gaze, he placed his hands at my waist. "Are you sure?"

A sudden wave of shyness hit me, so I dropped my gaze from his eyes and gave a slight nod. "It's just sleep and you have offered to stay with me before."

Cupping my cheek with one hand, he gently turned my face back to him and placed a soft kiss on my lips. Taking his hand, I backed up and climbed onto my bed. He slid his shoes off and climbed in after me. Pulling me towards him, I laid my head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

I had not realized how tired I was until I was lying there in his embrace. I could feel him stroking my hair, as my eyelids drifted close. Before sleep completely consumed me, I could have sworn I heard him murmur, "I love you, Sydney."

**I hope Sydney giving into her desires wasn't too OOC. Please R & R and let me know what you think. Thanks much! :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**AN: I was glad to read that most people did not feel that Sydney was OOC in the last chapter. Thanks, as always, for the reviews. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_I had not realized how tired I was until I was lying there in his embrace. I could feel him stroking my hair, as my eyelids drifted close. Before sleep completely consumed me, I could have sworn I heard him murmur, "I love you, Sydney."_

Chapter 30

I awoke to the soft snores of Adrian lying underneath me. My body was still draped over him with his arms firmly wrapped around me. My bare thigh was tangled with his legs and the thought of waking him if I untangled myself was almost too much to bear. I listened to the rise and fall of his chest while I ran my fingers along his stomach muscles.

As I laid there, I replayed the prior night's events in my head. I knew I had been bolder than I ever had with him and I didn't regret it. It had just felt so good to live in the moment. The only problem was, what were we to do now? I hadn't wanted last night to end and even though he promised me more nights like it, I just wasn't sure how that could ever happen.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I did not realize his snoring had ceased. It wasn't until he moved one of his arms from around me, placing his hand on top of the one I had been running along his stomach.

"You're tickling me Sage," he said in a sleepy voice.

"I'm sorry," I said against his chest.

"Don't be," he said. "It wasn't a bad feeling. It was just something that I couldn't sleep through." As I listened to his words rumbling from his chest, I realized that his heart was beating faster than it had been. The realization that I might have actually been turning him on hit me with a wave of embarrassment.

"Oh, I didn't mean to…," I couldn't finish my sentence, so I began to untangle myself from him praying that it was dark enough in the room to hide the blush that I felt heating my cheeks.

"Wait," he said reaching for me as he turned over in the direction I was moving. "Don't go." The way he said it stopped me from making any further movements to retreat. He grasped my hand as he leaned up on his elbow and his gaze lingered over my body. I couldn't help myself from letting my eyes graze over his body as well.

Leaning up more, Adrian released my hand and ran his up the length of my arm. He gently brushed my hair back from my shoulder and tucked it behind my ear. "You are absolutely beautiful," he said as if he were the luckiest man alive.

I attempted to turn away as I always did when he made comments like this, but he pulled himself up closer to me capturing my gaze in his. "I know you don't believe me when I say it, Sage. I can see the doubt in your aura, but truly you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on."

There was no way for me to respond. I reached out and stroked his cheek with my hand feeling the slight stubble that was starting to grow there. Not looking away from him I simply said, "I'm the lucky one."

He slid his arm around my waist pulling me down to him. He kissed me sweetly stroking my hair and then pulled me into his chest. We laid like that for several more minutes, but I knew that if we didn't get up soon the others would come looking for us. The thought of them interrupting us made me giggle.

With my head still placed on his chest Adrian asked, "What's so amusing?"

Leaning up to look into his eyes, I couldn't contain my smile. "Well, for once it seems like the only shoes that dropped were ours." This brought a smile to his face as he pulled me up, rolling over on me as he began to tickle my sides.

I tried to stifle my laughter as he brought his face down towards mine. "You're just a regular comedian, Sage," he said against my lips and then pulled me up from the bed with him.

As I stood in front of him, I realized just how disheveled we looked. The silk dress was definitely not made for sleeping in and his pants showed signs of serious wrinkles.

As he held my hand, he slipped his shoes on. Then he led me across the room towards the couch where his shirt had been discarded on the floor. Picking it up, Adrian slid it on. I couldn't help myself as I moved in close and started buttoning it for him.

With barely any space between us, I slowly buttoned my way down his shirt. I felt his body tense as I moved further down. Looking up at him, I noticed his eyes darkening with desire. "Careful, Sage," he said in a husky voice. "You keep it up and I won't be able to let you finish." The way he spoke with those eyes boring into mine, made my insides melt.

I released his shirt, sliding my hands up his chest until they were wrapped around his neck. He leaned down capturing my lips with his in a deep kiss. "You have no idea how much you drive me crazy," he growled against my lips before pulling back from our kiss.

I couldn't help myself when I responded, "Likewise." A look of surprise at my response crossed Adrian's face, but was quickly replaced by a mischievous grin.

Before any more words were spoken, someone knocked at my door. His grin turned to soft laughter as he said, "Where are those shoes when you need one?" He quickly composed himself after his joke, once he caught sight of the look on my face.

"Sage?" he asked hesitantly.

"Oh God. They cannot see you here. No one can see you here," I said as the horror of being caught having obviously spent the night with a vampire hit. Without thinking, I backed away from him. It was as if all of my upbringing about vampires had suddenly come crashing back.

Looking at Adrian, I saw the hurt in his eyes from what I had just said. I hadn't meant to hurt him, it was just instinct, a momentary lapse from a lifetime of being raised a certain way.

"Adrian," I said moving back towards him unable to believe that I had just reacted like that.

Almost instinctively, he stepped back from me. The hurt that I had seen was immediately replaced by a neutral expression.

"Don't get so worked up," he said tightly. "I'll just go hide in your bathroom, while you get rid of them." The tone he used made my heart ache.

"Adrian," I said again reaching for him, but he put his hands up as if to ward me off.

"Just tell them you will meet them for breakfast and to go on ahead without you. I'll leave once you're gone. No one ever has to know I was here." I could tell that he was struggling to keep his voice under control.

As another insistent knock sounded at the door, Adrian walked off towards my bathroom without another word.

I opened the door to find Jill and Angeline on the other side of it. Jill's eyes widened as she took in my state. "Whoa, Sydney. Did you have a rough night?" There was no sarcasm in her voice, just concern.

I looked down at myself again, remembering how wrinkled I looked still wearing the dress from the night before. "Uh," I said trying to fumble for words, the thought of Adrian's hurt expression fresh in my mind. "I fell asleep on the balcony."

Jill raised a concerned eyebrow at me. "Okay. Well, we were heading down to breakfast. Did you want to come?"

"Just let me get a shower and I'll meet you guys down there," I said hoping that it would buy me some time to talk to Adrian.

"Alright, I guess. Eddie is already waiting down there for us," she said hesitantly. "Um, have you seen Adrian? Eddie said he didn't come back last night."

Staying calm I said, "No, I haven't seen him since a little after you all left for that party last night." As I listened to myself, I couldn't believe I was lying to her. What would it have really hurt to say that I had been with him, that he was still here now?

"Oh. Okay," Jill said a little baffled. "Well, I guess we'll see you downstairs."

Shutting the door on Angeline and Jill, I turned to see Adrian coming out of the bathroom. I noticed that he had finished buttoning his shirt and had tucked it back into his pants.

"Well, you better hurry up and get that shower," he said emotionlessly as he came over and sat down on the couch turning on the television. The hurt look on his face earlier was all I could see in my mind.

"Adrian, I'm sorry," I said, but he didn't look towards me.

"What would you have to be sorry for," he simply stated, clearly dismissing me as he focused on the television.

When I came out from the shower, Adrian was still seated on the couch. He didn't even bother to look up as I came into the room. "You better get going," he said flatly.

I knew I hurt him and I could tell he was angry, but I did not know how to fix it and really what could I say anyway. How did I explain that my reaction was just out of habit? That I wished I could take it back, that I really would be the luckiest woman alive to have him by my side. It was hard to believe how happy I had been in his arms not that long ago.

"Adrian," I said, but when he looked up at me with his beautiful emerald eyes completely devoid of any feelings I couldn't find the words that I needed to say. Instead, I simply asked, "Where will you say you were?" I had no idea why this mattered to me. I had already pushed him away by not wanting to admit that I had been with him.

"Don't worry about it, Sage," he replied turning back to the television. "No one will ever know we were together. Your secret is safe." I felt my heart break with those words, as I turned and left.

When I reached everyone having breakfast, I noticed that Jill and Eddie seemed to be sitting a little closer than usual to each other and they seemed to be having some kind of hushed conversation. I also noticed that the guy who had asked Angeline to dance the other night was also sitting at the table with Angeline.

Jill looked up noticing my arrival and her cheeks seemed a little flushed as if she were embarrassed about being caught talking so closely with Eddie. "Hey, Sydney. Have you met Martin?" she said gesturing towards the person beside Angeline.

"Hi," I said as I glanced over at him, "nice to meet you." Clearly, he was a dhampir and he also was clearly smitten by Angeline. He gave me a bashful smile and nodded his head in way of greeting.

"Well, we are going to head off for some skiing," Angeline said getting up and cutting a look at Martin. He immediately followed suit, obviously not wanting to do anything to upset her. As they walked off, I saw him trying to take her hand and she reluctantly allowed him.

"They certainly are an interesting couple," I said as I sat down in their now vacant seats.

"Yeah," Jill said almost wistfully. "We ran into him down in the spa and he hasn't seemed to leave her side. I think it's cute."

Eddie laughed. "I'm not sure I'd call it cute. More like pathetic. The poor guy is following her around like a lost puppy."

Jill smacked Eddie's arm playfully. "Quit being so mean," she said with a smile.

"Being so mean about what?" Adrian asked as he walked up to us. When I looked over at his approach, I noticed that he had changed and his hair was still a little damp from a shower. He pulled out the empty chair next to me, but seemed to angle it further away from me when he sat down.

"Angeline seems to have a boyfriend," Eddie said teasingly. "Except she seems to think he is more like a servant."

"Stop it, Eddie," Jill said shaking her head. "So, where have you been all this time?" she asked expectantly of Adrian. When I looked over at him for his answer, I noticed that he wore his classic arrogant smile that I hadn't seen on his lips in a long time.

"Well, since Sage didn't want my company," he said not even glancing my way, "I found someone who did. You know me, always the life of the party."

"Oh really," Eddie said glancing between Adrian and me. I am not sure if he had thought we had been together last night or not, but he did not seem pleased to hear that Adrian would be out trolling for women.

"You know that there isn't a woman alive who can withstand my charms," Adrian said loftily and just like that some slender Moroi walked by giving him a seductive smile and he nodded at her smiling back.

I had to admit, it wasn't the first time that I had seen a woman look at Adrian that way or try to catch his eye, but it was definitely the first time, in a long time, that I had seen him respond to it. I wasn't the only one to notice. Eddie and Jill both seemed to have surprised expressions on their faces.

Looking back across the table at Eddie and Jill, Adrian said, "What?"

Jill just shrugged. "Um, nothing."

"Well, I was going to go see the feeders. Did you want to come with me?" Adrian asked Jill like it was the most common question to ask. The thing was, that it wasn't. He never liked to talk about blood and feeding when I was around. It was as if he was acting like I wasn't even there or that he just simply didn't care that I was.

Eddie glanced over at me again. This time he looked like he was concerned. I knew Adrian was angry and just trying to hurt me and it was not as if I didn't deserve it. Not wanting Eddie's concern, I looked away. "Yeah, you guys should go," I said standing. "I'll see you later." Adrian continued to ignore my existence as I turned to leave.

"Wait," Jill said. "I was going to see if you wanted to go shopping for a bathing suit. There is another party tonight down in the spa."

When I turned back to her, she had a hopeful smile on her face and I didn't want to let her down. "Sure," I said. "I'll just go wait down in the shops until you get done."

I wandered down the stairs to the first sub floor feeling numb. I was sorry for how I had treated Adrian this morning, but now seeing him act as if he didn't care about me, as if I didn't exist, my heart felt crushed and there was no one to blame but myself.

I found the closest bench and sat down. I vaguely remember watching shoppers pass by as I relived last night in my head. The way Adrian looked at me, held me, kissed me. Then my mind skipped forward to this morning and breakfast.

I hadn't realized a tear had slid down my cheek until Eddie sat down next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders. I hastily wiped the tear away, but I knew he had seen it. "So, where are Jill and Adrian?" I asked trying not to sniffle.

"I left them back at the feeder's station. They're going to meet us down here. So, do you want to talk about it?" he asked in that same brotherly way that he always used with me.

Sighing, I said, "You don't have to do this, you know. You're not really my brother."

He pulled me closer to him so that my head was resting on his shoulder. "You're right. I'm not your brother, but I am your friend. Jill may have her suspicions about you and Adrian, but I've seen that there is more between the two of you."

I remained silent as I felt more tears roll down my cheeks. "Hey," he said softly reaching over and brushing away my tears. "What happened? Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head next to his shoulder. As calmly as I could I said, "No, I hurt him." I let out a muffled sob realizing the truth to my words. I had hurt him and I had hurt him badly. I could hear Eddie trying to sooth me as he put his other arm around me, but I just couldn't seem to stop crying.

I pulled away from Eddie realizing that Jill and Adrian would be meeting us soon. "I can't let him see me like this," I said to Eddie. Eddie was watching me through concerned eyes as I scrubbed at my face with my hands to wipe away the tears.

"Why not?" Eddie asked. "Maybe if he sees you like this, he will realize what an ass he is being."

"You don't understand," I pleaded with him. "It is all my fault. I hurt him. I have no right being upset when I…" I pushed him away like he was nothing, I thought, but there was no way I could say that to Eddie. No way I could tell Eddie how much I loved Adrian, how much I wished I could spend the rest of my life with him, because what was the point. It would never work out and after what I did to him, how could I even expect him to forgive me. I had just told him how lucky I was to have him, how much he drives me crazy, and then I pushed him away.

"Just tell Jill I wasn't feeling well and I went back to my room," I hurriedly said getting up.

"Oh no you don't," Eddie said grabbing my hand and pulling me back down. "I don't know what happened between you and Adrian, but you two are going to work it out. Now, I suggest that you pull yourself together and quick because they are coming our way."

I couldn't believe that Eddie was making me do this. As he stood up to go meet them he whispered towards me, "And don't make a run for it, because I will catch you and bring you back." I wiped at my face one last time to make sure there were no more tears and then I turned to follow Eddie.

"Hey Sydney," Jill said studying me. "Is everything okay? Your eyes look a little red."

I smiled at her and said, "Allergies." She gave me an odd look, but Eddie interrupted her before she could say anything else. "There is this new fighting gear over in the sporting goods store that I want to show you," he said to Jill taking her by the arm and leading her away. My gaze followed them as they left. I couldn't believe that he had abandoned me like that. Where was the brotherly love now?

Turning back towards Adrian, I noticed that he had already started walking away. "Wait," I called after him. His back tensed at my voice, but he didn't turn around. As a matter-of-fact, he did not even stop.

I followed after him. "Adrian, please," I said. I almost couldn't believe how much I sounded like I was begging him, but I was. Eddie was right. We needed to talk. I needed to tell him I was sorry, that I never meant to hurt him, that I loved him. He tensed further this time to my pleading words and stopped.

I stepped around him, so that we were facing each other. He wouldn't look at me, he just gazed out at the passing shoppers. "Adrian," I said again this time reaching out for his arm. He flinched away from my touch just as I used to do to him when we first met. I lowered my arm stiffly. Maybe there wasn't anything I could do to fix this. Maybe talking wouldn't help.

"I'm sorry," I said feebly.

His eyes focused on me in an icy glare. "You're sorry," he said coldly, "For what exactly. Are you sorry for pushing me away or are you really sorry you ever let yourself get so close to me?" I stepped back as if he had hit me.

Shifting his glare back into an arrogant smile he said, "Don't worry about it, Sage. It wasn't as if I believed that you really cared. How could you care anyway for an evil creature of the night like me?"

Glancing over towards a woman who was standing at the front of a nearby shop watching him, he smiled. Looking back at me he said, "It's been nice talking with you Sage, but I have places to go and people to meet who actually want my company." I was unable to find a response before he turned and walked towards the woman.

Putting his hand on her lower back, he leaned in and whispered something to her. She giggled while tossing her pale blonde hair over her shoulder and placed a hand on his chest. My own chest tightened with an ache that was almost unbearable. Knowing that I could not cry or plead with him the way that I wanted to right then, I decided to go find Eddie and Jill.

**I hated ending the chapter this way, but it seemed like a good stopping point. To try to make up for it I am posting the following chapter now as well, so please read on. :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**AN: Well, here is the next chapter, so that I don't leave you hanging too badly from the prior one. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Knowing that I could not cry or plead with him the way that I wanted to right then, I decided to go find Eddie and Jill._

Chapter 31

As I wandered down the aisles of the sporting goods store looking for them, I heard Jill's laughter coming from a few aisles over. When I rounded the corner I saw Jill holding a fighting stave with Eddie behind her, his hands placed over hers, trying to show her how to maneuver it. I didn't want to interrupt their seemingly intimate moment, but before I could retreat, Eddie turned and saw me.

"Hey," he said releasing Jill. Jill was still giggling from whatever they had been doing.

"Hey Sydney," Jill said all smiles.

"Hi…um…I didn't mean to interrupt. We can always look for a bathing suit another time," I said embarrassed from catching them and a little hurt by the fact that I would never get to have moments like that with Adrian.

"You're not interrupting," Jill said passing the stave to Eddie. "And we are so going to get you a bathing suit. I don't want you to miss out on the party tonight."

I tried for a smile that I hoped would be convincing considering I certainly did not feel like partying. "Okay. Well, where do you want to go looking for bathing suits?"

"I saw just the store when I was shopping for our secret Santa gifts," Jill said grabbing my hand and dragging me off to the clothing store a couple of doors down. Eddie shook his head at Jill's excitement and followed after us.

I stood in the fitting room anxiously waiting for Jill to come back with some suits for me to try on. She insisted on picking them out when she saw me eyeing some safe looking one pieces.

"I think I found the perfect one," Jill said passing a hanger over the top of the fitting room door. Much to my horror, it was a bikini that left very little to the imagination.

"Jill, I really don't think this is me?" I said as I held it out from my body.

"You haven't even tried it on yet," she said.

Sighing I looked back over the bikini. It was a pretty shade of purple and when I held it against my body, it did bring out my hair and eyes. Figuring that I was going to try to get out of going to the party tonight anyway, I tried it on.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I had to admit that the bikini did look nice on me. What seemed like not enough fabric on the hanger actually covered more of my body than I thought it would. Not only did the bikini fit nicely, but I also noticed that it was a size 2 and this helped raise my spirits regarding my body.

"Come on out and let us see," Jill said. Looking towards the door I debated on whether I should show her or not. I knew by the way that she said 'us' that Eddie would be waiting with her. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the dressing room averting my eyes as I stood there.

Jill squealed with delight. "It is perfect. Isn't it perfect guys?" I heard her say. My heart clenched in my chest to Jill's use of the word 'guys'. Looking up I noticed that not only Eddie was standing there, but also Adrian with that blonde from the store draped on his arm. Adrian's expression was blank as he looked at me.

I quickly looked away from him focusing on Jill. I could see Eddie watching me closely out of the corner of my eye. I'm sure he knew that things between Adrian and I were clearly not fixed considering his extra companion.

"You really think it looks good?" I asked Jill trying to keep my voice steady.

"It doesn't just look good. It looks great. Oh and here," she said passing me a matching sarong to wear with it. "Now all we need to do is get you some sandals. Oh and we need to go get pedicures." Jill seemed to be bouncing with excitement. When I looked back over at Eddie, I noticed that Adrian and the blonde had walked away.

After changing out of the bikini, I went with Jill to the register to check out. "Eddie, you don't mind if we have some girl time do you?" Jill asked pulling a cute puppy-eyed look.

Eddie smiled at her and I knew he wouldn't be able to resist anything she asked for, puppy-eyed look or not. "What's another day of watching you all get your hair and nails done," he said and then moving closer to her he added, "but you will owe me for it later." I didn't miss the flirtatious tone in his voice. Seeing Jill's eyes light up the way they did, I could tell that she hadn't missed it either.

It made me wonder about the time that they had been spending together. I hadn't been around much to see it, but watching them now it seemed like they must have been trying to give in a little bit to how they really felt about each other. Of course, thinking about them having an opportunity to get closer only made me realize how badly I had destroyed that opportunity for Adrian and me.

Flirting back, Jill said, "It's only nails, so I'll only owe you half as much." Flipping her hair as she turned away from him, she grabbed my arm and started moving us towards a salon.

Before reaching the salon, we passed by a display of sandals that caught Jill's eye. She quickly grabbed up a pair telling me how perfectly they would go with my new bikini and charged them to her room.

As we sat in our massage chairs getting our manicures and pedicures, I was reminded of the other time we had been pampered together. It was to celebrate my first volleyball victory. It was also the day that Adrian and I kissed in the gardens at Clarence's. I had pushed him away that time as well, causing a huge fight between us. Maybe we were just not destined to be together.

After getting our nails done, we met up with Angeline and Martin for lunch. "So, how was skiing?" Jill asked them brightly. Angeline started telling us about the expert jumps and how she had mastered them, while Martin sat beside her silently watching her in wonder. I could see what Eddie was talking about now and I thought that maybe someone should point out to Angeline how smitten Martin seemed to be with her.

As soon as lunch was finished, Angeline declared that she and Martin were going to go snowboarding. Jill reminded her about the party that evening before they left. I watched in wonder as Angeline left with Martin trailing behind her reaching for her hand. "So who is going to tell her about the boyfriend she doesn't seem to realize she has?" I asked looking back at Jill and Eddie.

"Not I," said Eddie shaking his head. Jill just laughed.

I spent the rest of the day milling around with Jill and Eddie. It was interesting to watch them together. He didn't hold her hand or try to put his arm around her, but he would do other things to get close to her, like brush a strand of her hair back from her face or teasingly poke her when he thought she was acting silly. They seemed so comfortable with each other and my heart ached missing that comfort that I had once had with Adrian.

At dinnertime, we met Sonya and Mikhail at a little café located on the second sub floor. As we sat, I noticed Sonya studying me. I was sure that she was watching my aura, but I wasn't really sure what it would show. I had been relatively happy spending time with Eddie and Jill. I had only brief moments of grief when I realized Adrian and I would never spend time like that together again.

"Where's Adrian?" Sonya asked. "I thought he would be joining us." Bringing up Adrian, of course brought up one of those moments of grief. Looking up at her, I could tell she saw the change in my aura to her question.

"I haven't seen him since we went bathing suit shopping," Jill said looking over at Eddie. It was as if she suddenly realized that he was missing. I couldn't blame her, she had been so wrapped up in her time with Eddie and she truly did deserve it.

"He said something about seeing us later at the party tonight before he left the store," Eddie said. He glanced over at me trying to gauge my mood.

"You know, I forgot to ask him. Who was that blonde he had with him?" Jill asked Eddie.

Before Eddie could answer I said, "You know, I'm not really that hungry right now. I think I'm just going to go lay down for a little bit." I could see the protest on Jill's face. "Don't worry, I will go to the party later. Just come and get me before you go." I quickly turned and left before anyone could stop me.

Back in my room, I laid out across the couch remembering how it had felt having Adrian lying on top of me, kissing me. I drifted off to sleep with those images in my head. My dream quickly changed, though, from being in Adrian's arms to having Adrian tell me that he never believed I cared for him. I jolted awake with tears running down my cheeks.

Glancing over at the clock, I noticed that it was getting close to the time of the party. I didn't want to go, but I wanted to sit around my room with the memories of Adrian even less. Heading off to the bathroom with the bag that held my bikini, I quickly took a shower and changed.

I stepped out of the bathroom just in time to hear Jill knocking on my door. "You ready to go?" she asked brightly when I answered it. She was wearing a cute little navy blue bikini and matching sarong. I couldn't help but notice how nice the color blue, no matter what shade, always looked on her.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I replied following her out of my room. Eddie came out of his room alone wearing his swimming trunks.

Where is Adrian?" Jill asked Eddie seeming a little sad from his lack of being around.

"He said to go on without him," Eddie said with a shrug.

"Fine," Jill replied with a pout. "Angeline already went down with Martin, so I guess we ought to head down too."

The spa was just the way I remembered it from when I had toured the resort with Adrian. The steaming pools of water looked so inviting. I followed Jill and Eddie over to one that was mostly empty with only a few other people in it besides Angeline and Martin. Jill and I discarded our sandals and sarongs on some chairs by the edge of the pool.

As I sunk down into the water, I couldn't help but feel the tension of the day start to recede. As I relaxed by the edge, I watched the interaction of everyone around me. There were groups of people standing around laughing. Others were in pools splashing each other. Waitresses walked by carrying trays of pink drinks. I also noticed some couples being rather openly affectionate. I tried not to stare, but couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be able to do that and not have to worry about what anyone thought.

Eddie grabbed two drinks off a tray as a waitress walked by and handed one to each of us. Jill smiled up at him as she took it. I took a sniff of the drink and it smelled pleasantly fruity. I looked over at Jill watching her take a sip of hers and noticed Eddie slip his arm discreetly around her.

"Come on Sydney. Give it a try," Jill said giggling at the suspicious look I had on my face as I continued to eye the drink.

"What is it?" I asked hesitantly.

"I don't know what it's called, but it is really good." I watched as Eddie shook his head to her response.

"It's some kind of cocktail," Eddie said. "I'll get you something else if you want me to." I could tell he did not want to push drinking alcohol on me and I appreciated his concern.

Angeline caught Jill's eye and Jill glided over in the water to talk to her. "Do you really think Jill should be drinking this?" I asked Eddie cautiously moving a little closer to him so that no one would hear me. "It's not like she's old enough."

"I don't think they are carding in here, Sydney," Eddie said with a slight laugh. "Don't worry. I'm keeping an eye on her. She only had a few last night. I stopped her before it got to be too many." I knew Eddie would take care of her, so I didn't know why I was so worried.

"Hey, I meant to ask you what happened with Adrian, but it never seemed like a good time," Eddie said seriously.

"I really don't want to talk about it," I said moving back from him as Jill glided back over to him. I could tell he wasn't ready to end the conversation, but I knew he wouldn't bring it up in front of Jill.

I excused myself from them saying that I was going to go exchange my pink cocktail for a bottle of water, which I had fully intended to do. That was up until I ran into that blonde who had been draped all over Adrian. She was standing with the Moroi who had propositioned me the other night on the dance floor.

"You're that girl who was trying on bikinis earlier with the princess, aren't you?" she said as she stepped into my path. Not wanting to speak and say something that I might regret, I just nodded.

"Is she here with you now?" she asked as she scanned around the spa. "I would love to meet her personally." Clearly, this blonde was someone who thought she could climb the social ranks if only she could make friends with the right people.

I didn't care for her attitude or maybe I just didn't care for her after seeing her with Adrian so I said, "You really shouldn't bother her. She wouldn't be seen talking to the likes of you anyway."

"Excuse me," she said loftily. "I don't know who you think you are, but your kind is lower than the dhampirs in my book." She said the word 'dhampirs' as if it was the most disgusting word in the world. I knew the look on my face had grown angrier. "Oh and if you see Lord Ivashkov, do be sure to tell him that I do not appreciate having to wait on him," she added as she flipped her hair back over her shoulder and walked away.

Fuming from my encounter I hastily stormed off into a nearby room and ran smack into Adrian. The pink liquid that I had been carrying splashed out and down the front of his chest as he instinctively reached out to steady me.

Realizing exactly whom he had been steadying, he pulled his hands back quickly. My eyes met his with an icy glare. I knew I had hurt him, but he had done nothing but toss it back at me and he wouldn't even give me an opportunity to explain myself.

My hurt and jealousy gave way to anger as I snapped, "Your blonde bimbo friend wanted me to inform you that she doesn't appreciate having to wait. If I were you I would hurry up and get in there before she finds someone more elite than you to turn her affections on."

As I pushed my way past him, he grabbed a hold of my arm. "Sage," he said, but I didn't let him say anymore. I cut a look towards his eyes and then down towards my arm. In the most vicious tone I could muster I said, "Get your hands off me and don't ever touch me again." Taken aback by my tone he released me and I moved on into an adjoining room where there were tables with hors d'oeuvres, flutes of the pink cocktail, and bottles of water.

As I wandered towards the drinks I looked back to see Adrian moving towards that blonde that I was learning to despise so much. Instead of grabbing the water, I grabbed a glass of the fruity pink liquid and downed it quickly.

Now, considering that I wasn't a drinker, as a matter-of-fact I had very little experience with alcohol, and the fact that I hadn't eaten since lunch, I should have known that picking up the second glass was a bad idea, but I did it anyway. I hastily downed this one as well as I continued to watch as Adrian seemed to shamelessly flirt with the blonde.

The anger that had risen seemed to bloom more as the alcohol started coursing through my veins. If I should have known the second drink was a mistake, I had absolutely no excuse for the third glass that I picked up. As a matter-of-fact I had to prop myself up against the drink table to steady myself enough to drink it.

I drank this one a little more slowly as the alcohol buzz continued to make my vision fuzzy. No matter how blurred my vision was, though, I was clearly able to see the blonde as she wrapped her arms around Adrian's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. The glass that I had been holding slipped from my hands shattering on the floor.

Almost immediately, a waitress was by my side asking if I was okay and bending down to clean up the glass. I didn't feel like I could focus anymore. My heart felt just as shattered as the glass on the floor. Slurring something that I hoped sounded like 'I'm fine', I tried my best to move away from the drink table and the mess that I had made.

My legs were shaking at best and several times I had to stop and steady myself with a nearby wall, but I soon managed to make it to the hallway that lead into the spa. Leaning against the wall, I slid down into a seated position. Pulling my knees to my chest, I laid my head against them. My head was spinning, my heart was aching, and I wasn't sure how I would ever make it back to my room.

It wasn't long before I felt that someone had sat down beside me. "Drink this," he said as he placed a water bottle in my hand. I slowly raised my head wincing from the light that now invaded my eyes and focused on the water bottle.

"I don't want to drink anything ever again," I tried to say, but I'm not sure how clear it was. I heard him chuckle softly beside me. "I bet you don't," he said, "but this will help." I took a couple swallows of the water not realizing how dry my mouth was until I had.

Passing me some kind of little sandwich he said, "You really need to eat something also. You haven't had anything since lunch." I looked over and focused on Eddie for the first time since he had come to sit with me.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked. I could see he was debating about his answer, but then decided just to tell me. "Adrian saw you stumble off. He was worried about you, but figured you wouldn't let him help you, so he came and got me."

"Adrian was worried about me," I said a little stunned from the thought, especially after I had seen the way he had been kissing that other Moroi. My head started to swim again and I placed it back on my knees.

"Listen, whatever happened between you two, it is clear that you both still care about each other," Eddie said.

With the alcohol in my system, I couldn't stop myself from what I said. "Care about him, I love him, but it doesn't matter, it will never matter," I mumbled into my knees.

"I want to go back to my room," I said making a pathetic attempt to get up. Eddie helped me prop myself up against the wall for support.

"Let me go back and get your sandals and let Jill know where I'm going," Eddie said as he eyed me to make sure I was steady enough to leave.

"I'm sorry," I slurred. "I didn't want to take you away from her, not when you guys are having so much fun together."

Eddie smiled shaking his head to the way I was talking. "Don't worry about it Sydney. I can hang out with Jill later."

I closed my eyes as I stood leaning against the wall waiting for him to come back. I felt him slip my sarong around my waist tying it and then slip my sandals on my feet. As I leaned into his chest, I couldn't help but smell the faint fruity scent of those pink cocktails.

Somewhat still fuzzy I said, "You smell fruity Eddie."

My body tensed in his arms as I heard him try to stifle a laugh. Looking up, my eyes were met with those beautiful emerald eyes that would forever be etched in my mind. I tried to push out of his embrace, but he held me firmly. "Let go of me," I said not very convincingly.

"Sage, please let me help you." His words were kind and his eyes held nothing but concern for me.

"Where's Eddie?" I said feebly trying to look around Adrian.

"He sent me to help you," Adrian said looking hurt by my continued resistance. How could Eddie do this to me? Once I had my head on straight again, I was seriously going to have a talk with him.

Giving up my feeble attempts at escaping I said, "Why would you want to help me? Don't you need to get back to whatever her name is?" He winced at my comment, but didn't take the opportunity to snap back. Instead, he started leading me towards the stairs.

Looking up at the stairs once we reached them, I began to have serious doubts about being able to climb them. Things were still spinning slightly and my head felt like it was up in the clouds. Adrian felt my hesitation and looked down at me.

I hated to admit it, but I looked towards Adrian and said, "I don't think I can make it." I was surprised by the serious look of concern on his face. I would have expected him to be teasing me about my stupid choices.

"Here," he pulled me closer. "Put your arms around my neck and close your eyes. It will help you from feeling dizzy." I felt him sweep my legs up in his arms as I did what he said. I squeezed my eyes closed tighter as I felt him carrying me up the stairs. It might have been romantic if it wasn't for the fact that I thought if I opened my eyes, I would end up getting motion sick.

As I felt him moving on level ground again, I relaxed my arms that had tightened instinctively around his neck. I hadn't realized how scared I had been of falling. Instead of setting me down, he continued to carry me. I didn't complain to this gesture. Keeping my eyes closed with my head against his chest, I wished that there would be some way to fix everything that had happened between us.

As he stopped, I looked up at him. As his eyes fixed on mine, he made no attempt to put me down. "Do you have your key?" he asked as he continued to gaze into my eyes.

I couldn't believe that I had forgotten it when I had left with Jill. "Um, no. I forgot to grab it when I left."

Still holding on to me he moved to his door and unlocked it. Carrying me towards his couch, he gently laid me down. It reminded me of the way he had laid me down on mine when we had been kissing. Before he moved his head back from mine, I brushed my lips against his cheek. His body froze next to me as his breath caught.

He pulled back from me before anything else could happen. The dizzying feeling of the alcohol was still in my system, but I felt a little clearer than I had downstairs. Focusing on Adrian, I couldn't tell what he was feeling as he stared down at me. I'm sure it was nothing like how I felt right then.

"Do you think you will be all right for a minute?" he asked. "I'm just going to go grab you something to eat and get a spare key for your room." Now I was sure he wasn't feeling what I felt right now. He was in entirely too big of a hurry to get rid of me to my own room.

Afraid I would say something stupid, since the alcohol seemed to be doing that to me, I simply nodded. As I watched him leave, I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Closing my eyes to the world, I drifted off to sleep.

**I feel like I'm leaving you hanging again, so I wanted to wait to post this until after I had the next chapter ready. Unfortunately, my computer got a nasty virus while I was writing this one and the horror of losing my work made me reconsider on waiting to post this. I promise to update as soon as possible with the next chapter, though. Please R & R. :)**


	32. Chapter 32

**AN: There are so many reasons why it has taken me so long to update, but I won't bore you with them. Sadly, whenever I did get a moment to sit down and write, I was unable to get in the right mood for the story. Hopefully this chapter will not disappoint. Thank you to all who are still following my story. I promise to have it finished before TGL comes out in June. With that being said, my story is nearing an end, but I'm not exactly sure how many more chapters. I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Afraid I would say something stupid, since the alcohol seemed to be doing that to me, I simply nodded. As I watched him leave, I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Closing my eyes to the world, I drifted off to sleep._

Chapter 32

"Sage! Sage!" I could hear his frantic words as my body was jostled.

"Hmm…what," I croaked out as I tried to clear the haze in my head. It was starting to pound and the constant motion was not helping it.

"Open your eyes, please," he said pleadingly as I felt him stroking my hair. As I started to crack my eyes open, all I could see were his gorgeous eyes staring back at me. I had to blink several times before I was able to keep my eyes open.

Once I was able to focus on more than just Adrian's eyes, I was able to see the worried expression on his face. "What's wrong?" I asked as I tried unsuccessfully to sit up. The pain in my head prohibited me from moving to fast.

I attempted to sit up a second time and this time Adrian put his arms around me to help. "You weren't supposed to fall asleep," he said his voice laced with concern. "I was worried that you had passed out and you weren't stirring when I tried to wake you up."

"I'm sorry," I said against him. He still had his arms wrapped around me as he sat next to me on the couch.

Stroking my hair back as he loosened his embrace he said, "Just don't do that again, okay?" I nodded in response, unsure of why he would care so much. Just because I had fallen asleep, did not mean that I didn't remember everything that had happened that day.

He seemed satisfied by my nod and let me go completely as he reached for a sandwich and bottle of water on the coffee table. "Here," he said as he passed them to me. "Eddie told me that it had been awhile since you had eaten."

Eyeing the food warily, I tried to decide if I would be able to keep anything down. Sensing my apprehension Adrian said, "Just eat a bite and see how it settles. You should be able to eat it slowly."

I took a bite, swallowed, and then leaned back against the couch praying that it would stay down. Adrian watched me cautiously. "It helps if you try not to think about getting sick," he said as he turned on the television. "Why don't we watch a movie?"

I just nodded in response again, afraid of what might come out or up if I opened my mouth. As Adrian flipped channels, I took the time to study him. His posture seemed tense, almost as if he was struggling with something. I was probably keeping him from that irritating blonde and he was worried that he might miss his chance with her.

I took another bite of the sandwich and a sip of water. After I was sure that they weren't going to come back up, I said to Adrian, "You don't have to take care of me. If you have the spare key, I can just go back to my room. I'm sure you need to go get back to whatever her name is anyway."

He looked over at me, studying me as if trying to figure out how to respond. I didn't give him a chance. "I saw the way you kissed her." He cringed at my statement.

"Sage," he started to say, but I cut him off.

"Seriously, it's no big deal," I tried to wave it off and mask the hurt in my voice. I doubted that I was doing a good job, but I didn't want to hear what he had to say. "Just give me my spare key and I will be on my way," I said as I got up from the couch.

That was probably the worst idea I had had next to having those drinks to begin with. I might have become steady sitting upright on the couch, but the quick motion of standing was more than I was ready for. Before I knew it, I was ungracefully staggering over. Adrian was there with his arms around me before I could fall over the coffee table.

"Slow down there," he said against my hair as he brought me back down to the couch. After the whole swirling effect of trying to stand, I started to feel the nausea rise from the two bites I had taken.

As I held my stomach, he leaned me against his chest soothingly running a hand along the length of my arm. "Just rest for now," he said. "You have plenty of time to be angry with me later." I closed my eyes trying to get my emotions under control. I wasn't angry, I was hurt. He was right though, now was not the best time to discuss it.

As I took some calming breaths, I felt my stomach start to relax. Looking down at his hand that had settled over the one on my stomach, I realized that we were still dressed in bathing suits. Being this close to him with such little clothing on caused my body to shiver.

"Are you cold?" he asked as he pulled me closer to him. Not wanting to admit that there was any other reason for my body's reaction I simply nodded.

"I could get you something to change into if you'd like," he said almost reluctantly.

"Adrian, I really think I should go. It is getting late anyway. If you would help me get to my room, I would appreciate it." When I looked up at him, I thought I saw a tinge of hurt in his eyes.

"I really don't think you should be alone right now," he countered. "What if you start to feel worse or need help getting to the bathroom?" The thought of him holding my hair back as I hugged a toilet did not sit well with me.

"I think I will be able to manage," I replied, but I wasn't really sure. I had never been drunk before and he was the one with the experience in this department.

"Please don't fight me on this Sage. I will stay on the couch, I promise. You won't even know I'm there." I highly doubted that that was true. There was no way that I could not know he was there, he would be all that I would be thinking about.

With great reluctance, I agreed to his terms. Once he had made sure that I was tucked into my bed, he went and laid down on the couch keeping his distance as he promised.

My dreams were filled with Adrian. One minute he was kissing that blonde. The next, he was carrying me to his room. Then, the dream would flip back to us fighting. Between all the tossing and turning that I was doing, I got very little sleep. When I woke up, the covers were tangled around me and my head was still throbbing.

As I tried to sit up in bed, I remembered that I wasn't alone. Adrian was lying on my couch, softly snoring in his swimming trunks. Looking down at myself, I realized that I was still wearing the bikini from the night before.

Slowly getting up from the bed, I quietly crept over to the couch. As I stood there watching Adrian sleep, I tried to remember how I could have ever treated him so badly. All he ever did was offer his love to me and I kept throwing it back in his face. He had every right to be mad at me and it hurt knowing that he would resume that attitude once he woke up.

Adrian started to stir while I stood there and I debated making a retreat to the bathroom, so that I wouldn't have to face him. Before I could make a decision, he slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey," he said drowsily clearly not awake enough to remember how angry he was at me.

"Hi," I replied with a sad smile.

"Are you feeling better?" His eyes never left mine and he looked so concerned. It hurt to know that it wouldn't last, not with him already moving on with other women. This is what I had wanted, right? To put distance between Adrian and me. I had no right to be hurt. It was for the best.

To my lack of response, he sat up and took my hand. "Are you okay?" he asked as he studied me. I was sure he was checking my aura. I wondered what he saw.

I quietly sat down next to him, keeping my hand in his. I was going to miss his touch. I tried to snap out of my thoughts. "I still have a headache, but other than that I'm fine," I finally said as I stared down at our hands.

With his free hand, he brushed a strand of hair back from my face. "Some aspirin should help with that. I could go get you some if you'd like?"

"That's okay. I should have some in the bathroom," I said glancing up at him. "I think I am going to go get a shower."

Adrian seemed to be waging a battle with what to say next. He finally said, "Okay, I think I will head to my room to get one as well." I hated to see him go, but it was for the best. Even if he had taken care of me, it didn't change what had happened between us yesterday. I simply nodded and headed off to the bathroom.

As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom from my shower, there was a knock at the door. I figured it would probably be Jill wanting to check up on me, so I went to the door in my robe.

When I opened the door, Adrian was standing there in jeans and a sweater with his hair still damp from a shower. Realizing that I was only wearing a robe, I pulled it tighter around me. Slightly embarrassed by my appearance I said, "I wasn't expecting it to be you."

He smiled slightly saying, "I figured as much. Jill, Angeline, and Eddie just headed down for breakfast. I told Jill that I would come get you."

I couldn't help myself when I asked, "Why?"

He looked a little hurt by my question, but not surprised. "I thought we could talk."

Unsure of what he would want to talk about, I moved back from the door so that he could enter. "Just let me go get dressed," I said softly. Grabbing some clothes, I headed for the bathroom. When I came out, I noticed that he had stepped out onto the balcony to wait while I got dressed.

As I went out onto the balcony, Adrian turned towards me. He looked gorgeous standing against a backdrop of forest. All I could think was that it would have been the perfect painting. Coming up to stand beside him, I looked out over at the view. It was a little cool out, but not too cold to enjoy.

I waited patiently for Adrian to say something. Finally, he said, "I'm sorry."

I looked towards him in surprise. He wasn't looking at me. He was staring out at the forest surrounding the resort. In shock, I asked, "For what?"

He turned towards me looking just as surprised as I had to his apology. "What do you mean 'for what'," he said. "I treated you horribly yesterday, Sage. I should have never acted like that."

"It was my fault," I simply replied.

"No, Sage. It wasn't," he said frustrated and turned back toward the forest. "I'm not going to lie. When you pushed me away, it hurt, but I saw the regret in your eyes after you did it. I could see it in your aura. You tried to apologize and I didn't let you. I didn't even give you a chance. Your initial reaction was out of instinct, but I have no excuse for mine."

I stood there silently, watching him beat himself up over what I had done. I felt the sting of tears, but before I could say anything, he continued. "Every time I saw your face after that, with tears in your eyes, it killed me. I knew that I was the one causing your pain and I couldn't seem to stop. I wanted to talk to you at the party, but when I saw how angry you had become at me, I wasn't sure there was anyway for me to fix it."

I thought back to how he had grabbed a hold of my arm to stop me from walking away in the spa, but then all I could see was him kissing that blonde. "But you kissed her," I said softly trying to keep the tears in.

As he turned toward me, I could see the pleading look in his eyes. "She kissed me. I swear it to you, Sage. I was going to tell her I wasn't interested and she kissed me. When I turned around you were gone." He breathed a sigh of frustration.

Looking back out towards the forest he said, "When I found you, you were staggering out towards the hall. I knew you wouldn't want to see me, so I went and got Eddie."

Even though I knew that it did, I still said to him, "Does it really matter who kissed who?"

Turning towards me, he pulled me close in an embrace gazing deeply into my eyes. "Yes," he answered.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "Why?"

He brushed the tear away gently with his thumb. "Because I love you." He leaned in cautiously towards my lips watching me the whole time to make sure that it was okay. My eyes slid closed in acceptance as he placed his lips against mine.

The kiss was gentle and brief. After he released my lips, I laid my head against his chest basking in the warmth of his embrace. "I love you too," I said against him. I couldn't see his face, but I knew he had heard me by the way his arms tightened slightly around me.

We stood in silence for a few more moments before my stomach very embarrassingly made itself known by releasing a loud rumble. I felt him chuckle against my head. Pulling out of the embrace and taking my hand he said, "I think it's time we go get you something to eat. It will probably help with your headache as well."

I couldn't help the smile on my face as we walked down to breakfast. I saw the occasional look that other Moroi gave us, but I decided I didn't care. I had already ruined this relationship once and I wasn't about to do it again. If Adrian didn't have a problem being with me, then why should I.

As we neared the table where Eddie, Jill, Angeline, and Martin were sitting, Adrian went to release my hand. I knew he was trying to be polite and respect any wishes that I might have for not showing anyone how we felt, but I didn't care anymore. I clasped his hand tighter, not letting him go.

He looked down at me questioningly when I wouldn't release his hand. With my free hand, I pulled him down to me brushing my lips against his. I smiled at Adrian as I saw the look of wonder on his face when I moved back.

As I turned towards the others, I could see the look of happiness on Jill's face from seeing us kiss. Eddie seemed pleased too that we had worked things out. Adrian politely pulled my chair out for me as we joined them for breakfast.

"So, do you guys want to go ice skating with us after breakfast?" Jill asked brightly looking towards Adrian and me. I felt a little embarrassed to have to admit that there was yet again one more thing that I had never done. I think Jill could tell from my lack of response.

"Come on, Sydney. It will be fun. I'm sure Adrian can show you how." As I glanced over towards Adrian, I could see how happy the idea of teaching me made him.

"Okay," I answered, "but I better not end up with anything broken." Angeline scoffed at my comment.

After we had finished breakfast, we headed outside to a frozen pond that was set up as an ice rink. There were many couples already out on the ice enjoying the morning. Adrian laced my skates up for me as I watched Jill and Eddie head out onto the ice together. She had her arm laced through his, smiling up warmly at him.

Angeline and Martin were already out on the ice and she was dragging him around by his hand as if they needed to speed skate around the rink. I had a feeling she was going to get bored with this activity quickly, seeing that it wasn't very strenuous for her.

As Adrian helped me stand with my skates, I almost felt as if ice skating was not going to be a problem. Of course, we weren't actually on the ice yet. As soon as my feet touched the ice, they shot out from under me and I had to grab onto Adrian so as not to fall down.

He laughed as he pulled me back to a standing position and put his arms around me until I seemed steady. "Are you ready?" he asked smiling down at me.

"I think so," I said unsure.

Taking my hand, he started drifting out further on the ice, pulling me along. My arm was stiff, gripping his hand tightly and I was afraid to move my legs too much for fear that they would slide out from underneath me again.

"Just relax," he said looking down at the death grip I had on his hand. I tried to, but my feet started slipping again and I instinctively reached out to him with my other hand as well, trying to grab any part of him that might steady me. He quickly turned, wrapping his arms around me so I wouldn't fall.

"I'm not sure I can do this," I said embarrassed.

"Now I couldn't have possibly heard you right," he said with a smirk. "Did I just hear Sydney Sage admit that there was something she can't do?" Adrian knew just how to push my buttons.

Brushing the embarrassment away, I pushed back from him attempting to stand on my own. After wobbling a few times, as I held my arms out trying to maintain my balance, I felt confident that I wouldn't fall over. I watched the other skaters' movements around me. The way their legs and feet moved and their posture during the movements. Very slowly, I started to move forward mimicking what I saw.

As I moved slowly along the ice, Adrian skated beside me keeping his hands to himself. When I started to lose my balance I saw him move to catch me, but I quickly said, "No, don't." Adjusting my posture, I was able to stop myself from falling.

As I stood there proud of myself for not falling, I looked over to see Adrian smiling with pride as well. He came closer putting his arms around my waist and I didn't stop him this time. "Now that is the Sage that I know," he murmured against my lips before kissing me.

As he pulled back, I couldn't help but notice how his eyes sparkled under the moonlight. He was so gorgeous and I felt so lucky to have him. I made a promise to myself not to let another moment of this trip go by where I didn't let him know how much he meant to me.

Placing one arm around my waist with the other holding my hand, he guided me around the ice. As I got the hang of the movements better, we were able to keep up with the flow of the other skaters as they circled the ice.

I hadn't realized how much time had passed until Angeline came over grumbling about wanting to get lunch and moving on to an activity that was more suiting to her tastes. As we headed off for lunch, I couldn't help but smile realizing that all of us had seemed to find a little romance on this trip. Growing up, I never worried about stuff like relationships, but now that I had had a taste of it, I couldn't imagine not having someone to care about in that way.

After we ate, Angeline declared that it was time to go skiing, since we were at a ski resort after all. Eddie seemed to roll his eyes to her comment, but agreed nonetheless to her choice in activity. I still wasn't ready to risk my life on the slopes, so Adrian and I gracefully bowed out.

Once we were alone at the table, I turned to Adrian, "So what do you want to do now?"

Adrian smiled a mischievous grin. "I have just the thing."

**Please R & R. Your comments are always appreciated. :) **


	33. Chapter 33

**AN: I'm trying to update my story as quickly as possible since I seem to be on a roll at the moment. There will be some Sydrian goodness in this chapter and the next, but I feel that I have kept it at a "T" level. As always, I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

_Adrian smiled a mischievous grin. "I have just the thing."_

Chapter 33

Adrian offered me his arm and we headed off towards an area that I hadn't been to yet. I could hear the sound of beeps and buzzers going off as we got closer. Then I noticed the kids that seemed to be running towards the area.

"Where are we going?" I asked giving Adrian a questioning look.

"You'll see," he said with a grin.

As we walked into the room, I was surprised to see that it was an arcade he had taken me to. Several kids were running around chasing each other and squealing. Other kids were lined up at different game machines while lights flashed and pings sounded.

He took my hand walking over to a change machine and grabbed a cup from on top of the machine. Adrian put a fifty-dollar bill in the slot and quarters came pouring out into the cup.

I looked at him, surprised by how many quarters he was getting. "Are you sure we need that many?"

Smiling at my reaction he said, "Don't worry. We will probably end up needing more than this once we get started. Arcades can be very addicting, kind of like gambling." I wasn't sure I liked the association between the two.

Knowing that I had never been to an arcade before, Adrian showed me the different types of games. I was still hesitant to try anything. "Which one do you like?" I asked.

"Well, my favorite is skeeball," he said pointing over to where those machines were located. We wandered over there and watched as some kids were playing on a couple of the machines. The whole wall was lined with them, so there were plenty that were empty.

It didn't look too hard to do, so I said, "Okay, I'll try that." Adrian's eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store as he picked out two machines together that were far enough away from everyone else, but not right up against the wall.

He put a quarter in each of our machines and then pushed the buttons to release the balls. After he gave me a short lesson and showed me how to toss the ball, we both seemed to go into our own worlds tossing balls until they were gone. He won the first round, but I wasn't ready to give up. Grabbing a quarter from the cup, I started my machine again. He laughed at my eagerness, but did the same.

It was amazing how right he was about arcades being addicting. We ended up playing skeeball until our arms hurt. Then we moved on to an air hockey table. After that came the pinball machines. Lastly, we played some car racing games. I could not believe how much fun I was having.

As I beat him again on the Fast and Furious race game, he looked over at me and said, "See, I told you we would probably need more." I hadn't even realized until now that the cup of quarters was empty.

I smiled at him, shaking my head as he offered to go get more change. "I'm having enough trouble with the fact that we just spent fifty dollars in here, why don't we find something less costly to do?"

He smiled at me and glanced over at the clock. "Well, it is almost time for dinner. We could always go find everyone else and head to that."

Deciding it was my turn to surprise him with something I said, "How about we don't do dinner with everyone else? I saw a little café located on one of the balconies. We could have dinner, just the two of us?"

Pulling me towards him he said, "That sounds like an excellent idea, Sage." Then he pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. I couldn't help it when I blushed, but I didn't shy away. He put his arm around me as we walked to the café that I had been talking about.

Dinner was perfect except for the fact that the balcony wasn't enclosed and by the end of the dinner, the wind had picked up a little. When the waiter came around to take our order for dessert, Adrian had the waiter send the dessert up to my room. I gave him a questioning look as the waiter walked away.

Adrian came around to my seat and offered me his hand. "I think it is getting a little chilly out here and personally I would rather be able to enjoy my dessert instead of shivering."

I smiled at him as I stood and jokingly said, "And your idea of enjoying your dessert is by eating it in my room."

"I didn't think you would mind," he smiled slyly. "Besides, I have an idea of how we could warm up." I wasn't sure exactly what he had in mind, but I couldn't stop the images that began to form in my head. I felt my body heat in response and knew that I was blushing again.

Putting his arm around me, we walked back to my room. Once there he said, "I will be right back." As I sat on the couch wondering what he had in mind and waiting for his return, I heard a knock at my door. It was a waiter carrying two slices of cheesecake drizzled with raspberry sauce. As I took the plates, Adrian walked up behind him. Handing the waiter a tip, he came into my room and shut the door.

"So what were you doing?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Just getting these," he said bringing his swimming trunks out from behind his back. I couldn't help the confused look that crossed my face.

"I thought you had an idea on a way to get warm. How is that going to help?" I asked gesturing towards them.

He smiled secretively. "I'll show you. Now go put your bathing suit on." I was still baffled by his actions, but I went to the bathroom anyway to change. When I came out, I noticed that he was no longer in the room and the balcony door was open. The breeze was still light, but it was now blowing into the room and making the room chilly. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me.

"Adrian?" I called, looking out the balcony door. Now I knew what he had had in mind. There he was sitting in the hot tub that was placed in the corner of the balcony. I smiled at him shaking my head. "Only you would think sitting out in the cold, would be a good way to warm up."

"Come on Sage, you haven't even tried it yet," he coaxed. I watched as the steam rose around him out of the tub and the bubbles danced across the surface. He had placed two bottles of water and the slices of cheesecake by the edge.

Still leery about the idea, I hesitantly walked towards the tub. "I promise, once you get in you won't even remember that you were cold," he said seductively. I didn't know how to tell him that it wasn't just the cold that I was hesitant about, it was about being like this with him.

I knew I was being ridiculous. It wasn't as if we had never been this close before and we even had been in this little clothing together before. It was the combination of the two that made me nervous, except that I wasn't nervous in a bad way. I was nervous in an excited way. Adrian made me feel things that I never thought I would feel for anyone.

Pulling my self together, I let the towel slide to the ground around me. Adrian leaned up taking my hand to help me into the tub. His eyes stayed on mine the whole time, as I sank into the tub. The hot water felt great against my skin instantly warming me.

The two seats of the tub were side by side and faced out, so that you could look out onto the gorgeous view of the forest. As I relaxed next to him, he handed me my slice of cheesecake. We ate in silence and just enjoyed the view.

When I finished, I turned reaching across him to set the plate on the edge of the tub. As my body brushed against his, he put his arm around my waist. "So, was I right about this being a good place to warm up," he said in a voice filled with desire.

I couldn't help myself as I ran my hand along his neck. "Yes," I said breathlessly. Running his other hand through my hair, he pulled me towards him. Our lips met in a passionate tangle as we seemed to battle for dominance. My body was on fire as he pulled me towards him and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

He broke away from my lips and started placing kisses down my neck. I turned my head giving him better access as he licked his way down my collarbone. I couldn't help the soft sighs that escaped my mouth. His kisses stopped at the edge of my top. I knew he was being careful not to do anything that I wasn't ready for.

As I looked back into his lust filled eyes, I ran my hands through his hair and pulled him towards me. As I kissed him, I pressed my body closer to his unable to get enough of his touch. I kissed my way down his neck and across his collarbone as he clutched at my body letting out a low moan.

I could feel him hard, pressed against me and images of other things we could be doing drifted through my head. My mind started rejecting the images, but my body heated with eagerness. Even as I waged my inner battle, he never tried anything more than the kissing that we had been doing.

After we had kissed for a while, he moved me off him and pulled me into an embrace at his side. I laid my head against the crook of his neck as he gently stroked my back. I ran my hand along the top of the water playing with the bubbles as I listened to his breathing relax.

I had a feeling he had moved me off him, so that he could get his desires under control. He always amazed me at how gentle he was with me, never pushing for more. The thing was I was beginning to think that I wanted more. I just wasn't sure how exactly to go about getting it.

Eventually as we relaxed in the tub, the sun started to rise. "I think it might be time for us to go in," he murmured against my hair.

Sighing as I sat up out of his embrace I said, "You're probably right."

Placing his hand on my cheek as he brushed my hair back he smiled. "You don't have to sound so sad. I mean, I'm glad you don't want this to end, but it's not like we won't be able to do this again if you want."

I smiled at him and placed a soft kiss against his lips. "You promise?" I felt childish asking, but I had to know.

"Promise," he said against my lips as he placed another gentle kiss on them.

After Adrian climbed out of the tub, he took my hand and helped me out. Then, grabbing a fresh towel he had sitting on one of the chairs, he wrapped it around my body. Taking a towel for himself, he quickly dried himself off and wrapped it around his waist.

As I walked back into the room, Adrian followed carrying in our dishes and water bottles. "Room service will pick them up tomorrow," he said as he placed them on the coffee table. He picked up his clothes that he had discarded on the floor by the couch as I walked him to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said. Before leaving, he kissed me one last time.

After he left, I went to the bathroom and changed into a tank top and pajama bottoms. As I laid in bed, all I could think about was Adrian. The way he touched me, kissed me. I drifted off to sleep replaying his promise to me over and over again in my head.

Over the next few days, Adrian kept his promise.

We spent our days exploring new activities around the resort. We even found a billiards room where I got a chance to show off what I remembered from Clarence's. Adrian also finally got me out on the bunny slope. Granted I only went down the hill once, I did do it at least.

Our nights were spent together cuddled up on my couch making out. It felt like we were a couple of hormonal teenagers and I guess in a way we weren't that far off from the description. As usual, Adrian was always a gentleman and nothing more than kissing ever occurred.

It was finally the morning of our last full day at the resort. With this possibly being my last chance to have more with Adrian, I decided I was going to figure out a way to take advantage of it.

Today was also New Years Eve. Technically, half way through our day would be the start of the New Year since we were on Moroi time, so that meant there would be fireworks around lunchtime.

Everyone had agreed to spend lunch together to enjoy the fireworks, so I figured that I only had the morning to figure out what I was going to do before the evening came. It was hard to keep the images of Adrian out of my mind as I showered and got dressed for the day. Our evenings together were all I ever thought about when I was alone.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the knock at my door. I figured it would be Adrian when I went to answer it, but I found Jill at my door instead. She smiled shyly at me as I looked at her. "Um, I told everyone to got down to breakfast and that I would get you," she said timidly.

"Is everything okay?" I asked not sure why she was acting the way that she was.

She hesitated before she answered. "I kind of wanted to talk to you without everyone."

"Okay," I said slowly. I noticed that she was blushing. "Do you want to come in?" She nodded.

After we were seated on the couch, Jill started to fidget with the charm bracelet that Eddie had given her. "So, what do you want to talk about?" I asked eyeing her.

I saw her blush again. "Well, Eddie and I have been spending a lot of time together," she started. "And…well…we have been getting kind of close." She continued to stare down at her wrist.

I remained silent waiting for her to collect her thoughts. She took a deep breath as if to prepare herself. "Okay. I'll just spit it out. I've been thinking about having sex with him and I wanted to know if you would buy the condoms for me."

Stunned, I just sat there staring at her. She finally looked up at me realizing that I hadn't responded. I could see the embarrassment on her face for having to ask.

"I'm sorry Sydney. I know this is really awkward and I cannot even believe I am talking to you about this. It's just that I really do think of you as like a sister and I just needed someone." Her words came out in a rush.

Pulling myself together, I fumbled for something to say. I never in a million years thought I would be having this kind of conversation with anyone, much less her. I think the oddest part about this whole situation had to be that I had been thinking about doing the same thing. Maybe I should attempt to open up to her as well.

I figured it couldn't hurt. I knew I cared for her as if she were a sister too and, well, these were the types of things sisters talked about. "Um…Jill it's…okay, it is awkward, but I'm glad that you felt you could come to me." I tried for a smile. "And actually…um…I've kind of been thinking about the same thing with Adrian." I knew that my cheeks were pink, but I tried to stay confident and not turn away.

"Really?" she asked looking a little less embarrassed.

"Yeah, really. I was actually trying to figure out how I was going to accomplish that great feat before the night was up," I said bashfully.

Jill smiled slightly and said, "I can't believe we are having this conversation."

"You and me both," I laughed.

"So, just between us," I said hesitantly, "how exactly do you seduce a boy?"

Jill giggled. "I have a feeling that that is the easy part. It's convincing them that it is okay, that is going to be the hard part."

"I know," I sighed. "Adrian is definitely interested, but he is just too damned gentlemanly to do anything about it."

"Same here with Eddie," Jill sighed. "Maybe we just need to put ourselves out there better. You know, buy some lingerie or something."

"That's not a bad idea," I said as my Alchemist instincts for planning started kicking in. I wonder what the Alchemists would think if they knew I was using what I had been taught to plan the seduction of a vampire.

"How about we go out after breakfast and do that?" I said. "We could tell the guys that we want to spend a little last minute girl time together since we will be leaving tomorrow. With the way that we really haven't been spending time together, it wouldn't be suspicious. We should have enough time before lunch to get what we need and get it back to our rooms. They won't have a clue that anything is up until tonight when we spring it on them."

Jill lit up to the idea. "Okay. I can't believe we are really going to do this," she said giddily and hugged me.

"What are sisters for?" I said as I hugged her back unable to contain my excitement as well.

**Okay, so I'm figuring that I probably got a little OOC with Sydney during her discussion with Jill. To be honest though, I'm not sure how to write Sydney and Adrian "together" without it sounded a little OOC, so please bear with me. As always, R & R to let me know what you think. :)**


	34. Chapter 34

**AN: Well, here is my next chapter with more Sydrian goodness. As I said before, I feel that I have kept this at a "T" level as far as the romance is concerned, but I am pre-warning everyone that there is sex in this chapter. As always, I do not own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or the characters, Richelle Mead does.**

"_What are sisters for?" I said as I hugged her back unable to contain my excitement as well._

Chapter 34

As Jill and I sat around the breakfast table with everyone, we started to put our plan into motion. Giving Eddie her famous puppy-eyed look, Jill said, "You don't mind if me, Angeline, and Sydney have some girl time before the New Year's celebration, do you?"

I had to look away to keep the smirk off my face from the way Eddie melted to Jill's request. "Of course not," he said sweetly. "So, do I have to endure more hair and nails?"

Jill was prepared for him to think that he was coming and replied, "Not this time. I just want it to be just us girls."

Eddie started to get protective. "I know we're in a really secure resort and all, but I don't think it is a good idea for you to go around without a guardian."

"But I am going with a guardian," Jill said putting on a pouting face. "Angeline will be there." I watched Angeline as Jill spoke. I knew she wouldn't want to do girlie stuff, but she remained silent watching the situation unfold.

"I know she is a guardian, but I would still feel better if I was there," he said and that was all it took to drag Angeline onto our side.

"You don't think I can protect her," Angeline scoffed at Eddie. I knew that it wouldn't matter what kind of girlie stuff we had planned, there would be no way that Angeline would let Eddie go in her place. It was a matter of pride.

"I didn't say that," he said.

"Well, then there shouldn't be a problem if I go with her and you don't," Angeline said, holding his gaze as if daring him to argue.

So far, Adrian and Martin had been silent just watching the conversation, but then Adrian stepped in and said to Eddie, "I think if I were you, I would let this one go."

Shaking his head slightly, Eddie looked back over at Jill. She still wore a pouting look on her face. Sighing, he conceded defeat. "Fine." Jill squealed with delight and gave him a quick hug that seemed to lift his spirits.

Again, I had to look away, so that no one would notice the smile on my lips. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adrian studying me. Leaning towards me, he whispered, "I'm not sure what you guys are up to, but your auras show that you are up to no good."

I looked over at him, smiling sweetly and whispered, "It's just some girl time. What could be so bad about that?"

Before he could answer, Jill jumped up. "Come on girls, let's get this show on the road." Coming around the table, she grabbed a hold of Angeline and me. Now, as long as Angeline kept her mouth shut about what we were really up to, everything was going to work out perfectly.

As we walked towards the stairs going down to the sub floors, Angeline asked, "So, what unbearable girlie activities do you have in mind?" I couldn't help but chuckle at her question.

"Just some shopping," Jill replied casually.

Now it was Angeline's turn to laugh. "I wasn't born yesterday. If it was just some shopping, you would have let Eddie come with you."

"Okay. Well, maybe it's not something we would want to shop for with him," I offered.

Narrowing her eyes as we walked past some shops, she said, "So, what exactly are we shopping for then? I had a feeling you two were up to something when you started this whole 'girl time' thing, but it better not be anything that is going to get me in trouble."

"It's not," I said rolling my eyes. "We just have some personal items we would like to buy without the boys present."

"And dresses," Jill added. I looked over at her questioningly. That had not been part of our plan.

"I just had an idea of how we could…um…conceal what we wanted to get until later," she said blushing.

Nodding, I realized what she meant. It would definitely be easier to buy lingerie that would go under a dress, than something we would have to change into later from our jeans.

Angeline watched our exchange suspiciously. "No one told me this was a formal luncheon. I thought we were just having lunch in Sonya and Mikhail's suite and then watching the fireworks on their balcony."

"We are," Jill replied, "but it is still a holiday, so it wouldn't hurt if we dressed up a little."

"Whatever," Angeline said as she shook her head.

Jill walked us down to a very exclusive looking women's clothing store that had everything you would need for a wardrobe. As soon as the sales women descended on us, Jill explained that we each needed a complete ensemble for a casual luncheon from undergarments, to dresses and shoes. Surprisingly, the request didn't even faze them. It apparently was common for Moroi women to request such things.

As we were each whisked away by our own personal sales woman, I saw Jill give me a wink over her shoulder. Jill and I had already talked about getting something lacy or silky to wear for later, so I was already prepared to request that type of lingerie when asked.

After a little while, I had been fitted with a black lace chemise and thong under a black dress with a large floral rose print. The dress was a satiny flowing fabric that came to just above the knee. To finish it off, the sales woman insisted that I needed strappy two-inch heels.

Jill ended up in a sky blue tiered dress that came to just above her knee as well. She had cute little matching ballet flats to go with it. I could tell from the satisfied look on her face that she had probably been successful in acquiring the lingerie that she had wanted for later.

When Angeline appeared from the fitting room, my eyes widened in shock. She was wearing a full-length close fitting silky dress in a light yellow and pale purple watercolor print. She also had on heels.

Noticing the looks that Jill and I were giving her, she simply shrugged and walked over to a mirror to admire herself. When we continued to watch her, she turned and bluntly asked, "What?"

Jill was first to recover her voice. "You look really nice," she said trying to hide her surprise.

Looking back in the mirror at herself Angeline said, "I'm not as oblivious as you may think. I get the fact that Martin is more than just a friend and if I have to wear a dress I might as well try to look nice doing it."

Turning back to us she added, "So, are we ready to go?"

"Almost," Jill said just as surprised by Angeline's response as I was. Turning towards the sales women she said, "Do you think we could get mini makeovers from your cosmetics department?" The women began tripping over themselves to accommodate Jill.

Once our makeovers were complete, we had our old clothes sent up to our rooms and left the store in our newly purchased dresses. Our girl time had taken a good bit of the morning and it was almost time to head to Sonya and Mikhail's.

As we walked towards the stairs we came to a little convenience type store. Stopping Jill and Angeline, I said, "Let me just run in here to grab something and I will be right back." Jill nodded knowing what I was going in for and silently stood with Angeline outside of the store as I went in.

I moved down the aisles until I found the birth control section. As I looked over all of the choices, I started to blush realizing that I had no idea what I should be buying. There were so many choices. It must have taken me a while, because before I knew it Angeline had come to find me.

"What are you doing?" she asked rather loudly. My cheeks heated more as she noticed what I was staring at on the shelf. "Oh for goodness sakes," she said exasperatedly. Reaching across me, she grabbed a box of condoms at random and went to the register.

I followed behind her discreetly as she put them on the counter and paid for them. The cashier eyed Angeline with a look of contempt, but rang the purchase up without a word.

Back outside with Jill, Angeline turned thrusting the bag out at us. "Is this what all of this has been about?" she asked annoyed.

Blushing, Jill stammered, "Part of it, yes. It's not as if I can exactly go in there and buy them being a princess and all." Turning towards me she asked, "What happened?"

It was my turn to blush. "I don't know. There were just so many choices and I guess I just…" I shrugged, not sure how to finish my statement. Looking at Angeline I asked, "Didn't it bother you to do that?"

Angeline had a humorous smile on her face. "It's not the first time I've had to buy something like that for someone. I did come from a pretty big family and believe it or not, not all Keepers want to have kids."

"But, the way that cashier looked at you," I stammered.

"Yeah, so. He probably thinks I'm just another blood whore. Do you really think I care what people think about me?" It was definitely a rhetorical question, so I took the bag from her.

Turning from us Angeline said, "I'm going to head to Sonya's now. If I were you, I would hurry up, hide those wherever you planned to, and get up there as well. I'm sure you won't have long before Eddie comes looking for you when he realizes I left you alone." We watched as she walked away.

Glancing at Jill, we decided to quickly make our way up to the rooms. Luckily, we didn't run into anyone on the way, considering we were all meeting just a few doors down in Sonya and Mikhail's suite.

Dashing into her room, Jill grabbed a small cream-colored clutch that would match her dress. Then, once inside my suite, we opened the box of condoms. I figured that anything that would happen between Adrian and me would happen in my room, so I took my half of the box and put it in the drawer of the bedside table. Since Jill would most likely end up in Eddie's room, she figured that she would need to keep her half of the box on her, so she stashed them in her clutch.

Just as I had disposed of the box in the trash in my bathroom, someone knocked at my door. Jill and I shared a glance figuring that it was the guys looking for us.

When I answered the door, Eddie was standing there with Adrian beside him. Both of them were nicely dressed. Eddie was in khakis and a striped polo. Adrian wore black slacks and a burgundy button down shirt similar to the one that he had worn when I had taken him out job-hunting months ago.

"Angeline came back without you guys, so we were hoping we would find you here," Eddie said to us, but his eyes were only on Jill. She smiled slightly at him.

I realized that Adrian had been checking me out while I was busy looking over what he was wearing. As his eyes made their way back up to mine he said, "You guys ready to go?"

Remembering to grab my key this time, I replied, "Yes," and ushered everyone out of my suite.

Over in Sonya and Mikhail's suite there were trays of sandwiches, fruits, and veggies for us to dine on. Sonya and Mikhail kept casual conversation up asking about all of the activities that we had been enjoying. We really had not seen much of them on the trip, but I was sure it was because they were trying to have some time alone together to enjoy their engagement.

Just as the clock was about to strike midnight, or noon for us, we filed out onto the balcony. You could hear the noise of other guests out on the surrounding balconies of the resort waiting for the fireworks to start as well.

Adrian pulled me off to the side, wrapping his arms around my waist. You could hear the echoes of people counting down the New Year from ten. Gazing into his gorgeous eyes, I smiled. "You look simply beautiful," he said as he leaned closer to me.

"You're not so bad yourself," I said as his lips came closer.

As soon as the countdown reached one, Adrian whispered, "Happy New Year," and then gently pressed his lips to mine. Running my fingers through his hair, I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

As we broke apart, I seductively said, "Happy New Year to you too." I could tell he was surprised by the way that I had kissed him, but he just grinned down at me.

Turning in his embrace, so that my back was pressed against his chest we watched the fireworks erupt into the sky. Glancing over, I watched as everyone else seemed to be enjoying the fireworks as well.

Once the fireworks were finished, we could hear loud music of various kinds coming from several balconies. Looking over at everyone, Jill said, "Why don't we go dancing? I heard that one of the lounges was going to be set up for it."

Glancing at Mikhail, Sonya said wistfully, "That sounds lovely. We haven't been dancing in forever." Mikhail gave Sonya a sweet kiss on her cheek in response. Unanimously, we decided to head down to the lounge.

As we entered the lounge, I took in my surroundings. The lighting was dimmed with several laser lights casting various colors across the room. The dance floor was packed with people dancing to club type music. I had been to clubs before, but I'd never actually gone out on the dance floor.

Everyone else immediately moved into the crowd of dancers, but I hung back with Adrian feeling a little leery. This wasn't just a club of human dancers. This was a dance floor filled with vampires that were packed-in extremely close.

Leaning down to my ear, so that I would be able to hear him, Adrian asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?" I could tell that he knew I was uncomfortable with the crowded room, but I rather liked the idea of being able to dance closely with Adrian in a provocative way.

He had kept his face beside mine after he spoke, so I turned to his ear and said, "Maybe we could just stand back for a little bit and watch." I thought if I stalled long enough, I might get up the courage to go out on the dance floor.

Pulling me off to the side, Adrian wrapped his arms around me holding me against his chest. I tried to relax, breathing in his scent and watching the dancers move around us. As I watched the way the others danced, I held Adrian closer wishing I had been brave enough to do that with him.

Eventually, a slower song came on and I could feel Adrian swaying us gently to the music. He took his hand cupping my chin to lift my face to his. When his lips met mine, I could almost taste his desire. I had a feeling that he was just as interested in going out on the dance floor and dancing up against me as I was. Tilting my head back more, he deepened the kiss and for a moment, I almost forgot we were in public.

I pulled away from the kiss, breathing heavy. "Let's get out of here," I said roughly.

He was looking at me with lust-filled eyes. "Dinner?" he asked huskily.

I simply said, "Room service," and grabbed his hand dragging him towards the exit. He didn't argue, just merely let me lead him away.

As we made our way back to my room, I wasn't sure we could get there fast enough. Every time we looked at each other, our lips seemed to have to meet. By the time we shut the door behind us, Adrian had crashed his lips against mine again.

As Adrian tried to make our way to the couch while he ravaged my lips, I mumbled, "The bed," against them. That got his attention as he pulled back from my lips with his eyes widening. "Sage," he said raggedly. Trying not to lose my nerve, I grabbed his hand and pulled him past the couch and towards the bed.

Standing by the bed, I slowly unbuttoned his shirt as he watched me through hungry eyes. Once I had slid his shirt to the floor, I moved closer placing soft kisses along his chest. With one arm around my waist and the other hand tangled in my hair, he tipped my face up to his and kissed me passionately.

While our tongues danced, I slid my hands to the waist of his slacks and traced my fingers along the edge. I could feel him gasp in my mouth from the way I was touching him. His reaction gave me the confidence I needed to start unbuttoning his pants.

He broke away from my lips and I was afraid for a second that he would stop me, but he didn't. He kicked his shoes off moving closer to me as he ran a finger along my cheek and down my neck. I shivered at his touch, but kept my eyes locked on his.

Once his pants had slid to the floor, he kicked them off as well. My eyes drifted down to the black silk boxers he was wearing. I decided that I ought to even the playing field. Bending down slightly, I slipped my heels off. As I stood back up, I reached behind my back to pull my zipper down.

Adrian took hold of my hand, stopping me and moved it back to his waist. Pulling me closer to him, he started placing kisses against my neck. "Allow me," I heard him say against my skin as my body shivered under his touch.

I felt his hands move to my back, slowly unzipping my dress. He continued to place kisses down my neck and along my shoulder nudging the edge of the dress off as he went, until it slipped to the floor.

Pulling back from me, his eyes grazed over the black lace chemise that was just barely long enough to cover the matching thong. With a sexy smile he said, "Was someone planning to seduce me tonight?"

I felt my cheeks heat with a blush as I turned away saying, "Maybe."

Cupping my cheek, he turned me back to him. I could see the thrill of passion in his eyes as he brought his lips to mine again. Pulling me tight against him as his mouth hungrily moved against mine, I could feel him gripping the lace of the chemise. My nails dug into his back as I tried to press myself closer to him needing more.

I could feel his hands slide under the lace, moving against my skin. Frustrated with the barriers between us, I slipped from his embrace and lifted the chemise up and over my head, tossing it aside.

Adrian stood there for a moment, his eyes wandering over my body. "You are so beautiful," he breathed as he pulled me back towards him. Picking me up in his arms, he gently laid me down on the bed. Lying down beside me, he continued kissing me as his hands roamed over my body. The only barriers left between us were his boxers and my thong. Everywhere our skin touched, my body warmed in response.

We had to break the kiss eventually to come up for air, but he kept his face close with his forehead pressed to mine. Gazing deep into his gorgeous emerald eyes, I whispered, "Make love to me."

He moved back further from me, gazing down at my body. I could see that he wanted me, but I knew that he was battling with doing the right thing. I reached over towards my bedside table getting a condom out of the drawer. I watched his eyes follow my movements and darken with desire when he saw what I had retrieved.

Pulling him back down to me, I placed the wrapper in his hand as I kissed along his neck and collarbone. Coming back to his lips, I brushed mine against them and said, "Please."

He didn't seem to need anymore encouragement as his lips crashed to mine and his hands slid down my body. As he slowly removed my thong, my body felt like it was on fire. I slid my hands down to his boxers to remove the last barrier between us, but before I could, he stopped me.

Gazing into my eyes intensely he asked, "Are you sure?" Biting down on my lower lip, I nodded. Quickly he removed his boxers and put on the condom before pulling me back into his embrace.

I'm not sure what I had been expecting when it came to having sex, but I knew that there could have been no way that it would have been better with anyone else. Adrian's movements were slow and gentle and his kisses soft and sweet. As he made love to me, he whispered how beautiful I was and how much he loved me in my ear. The way he caressed me, spoke legends as to how he felt about me. By the end, he had me crying out his name in pleasure as I gripped him closer to me.

Afterwards, he held me against his chest and traced swirls along my back with his fingertips. I closed my eyes as I listened to his heartbeat, relaxing under his touch. "I love you, Sydney," he said as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. Placing a kiss against his chest, I said, "I love you too, Adrian."

**Well, there it was. I hope that I stayed within the "T" rating, but to be honest, I know that I have read more graphic scenes than that in YA novels, so I think I'm okay. Please read and review to let me know what you thought. :)**


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